Chapter One-Hundred-and-Seventy; The Truth
"Hey! You falling asleep on me again?!"
Stephanie blinked open her eyes blearily, frowning when two images of Electra swam before her blurred vision.
"I'm exhausted Ellen – and you have me awake at some forsaken hour in the morning, drinking alcohol," Stephanie managed to get out, only slurring slightly.
Electra laughed heartily as she swigged generously from her glass.
"You'd never survive in the Capitol Stephanie. Your stylists and Isa will still be partying right now out there in the Capitol somewhere."
Stephanie snorted. "Lucky them," she muttered dryly, casting a spare glance towards the windows. The sky was pitch black but the Capitol was still brightly lit up; the colours blurring together like some strange nocturnal rainbow under the steadily falling rain.
"So," Electra began almost cheerfully and Stephanie looked at the blue-haired woman suspiciously. A devious smirk curved Electra's lips.
"Dare I ask how your late night rendezvous with the Capitol's favourite, blue-eyed Gamemaker went?"
Stephanie frowned. "Well, I didn't murder him and take his blazer as a kill trophy," she muttered wryly.
Electra sniggered, grinning appreciatively. She looked at Stephanie expectantly.
"I don't want to talk about this," Stephanie grumbled, drinking deeply from her glass.
Electra snorted as she leaned across to refill Stephanie's glass to the rim.
Stephanie shot the other woman an unamused glance. "Ellen, despite past experience, drowning me in alcohol will not make me any more willing to talk."
Electra gasped in mock innocence. "I can't believe you'd suggest I would do something so underhand like that!" she exclaimed feelingly.
Stephanie rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you tricked me into that meeting with Seneca, by lying and telling me Ficen needed to remove my necklace!" she shot back heatedly, sending Electra a fiercely disapproving look.
Electra snorted as she drank from her glass.
"And I definitely can't believe you actually fell for that crap. I mean it was one of my less impressive lies. I was put on the spot and everything when you and Haymitch turned up and I had Seneca on the phone at the same time demanding to know where you were!"
"And so what? You told him I was out on a drive with Haymitch?!"
Electra shot Stephanie a deadpan look, leaning forward slightly. "Stephanie dear, listen to me. Seneca is the President's son and in general one of the most powerful men in the Capitol. You may be up to refusing him and insulting him publically but I, on the other hand, am more concerned with self-preservation…Of course I bloody told him!"
Stephanie sighed lightly, knocking back a few burning mouthfuls of alcohol. It tasted like liquid fire blazing down her throat, but it was making everything pleasantly fuzzy.
Stephanie chewed on her bottom lip nervously, rolling her glass between her hands before she chanced a glance at Electra.
"What did…erm, what did Haymitch say when he realised, you know that I wasn't with Ficen getting a necklace off? I mean I was gone too long…what did he think had happened…?" Stephanie trailed off, eyes round with trepidation.
Electra paused with her glass half-raised to her lips. "Stephanie, Haymitch knew exactly where you were going and to who, the second I said 'I'll bring her down now' on the phone."
Stephanie's mouth dropped open with an alarmed cry, eyes wide. Some of her drink spilled over the edge of her glass onto her dress, but she barely noticed.
"What?!" Stephanie exclaimed. "Haymitch knew I was with Seneca?!"
Electra frowned lightly, taking a large gulp of her drink before answering. "Of course he knew, Stephanie. He's not stupid. Haymitch saw straight away through that Ficen excuse I spun on the spot. And it wouldn't have exactly taken a genius to figure out who it was that was arranging cosy, private, midnight meetings with you. It was only you that was gullible enough to actually fall for it."
Stephanie scowled fleetingly at the insult, but was too worked up to get much annoyed over it.
"But Ellen," Stephanie said, leaning forward desperately. "Haymitch doesn't think – he can't think that I would lie to him like that. That I would set up a meeting with Seneca behind his back and that I was in on in with you, playing along with that excuse about Ficen needing to remove my necklace?! Haymitch doesn't think that I could be so…deceitful with him; does he?" Stephanie's golden eyes trembled as she looked to Electra distraught.
