Cassandra spent some time sat with her mouth slightly agape, looking around for someone else to share her newfound knowledge with but finding no-one of course. She steadied herself and flicked back over what she'd just read to confirm she wasn't imagining things. Mentally she was cursing Varric to the heavens and back, she was beginning to read these stories as avidly as his romance serial and they both knew what people thought of that.

There was something, as far as the seeker was concerned, very right about the idea of Hawke and Varric being together. She shuddered, hating the thought that she was advocating a relationship between the champion and that infuriating dwarf.

Something that you can only really understand once you've experienced loss, is that the world continues on. Regardless of whatever personal tragedy you've endured life doesn't just stop to accommodate you. That was a concept that Hawke and I, and our extended circle of friends, were becoming accustomed to. Today was an example of life moving forward despite everything. It was also the day that I realised that even if Hawke or I failed to come back home one day people would still get on with their lives, and one of us would have to go on without the other.

For a little context, Anders wanted us to fetch some ingredients for something or other in the bone pit. So Hawke gathered up those of us she wanted to take with her - Anders to point out what it actually was that we were collecting, Fenris because they'd been becoming close as of late, and myself because I was her trusty sidekick after all.
In a rather short space of time we'd run into a dragon. I don't mean a little one or a dragonling, I mean a full blown high dragon all teeth, claws and fire. Hawke was powerful, but she couldn't fight a beast like that by herself. In the chaotic attempt to regroup Anders and I had become separated from Hawke and Fenris. We heard rather than saw the dragon go down, but as it fell it brought down half of a cave wall. Hawke and Fenris, last we'd seen them, had been fighting the dragon on one side of the new rubble obstruction, and Anders and I though we could see one another were unable to get closer.

"There are many ways out of these tunnels!" he called to me from his position. "We should focus on making it out of here and finding each other later."

I nodded to show that I'd heard him, he was right of course. Standing there was liable to get us killed.

"Alright blondie, see you on the other side."

It might sound ironic that a dwarf would feel uncomfortable underground, but I've been raised on the surface all my life. The Deep Roads, caves, you name it. Every place like that gave me a sense of unease. Not to mention the possibility of corpses popping up around every corner in the lowlight. I was mentally thanking Merrill a thousand times for convincing us all to carry our own light source when we went out on a mission.

Somewhere in the damp corridors of the tunnel network I started to wonder about Hawke and Fenris, and somewhat about Anders. I was less concerned about him since I'd seen he was well enough to take care of himself - but I had no idea about the other two. I figured broody could take care of her, but there was always this little voice in the back of my mind telling me I'd seen her for the last time. Although, if I had to choose a way to see Hawke go out, illuminated by dragon's breath would make for a lasting impression.

The idea of Hawke's death was already taking its toll on me without any proof one way or another. Eventually my mind wandered to our one-time ill-considered kiss in the Hanged Man.

Shaking those thoughts from my head I began to recognise where I was, knowing that the surface was only an hour or so walk away improved my mood drastically, and I instead began thinking about what I'd do if Hawke really did never come back. It occurred to me that things wouldn't change so much. I'd be in my own personal hell like I was with Bartrand, and she was with her family. This time there'd be nobody to share it with and maybe it would finally be the end of me - or maybe it wouldn't. I would still get up every day in Kirkwall going about my business. If I didn't things would go on without me. Somehow that train of thought brought me a little comfort as well as some melancholy; or rather it did until a bony hand grabbed me by the shoulder.

Jumping out of my skin, I'd never known the corpses to be so sneaky, I rounded on it immediately ready to stick a few bolts into the forage. Instead of a corpse I was instead greeted by Hawke's face, struggling with all her might to hold in her laughter with a skeletal arm in her hand. I couldn't help myself, so I smacked her on the arm and pulled her in for a hug which she easily returned.

"Hawke you are an ass."

She laughed again now, wiping some of the tears from her eyes.

"Oh man your face, you were about ready to decapitate me!"

We released each other a little awkwardly, and she patted me on the head.

"Hey, what did I say about petting the dwarf?"

"Only after several pints and a bottle of chardonnay."

I turned and began to walk the way I'd been going before she interrupted me, and Hawke followed slightly behind.

"What happened to Fenris, he isn't with you?" I asked, cursing myself for actually being somewhat glad he wasn't here.

"There was more than one way for us to get out, so we split up in case either of us found you guys. Anders isn't here with you either?"

I laughed, picturing Fenris' face when he ran into Anders in a dark corner of some cave.

"Oh they'll be so pleased with each other's company."

