Note: Part Three - "Hurt Like Me" is mainly the inner thoughts of Ichabod and Abbie before they discuss the changes in their relationship, as well as the beginning of the actual discussion that will be concluded in Part Five –"Let Me In"(Part Two).

They both had time apart, Abbie at her office and Crane at the archives. This is also due to Chapter Four and Five, "Let Me In" being mostly dialogue.

Hope you enjoy it

- Kay

Part Three – Hurt Like Me

(Ichabod POV)

Ichabod sighed as he closed General Washington's Bible and pinched the bridge of his nose. Usually the text would evoke some feeling of comradery from his past companion but today it was just another hefty reminder of what was most dear, his Leftenant.

Their Bond

Their calling as the two witnesses ordained by God himself

The promises he made

The trust they shared he had caused great harm

Her inability to open up.

How her eyes were always filled with compassion, strength, intelligence and lately more than anything resentment towards him.

Will she ever just let me in?

His inability to be the partner, the man that she truly deserved

All things Abbie.

The weight of things, it all seemed to throw them so out of sync.

It was just after 5 pm and throughout the day Ichabod had been struggling to focus on anything. His mind was stuck in a wretched loop, between Abbie and Pandora, the same questions kept plaguing his mind.

Is Abbie alright, was she thinking of him, did she like being held in his arms?

What was Pandora planning for them next?

How could did they fit into her warped conjuring for world domination or as she would explain it world purification?

Is Pandora manipulating them trying to turn them against each other? Why didn't she kill them when she had multiple chances to do so?

Is Pandora trying to cripple their relationship, even more so than it already is? Was she inviting them to stand by and record the catastrophic events as the world fell into ruin? Did she truly believe they would make that choice?

Why now?

What was Abbie doing, was she still angry, was she just as ravaged as he was by the events that took place this morning or was she at home in her office, in complete control?

Did they even know how to be honest with each other anymore? Would they even try to lessen the gap that sprung up between them? Could they?

Tonight's conversation was weighing heavier on him with each passing moment. He couldn't concentrate on the Sumerian inscriptions on the tablet anymore, Washington's Bible failed to comfort him and not even the incantations and spells written by his good friend Mrs. Grace Dixon within the pages of her journal did the job.

The journal, every time he looked at it he just remembered Abbie, her delicate scent, her wispy little moan, her resilient walls, her warmth.

How she felt underneath him and how she looked at him, how every glance she had given him that morning was filled with frigid hostility and disappointment that was usually held back by a her modesty and the bond they share as friends.

What bothered Ichabod was that he had been foolish enough to get caught, as much as they needed to discuss this fragile state between them, he could honestly say, he was terrified.

He didn't want to go to war, but deep down he'd known it was coming. He felt it since being locked in that blasted vault with her. They had said so much but so little.

Is it my fault?

I was the one who left.

I was the one who ruined everything.

Is that how Abbie thinks of me, am I that man, the captain kneeling on the ground, crying out for her to save me from my past, again?

Am I still broken as she uttered under the fragile state of slumber?

Am I worth it, do I deserve to be saved, do I even want to be can I ever stop loathing myself for what I've become?

Deep down I just wanted someone else to hurt like me? I never thought it would be her, I wish it wasn't her...

It seemed to be an innumerable amount of questions which he dreaded the answers to. But what he dreaded most would be sitting across from his Leftenant at 7 pm sharp.

He would not be absent, not this time.

They both needed to know the truth they both had a right to know the ins and outs of things.

Tonight, they would begin to heal and with all healing comes pain and discomfort.

Ichabod's hand slid from his face, it was nearly time to gather his coat and head the home.

(Abbie's POV)

Pulling into her driveway, Abbie motioned to remove the key from the ignition but for some reason the damn thing just kept getting jammed. After her third attempt at key removal, the key finally slipped from the ignition.

Today had been pure hell on top of all that car trouble and she ended up thinking of him all day, Thanks to Dani, the nosy little forensic specialist, asking about him first thing in the morning as if it was her damn business to know his whereabouts 24/7.

