Chapter One-Hundred-and-Thirty-One; Freedom

"You're thinking again…"

Stephanie jumped slightly at Seneca's quiet murmur.

She chanced a glimpse at him to find he was watching her out of the corner of his eye.

"It's really not that rare an occasion that you need to comment on it everytime," Stephanie muttered sarcastically.

She still hadn't forgiven him exactly for kissing her.

Seneca chuckled, "you have a…look on your face when you're thinking," he informed her airily.

Stephanie sketched an unimpressed brow, "and what look would that be?" Stephanie muttered, watching the green grass race by outside. She discreetly stole a furtive glance at him.

Seneca had a half-smirk as he considered his answer, "you scowl and bite the inside of your cheek."

Stephanie's brows drew down immediately as an unbidden flush rose in her cheeks. She also immediately stopped biting the inside of her cheek. "I don't," she muttered stubbornly.

Seneca's smirk grew more pronounced as he gazed casually out the window.

Stephanie turned her head, intending to look out her own window. She jolted, gasping sharply as she saw it.

The sun reflected off the water in blinding flashes so it seemed like the endless lake was made of gold. For a moment Stephanie forgot her surroundings, as an incredulous exhale left her lips.

"Stop the car!" Seneca ordered suddenly.

Stephanie whipped around to face Seneca, confusion and shock battling on her face. "What on earth are you doing?"

Seneca only flashed her an enigmatic smirk as the car slowed to a stop and he got out.

Stephanie found herself frowning confusedly as she sat in the car alone, listening to Seneca's footsteps on the gravelly road. But it was only for a few moments, as Stephanie jumped when her car door was opened.

Seneca smirked as he held out his hand expectantly.

Stephanie scowled, as she peeked warily out at their surroundings.

As far as she could tell they were stopped directly in the middle of a road. She could distantly see the undulating skyline of the central Capitol against the blue sky and on her other side the towering chimneys of the medical research facility were just visible above the tree-line.

Stephanie frowned lightly. She resolutely refused to consider why an experimental medical research facility was placed so far out of sight from the rest of the Capitol.

"Well, come on," Seneca prompted her.

Stephanie looked up at him, her brow furrowed. "Why? – Where are we?"

"I thought you wanted to see the lake," Seneca replied.

Stephanie peered around him curiously at the rippling surface of the water. "I can see it just fine from here."

Seneca dropped his hand to his side again to lean languidly against the car door as he rolled his eyes at her.

"Do you really think I would try to drown you?" he drawled sardonically, an ebony brow arched.

Stephanie frowned darker. "No," she snapped.

"Good," Seneca replied, holding out his hand again.

Stephanie scoffed resignedly as she slapped her hand into his and stepped gingerly from the car.

She really didn't think Seneca meant to drown her in a lake, especially not after all the trouble he had taken with her so far. However…if he wasn't trying to kill her, or frighten her and this wasn't some part of helping her then – what on earth did it mean when she was strolling down to a lake on a warm evening with Seneca at her side?

Stephanie cringed internally as she could almost hear Isa's dreamy voice in her head, prattling on about romantic dates.

Stephanie scowled at herself; this was most certainly not what 'this' was.

She paused as she reached the top of a grassy knoll that overlooked the great lake. If she squinted she could just make out the far-off side, or it might have been her eyes playing tricks on her with the water and sunlight.

"What are we doing here?" Stephanie asked, chancing a glance at Seneca out of the corner of her eyes.

Seneca frowned in almost bafflement at her. "I assumed it was obvious. I thought you would enjoy seeing the lake a little more. If I recall correctly District 3 isn't exactly known for its bodies of water," he finished wryly.

Stephanie's eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion and Seneca rolled his blue eyes skyward for a moment.

"You really have a fantastic way of expressing your trust in me," he said sarcastically.

Stephanie dropped her gaze to the ground where her blue dress was brushing the verdant grass. "Fine," she muttered.

