Chapter Ninety-One; Surrogate Family

(Stephanie's POV)

As it turned out, the one drink or dozen that Haymitch had knocked back in the kitchen ironically seemed to give him some sort of semblance of normality back.

And evidently placing Seneca on the backburner for the time being, Haymitch stood up to his role of mentor, having clearly overheard Isa speaking.

Dinner was served by the normal Avoxes which didn't include the Avox girl who had helped them called Ryess, Stephanie had learned during the course of the day from Haymitch.

Dinner was a rather perfunctory affair in that they wolfed down the luxury Capitol food with little thought, only that their bodies needed it for energy.

As a result it was over much quicker and with less talk.

In silent agreement the three of them made their way into the main room. Stephanie dropped herself onto the sofa, Frenkin beside her as Haymitch dragged a chair to face them, his eyes assessing them keenly as their mentor.

Stephanie always considered it a mystery how Haymitch could drink so much that she could smell it on his breath from a metre away, and yet his bright, grey eyes could still look so focused.

"Training tomorrow." Haymitch nodded to them.

Stephanie hauled in a shaky breath. One more step closer to the Games, she thought.

Frenkin was completely still at her side.

"In training you don't show your skills…"

Stephanie almost laughed outright…What skills? But the fact that Haymitch's expression was so deadly serious and that the advice he was giving was clearly sound, stopped her.

"Go to the survival skills stations," Haymitch instructed.

Stephanie nodded, inwardly thinking how the chances she would survive long enough to put in place said skills was unlikely.

Haymitch paused making sure Stephanie and Frenkin understood his instructions.

"What about alliances?" Frenkin piped up.

Haymitch inhaled deeply and Stephanie looked at him curiously.

There was no way he could fix this one?

Haymitch was about to speak up when Frenkin spoke again surprising both Stephanie and Haymitch with his words.

"I understand I'll be on my own," Frenkin intoned seriously.

Stephanie looked at him sharply, her expression incredulous.

Did Frenkin seriously think that she would leave him, that as soon as the slaughter started she would just abandon him to the bloodbath?!

"Frenkin, I will be in your alliance," Stephanie told him.

Frenkin looked up at her, his mouth a small 'o' of surprise as he pushed his glasses up on his nose.

"Bu…But I can't fight," Frenkin told her honestly, a faint blush rising to his cheeks.

Stephanie smiled sadly at him as she draped an affectionate arm around his shoulders.

"Don't worry about it Frenkin – Neither can I." Stephanie didn't think it particularly the best thing to say to comfort Frenkin; to admit that between them they probably wouldn't be able to kill a fly with their non-existent skills, but…

With a bitter twist of her lips Stephanie acknowledged that it wasn't comfort she had wanted to give him, but truth.

Perhaps it was a cruel truth, but this was Frenkin's life and Stephanie decided that Frenkin deserved to know.

His wide, blue gaze however told her immediately that he had known all along.

Stephanie also hadn't seen the haunted look cross Haymitch's face at her stark words, or perhaps she would not have admitted the bitter truth aloud either.

…

An hour or so later and they went off to get ready for bed, aiming for an early night to be well-rested and bright-eyed for training in the morning.

Stephanie steered Frenkin into his room, her hands resting reassuringly on his shoulders as she directed him towards his bed.

"Now get ready and go straight to bed Frenkin," Stephanie ordered in motherly tones, as she ran a hand through his blonde locks sending him one last small smile before she turned to leave his room.

Her hand had just closed around the handle when he called her…well, he didn't exactly call her and from the look of shock on his small face it had clearly slipped out unintended.

"Mum!"

Something painful in Stephanie's heart was tugged fiercely at, a longing for something she would never know, another thing the Capitol would take from her.

Stephanie didn't waste a moment, as with long strides she went to Frenkin and took him immediately into her arms.

Frenkin clung to her. She could tell by the slight tremors running the length of his body that he was close to crying but the sweet boy was holding back.

Stephanie held him out at arms-length for a moment so she could see his face.

His glasses were misted over and he removed them bashfully before cleaning them on the hem of his shirt.

Stephanie took the glasses wordlessly from his fumbling fingers, folding them and placing them silently on the bedside locker.

All was silent in the room for a few moments, the only light pooling from the small bedside lamp.

"I'm scared," Frenkin whispered so quietly Stephanie could barely hear him, his blue eyes already rimmed with unshed tears.

Stephanie felt her own throat tighten as she pulled Frenkin to her.

Annoyed and angry and frustrated that the only comfort she could give him was a worthless embrace.

Frenkin cried then on her shoulder in his own quiet way, with hiccupping sobs and muffled cries.

Stephanie with an effort lifted Frenkin over to the huge bed.

But even when Stephanie had sat down with him on it he still clung tightly to her, his small face buried against her shoulder as he cried brokenly.

"Sssh Frenkin…sssh darling," Stephanie hushed as she rubbed his back soothingly, surprised at the calmness of her own tone.

With a longing twinge in her heart Stephanie realised that her voice sounded like that of …her sister Weisna as she comforted Eldi when the little girl woke with a nightmare.

Eventually Frenkin's sobs subsided and Stephanie was able to gently direct him to lie back against the pillows.

Stephanie brushed a few locks of fair hair away from his dampened cheeks and flushed face.

"Sorry," Frenkin mumbled after he had inhaled and exhaled shakily a few times.

Stephanie shook her head slowly, "No Frenkin – you don't need to be sorry for anything," she said, cupping his cheek gently.

Frenkin looked up at her and it broke Stephanie's heart what she saw reflected in Frenkin's blue eyes.

Back home in District 3 Eldi looked up at her with trusting bright, blue eyes, filled with naivety and hope. But Frenkin's blue eyes were already dead, filled with horrible, terrified resignation that he was going to die and no one could or would save him.

And what hurt even more was that there was no hatred, or bitterness or malice or ill-will, jealousy or the hundred other things that Stephanie would have completely understood had she seen it in Frenkin's gaze.

Frenkin loved her and she loved him.

Stephanie gathered him to her in that moment, unable to help herself.

Just as Frenkin's sobs were subsiding her own were rising.

"I love you Frenkin so very much," Stephanie whispered against his honey hair as she held his small, trembling body.

"I love you Mum." And Stephanie didn't bother to correct him, for in those moments they were just clinging desperately to replicas of things they would now never have because of the Hunger Games.

Frenkin would never see his mother again, and Stephanie would never have a child to call her own.