I'm back with yet another update. I want to thank those who reviewed, I really appreciate it. It really helps to keep me in the momentum of writing. I have to say again, I am just loving this. It's like a breath of fresh air for me. Thanks for reading and reviewing!

The Journey Home

Chapter Three

Leaving Atlanta

The soft churn of the river boat should have been a comforting sensation, but to Rhett Butler it only served to remind him of where he was and what he was leaving behind.

The night air softly swirled around him as he sat on the deck outside of his private room. He had asked to not be disturbed unless he summoned someone, which he had not. With his long legs propped out before him and his arms crossed over his chest, he looked to be content and as ease, but nothing could be further from the truth.

The truth was, he was nursing a pounding headache from the two day drunk he had been on. He had drank harder and longer than ever before and now he was paying the price for his heady actions, but at least he was gone from Atlanta with their prying eyes and wagging tongues. Although, he suspected that tongues were no doubt wagging since his departure.

He didn't remember much, but what he did wasn't pleasant. He was through with Scarlett, through with her and the whole marriage. And, as he became drunker the more adamant he became about it. He wanted everyone to know that he was no longer a fool, no longer going to run after his wife like a lap dog… no, he was through with that. Let her have her precious Ashley. They deserved each other.

Rhett, I only know that I love you… Scarlett's words rang gently through his mind. Love? What did Scarlett really know of love? She only knew of money, greed and power and her epiphany about her love for him was no doubt due to the fact that he was no longer going to be there. Scarlett only wanted what she couldn't have.

He had told her the truth when he told her he needed peace. Bonnie's death had been a hard blow to him, harder than anything he had ever faced in his life. He would never think of his beautiful Bonnie without his heart tightening in sorrow. When she died a part of him died, too.

He missed her laughter, her quick dimpled smile and her joy of life. She was all things to him and without her he knew he would never be the same man.

He was going home to Charleston, back to his roots and hopefully to find the peace that he so needed. He wanted to see his mother, Clarice and his sisters, Caroline and Isabelle. They were both married now with children of their own. He had brought Bonnie there once during their travels and she had loved it.

He had sent a telegram to them telling them of his impending arrival. He would tell his mother everything once he had gotten there and settled in. No need to worry her unnecessarily was his thinking. She would be heartbroken enough over Bonnie, much less the failure of his marriage. But it was for the best, he told himself, it was for the best for him and for Scarlett. One day she would learn to accept it as he had done.

The carriage pulled into the back of the Peachtree house at Scarlett's bidding. She wanted to go in through the back where the kitchen was or more importantly where Mammy was. She needed comfort and Mammy was the one person who always gave it to her when she needed it.

She sought her out once she was inside, asking Macy the cook where she was. She told her Mammy was in her room and that's where Scarlett found her. As soon as she saw her, she fell into her arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

"Shh, Miz Scahlett, shh," she comforted with her soft, portly hands. "Mah lamb gwine be alright in dis here time of sorrow," she patted her as she spoke.

"No, I won't, I won't ever be alright again," she cried against her shoulder. "Rhett's gone, Mammy. He's really gone and I have no one now, no one who really loves me."

"But, you do honey chile, I's loves you. I's always loves you from the very first time I eva held you in my ahms when Miss Ellen done birthed ya."

"Oh Mammy," Scarlett cried again and hugged her tightly. "What am I going to do without him? He hates me now and he won't ever come back."

"Shh," Mammy said again. "You go on an cries until you gets it all out, cause dat's the only way you's eva gwine get over it. Mr. Rhett loves you and he'll be back. You jus' have to give him to time to think 'bout it, dat's all."

"But I've lost everybody. Bonnie, Melanie," she sniffed. "I have no one. And I said such nasty to things to him when Bonnie died. I was so hurt and angry, I didn't know what I was saying. I just wanted to lash out at him for losing her. I miss her so much, Mammy. Every time I think about her sweet little face I just want to die right along with her. But, it wasn't Rhett's fault, I know that now and it's too late. He's gone and I'll never be able to make it up to him," she said as a fresh wave of tears rolled down her face.

"Miz Scahlett, I's mighty hurt to watch you and Mr. Rhett go at each other the way you did, but you's both was hurting and in pain. Pain makes folks say things they don' rightly mean. You jus have to give Mr. Rhett time to gets over it, dat's all."

