The gathering was as it usually was; crowded, loud. People were dancing around, eating, laughing, enjoying themselves. The reason this happened every week was because of the amount of people who really wished that things were back to normal; as happy as we all were, there was no question that the stress of living in the forest in the Florida heat, scavenging for and growing our own food, got to us all at some point. My father especially. The party was his favorite time of the week.

Not mine. I didn't much like all the noise, and stuff like this did a good job of just reminding me what I didn't have anymore, what I could never have. I wanted civilization. I wanted to go to school. I wanted to have to take a public bus somewhere. This tiny, stupid party could never be any of that to me.

I was lying on my cot, a pillow held against both my ears, when I decided that now would be a good time to just leave. Without thinking, I was on my feet, grabbing a backpack and racing out of the back of my house toward the hospital. There was no one around; everyone was in the middle of camp. I grabbed some supplies and shoved them in the raggedy old bag I was carrying, heading to my father's hiding spot for the keys to one of the vehicles. My favorite was the Jeep. I had named him Henry.

Where was I even going to go? I tried to decide that as I jogged to the cars, jumping into the driver's side of the Jeep and starting the engine without hesitation. I couldn't risk being followed. I left the headlights off despite the darkness and backed out of the trees onto the road, easing my foot onto the gas pedal and beginning to fly. The stars whipped over the top of my windshield like rain. I followed the moon, unsure which direction I was traveling in. All I knew was I just wanted to move.

Guilt stung my thoughts the longer I drove, and I attempted to compensate by flooring it. My hair whipped around, my eyes burning from the wind, empty houses and burnt down buildings and broken trees flying by on either side of me. This was civilization now. This was all I had, besides springs that I technically wasn't allowed to swim in, and loud parties where we all danced around, kidding ourselves.

I slammed on the brakes when I found myself at an ocean. So I had been driving in the wrong direction, then. I had never seen this beach before, and I wished I had brought one of the compasses, so I could see which way I was going. I glanced around. Of course, there was no one. Pulling the keys from the ignition and dropping them into the seat, I slid down to the sand, taking off my shoes. It was just barely warm under my toes. I padded toward the water, staring at the reflection of the moon on the rippling surface. It reminded me of the spring, of my home.

There was no arguing that camp was my home now. I couldn't just leave. I couldn't abandon my father, my mother, Isaac. I had to go back.

Regardless, I spent an hour in the water, knowing that this was surely a private spot to swim. My father had always told me to stay diligent when I left camp, if ever, because we never knew how many other people were out there, living like us. Strangers were dangerous. We were risking a lot letting the Cullens in. It only struck me now how trusting we had all been, but my father had the greatest intuition I'd ever seen. If he thought they were good people, then they were.

Tying my damp hair up into a tight topknot and putting my clothes back on, I turned the Jeep around, driving half as fast back to camp. By the time I pulled in, most of the noise from the party had stopped. I returned the keys to their place, feeling guilty about all the gas I had wasted on my little pity party. I could just hear my father's scolding now. Maybe he wouldn't find out.

I was fighting tears as I made my way back toward camp, not even sure why. Maybe I was crying for what I couldn't have. Maybe I was crying because I felt guilty. Whatever it was, tears brimmed and spilled over onto my cheeks, and I sat against a tree, struggling to hinder sobs that would surely attract unwanted attention.

And sure enough, footsteps sounded a few minutes after I had curled into a ball, my face buried in my knees. "Bella?" Jacob asked, and his footsteps softened, slowing. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I croaked, wiping my face on the sandy skin of my knees and glancing up at him. His face was the kindest I had ever seen it, and he took another careful step forward, dropping down in front of me, legs crossed.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, Jacob," I said, unable to show him any of my usual hatred. "There's nothing."

"Out there, you mean?" he asked, and I nodded, another round of tears dripping onto my chin and down onto my chest.

"We have here, though," he said after a few seconds, and I laughed sarcastically, choking back more sobs. "Camp. Your family."

"Don't act like you've never wanted it back," I choked out, meeting his dark eyes. He was almost invisible under the combined shade of the canopy and darkness of the night. He could have belonged to the forest, his skin a perfect echo of the trees.

"I'm not," he said quietly. "I do want it back."

I didn't know what to say to that, and we simply sat together in silence, me crying into my knees and Jacob sitting not even a yard away from me. He didn't leave. I expected him to, almost. Jacob had never been one to show open kindness, but here he was, sitting with me so I wasn't crying alone. Somehow, it made me feel better.