Electra sighed, rolling her eyes again. "Of course he doesn't," she replied obviously. "I thought I told you before; you're a terrible actress. And if you had known that it was Seneca waiting for you, it would have been written plain across your face. As it were, it was obvious you were clueless. Haymitch doesn't think you're some conniving liar, skulking around behind his back," Electra finished muttering before taking another long drink.
Stephanie leaned back, marginally relieved. The thought that Haymitch could have possibly suspected her of deception like that had already tortured her. And she was comforted to know that he didn't think so badly of her.
But the relief she felt was tinged with guilt. She was more aware than ever now of how Haymitch saw her. She loved the man, had planned to marry and spend the rest of her life with him; of course she was going to be concerned with how Haymitch viewed her. But ever since she had told Haymitch about her germinating feelings for Seneca, Stephanie was terrified and convinced that Haymitch must think less of her than he once did.
And despite having Electra's word that Haymitch didn't think she had been deceptive about the meeting with Seneca, Stephanie concluded bitterly that it really didn't matter anymore. Considering what had subsequently happened during her midnight meeting with the Gamemaker, Stephanie didn't want to even imagine what Haymitch would think of that. The guilt in her heart squeezed tighter, it burned and broiled sickeningly in her stomach making her feel utterly wretched.
Stephanie raised the glass of acerbic drink to her lips, taking a few generous gulps. As the burning alcohol slid down her throat, Stephanie with a jolt realised: This was how Haymitch felt after he had failed to save another one of his tributes from Seneca's Games. This unbearable, gut-wrenching guilt. The guilt Stephanie was feeling wasn't of the same sort as Haymitch's but it hurt just as much. And it made the harsh bite of the alcohol all the sweeter as she reached for it, just as Haymitch would have.
"Why didn't Haymitch say anything if he already knew?" Stephanie asked quietly.
"What would he have said Stephanie?" Electra asked, voice tinged with exasperation.
"I don't know," Stephanie replied, gaze dropping to her hands as she shrugged half-heartedly.
"Say Haymitch had of told you that I was lying, and that Seneca was waiting for you and not Ficen. What difference would it have made?"
Stephanie looked up, frowning, lips twisted downwards.
"Would you have refused to go if you had known it was Seneca?" Electra asked shrewdly.
Stephanie swallowed thickly. She desperately wanted to fire back fiercely that 'of course, she wouldn't have gone down if she knew Seneca was there!' But, with her new-found feelings for Seneca, Stephanie wasn't so sure she would have said that at all.
And suddenly Stephanie was immensely grateful that Haymitch hadn't told her the truth, hadn't placed her in such a position. She had told Haymitch once before at the racetracks, that she wanted to see Seneca. And that hadn't gone too well.
Electra looked knowingly at Stephanie, as she watched the younger girl's eyes dim with an all too obvious guilt.
"What are the clothes about?" Electra asked, disturbing Stephanie from her ever-spiralling descent of self-reproach. She nodded towards Stephanie's folded bundle of district clothing on the sofa next to her.
"They're my clothes I wore the day of the Reaping. They keep the clothes to – well, I guess you know what they do with the tributes' clothing after the Games?"
Electra smirked grimly. "But why do you have them?"
"Seneca happened across them down in Ficen's studio and – " Stephanie's words trailed off as her thoughts turned to the events that had succeeded the finding of her Reaping clothes.
"And?" Electra prompted her.
"Seneca told me to keep them, after I got…upset."
Electra's brows rose slightly in surprise. "Wow; I'd almost consider that…decent of him."
Stephanie flashed Electra a brief frown.
"I suppose I shouldn't have got upset at all really. I mean, I should have guessed Capitolites would do something as twisted as auctioning off dead kids' clothes."
"They are Capitolites," Electra mused in agreement.