"You know sometimes, things really are exactly as they seem," Seneca told her quietly.

Stephanie looked at him, arching a brow, "are you joking?" she countered incredulously, "here in the Capitol it is the precise opposite!"

Seneca laughed at that, as he shook his head, "yes, I suppose you're right. Your suspicions are well-founded," he conceded.

Stephanie allowed herself a little triumphant smirk as she gazed out over the water again. She never imagined when she was reaped that she would be standing talking so casually to the man that would be potentially responsible for her death.

A part of her reviled against the simple act of speaking with Seneca so conversationally, reminding her of all Seneca was and had done.

She pushed the thought away though, too exhausted and weary to endure her mind tearing itself apart again over what was right and wrong.

"Well what do you think of it?" Seneca queried. He barely seemed interested in the lake at all, but Stephanie had never seen something as spectacular as it in her life. She used to gaze at pictures of the sea in her textbooks at school, trying to fathom what it would be like to look upon something so utterly…free. Because that was what it had looked like to her, as she read about the sea; wild, unruly and completely untameable. Even Capitol ships sunk on it.

Stephanie's eyes took in the enormity of the lake before her in silence for a moment, as she tried to imagine something even larger stretching out before her like the sea.

"I think it looks a very effective place to drown someone," Stephanie murmured distractedly to Seneca.

She couldn't even imagine telling Seneca what she really thought of it. What would a Capitolite understand of freedom? One rarely appreciated what they already had their entire life.

Seneca snorted in amusement at her side, "it's not as deep as it seems," he told her smugly.

Stephanie scowled slightly; trust Seneca to start to ruin her illusion of an endlessly deep place far away from the Capitol's reach.

"Yes, well I'd still drown anyway, I can't swim," Stephanie muttered.

"You can't swim?" Seneca echoed, the surprise evident by his tone as he turned to face her.

Stephanie rolled her eyes slightly. "Yes my mother decided to build the greenhouse right where we were going to have our heated swimming pool," Stephanie retorted sarcastically as she heaved a faux despondent sigh. She cast Seneca a side-long unamused glance.

Seneca chuckled; "very well," he relented, as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

Stephanie tilted her head to the side, her lips opening in surprise as the dark blot of a bird skimmed the surface of the lake.

"You know swimming isn't really that hard," Seneca remarked almost in a bored voice. He wasn't even looking at the lake anymore, having lost all interest in it.

Stephanie's eyes narrowed; if he wanted her to 'enjoy' the lake, he would be better waiting in the damn car, Stephanie thought ruefully.

"Yes, well the one and only time I fell in the water I nearly drowned and emerged with neon green hair," she replied snappishly.

Seneca was blatantly ignoring her hints at discouraging conversation as he spoke on.

"Neon green hair?" he repeated, evidently demanding a more thorough explanation.

"There is only one river in District 3 with a few tributaries branching off it…" Stephanie began when Seneca interrupted her.

"Yes I know it," Seneca said, "you fell in that! It's filthy!"

"You know it?" Stephanie said perplexed.

"It's standard Capitol schooling to learn about the districts," he explained absently, as though it were the most casual thing in the world.

Stephanie's eyes narrowed witheringly, "oh, how very learned of you," Stephanie remarked sarcastically, "and was District lessons little Seneca's favourite?"

Seneca smirked, "are you really blaming me for the education curriculum now?"

"I wouldn't put it past you," Stephanie muttered.

"How did you fall in the river?"

"I was jumping – "

"In the river?!"

"No! Why on earth would I jump in a river if I can't swim?"

"I don't know – you rarely do things that make sense to me."

"Likewise."

"So what were you jumping?"

"I was jumping across the stepping rocks when I fell in."

"Your parents allowed you to play near a river, knowing you couldn't swim?"

Stephanie glared at him scathingly, "my parents had to work over fourteen hours a day just to feed my family," she snarled back at him, "besides, all the kids play around it."

