Chapter One-Hundred-and-Sixty-Two; Tension
"Well?" Stephanie asked immediately and nervously. Her golden eyes filled with trepidation, rested meaningfully on Electra, as she and the blue-haired woman walked side by side towards the waiting car that would take them back to the penthouses.
The utterly, chaotically confusing and devastatingly, heart-stopping party was finally over.
"Well, what?" Electra snapped distractedly, glancing at Stephanie.
Stephanie scowled lightly. "My bloody public apology – how was it?" Stephanie reiterated worriedly.
Electra frowned at Stephanie, "What, do you want a mark out of ten or something?"
"Ellen, you know what I mean! Now, will you put me out of my damn misery!" Stephanie hissed exasperatedly at the older woman.
Electra rolled her eyes slightly, as she sighed heavily.
She looked at Stephanie, face drawn tight, before she forced a casual shrug. "It was fine," Electra muttered unconvincingly.
"Really?"
"Yea, apart from the tension so thick I felt like I was choking," Electra replied sardonically, fixing Stephanie with a candid look.
Stephanie almost groaned, as she scrubbed a weary hand over her face.
"Was it really that bad?" Stephanie inquired meekly with hopeless eyes.
"I was conflicted between thinking that you and Mr Crane were either going to kill one another, or rip one another's clothes off," Electra muttered bluntly in reply.
Stephanie flamed red, as she shoved Electra's shoulder in reproach, before despair set in heavily once more.
Electra sighed exasperated, "Stephanie, look, don't worry – "
"How can I not?!" Stephanie interrupted, hissing.
Electra fixed her with a stern look, "Because the mere idea that something could possibly be going on between the President's Head Gamemaker son and a tribute – especially one from the poor districts; is far too much for these little airhead Capitolites to even comprehend. Most will think the tension was the choking hatred you have for one another," Electra finished sardonically. Stephanie barely resisted scoffing.
Hatred…? That was a rich joke.
Stephanie drew in a wavering breath. "I am going to have to avoid him from now on – at all costs." Stephanie stated resolutely.
"Being forced into that public apology was your own fault," Electra shot at Stephanie unsympathetically.
"No need to rub in the fact that I sometimes lack the sense to do the wise thing, and keep my mouth shut," Stephanie grumbled.
Electra arched a superior brow. "Only sometimes?" she exclaimed with false surprise. Stephanie rolled her eyes, already feeling a pounding headache approaching as they thankfully reached the car.
…
Stephanie was terrified to look at Haymitch, had been, ever since her public apology to Seneca had ended.
She expected to see that steely look from before on his face, as he raised a cold wall between them. She expected dark suspicion in his familiar, storm-grey eyes that would make the guilt in her burrow deeper and her heart twist painfully. She expected and feared so much looking at Haymitch and so she had avoided it altogether. She had glued herself to Electra's side until the party had ended, much to the older woman's exasperation with her.
But in the car, avoidance was impossible.
There was only the four of them; Frenkin, Electra, Haymitch and Stephanie.
Frenkin was curled up in a little bundle, blonde hair tousled sleepily and glasses sitting askew on his nose as he dozed. Electra, unlike usual, was caught up in her own brooding thoughts and was not in the mood to make conversation of any sort. It made Stephanie slightly uneasy to see the blue-haired woman so preoccupied, especially considering the eventful party they had just endured.
Stephanie was convinced that as long as she lived, she would forever consider that one of the most disastrous parties she had ever attended. She almost wished she had of gotten drunk. The night's events had thrown up nothing but complications and added worries to an already staggering list in Stephanie's mind.
But the only worry filtering through, blaringly clear to Stephanie at that moment was concerned with her silent, grey-eyed ex-fiancé seated beside her.
Stephanie sighed lightly, almost jolting when her arm brushed Haymitch's as her shoulders sagged with the expletive.
Unwittingly her eyes flickered to Haymitch to see if he would react at all to the accidental touch. And suddenly she was looking at him, and he was looking at her. And Stephanie felt entirely foolish for having spent so long avoiding his gaze like a naughty child trying to escape getting in trouble. Haymitch looked away from her again, out the window.
Stephanie steeled herself, swallowing tightly. How many times had she scolded herself now since coming to the Capitol, that she couldn't be so naïve and childish like she had been back at home in District 3? Hadn't she been mildly proud with herself, as she recognised herself standing on her own two feet? What was she doing now then? Burying her head in the sand, desperately trying not to face up to the circumstances she found herself in by running at a breakneck speed in the opposite direction of them. She'd tried that approach with King and look how well that situation turned out.
The situation wasn't going to get any easier the longer she avoided it. It wasn't suddenly going to look brighter if she left it to the morning to address. Fanciful notions like that had been dispelled since coming to the Capitol. Whether in the cold light of day or the pitch black of night; the Capitol never changed and neither would her situation if she didn't address it.
She was attracted to Seneca Crane. And Haymitch knew.
Had known for a while now, if Stephanie's suspicions and reasoning were correct.
Stephanie sighed again as she tried to piece together words in her mind. Acceptable words. Just like she had had to do with her public apology to Seneca.
Stephanie scowled, trying to push the blue-eyed Gamemaker out of her thoughts. Now, wasn't about him. It was about Haymitch. But then, Stephanie considered ruefully, it had become increasingly impossible to think of one without bringing up the other recently. And that was where Stephanie's danger had lay. Seneca had rose to almost equal importance in her thoughts as the man she was planning on marrying and spending the rest of her life with.
