Chapter 3- June, 2008

June 6, 2008

Is it strange that I already want summer to be over? Well, seeing as how fall is my favorite season, I don't think so. I mean summer's great with all its warmth and constant sunshine, but fall is so full of vibrant and beautiful colors. And on top of that, my second favorite holiday, Halloween, is in October.

Ugh! It just seems so far away now! If people can have Christmas in July, why can't I have Halloween in June?!

Unfortunately, my new doctor friend has been at the receiving end of my complaints. He's handled it surprisingly well though, mostly advising me to be patient. But like me, he has an issue with patience. He's quieted me with a bargain though. He said he would get me something to remind me of fall all year around if I wouldn't complain to him anymore. I said I would hold him to it and an agreement was made.

And just as I complain to him about the seasons, he complains to me about some of the work he does. The poor man feels underappreciated and it angers me that it seems he's never given his full due. He really does deserve more than he's being given. I pray for God to give him patience. Good Lord does he need it.

He makes it clear Dr. Gears isn't a bad mentor. It's just difficult to get his approval on just about anything. I don't even know why he tries. Cool would have better luck getting Dr. Bright to stop being crazy. But I wouldn't bet on it. Take it from me, when that man gets going, he doesn't stop.

Speaking of Bright, that man has always creeped me out. He stares at me rather awkwardly whenever we're in the same room together and I don't think it's because I…dress weird. I honestly do think he thinks perverse thoughts about me, which is why I try to avoid him as much as possible.

Hm…I wonder if Cool could help me with that…

Yours,
Caddy

June 13, 2008

Well, I told Cool about my problem with Bright. I have no idea what he did to discourage him, but it's worked awfully well. I'm tempted to ask, but I think I'd be better off not knowing.

Speaking of strange doctors, you'll never guess who bumped into me at the library earlier this week. Dr. Gears found me and Dr. O'Reilly as we were doing my weekly trip! Believe me, I was surprised, especially when he took an interest in me.

But it also raised several red flags. Gears is a Keter specialist. I'm a Euclid class, so if not for Cool, why would he be interested in speaking to me, especially where I feel most comfortable? He wanted something. I knew it from the get go.

One thing you should know about Gears: Don't trust him, never completely. There are times where I fear h knows what any of us will do before we do it. Psychic? No, just…ahead somehow. I find it rather unsettling. Point being, I'm now on his radar and I'm not liking it. And this time, Cool's powerless to stop him…

Yours,
Caddy

June 20, 2008

I have this fear. Given his new found interest in me, Gears may feel the need to isolate me. Meaning he may cut me off from those closest to me. Granted with Cool, he has every right as he is his student after all. And while I do fear separation from my new friend, I really fear losing Dr. O'Reilly.

Derrick O'Reilly is one of the nicest, most generous doctors in the Foundation. Most call him a fool for his kindness, for caring about us "freaks" and "objects". He's not a fool. He's human.

A perfectly imperfect human.

Personally, I hope never to lose him. Everything can vanish, but as long as I have Dr. O'Reilly, as long as I have one speck of normalcy and kindness to keep things stable, I think I'll be okay.

Yours,
Caddy

June 27, 2008

It doesn't rain around here often, but when it does, it pours. It's been a long time since I've actually felt rain. But listening to it usually is sufficient. From my sanctuary, my spot in the library where I like to read, that has windows all over, I can watch it over the forest surrounding us.

I'm not alone in this room of windows today. Cool's with me, a copy of All's Quiet on the Western Front in his hands. As for me, I'm reading In Sunlight and In Shadow by Mark Helprin. A calm, easy silence reigns between us, but I know he knows something's wrong. He doesn't ask right away, knowing I won't tell until I know we're completely alone. I'll write this conversation if it comes up…

(Later that day…)

Well, eventually it did come up. Not too long after I finished writing actually. Shortly after I put my journal down, he started asking.

"What's wrong, Caddy? You're not usually this quiet".
"I just like the sound of the rain" I told him, "Nothing major".

But my already dear friend wasn't buying it. He put his book down and gave me an unconvinced stare.

"Cadence, I think I know enough when someone or something bothers you. I'll understand if you don't want to tell me, but you don't need to lie".

He doesn't like when people lie to him. I can understand that. I've been surrounded by secrets and lies my whole life. It's one of the things I hate about being here.

"Dr. Gears has taken an interest in me".
"You have nothing to worry about from him. He specializes in Keters, not euclids".
"I know he does, but I'm still worried about this. You haven't told him anything have you?"
"He knows I talk to someone on my free time in the library. I've never mentioned you specifically. I happen to be a little more cautious than that, Cadence".
"But what if he's figured it out?" I wondered, "SCPs and…humans…can never be friends".

I hate using that term for "normal" people, and he knows it. As if sensing my discomfort, Cool took my hand and brushed his thumb over my gloved knuckles. His gaze was intense yet heartfelt as he replied.

"And yet here we are, Caddy, a human and an SCP…no, we're people who happen to care for each other, we're friends. Nothing and nobody can change that. Not Gears, not the Foundation and it's stupid rules, nothing. If they don't approve, too damn bad. I'm not losing you and you sure as hell aren't losing me. What does that tell you?"

For a moment, I was speechless. It's one of the kindest things anyone has ever told me. I held his hand in return, not really capable of a coherent thought.

"I promise, Cadence, I won't let anyone hurt you".

Since he made that promise, I've felt this strange warmth inside. I keep trying to recreate the feeling of his hand on mine. Sadly, it's just not the same…

Yours,
Cadence