Seneca arched a brow, but wisely didn't press the subject, seeing how tetchy Stephanie was of it.

"Very well. What happened when you fell in?"

"Well evidently I didn't drown," Stephanie grumbled.

"Obviously," Seneca agreed.

Stephanie rolled her eyes, "my brother was there and hauled me out."

"Your older brother Fen?"

Stephanie's eyes widened as she completely froze, her heart seemingly skipping a beat.

She turned her trembling gaze slowly to Seneca as she swallowed thickly the lump in her throat.

"Yes," Stephanie said quietly, "how did you know?"

Despite her best attempts Stephanie's thoughts were already racing ahead with sinister imaginings as to why Seneca would know she had an older brother called Fen.

Seneca's expression sobered as he became acutely aware of Stephanie's paled face and silently dreading air.

Seneca smirked almost softly at her as he blinked his brilliantly blue eyes.

"I wanted to know where Stephanie Trindlesworth had come from that made her who she was," he explained quietly.

Stephanie swallowed again as her brows knitted together.

She couldn't help but remember the last and only time Seneca had referenced her family. When he had threatened the life of her sister Weisna and her unborn child at the interrupted dinner date.

And Stephanie jolted in surprise as she realised something else.

Seneca had…changed.

Like he had said he had. Once before he had threatened the lives of members of her family, and now…now, he was researching her family, wanting to know everything about her.

Seneca was looking at her knowingly as though he could hear every thought racing through her mind.

"You could have asked me you know," she grumbled, dragging herself back to the current and her eyes away from Seneca's perceptive gaze.

Seneca arched a brow in confusion and Stephanie cringed, regretting letting the impulsive and unthinking words slip out at all.

"I don't like the idea that you can find out every single thing about me so easily and without my knowledge or consent," Stephanie explained.

Seneca's expression smoothed with comprehension before a flicker of his usual smug humour touched his eyes. "What, would you have preferred I asked you?" he suggested.

Stephanie glanced at him frostily, "it's common politeness, or perhaps you don't believe in privacy here in the Capitol," Stephanie shot sarcastically.

"Because you are always so willing to have a conversation with me," Seneca murmured the sardonic remark under his breath at her side.

Stephanie sighed, reluctantly conceding that Seneca was right. The only thing Stephanie would have felt, would be absolute alarm if Seneca was to casually spring a conversation on her about her family back in District 3. And she had been in the Capitol long enough now to know that privacy, or any semblance of it was practically non-existent.

"So your brother Fen fished you out of the river?" Seneca said, continuing their previous conversation. The past while had been unprecedented territory for him in terms of progress with Stephanie. They had spoken more than they ever had before and about relatively innocuous topics for a Gamemaker and a tribute to discuss.

He had even gotten a kiss.

A slight smirk ghosted across Seneca's lips as he chanced a glimpse at Stephanie by his side. Despite the rather severe reaction and the fact that his bottom lips was still smarting, he really couldn't bring himself to regret it.

He had done what he had wanted to do for some time now. The only bitterness shadowing the event was of course Stephanie's receiving of the kiss or rather her refusal to. Even though Seneca knew before he had even made his move that she would never willingly return his kiss. An idiotic wild momentary streak in his thoughts had foolishly hoped it would be impossibly different somehow.

"Yes. He jumped in after me and dragged me out. He can't really swim himself but Fen always said he just acted on instinct."

"Your brother's instinct saved your life," Seneca remarked quietly.

"I know," Stephanie replied, as she looked at the water before her, remembering that day years ago. She wrapped her arms around her, feeling an unconscious shiver race up her spine at the cold memories that flooded her mind.

She supposed she should be rather more afraid of the water given her past experience of near-drowning, but the thing was, foolish as it may be, she just wasn't. She suspected it had a lot to do with the fact that she wasn't actually in the water. She rather imagined sudden crippling fear would grip her if she found herself in water again that passed her knees.