Realising that even though I'd said that I still hadn't confirmed Anders' safety to Hawke I spoke to her over my shoulder.

"He's fine, we just couldn't get to each other."

Hawke relaxed at that, and for the rest of the time we were in the tunnels we spoke about the usual things in between fights with shambling groups of corpses. By the time we made it out of the cave it was night time, but we were still happy for the fresh air. She looked up at the sky and smiled at the sight of the stars. Once, she'd told me how the stars calmed her on nights she felt alone. There were particular constellations she had chosen for her father, mother, brother and sister that brought her peace when she had no-one. I'd reminded her that she always had me.

"No sign of Anders or Fenris yet." She said eventually, clearly a little anxious.

"They'll be here, they're probably just too busy arguing over something." I replied, not quite believing myself but doing all I could to lighten the mood.

We set up camp to wait for them at the mouth of the cave. There was no way that we could figure out where we were in relation to Kirkwall in the dark anyway. Neither of us had been carrying any bedrolls or camping equipment but we knew how to make a fire, and so we gathered up what we needed and settled down on some slightly less uncomfortable rocks.

"So you never said, did you guys actually take down the dragon?"

Grinning from ear to ear she reached into her hip pouch and produced a gnarled and bloodied fang the size of her head.

This sparked off the conversation about her fight, the excitement as the dragon went down and the terror as it caused the cave-in. She was animated and it took her mind off the others at least for a while.

Hours passed and there was still no sign of the others, we were running out of ways to stay optimistic about the situation and our moods lowered further as the sun began to rise. Neither of us had slept and the fatigue was further exacerbating the situation. After some convincing we decided to head back to Kirkwall. It was better to wait for them there than out on the mountainside.

We'd emerged somewhere on Sundermount but it didn't take us long to find our way back once we could see the landmarks along the trail in the daylight.

We decided we would wait at Hawke's estate, reasoning that if they came back to find us they'd go there first. I tried to reassure her that with Anders there they really were in a better position to receive care in that cave than they would be in Kirkwall.

What followed was a week without sight nor sound of either of them. The worst part about it was that we were right, life did just continue on without them. Hawke and I were stuck in a sort of limbo where we performed our daily tasks and waited for news that never came. By this point we were used to loss, but we weren't used to uncertainty like this. Someone was dead or they weren't, you couldn't mourn if you didn't know. Days passed and we spent each evening in the drawing room waiting for any news before falling asleep in our chairs and rising the next morning. As we began to adjust to this new routine we finally got the news we were waiting for.

Anders came shambling into the Hawke estate Fenris in tow. He looked exhausted, and the elf wasn't in great shape either. Both of us leapt out of our seats to greet them.

"Fenris, Anders!" Shouted Hawke running over to them and beginning to look them over for wounds like a mother hen. "Where the fuck have you been?"

"Maker's balls, we were starting to think we'd never see you again."

I had made it over to them by this time too and even though I was concerned, more than anything I was relieved.

"You and me both." Anders laughed a little, though he was clearly deflated.

"What happened?" Hawke frowned, leading them to the available empty seats.

Anders and Fenris recounted their journey back to Kirkwall. It turned out that in the beginning things had gone exactly as expected. They met up, argued a little, and Fenris helped Anders collect the materials they'd originally gone to get while they made their way out. Once they had made it to a section of the tunnels that they recognised they'd been cut off by slavers looking for Fenris and they had the tunnel roof brought down on them by Justice who saw it as the only way out - cutting their own noses off to spite their faces so to speak. Anders had then spent days carrying a severely injured Fenris out of the cave system. He used up all of his mana keeping the elf alive and they had to take the long way around any and all obstacles. Thankfully they'd had enough provisions to at least feed themselves for the first four days or so and water enough to last five along with what they could find in the caves and boil up.

After the explanation Hawke ran them both baths and allowed them to clean themselves up and rest in the estate. She didn't want them going home until she knew they'd be safe. I went back to the Hanged Man to give them all some space for the time being.

For the first time in a long time it seemed like luck was on our side.

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Sorry it's been so long since an upate! So much has happened out in the real world recently that I haven't had time to write - and then when I did I had no motivation for it. Nice reviews and favourites/kudos etc here and on AO3 have really pushed me to just try and crank another chapter out. This was harder since it's sort of a filler chapter that helps to set up the next one so nothing particularly exciting for me was going on. Now it's done and I've gotten past my mental block with it so hopefully I'll get back into the swing of updates. Thanks for all the support, you guys are the best.