I DON'T OWN INUYASHA!
His Touch
Chapter 9: Dear Diary Part 3
Dear Diary,
Because Kyra died, business was slow. But, it was also a lot harder on me seeing as I'm the only one available. I decided that Saturday was the best day to get my escape plan in action. You see, because no one comes in on Saturdays! They stay at home with their families. I found it disgusting how even fedora man could have a family and keep this sick side away from them. I don't know what would be worse… Him keeping away his hobby from his wife and kids or, if they're as sick as he is, them supporting him. Nonetheless, because it's a Saturday they don't leave me in cuffs. Being here for 4.5 months they've already trusted me enough to not be stupid and escape. Well, I was stupid enough then, but I guess desperate would be a better word. Saturday came too slow. I was way to eager to burst through the doors and flee. No one ever stood guard on Saturday's, instead, they just locked all doors. Recalling a conversation I had with Kyra once, she mentioned she has tried to escape once via bobby pin. After that they confiscated all bobby pins in hopes of no more escaping. That would be the case if Kyra didn't hide one under her mattress. Bless that girl, even in death she is helping me. I bet Lady Kikyo and fedora man are furious to find out I'm not there anymore. I hope they don't have business. I hope they rot in hell. Even though I honestly mean it I can't help but feel a twinge of guiltiness for wishing hell upon them… I can't believe this has changed me to the point of feeling hate. But they deserve it, and yet, I can't bring myself to curse them. When I finally left it hadn't occurred to me that I still wasn't wearing any clothes. 4.5 months in that basement and they never had the decency to provide me with at least a drape to cover my modesty. They were generous enough to let me bathe, but that was the extent to their kindness. Seeing the light of the sun nearly blinded me! Being locked in that dim witted basement made me loose all sense of sight outside of it. Everything looked so foreign. There were so many colours, nothing had the slightest twinge of grey. I couldn't absorb it all at once because as soon as my eyes adjusted adrenaline kicked in and I started to run. I don't know where and I don't know for how long but I didn't stop running until everything went black. To end my journey, I was found about an hour later naked and bruised and lying in a field somewhere and they brought me here, where I've been receiving help ever since, Midoriko's Rehab for Troubled Youths.
Dear Diary,
I met a young boy. His name is Shippo. He's here to deal with depression and anxiety over the loss of his parents due to the mischievous demon brothers, Hiten and Manten. They have yet to catch them and that left Shippo all alone here to recover and then later be out into an orphanage. I felt so bad for the kid so I always stuck close to him. We became so close until today.. They concluded that he was "cured" from his mental illnesses and he was put into an orphanage. I was so fond of my fox demon friend. He showed me his cool fox magic that was actually fairly impressive for his age! What do the doctors know anyway… It's not as easy as 1, 2, 3 to get cured from depression. I'll be living with it for a long time.
Dear Diary,
It's been 6 months since I have been missing and today is my official release date back to my shrine. I had a quick therapy session and blah blah blah about how I need to go back to my regular routine. My life will never be ordinary anymore. I'll have to live with this burden of my past on my shoulders for the rest of my life. That didn't matter to me right now though because I swear, if I have to stay in this hospital for one more day I'm officially going to lose it. They gave me ambient to stay asleep (due to my sleep paralysis) and prescribed it to me for my mothers use if I may need it. And of course I have my happy pills, But worst of all, during my violent outbursts they would cuff me to my bed and inject said ambient so their problem will go away. My problem never did though. Did they fucking know what that meant to me? To be put through the restraints and the high in a place where I'm supposed to seek hope and recovery. No, thank you. Of course I'm going to fake recovery. ANYTHING to get out of here ASAP! Finally, I was.
Hey! Back again! First day wasn't so bad actually. Well I lied. It was about as bad as they can get. I wanted ice cream on the way back so I passed by the same street I was captured in. I need to face my fears and to fix the past I need new happy memories to replace them? Does that make sense? Anyway I got myself strawberry ice cream and I met a nice guy, Kouga. He's a wolf demon and such a gentle man. I made it home and my family tackled me with love and tears and of course I returned the same.
Dear Diary,
So last night of course I had my nigh terrors but my family helped me get through it very well. They didn't tell me to get over it or to go back to sleep like the doctors would. Instead they coped with me. My real recovery won't be by myself and that makes me that much more hopeful. With all that courage I decided to call up Kouga. Did I mention he gave me his number? This is very exciting I haven't had a date in… Well Hojo doesn't count as a date. And Inuyasha…
9:00 AM read the alarm clock when it rang in Inuyasha's ears like a metal concert. Loud and hard and nonstop and it leaves you feeling deaf. This is bad. Really bad! Kagome can't catch him reading her diary like this. What will he say? "Oh ya, I came in last night around midnight or so to figure out what happened to you when you were away. Hope you don't mind?" Fuck no. He can't leave the book here either, he'll lose track on where he left off. On top of that she just mentioned his name. Kagome started to stir. Out the window it is. He'd make it to the library to finish the read. When at a that silent place of study he was able to relax and start reading again. He is very close to present time in her diary. Although, now that he learned what has happened to Kagome shouldn't he leave the rest of her diary alone? Nope, not a chance. He needs to know what kid of relationship Kagome was getting herself into with Kouga and what she was about to say about Inuyasha as well.
And Inuyasha was a long time ago. I bet cause I've been missing he's probably with some girl by now. I should move on too. We have a date for ice cream tomorrow. He kind of sketched me out at first, I thought he might've known what had happened to me! Turns out he's just a normal teenager who knows that girls have boy troubles I guess. I wish that were the case.