The memory of her experience from years before was hazy. If she ever dwelled on it she could never exactly remember how she fell in. She just recalled her brother Fen's infamous words engrained in her memory warning her that she would fall.

For weeks afterwards she had been rather seriously ill, as had Fen. The doctor at the hospital her mother had rushed her to at the most desperate time of her illness had simply said it was the chemicals in the water. Stephanie hadn't the good sense like her brother to close her mouth and as such had gulped down quite a substantial amount as she flailed in the river. The doctor had went on to regretfully say, that as it was impossible to determine what chemicals she may have ingested, he wouldn't dare to presume to prescribe her any medication in case it would react badly with the chemicals now in her system.

She had eventually gotten better as had Fen. The only really lasting factor of her experience had been the neon green hair she had sported for months afterwards.

Stephanie shivered slightly again, crossing her arms over her torso protectively, as the memory ebbed from her thoughts.

Seneca noticed her shudder and rolling his eyes with an almost fond smirk he made to shrug off his jacket and pass it to her – again.

Stephanie stopped him though with a dark glower. She had had rather enough of having Seneca's blazer draped around her shoulders. She suspected that Seneca was also so willing to lend her his blazer because he rather enjoyed the possessive feeling it gave him to see her wearing and taking warmth from his blazer.

"I rather thought you had grown quite fond of it," Seneca teased with a grin as he re-straightened the collar of his blazer.

Stephanie rolled her eyes, "a little too 'smug Gamemaker' for my tastes," Stephanie retorted.

Seneca's smirk widened as Stephanie turned away from the lake, to look over her shoulder at Seneca's car immobile in the middle of the road, winking brightly in the sunshine.

"Should we not be getting back?" Stephanie worried as she chewed on her inner cheek. She stopped doing it immediately when she realised Seneca was watching her.

Seneca shrugged carelessly as he picked his way further down the grassy knoll towards the lake.

"There's no particular rush," he drawled, without turning to look at her.

Stephanie frowned at the blue-eyed Gamemaker's back as he wandered further away from her and she recognised what he was doing. He was delaying the inevitable when they would have to return.

Stephanie effortlessly identified the tactic, afterall being an expert at employing it herself.

Stephanie stood still deliberating. Did she follow Seneca? Did she go back to the car and wait? – Just what in the hell where they currently doing, casually strolling alongside a lake as though they had all the time in the world!?

"Was the river deep?"

Stephanie's gaze snapped to Seneca, his head tilted to the side slightly expectantly.

Stephanie couldn't quite decide if he was genuinely curious or if he was just using the innocuous topic as a means of furthering their conversation.

She also swallowed thickly as her mind threw up at her a conversation she had had with Haymitch about the exact same event before she had asked him to marry her.

"Well?"

Stephanie frowned at Seneca's impatience.

"Yes I suppose it was deep. It was deeper anyway than I was tall at eight years old," she replied, staying stubbornly rooted to her spot as Seneca drifted further away from her.

He made some reply under his breath that Stephanie was too far-away to catch.

"What?" Stephanie snapped suspiciously, seeing the smug smirk on his lips.

Seneca turned to look up at her, "come closer," he called up to her.

Stephanie arched a brow, folding her arms, "I'd rather not," she called back.

Something like realisation crossed Seneca's features. "Ah," he mused thoughtfully, "you're afraid of the water after your childhood near-death experience."

Stephanie rolled her eyes as she scoffed, "no," she replied shortly.

Seneca grinned as he raised his brows shooting her a challenging look, "then come down," he dared her airily.

Stephanie frowned sharply at him. She was not about to be goaded by Seneca Crane of all people. Yet with a heavy huff, a few seconds later Stephanie trudged sullenly down the knoll towards Seneca as his grin widened.

"Can we go yet?" she prompted him.

But to her annoyance Seneca walked away further from her again, ignoring her question. Stephanie narrowed her eyes as she followed him reluctantly.