Stephanie adamantly refused to allow herself to blurt out the pitiful 'I'm sorry, Haymitch' that was resting so easily on the tip of her tongue. She had given a bloody better apology to Seneca Crane!
A public apology to Seneca Crane and a private apology to Haymitch Abernathy… Stephanie almost felt like laughing, except it would hurt too much.
The simple fact was that Stephanie had absolutely no idea what to say, or what she could possibly say to Haymitch in the given circumstances. She just knew that she had to say something. It would be cowardly of her to remain silent, pretending to be ignorant. Haymitch deserved better. She would tell Haymitch about having feelings for Seneca, because Stephanie loved Haymitch and Haymitch deserved the truth.
For a horrifyingly minuscule moment, Stephanie found herself almost…relieved that she and Haymitch weren't together anymore at that moment. Trying to apologise to Haymitch, or possibly explain how she had somehow become attracted to the man that had ruined his life while she was still engaged to Haymitch, would be too unbearably cruel.
Electra looked over at them knowingly. In that frustratingly intuitive way the blue-haired woman had, she effortlessly picked up on the tension that simmered between Stephanie and Haymitch.
Stephanie almost scowled again at the thought. Why the hell was the situation she was in with Seneca not so long before, being reflected in perfectly, painstaking clarity with Haymitch now! The struggling for words, the suffocating tension, the impending apology…!
Fate damn well hates me. It has too. No one's life can possibly be filled with this much bloody painful irony, Stephanie thought miserably.
The car slowed down suddenly without warning, surprising Stephanie. She hadn't realised that she had spent the entire car ride back to the penthouses in brooding silence.
"Finally!" Electra groaned with obvious relief as she dived for the car door.
"Tiny Tim!" Electra called sharply, startling Frenkin rudely from his exhausted sleep.
Stephanie righted Frenkin's crooked glasses on his nose tenderly before the younger boy clambered from the car with a sleepy, grateful smile. At least with Frenkin, things were abundantly clear. She loved the boy unconditionally, like the kid brother she never had or the son she would likely never have. And the one person she perhaps knew exactly what she felt for in the Capitol was practically guaranteed to be dead soon. Bloody brilliant Stephanie. Life choice extraordinaire you are, Stephanie's thoughts had been on a definitive downward spiral of scathing self-reproach, since she realised she was attracted to the man who ruined the life of the other man, she was supposed to love.
Stephanie halted her droll thoughts before they could possibly damn Seneca or herself or Snow and the entire Capitol anymore in her head, as she made to climb out of the car after Frenkin.
She was stopped though when Electra positioned herself staunchly in the doorway, stooping to glare at the car's remaining two occupants.
"You two are going for a drive," Electra announced shortly. She was met with similar cries of indignant protest from both Stephanie and Haymitch.
"Ellen, I swear I will kill you!"
"The hell are you playing at Ellen!"
Electra remained looking entirely unsympathetic, speaking loudly over any ensuing protests and resolutely refusing to be budged from blocking the door. She glared absolutely murderously at Haymitch when he made to reach for the opposite door. "Don't even think about it Haymitch! I never knew it was possible to create so bloody much tension Stephanie, but congratulations – you have! And I refuse to spend the rest of the night in that penthouse watching you two avoid one another all night! I will kill you both, and right now, I'm not even sure I'd regret it in the morning. So, for the sake of my questionable sanity and your own safety – you are both going for a damn drive!"
An irritated voice piped up from the front seat as the driver hearing Electra's uncompromising rant, made to protest.
Electra whirled violently to stalk towards the driver's door. The scars on the left side of her face stood out in sharp relief, highlighted by the harsh lighting of the Capitol at night.
The car door lay wide open and Stephanie could just glance Frenkin standing unsure and wide-eyed on the pavement, and the brightly lit penthouse building rising behind him. For a split second Stephanie considered making a break for it; not that she doubted Electra wouldn't tackle her and drag her back to the car, kicking and screaming. But the fact that Haymitch hadn't budged, stilled Stephanie from making any attempts at fleeing. Stephanie realised that despite her and Haymitch's vehement protests, Electra was actually right. They both wanted things out in the open. They just needed a riled, blue-haired woman to force them into it.
"Now, are you going to drive these two around for a bit, or am I going to drag you from this car and into the nearest alley for a chat, and then you're still going to drive these two around for a bit?" Sarcasm burned venomously in Electra's words as she glared terrifyingly at the driver. A meek and petrified assent immediately followed Electra's threat. Electra grunted in reply, rolling her eyes. "Wise choice," Electra added, "And make sure you keep the bloody screen up. If I find out you were eavesdropping, I will hunt you down," Electra warned finally before stalking back. She threw Stephanie and Haymitch one last disgruntled look.
"I'm warning you both," Electra enforced. "I haven't had to endure a party that bloody tedious in years and if you both come back, having resolved nothing, I will not be responsible for my actions taking my frustrations out on you both. Understood?"
Electra didn't wait for either their agreement or refusal as she slammed the door shut with a resounding bang of horrible finality.
Stephanie could just hear Electra's gruff voice on the other side of the door, before the car pulled silently away from the curb.
"Come on Tiny Tim, I'm beginning to think you and I are the only two sensible people in this Capitol…"