"I don't even know why they would do something like that though; I mean they are forever saying that those from the districts have no fashion sense so why would they want to buy Reaping clothes?"
Electra rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. "You're that really annoying person that keeps asking why to everything, aren't you? Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Why do I want to glue my face to Seneca's everytime I'm near him? The answer is it doesn't bloody matter, so stop overanalysing!"
Stephanie frowned, as she made a quick grab for the cushion beside her and fired it across the coffee table at Electra. She missed of course, and the cushion sailed harmlessly over Electra's head.
"Hey! You only get one free hit tonight and you've already taken it. Anymore and I will retaliate, and you will get hurt because you fight like a six year old," Electra warned.
Stephanie snorted. "That's probably because the only person I ever have mock-wrestling fights with is my four year old niece."
"Wonderful. At least we know if the arena turns out to be a classroom of four year olds, you will be in your element." Electra remarked dryly. "By the way you, me and Haymitch are going to training tomorrow at Blondie's apartments."
"Where?" Stephanie asked, frowning confusedly.
"Blondie!" Electra said emphatically, "Sterlin? You haven't met him yet?"
Stephanie couldn't help but chuckle at Electra's earnest expression. "No, I have met him. Haymitch introduced him to me as Sterlin, not Blondie though."
"He actually thinks that bleach blonde look he has going, looks natural," Electra snickered.
"Ellen, I don't think I will be able to move in the morning," Stephanie said honestly, holding up the glass in her hand for emphasis.
"Here drink some more – just drink through it." Electra was already moving to fill up Stephanie's glass.
"I'm not sure that's how it works," Stephanie said dubiously.
"Trust me. Alcohol and I are close acquaintances," Electra refuted. "So, in between having your lips locked with Seneca's, did he actually say anything worthwhile?"
Stephanie's head snapped up, expression immediately furious. "And what makes you think I was kissing Seneca?!"
"Your lipstick is smudged," Electra replied easily.
Stephanie frowned, fingertips brushing her lips before she realised, "It can't be. I'm not wearing any make-up."
"I know," Electra said, "So, now that we have established that you were in fact kissing Seneca Crane – "
Stephanie interjected with a heavy groan, realising too late how she had fallen perfectly into Electra's trap. She threw the other woman a dark frown. Electra grinned.
"So – did he mention anything worthwhile or did you spend the whole time glued at the face?" Electra remarked drolly.
"We didn't spend the entire time - !" Stephanie stopped abruptly, silently fuming.
"What, you did more than kiss?" Electra asked with a wicked grin.
Stephanie's face darkened to a crimson red. "No, we damn well didn't Ellen! For goodness sake – it's my bloody styling studio!"
"Nice to know that it was only thoughts of your location, that stopped you from taking more than just the blazer of Seneca Crane's back," Electra remarked with a little smirk.
Stephanie narrowed her eyes scathingly. "I admit we kissed, alright? But nothing else happened. I was too busy recovering from having just fainted."
The smirk on Electra's face immediately faded. "You fainted – again?!"
Stephanie rolled her eyes, finishing off her glass.
Electra leaned forth to refill it, already scowling at Stephanie. "You have to be more careful – Stop fainting!" she admonished.
Stephanie rolled her eyes slightly. "Yea, I've been working on that the past ten years," she grumbled.
"Try harder," Electra shot back uncompromisingly
"You sound like Seneca," Stephanie grumbled, under her breath.
"I take it then Seneca told you about your fainting?"
Stephanie's eyes narrowed as she looked at the blue-haired woman. "You knew!" Stephanie suddenly exclaimed.
Electra frowned exasperatedly, "Of course I knew – "
"How the bloody hell does everyone keep knowing things before I do?!" Stephanie interrupted. "And is there any way I can learn how to do it, because it seems like it would come in handy considering recent events," she added sardonically.
Electra smirked. "Stephanie, any attempt to try and teach you how to spot lies and deceit all around you, would be a lost cause."