They stood at the water's edge now. Stephanie was a little disappointed to see that some Capitol interference had clearly been exacted on the great lake. She recognised that the banks were too perfectly circular and the grass didn't grow muddy or mesh into a stony bank like the river back home did. There were also the evident signs that huge pipes were connected to the lake, pumping things in or extracting water out, Stephanie didn't know.

She couldn't help though, but gaze a little awe-struck into the water, that rippled gently in some unseen breeze.

It was so…clear, like a perfect crystal or a pane of rippling glass. She could see right down to the bed of the lake that seemed deceptively closer than it was.

"It's only water," Seneca murmured at her side, the amusement clear in his tone.

Stephanie shot him a brief frown, "I know that."

"Then there's no need to be afraid of it," he countered. "If you fall in I promise to save you," he smirked, "after I remove my blazer of course. I rather like my smug Gamemaker jacket."

Stephanie looked at him deadpan, "I'm not afraid of the water," she said bluntly, "I actually quite like it."

Seneca arched a brow, "you almost drowned in it."

Stephanie scoffed as she rolled her eyes skyward; was he really trying to drive her insane?

"I still like the water," she refuted stubbornly.

An infuriating smirk was curving Seneca's lips. "I see you're someone who likes to live on the edge."

"What?"

"Liking things that have tried to kill you."

Stephanie realised then that Seneca was deliberately teasing her, perhaps because he liked seeing her reactions, liked how she would argue back with him and refuse to back down.

The sensible part of Stephanie's brain was telling her to fall silent and march straight back to the car to wait. If Seneca wanted to drown himself in a lake she would not be the one to interfere! But the annoyed part of her brain, that refused to back down, was becoming more riled by the Gamemaker's manipulation.

"You're being absurd," Stephanie snapped.

Seneca smirked. "You nearly drowned and yet you still like the water."

"Just because I nearly died in it doesn't mean I can't still like it!"

"I thought it was a basic evolution instinct; fearing the things that might kill us."

"A bloody pin might kill me! Would you have me walk around wrapped in cotton wool?!"

"So you're not afraid of the water?"

"Are you deaf?"

"Would you jump in the water now?"

"I might push you in it in a moment if you don't stop being such a smart ba – "

"I can swim though."

"Pity."

"So what you're saying is you may be afraid of something and it may be potentially dangerous yet…you can still be – attracted to it."

Stephanie's eyes narrowed as Seneca looked to her with a faux innocent look that failed completely when he smirked.

Stephanie turned on her heel, "I'm going back to the car," she muttered over her shoulder.

Seneca didn't try to stop her this time as he shadowed her steps.

Stephanie begrudgingly allowed him to walk by her side. She wasn't about to try and race up the grassy knoll in heels and a dress. Knowing her luck she would fall…right into the damn water.

"I didn't think all it would take to impress you would be a lot of water," Seneca said, still smirking.

"Are you deliberately trying to annoy me?" Stephanie sniped as she narrowed her eyes shrewdly.

"I'm just making conversation," Seneca replied airily.

"Your conversation isn't very impressive."

"The only time I can get a conversation out of you at all, is when you are so annoyed with me you forget who I am," Seneca said quietly.

Stephanie's furious expression faltered slightly as she looked to Seneca, noting that the blue-eyed Gamemaker was no longer smirking.

Stephanie swallowed as they reached the car and she couldn't help but pause to look back at the lake.

"What do you like about it?" Seneca asked her, but there was no joke or sarcasm to his tone.

Stephanie sighed, "I don't know," she muttered vaguely trying to ignore Seneca's piercing look. "It's silly," she added in a quieter mumble, horrified when she felt – of all things! – a blush creep into her cheeks.

"What is it?" Seneca pressed. He was leaning against the car door preventing her from just climbing in and ignoring his question.

Stephanie tried to shrug carelessly, "it's free."

"Free?" Seneca echoed immediately, his gaze puzzled. "It's water," he corrected.