"But, I don't even know where he's gone," she sniffed again as she wiped at her cheeks. "He said Charleston, but how do I know that's even the truth. Belle wouldn't tell me anything."

"Belle?" Mammy's eyes widened in horror. "You mean dat painted woman with da dyed hair?"

"Yes," Scarlett nodded her head. "Oh Mammy, don't look at me like that. I had to try and find him, didn't I?"

"You mean you's went to a..a.." Mammy stammered, too upset to even get the words out.

"Yes," Scarlett nodded again.

Mammy dark face grimaced in indignation. "I's plum ashamed a you, Miz Scahlett. Miss Ellen and me done tried and tried to train you's to be a lady and then you's go to a place like dat. Hmm, hmm, hmm," she shook her head.

"I had to, Mammy. I heard that's where Rhett was. Besides, no one saw me. I had my veil over my face."

Mammy stared at skeptically, still shaking her head. "It don't matter none, it ain't fittin' for you to go in a place like dat, no matter whats you say. That Belle Watling is white trash jus like dat Emmy Slattery what killed Miss Ellen. You's better stay away from dere from now on," she finished firmly.

Scarlett lowered her head and dabbed at her eyes. "Don't worry, I have no reason to go back. Rhett's left Atlanta, I know that now."

"If Mr. Rhett done lef' Atlanta, than maybe you should, too," Mammy said in a matter of fact tone.

"What?" she looked up at her with a frown. "Leave Atlanta? Why does everyone keep telling me I need to leave my home?"

"Cause, dis ain't your home. Dis is a nice, big fine house, but it ain't Tara. I's surely do miss dat ole place and I know you do, too."

"Tara," Scarlett repeated softly. Yes, Tara, her mind said. Tara is home, Tara is your strength. Go to Tara and it will lead you to Rhett.

"Miz Scahlett, I's never asked you for anything in all mah years wid you, but I's asking you dis. Let's go back home. I's lived most of my life dere at Tara and I's surely would like to dies dere and be buried in dat red dirt. I's part of it and its part of me, jus' like its part of you."

Mammy, don't talk about dying… not now. I've had enough of that," she shook her head in misery. "I can't lose you, too."

"I's not gwine any where," she smiled gently and took her hands. "Not while mah lamb needs me."

Scarlett leaned over and gave Mammy another hug. "Mammy, thank you," she whispered. "And don't worry, I'll take you home. We'll go back to Tara, I promise."

"Does mah lamb mean it?" Mammy asked gently as she patted her back again.

"Yes, I mean it. We'll leave in the morning, first thing."

"Thank you, Miz Scahlett, thank you," Mammy answered with tears now in her own eyes. "It'll surely be good to be home, won't it?"

"Yes, it will, Mammy, it really will."

The next morning as planned, Scarlett along with Mammy, Pork and Prissy set out for Tara. She had packed as much as she would need for her stay and then some. She didn't know how long she would be gone or how long she would stay, but she knew that she wouldn't be back in Atlanta for some time.

As they drove through the streets, Scarlett looked around her, taking in the busy sidewalks and bustling businesses and for the first time realized that she didn't need it as once thought. She had left the lumber business to Ashley, to whom she also wrote a long letter explaining her departure. She told him that she had met with her attorney's and now he and he alone owned the mill. He could do with it as he pleased even if that meant selling it. The money he would make would no doubt keep him and Beau up for some time.

She sighed as she watched the streets turn more and more into long stretches of fields until they were so far out that they couldn't see even one building. She was satisfied with her choice to go home to Tara. She knew that's where she would find what she needed to go on.

Carreen would be happy to see her even if Suellen wouldn't be. She supposed she couldn't blame her for still being upset, but Frank had been dead for many years now and it was time for them to get past it. She would make her offering to Suellen and hopefully, they could make amends and become sisters again and perhaps even friends.

And once she made mended those fences, then she would concentrate on Rhett. She would get him back. She knew in her heart they were meant to be together and one day they would be and this time it would be for the right reasons. Yes, she thought, it would be for all the right reasons and he would know that she loved him and he, her. It was meant to be, after all. Of that, she had no doubt.