"So how did you know about my 'deadly fainting'? Or could you just effortlessly tell it from one glance at me?" Stephanie asked, sarcasm heavy on her words.
Electra chuckled, sipping from her glass but her expression had sobered in the next moment. "Seneca had…someone ring me and tell me. I was tasked with trying to keep you from fainting at the party."
Stephanie snorted. "Impossible," she said.
"I know," Electra agreed.
"If you've known since the party - Did it never occur to you to maybe think it worthwhile to mention to me, as an aside you know: 'by the way Stephanie – you're dying!'"
Electra rolled her eyes. "If I had of told you at the party, you probably would have fainted on the spot."
"I didn't when Seneca told me."
A crafty smirk tugged at Electra's lips. "I'm sure he had more persuasive ways of keeping you awake," she replied and Stephanie scowled murderously. She was nowhere drunk enough to try and discuss what had happened that night between Seneca and her and what implications and repercussions it carried.
Electra could quite easily see that Stephanie was trying her damn hardest to fight back any attempt to broach the topic of Seneca Crane, even though it was obvious it was the one thing clearly on her mind.
Electra also knew however that Stephanie was the type of person who couldn't keep things locked away for long inside of her; secrets tumbled readily out of her lips and feelings shone clear in her eyes.
So Electra resolved to allow Stephanie her futile attempts to avoid talking about the one thing that was haunting her, knowing sooner or later Stephanie would blurt it out on her own.
She leaned forward to top up their glasses again instead, her thoughts turning to the phone conversation when she had first found out about Stephanie's 'fatal fainting'.
"Do you know a man called Wirin Xavier?" Electra asked suddenly.
Stephanie frowned thoughtfully, brows knitting together.
"Tall man – slightly smaller than Seneca though, brown hair with an orange streak and has this really annoying smile? Is that him?"
A fleeting grim smirk passed across Electra's lips. "That's him," she answered, sipping from her drink as she watched Stephanie carefully.
"Well, I know Seneca knows this Wirin Xavier then," Stephanie replied. "Do you not remember? I told you 'Wirin' was at the medical facility that Seneca took me to."
"When you told me about the medical facility you were too busy recounting every detail of Seneca's actions. How dare that blue-eyed, arrogant Gamemaker give you his jacket, and how dare he carry you and how dare he kiss you. I probably zoned out during your drowning pit of self-denial, maintaining you felt nothing towards Seneca."
Stephanie frowned fuzzily. "No, I wasn't."
Electra rolled her eyes. "Yes, you were," she refuted before eyeing Seneca's blazer resting across her shoulders meaningfully, "I see things have clearly changed now," she remarked wryly.
Stephanie's frown deepened, "Why did you ask me about Wirin?" she asked, attempting to change the subject once more.
Electra's expression sobered and she cast her eyes down to the drink in her hands.
"Was that the only time you've seen or talked to him?" Electra asked instead, ignoring her question.
A look of mild puzzlement grew on Stephanie's face. "Yes," she answered dumbly, "I didn't much like him." She shrugged before a sheepish smirk crossed her lips, "But then he's a Capitolite and I don't much like Capitolites. He made me feel…on edge though."
Electra remained silent, for a few moments; the scarred side of her face covered in shadows.
"Why, who is he? Do you know him?" Stephanie asked innocently, peering at Electra over the rim of her glass.
"I knew him," Electra said quietly, taking a long draught of alcohol. She refilled her glass before speaking again. "He is Lark's son. Lark was – "
"Like a father to Seneca, I know," Stephanie interrupted, sitting up, suddenly more alert. "So Wirin and Seneca are like…brothers?"
Electra's lips twisted into a bitter smirk as she scoffed silently at the description, but Stephanie barely noticed as her thoughts were otherwise occupied.