"Abbie, hi"

"Hi Dani"

"I just wondering how your roommate is fairing, is he adjusting well to the

"Hello, Jenny, Abbie said as she placed her hand on her Bluetooth ear piece, I'm at work, yes I think ... Dani I'm so sorry, it's my sister, I've got to take this."

"Oh, Of course" She said as Abbie made a bee line for her office.

Well that was one for the records with everything going on she had to resort to the fake family emergency phone call to Jenny. Just to be safe she called her and let the phone ring twice and quickly hung up.

Crane, her day begun with him

She still could not believe she woke up to Crane in her bed, he smelled like Christmas morning due to the mint tea he often drank at night, relaxing he said it was calming for him.

She remembered his goofy boyish grin, how deflated he looked when she pulled away from his warm body.

How the loss of her woke him up. How his face fell into sadness when she took her warmth right out of his arms.

Am I wrong for my pettiness?

Is it bad, that I wanted to see him yearn for me? He should, after all I've done for him, and he should hurt like that, hurt just like I did.

The only saving grace of the day was that she was stuck in meetings about the anaconda case and later in her office doing paper work for most of it and not out in the field.

She had a feeling that if she ran into Johnny he wouldn't be so compliant to tell her any more useful information again. She probably would've given him a tougher time than he deserved. He wasn't what was underneath her skin, her roommate Ichabod Crane was.

The Captain from the past.

She could see in his eyes, bravery, compassion, strength, cocky intelligence all those things were still there in 1781. But what wasn't there was this self-loathing pain of 2015.

Even then she could see herself in his eyes.

Even now, but it seems like so much has happened, like Ichabod was somehow ashamed of being exposed, like he didn't want her to see it. Why? Why won't he just open up to me, let me all the way in?

Will he ever let me in, do I even want to be in, am I already in too deep with him?

And if he opens that door, am I ready to enter, to be all in with him to share everything, I've never shared everything with anyone, not even Jenny.

Abbie felt pressure from all directions.

She hated these feelings. Abbie hated being so out of control. She wondered why she always ended up fixing things.

The broken promises he made

The trust between them that had become so mangled

How he hoards his pain instead of sharing it. How he ran away from home, away from me

The Bond

Being witnesses, our whole entire relationship, is that all that drives us, are there no other forces between us?

Maybe we shouldn't talk about what happened, maybe we're both better off not knowing anything else.

As soon as the thought entered her head she leaned back in her leather chair took a long stretch and shook her head.

Every muscle in her body seemed tense. A chronic symptom of Crane on the brain, a condition that she had become too well acquainted with over the last 3 years.

I don't know what to do

That's the problem.

There was a pattern here that she was to blame for, she always let him do this.

Abbie let him get away with doing things that hurt her whether intentional or not, she let him do it and she always let it slide but not this time. Today it would stop.

No more coddling, no more, Not tonight. Fuck that.

Let's just go to war

Let's just blow down both our little gingerbread houses

Put our cards out front and center

Abbie shook her head as she exhaled a deep breath, a breath she had been holding since she got that call to visit him in jail. Tonight, might bring freedom for both of them but they would have to fight for that liberty.

They would have to battle each other for the truth and no matter how much she wanted the truth, she knew it would hurt.

She knew in the morning they would both be left with an abundance of scars from their salted wounds.

Bring it on

Stepping out of her SUV, Abbie grabbed the takeout from a local Italian place as she shut the door behind her.

She started towards the front door.

Crane watched her approaching from the porch swing, they're eyes met as she headed up the stairs.

They both looked away quickly

"You know, I could've picked you up" Abbie said as reached the top of the stairs.

"It's alright Leftenant I needed to clear my head."

" So soon after your walk home last night, Crane am I really that hard to live with?"

"No, that isn't what I meant, I just enjoyed the time to myself."

"Of course you did, you always seem to enjoy your time away from me" She snapped

"That's not true" He countered

"It was for 9 months" She whispered

"Abbie I don't enjoy being away from"

"We should eat first, fettucine alfredo isn't as good microwaved"

Crane held the door open for her, she crossed the threshold.

He bolted the door behind them.

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Next Up Part Four - Let Me In (Part One)