"Do you still want to go swimming?" I asked him, finally. It couldn't have been less than a half hour of silence before that.

He looked stunned, his brows rising. "You want to?"

"I swam in the ocean. I'm sure I'm disgusting."

He started to smile, his white teeth glinting through the darkness. "Never."

"Oh, shut up," I groaned, standing and starting to jog through the trees. My bag had had an extra change of clothes in it, but I had put those on after getting my other ones all salty; the only option would be swimming in my bra and underwear.

I had been shy before the sickness. Not anymore.

"Bella, oh my god," Jacob said, and I heard him slap his hands over his eyes as I tugged my shirt over my head. I laughed, too loudly, and he moved forward, covering my mouth. "Put your shirt back on and keep quiet, or we'll get caught in a very uncomfortable situation."

"Don't be a baby," I said, laughing again, this time less loudly. "It's not like you haven't seen this before. Isaac told me you've seen me swimming, creepy ass."

"That little shit," he growled, but there was a smile in his eyes. I shot forward and jabbed him sharply in the stomach, bouncing back on the balls of my feet to get away from his reaction.

"Don't talk about him like that," I hissed. "Oh, and Jacob. I get that you're an officer and all. But don't order me around." And with that, I yanked off my shorts, diving into the freezing water of the spring and feeling more free than I had in a long time.

—

I thought for sure no one would see us sneaking back into camp, the sun staining the sky dark purple and orange. I was wrong.

"Bella, where have you been?" Charlie demanded, stomping up to me as Jacob and I broke through the trees. My father's eyes moved behind me, to Jacob's long black hair sticking to his russet skin, and then shot back to me. "You've been gone all night. I've been worried sick. So has your mother, and Isaac."

"I'm sorry," I said, looking down at my feet. "I had a bad night. Jacob made me feel better." I glanced at the other boy, and his white teeth were showing again in a weak smile. My usual hatred for him still hadn't returned. In its place was a sudden affection, some amount of actual care for him rather than dislike. It made my stomach twist.

"I'm sorry too, Charlie," Jacob said. "I should have told you."

"Next time you two sneak off, tell someone," my dad barked, and then turned, stomping back toward camp and our house. I glanced at Jacob, who was fighting a smirk, and elbowed him.

"You got me in trouble."

"Actually, I think I saved you from trouble. He liked that we had been together. And he said next time."

"God, shut up," I groaned, moving a couple steps back from him, about to follow my father. "You're delusional."

"When do you think next time is, then?" he asked hopefully, softness I definitely was not used to on his face.

"Like I said, you're delusional," I told him, swinging my bag of clothes over my shoulder and chasing after Charlie.

—

I was assigned to the garden that day, Edward with me, and I had almost forgotten about his arrival by the time I met him in the middle of camp. He looked relatively relaxed, ready for the day. I, on the other hand, was the total opposite; not only was I exhausted from getting no sleep, I was thoroughly confused. Had I actually enjoyed spending time with Jacob? All night, I had actually had fun with him; I had enjoyed spending time with him. He had made me laugh, made me happy. Maybe it was because I had been so sad. Maybe it was the way his skin blended in with the trees.

"This is easy," I told Edward as we walked toward the garden. My mother and Isaac were already tangled in the rows of plants, as usual. Most of us had different jobs every day, but these two were always working on the garden. It was their joint effort, their baby. And it comforted my parents that Isaac worked so hard, but was so happy doing it.

"It's hot," Edward pointed out.

"Thanks, Captain Obvious."

"You look sick."

"I'm just tired."

"Long night?"

His tone of voice threw me off, and I glanced at him, almost angry. "What are you talking about?"

"I heard a couple of the officers talking. Your dad said you were gone all night."

"I was."

"Where were you?"

"None of your goddamn business," I snapped, not sure where he'd gotten the balls to interrogate me like this. If it wasn't bad enough that I was confused about Jacob, I definitely didn't need Edward as a negative reminder that we were the only people in the whole country, basically. I had spent enough time last night hurting about it.

"My mom will show you the ropes," I said, within my mother's earshot, and she smiled, happy to help. I grabbed Isaac's hand and ran with him off to the far end of the garden, ready to completely avoid Edward and all my worries as long as possible.

"Where were you?" Isaac's tiny voice asked me, and I glanced up, peeking through the tall stalks of green around me to meet his bright eyes. Sweat coated his forehead, sticking his curls to his skin.

"Last night?" I asked in reply, already tired of talking about it.

"Yes."