So…she had met Seneca's brother then? She remembered thinking that she knew so little about Seneca when she was examining her feelings for him before and yet…she knew and had seen in his eyes how fiercely he had loved Lark. And she had met Wirin, someone who was practically a brother to Seneca and was helping him do something entirely dangerous and illegal like aid a tribute. Stephanie doubted many Capitolites knew their favourite, blue-eyed Gamemaker and President's son quite so well.
"Well that makes sense then," Stephanie said suddenly.
"What does?" Electra arched a brow.
Stephanie looked up. "At the medical facility Wirin said he wanted to help Seneca and that he saw Seneca like a brother," she explained.
"How exactly is Wirin helping Seneca?" Electra asked.
"He helped with my scan," Stephanie replied.
"And that's all?" Electra pressed.
Stephanie frowned. "As far as I know. Ellen, what is this about? Who is Wirin Xavier to you?"
Electra released a measured breath, drinking generously from her glass. "No one, Stephanie. He's…no one."
Electra watched the slight suspicion fall away from Stephanie's face. The girl was exhausted and half-drunk, not to mention caught up in her own emotional crisis; so Electra supposed she couldn't rightly expect Stephanie to be exactly on point at the moment.
And what could Electra really say to her anyway? Electra didn't know what Wirin was up to and from what Stephanie had told her, Wirin wasn't looking very incriminating for anything at the moment.
All Electra had learnt from the threatening phone conversation she had had with Wirin Xavier was things that she already knew about. Wirin still hated Seneca Crane; the years hadn't changed that. Wirin was still keeping up the loyal, loving pseudo-brother act with Seneca that he always had. Her years away from the Capitol hadn't changed that either. The only new scrap of information: Wirin was undeniably involved somehow in the situation concerning Stephanie and Seneca. And that was the concerning part.
Because Electra knew what kind of man Wirin Xavier was too well. She had a face of scars on the outside and deeper scars on the inside that he had inflicted on her to attest to exactly what kind of monster Wirin could be.
For a flaring moment Electra was ready to warn Stephanie. It was clear Stephanie was wary of and disliked Wirin. Not nearly suspicious or hateful enough though, Electra thought grimly.
Electra didn't know what Seneca thought of or how far he trusted his narcissistic, unctuous pseudo-brother Wirin. She had never thought to warn Seneca about Wirin before, even though she had spent countless nights listening to Wirin drone endlessly on about how much he hated Seneca. Electra wasn't exactly fond of the blue-eyed Gamemaker either even though Seneca had saved her life. Seneca was still a Capitolite and the little brat she still thought of him as, still held her inescapably to her debt. One thing Electra knew for certain though, was that when it came to twisted, cruel Games Wirin outdid his 'brother' Seneca everytime.
The fact that Seneca trusted Wirin enough to allow him into the situation between him and Stephanie, made Electra very uneasy hence. She imagined that was far too much trust to be giving to a man who absolutely hated your guts like Wirin did Seneca.
But then Electra swallowed back the warnings resting on the tip of her tongue, let the flaring moment of action pass. She couldn't speak out; couldn't warn Stephanie against Wirin.
For Wirin held something far more powerful over Electra than the debt she owed Seneca.
"My brother Fen told me once you changed your name to Electra to seem more interesting for the Games."
Electra looked up as Stephanie's unexpected statement crashed through her thoughts. From her open face alone Electra could easily tell that Stephanie had already forgotten all about Wirin Xavier. Her tipsy mind was jumping erratically about from topic to topic, her cheeks flushed with the drink.
"Did he now?" Electra attempted to say casually.
"Did you?" Stephanie pressed.
Electra smirked. "I didn't choose it, the District 3 escort at the time did and I didn't object. Why, do you want to change your name?"
Stephanie scoffed. "I want to change more than my bloody name at the minute Ellen," she replied, only half-joking. Electra smirked in understanding.
"Is that pendant yours then?" Stephanie asked, nodding towards Electra.
Electra frowned, looking down. A slight dusting of pink touched her cheeks as she realised she had unconsciously taken the pendant that hung around a chain on her neck out, and been holding it the past few minutes as her thoughts had drifted.