Inuyasha let out a loud and triumphant "HA!" He totally knew there was something wrong with Kouga. But then his heart sank to his stomach when he remembered that Kagome was trying to move on from him to Kouga. He read on.
Dear Diary,
I was late for my date! No one bothered to wake me up… What made matters worse is that Inuyasha, Sango, and Miroku were at main street that time too! I made Kouga run away with me. Which was a bad move on my part because seeing as I'm with-drawling from heroin still, I was cold that day. After the run, however, I could feel the real summer heat. Well I got busted anyway,
Damn right she was, no one could fool his nose. He'd follow her scent to the ends of the earth.
and they wanted me to explain why I've been missing. God, how embarrassing… I'm on a date with Kouga, someone who knew nothing about me, the perfect opportunity to have a fresh start, and they bring up the fact that I was missing. I don't want to talk about it! I don't want to believe I went through all of this. I want to be normal… It took very muscle in my body to keep me from crying and all the will in the world too. I came up with the foreign exchange thing when I was with Kouga earlier so I went along with that. Figures Sango would see right through my lies. What hurt me the most though was Inuyasha was avoiding all eye contact with me. I guess he really did move on, or he's pissed and he's giving me the cold shoulder… I don't deserve that! Or it was cause Kouga's arm was around me.
Wow, really? You don't say…
Kouga was growing impatient, I guess he isn't very fond of my friends. Too bad for him, he doesn't know ow great they are. I told Sango to come over tonight and hopefully I could come up with a better lie when she comes over. She's my closest friend but I don't need her to be dragged into my troubles. Kouga wanted to leave so he aimed for my wrists. Or at least i thought he was… Anyway, I'm pathetic okay. I ran away.
Sango came early and she caught me crying… I didn't even have time to make up a new story because she was here early so I just told her everything there was so know. She's my best friend. I can trust her. I need to believe that the world is still good enough for me to trust someone. She did tell me she would keep it to herself, I'm grateful.
I do feel bad though… She saw me during my sleep paralysis moments last night. I wish I could control my dreams, so I can at least be happy at some time in my life but nope. Not only is my life a living nightmare, but my dreams are only nightmares too. I don't need to explain what happened that night. you already know how it goes.
Dear Diary,
Kouga called me again. turns out he completely forgives me for running off on him! that;s great so now we can have a do-over. "Something worth while" is what was planned today. How terrifying. I tend to like to know what my plans are considering what's happened. No more surprises. But, I can't show him my pathetic side. He just met me! Wish me luck diary because here comes date round 2!
The upcoming entry is Kagome's last. That means we're at the present now.
Dear Diary,
Why am I making this entry? Actually, better question: why was I so stupid to believe there were good people left in the world? Or why am I just an idiot in general? why whY wHY WHY!? I'm weak. I gave into my desires and got high with Kouga. I know I've used this word a lot but now it's time to use it to it's fullest potential. I. Am. Pathetic. How could I give in so easily? How could I have been so weak? And I thought Kouga was different too! He's just as disgusting as everyman I've recently known. He doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself and will take advantage of any girl who was as helpless as I was. Luckily Inuyasha helped me out of it (if I remember correctly), everything was black after that. I woke up screaming and I looked at my surroundings, I was in a new room. It was nice and huge and white and had a beautiful crystal chandelier at the centre of the ceiling. But then my vision started to deceive me. I saw concrete walls and that rusty, dim light. Instead of the beautiful silk bed I was in I saw the old and tattered one in my old room. Ha… I just called it my old room. It doesn't even belong to me and I would never wish it to anyway. My heart was racing at first I couldn't believe I was going through the same scenario as before. My vision cleared and Inuyasha walked in. I asked where I was. Why i wasn't home. All these memories on the first day of my capture was overwhelming I don't give a shit as to what explanation he has to bring me to his home but the question was why not my home? I can't trust him either. I don't know what he's done to me during my sleep so I told him I'd ride with his mom. I'd prefer female company anyway. I feel bad for falsely assuming Inuyasha would take advantage of me. But honestly… anything could happen. I'm oblivious and stupid. It happened with Kouga. I won't let it happen again. I broke down in the car ride here. And now, Diary, this is my last entry. I've learned this past 6 months that life is unfair. It sucks. It hurts. I won't be broken again. I won't let anything happen to me again. Tomorrow when I wake up at 9, it'll all be over. To whoever finds this Diary and reads it, I'll be long gone by 10am. I'm sorry. I cant take it anymore. I thought I could, but I can't and that's a fact. I can't keep getting fooled and continue to believe there is good in the world. I can't continue to be blind and continue to think that bad things only happen on TV. I can't continue to breathe if every inhale is toxic and makes me feel life I'm rotting. I can't. I can't, and I'm sorry.
That was it. That was all of it. Inuyasha was shocked stiff. Does he dare look at the clock?
A/N: Cliff hanger? Lmao slight one, right! Anyway background story on how I was able to complete this chapter… I didn't feel like studying biology! That's about it. after some Critical thinking for English I got the will to finish this chapter for you guys. Please review, I love to know your thoughts on my progress! Cheers :) Also keep in mind that I wrote this from 11-1:30 AM there may be a lot of typos but hopefully you'll get through them. I was looking at the old chapters and I'm like ew my grammar is awful! SO SORRY! I'll try to revise more but I need sleep now.
AbiTaisho: No sabia que alguien que hablaba español estaba leyendo mi historia! Estupendo, me alegro! Y sí, lo voy a continuar. Hasta luego!