"You'll be happy," I told him. "Jacob and I went swimming."

"You what?!" he demanded, crashing through a row of corn to stand in front of me. "I thought you told him no!"

I laughed, brushing his hair back. "I did. But I was sad, and he made me feel better."

"Why were you sad?"

"I just miss everything," I told him, no patience left in me to come up with a lie. "You know. From a long time ago."

"Momma misses it sometimes too. It's okay," Isaac said, reaching forward and pushing my hair out of my face, how I'd done to his. I smiled and laughed lightly, picking up the small shovel I'd been using again.

"I know it's okay. Everything's okay with you here, kid."

"Are you going to marry Jacob?" he asked suddenly.

"Whoa," I choked out, putting my hand over his mouth. The action only reminded me of the other boy, and my stomach twisted again. "What are you talking about? No."

"Daddy wants you to."

"I know that. We are very young, Isaac. And Jacob is not a very nice boy."

"Who are you going to marry?"

"Why do I have to marry anyone?"

"I just hear them talking about it," he told me thoughtfully, correcting the way I was digging while I tried to avoid his gaze. "They want you to marry someone. Jacob."

"Mom and Dad?"

He nodded.

"It's not something any of us need to be worried about," I said, on edge. Why was today so weird? It felt like my life was just becoming one big tangled knot, in a matter of days. First the newcomers, being assigned to Edward, the bout of sadness, then the weird night with Jacob. Isaac's questions weren't helping things at all.

I was left alone for the most part after that, and by lunchtime we were finished with the garden. Edward followed me and my family members back to the middle of camp, where everyone was gathered again, passing around food. I grabbed my share and went back to my house, lying on my bed and falling asleep before I'd even had time to eat.

It was night when I woke up, hearing my father's snoring as usual. I glanced over, my eyes wide in the darkness, searching for Isaac. I saw his small form silhouetted under a thin sheet right next to my cot, and smiled to myself.

I spent a few minutes trying to fall back asleep, too wide awake and hungry to manage it, and I felt around for the food I hadn't eaten earlier, sighing when I realized someone had taken it. I could just go take something small from the garden. I stood up, putting on shoes and leaving.

It was unusually cold through the thick humidity, and I shivered slightly, sneaking around the edges of camp where I knew no one would be patrolling. The trees were in the back of the garden, and I circled it toward them, swinging up onto a branch and starting to climb into an apple tree. I had done this a million times. The leader of the camp's daughter could do pretty much anything and not get in trouble, if even caught.

I sat on a branch and plucked an apple down, rubbing it off on my shirt and looking down over the garden. My eye caught on someone lying on the far edge, sprawled on the grass, staring up at the sky. I squinted for a whole minute before realizing who it was.

I jumped down, running to Edward and yanking him up by his arm. "Get the hell out of here. Are you trying to get yourself kicked out? Do you know what would happen if Jacob knew you were here right now?"

"Hey, Bella," Edward said, laughing and letting me pull him to his feet. "I can protect myself from Jacob."

"He'd get you and your family kicked out, Edward," I snarled. "Are you insane?"

"I think you could sway his decision, couldn't you?"

I was taken aback, blinking several times and trying to understand what he had meant. I could sway his decision? Was he referencing the night before, when Jacob and I had spent time together? Or was he just talking about my parents wanting us together? Was he not referring to that at all? Had he meant his sentence as a compliment?

"Get back to camp," I finally managed to say, pushing him toward the trees. "Don't get fucking caught, I swear."

"What's eating you?" he asked me, not budging.

"At the moment?" I demanded, glaring.

"No, in general."

I paused, then continued to push him. "Edward, I am seriously trying so hard to help you right now."

"I'm trying to help you. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" I repeated, scoffing. "You're acting like an idiot. A couple days into your stay here isn't a good time to be sneaking around in the middle of the night."

"You know that's not what I'm talking about."

"Goddammit," I hissed. "Edward."

"If you tell me, I will leave," he said. He was smirking, and it reminded me of Jacob. I couldn't tell if that was a good thing or not.

"You told me there is nowhere else," I told him slowly. "No other humans. No one else. No other places. That I'm basically stuck here for the rest of my life, living with the same people, always afraid, always struggling to stay alive and stay together. We had no idea what was out there before you. I always had hope. And you took all of that hope, and you crushed it." I glared at him again, pushing him roughly toward the trees so he stumbled backwards. "Now get the fuck back to camp before I turn you in myself. And you know I can sway Jacob's decision," I jeered, turning and storming back the way I had come.