Stephanie scowled, "I know it's bloody water, I'm not blind!" she grumbled.

"Then what do you mean?"

Stephanie frowned, feeling suddenly wearied and confused and a million other things.

"Seneca why on earth do you want to know this?" she demanded exasperated. "This can hardly interest you."

"It does. I want to know you better," came the immediate reply.

Stephanie sighed as she glowered at him. Seneca never flinched.

"I like the water because…it's free. Like the sea – you can't control it, not even you Capitolites can…I suppose, in a way it symbolises everything I wish I could be," Stephanie shrugged, embarrassed.

"What wet?" Seneca quipped.

Despite herself Stephanie laughed as she passed a hand across her eyes.

When she looked up Seneca was smiling at her; not smirking or grinning smugly but - smiling.

Stephanie sighed as her brow creased.

"What do you want me from Seneca?"

"Nothing more than what you're willing to give."

"Really?"

"You really think I would force you?"

"You utterly confuse me."

"How?"

"You say you love me and yet…you're a murderer. You've killed people like me."

"So has Abernathy," Seneca said shrewdly, his blue eyes flashing.

Stephanie scowled darkly. "Don't dare compare what Haymitch was forced to do to survive with what you have done willingly," Stephanie seethed, her golden eyes flaring angrily.

"Of course not," Seneca drawled bitterly, "afterall Abernathy is just infallible," he sniped sarcastically.

Stephanie adopted an expression of imperiousness as she arched a brow, "you know jealousy really is childish."

Seneca pushed himself off the car, advancing on Stephanie with a dangerous look in his eyes. Stephanie swallowed, refusing to back down as he spoke, nearing her even further until the space between them was essentially non-existent.

"Well what can I say Miss Trindlesworth, I am a jealous, possessive and selfish person. I don't like having to share my things – "

"And I'm not your thing!" Stephanie snarled, placing her palm on Seneca's chest to push him back.

Seneca allowed himself to stumble back a step or two as he clenched his jaw and fists tightly. He closed his brilliantly blue eyes for a moment to gather himself before he opened them again to fix Stephanie with a candid look.

"No you're not my thing," he agreed, "you Stephanie Trindlesworth are free..."

Stephanie scoffed, "I'm hardly free," she muttered bitterly.

"You are," Seneca refuted. "You are free to choose me or Abernathy. I won't ever force you."

Stephanie looked at Seneca gritting her teeth.

I hate him. I hate him. I hate him…I don't hate him.

Stephanie sighed heavily; she didn't hate Seneca, not anymore. She abhorred the things he had done, detested the part of him that was a monster. But she could never blindly hate Seneca Crane again, she realised. He was far from being redeemed or forgiven and she really did find him infuriatingly smug as an aside, but…it would be a lie to say that she hated him now.

He had changed, whether it was her fault, as Seneca claimed or not, she didn't know. But he had changed…and for the better.

Seneca was looking at her again with that piercing gaze that made Stephanie feel like he could read her very thoughts.

Stephanie frowned flustered. "You'll forgive me if I don't place much faith in your words after your previous actions," she snapped sarcastically.

Seneca rolled his eyes, "I thought you said you trusted me."

"Your very actions after I had told you that, proved you didn't deserve my trust."

"I'm sorry I kissed you alright!"

Stephanie scowled, "I want to get in the car," she said stiffly. She didn't want to continue this conversation.

"Do you forgive me?"

"For what?!"

"The kiss."

"This is ridiculous!"

"Do you?"

"Fine then! – I forgive you for the kiss! Can I please get in the damn car now?!"

Seneca stepped aside, pulling open the door and Stephanie fairly dove into the car, scooting as far over to the other side as possible.

She looked determinedly out the opposite window as he got in; away from the lake, away from Seneca, away from freedom.

Thanks for girlworthfightingfor for the review; we're not quite back to Stephanie/Haymitch yet :P