It didn't really deserve the description of 'pendant'. But they were popular in District 3; given that the most novice factory worker could whip one up. It was really just a flat disc of smooth metal that had some small design imprinted on it with a hot soldering iron. Young couples would get one each with something usually sappy printed on theirs. Or fathers and mothers would make them for their children. All the factory workers wore one with their name on it though for a more grim reason. It was in case there was an explosion like the one that had cost Stephanie's father his arm; the discs were a lot easier to identify than bodies after an explosion. Stephanie had taken hers off before she had gone to the Reaping that would change her life forever.
Electra looked at the pendant again between her fingers; worn smooth with the many times she would find herself unconsciously reaching for it when her thoughts drifted. There was just one letter on the little silver disc…'E'.
"No, it's not mine," Electra finally answered Stephanie's question.
Stephanie arched a brow curiously and Electra smirked sadly, before sighing.
"I made it for my daughter," Electra answered quietly. She tucked the smooth metal disc beneath her jumper for the metal to lie against her heart.
Stephanie blinked in evident surprise, having never heard Electra mention having a daughter before.
"Oh," she said softly. "I didn't know you…" Stephanie's words petered out, as she looked to Electra apologetically.
Electra merely smiled easily, shrugging and Stephanie bit her lip.
"The father…?" Stephanie asked hesitantly.
"Capitolite," Electra answered.
"Does he know?"
"He knows," Electra replied tightly, expression grim.
"What happened to your daughter – " Stephanie trailed off.
"Eve." Electra elaborated. "I called her Eve – after my own mother." Electra hadn't wanted to be anything like her mother; the foolish, beautiful girl she was forever told her mother was. So she had been shrewd and calculating and selfish. But when the little bundle with golden wispy hair had been set in her arms, Electra had wanted nothing more than for her daughter to grow up like Electra's own mother. Innocent, naïve and idealistic. Electra didn't want her daughter to have to be calculating, shrewd or selfish like she was. So she had called her Eve.
Stephanie smiled sadly. "What happened to Eve? Where is she now?" Stephanie asked almost dreading.
"I lost her," Electra answered enigmatically. But Stephanie didn't ask how or what exactly Electra meant by it, because she could already see the pained anguish on Electra's face.
"That was the real reason I was leaving the Capitol." Electra confessed suddenly, bitterly, knocking back her drink harshly. "I never planned it or anything. I simply got careless. Got pregnant. But I've never regretted it, even if her father is…" Electra trailed off, eyes burning darkly. For a moment Stephanie even imagined she saw a spark of feral anger in Electra's clouded left eye.
"I'm so sorry Ellen," Stephanie began, "About Eve. I can't imagine what that must have been like to lose a child."
Electra gave a brisk nod of acknowledgement before swiftly finishing off her drink.
Stephanie couldn't help thinking that she soon would have an inkling of what it felt like to lose a child, when she entered the arena with Frenkin. She swallowed thickly, feeling tears clogging up her throat.
Stephanie scoffed, irritated at herself. She was more than aware that her generous imbibing of alcohol, coupled rather spectacularly with the turmoil raising events that night, were playing havoc with her already over-active emotions.
Electra noticed Stephanie's tight expression and trembling eyes; the sheen of barely withheld tears evident in them.
Electra couldn't help but grin, grateful for the distraction from more hurtful topics.
"I don't think I've ever met anyone that feels as much as you do Stephanie," Electra began earnestly, startling Stephanie from her far-off stare. "You just seem to feel bloody everything, and you're a real sucker for a sob story. I mean, I'm still convinced you faint all the time because of dehydration from crying so much."
Stephanie gave a watery laugh as she sniffed back the sudden tears and Electra's grin widened.
"That diagnosis certainly would have made the cure to my fainting a lot simpler, that's for sure."
Thanks to girlworthfightingfor for the review; always glad to hear you're still enjoying the story! :D