Chapter 10 – No, Don't Go

It was absolutely the worst moment of my life when I watched helplessly through a tiny window as the escape pod sped off into the distance. My blood covered hands smeared the pressurized glass as I uselessly punched my pod's door in despair. Then the erratic bio-scan feed from the retreating pod flickered out of range and I sunk to my knees numbly. I had no time to grieve as I was thrown suddenly into the ceiling of my pod as it launched; hitting my head and knocking myself out.

I awoke to the plain sight of a smooth, white ceiling. My breath caught in my throat as I started to recall what had happened. The images flashing before my eyes of knives and blood were interrupted by the soft and soothing voice of Florida. "It's okay, don't panic. You're safe here Ari."

I choked on a strangled sob at Florida's unintentionally painful words. Upon realising he'd said something wrong, he placed a warm, calming hand on my arm to try and amend the mistake. "I'm sorry Ari, I didn't meant to…"

"It's Kara," I interrupted hoarsely before I started to hyperventilate while saying, "I never got to tell him that."

Florida's hand tightened around my arm for a moment, but he gave no other indication that he'd heard me other than the sad look that passed over his face. I was thankful that he looked nothing like the person I was crying over; with dark-brown hair and eyes compared to red and blue.

He then gently placed a hand on the top of my head before saying, "I'm just going to quickly get Maine. He wanted me to get him when you woke up." I just dipped my head slightly.

Maine was there when it had happened. Just before we'd all ejected our pods.

True to his word Florida was quick; opening the door for Maine before closing it to wait outside.

"It wasn't your fault," Maine said in a tone that was his equivalent of soft and quiet.

"I could have…."

"No," he said more interrupted me with a more forceful tone. "Don't blame yourself for the actions of others."

"But when…."

"No," he interrupted again more angrily and stepped closer to me. "It was the Insurrectionist that came up behind him and slit his throat."

"If I'd just…."

"No," he growled out while stepping forward again and starting to rant. "You couldn't have reached the pod he was thrown into without dying in the explosion Arizona. And I understand that you two were already close. But he was my friend too. I've already gotten over any guilt I had about what happened. Now you have to. You're allowed to be upset. But if I see you blaming yourself again I'll punch you in the gut. Hard."

He was crude, rude and plain mean, but I could tell that Maine only wanted to help. I understood that I couldn't have done anything other than watch Nex float away into the abyss of empty space. So I had no logical reason to be guilty about what had happened aboard the Sinister; but I wasn't a logical A.I construct like Delta in the future. I was human.

For the next week I tried in vain to keep my guilt and sorrow hidden away from Maine; I ended up being punched in the stomach at least three times a day. Everyone understood that Maine couldn't really express his feelings with anything other than violence; but that didn't mean they weren't worried when they saw the large purple bruises that covered my skin. However by the end of the week we all thought of Maine as a genius because the method was somehow working. The sharp pain to the gut I now associated with my guilt meant that I avoided any feelings altogether. The real step forward didn't occur until the new Freelancer Agents arrived; along with my long-awaited, black-market holo-projectors.

I'd just initiated my third intense training scenario for the day when the new Agents had apparently walked into the observation area of the training room; I hadn't been able to greet them in the Hangar unlike the four other existing Agents, because I'd been foaming at the mouth to practise with my holo-projectors that'd arrived earlier that morning. Plus I'd quickly forgotten that they were even arriving in lieu of my new toys. So the first impression that Agents New York, Carolina, North and South Dakota, Connecticut and Washington had of me was interesting.

I was using the projectors on my armoured boots to form functional jets, as well as miniature ones on the palms of my hands to stabilise my flight. Just like Iron Man in the Marvel movies; I'd never really been a person known for their original ideas. I'd spent nearly two hours mastering the use of the tangible objects that were projected via powerful lasers. So now I raced around the training room; interchanging between short bursts of flight and sprints to conserve power, using the palm repulsors like Iron Man did; to blast away at targets with a high energy burst.

Florida was apparently the only one who had deemed it safe to approach me on the training floor once I'd finished evaporating a set of robotic targets. Probably because I'd told him about the projectors the morning after I purchased them online; wanting to share my excitement with someone else. The blue-armoured man chuckled before asking, "You having enough fun there Ari?"

"Oh yeah! I feel like I could take on the world with these puppies," I said panting slightly from my exertions.

"Haha! Well I just came down to remind you that we've got guests today," he said cheerfully before adding, "I don't blame you for forgetting however. I would have as well."

"Oh shit! Where are they now? Introductions with the Director?"

"No actually, they've already done that. They're up in the observation room shaking in their boots after your display down here."

"Oh," I stated dumbly.

"I'm just kidding Ari!" he joked, "Only the one in steel and yellow armour was shaking in their boots. Washington I think he said his name was. The rest were just extremely impressed! They want to meet you."

"Well then, I better do that then," I told him before calling out to one of the ship's A.I, "End training please F.I.L.S.S. What's my overall improvement percentage?"

"Training simulation ended," the artificial voice sounded throughout the room, "Improvement of three-hundred and sixty percent since last session."

Florida whistled appreciatively, "I wish of could get my hands on a set of those."

I laughed before cheekily adding, "They actually quite take a lot of effort to use without separating your digits from your appendages."

"Why can't you just say fingers and toes or hands and feet like a normal person," Florida sighed as we headed to the viewing room, "And I don't even want to know how you found that out considering you've still got all of yours intact."

"There's nothing normal about me Flo, you should know that by now," I quipped as we walked up the stairs and I heard the muffled voices of the Agents waiting.

"You're right of course," Florida mused, "But how about you keep the crazy down to a minimum when you meet the new guys and gals?"

"I suppose I could perhaps be bribed into behaving myself," I smirked.

"Fine. You can have my dessert tonight at dinner." I just clenched my fist in victory, eliciting another sigh from my friend.

The first words I heard from the group of new Freelancers were, "Did I just hear a mention of dessert? Is there fruit involved?"

Of course it was Wash that had said them. I smiled at him warmly after I took my helmet off, manoeuvring it to the crook of my arm, while taming my helmet-hair with my other hand. "Yes to both questions," I answered. "Agent Washington I presume?" I asked while holding out a gloved hand for him to shake.

He was momentarily flustered; I later found out that it was because he'd thought I was a man while watching my training, just like he'd done with Agent Texas in the show. Plus my smile had been overly friendly considering I'd technically only just met him and that he'd been a bit scared to meet me in the first place. He cleared his throat, shook my proffered hand and then countered with, "Correct. Agent Arizona I presume?"

I laughed amiably before clapping him hard on the shoulder and turning to greet the next in line. "Nice to meet you Ma'am," New York said in a shamelessly flirtatious voice while slowly shaking my hand. No surprise there, he'd probably even flirt with a picture of a woman, I thought amused with his antics.

York still hadn't let go of my hand when he was suddenly pushed to the side by South. "Quit hogging introduction time York. You can go back to flirting after I meet the only person on this ship who knows what the fuck they're doing," she said to him in a typically South-like fashion before quickly shaking my hand and saying, "Nice to meet you Arizona, I'm South Dakota." She's really not that bad yet. She even just kind of complimented me.

"Same to you," I laughed, "It's good to finally have some more women around here."

She laughed back and moved to the side to let her brother in. "Hi I'm North Dakota, South's older twin brother," he said in his calm voice.

"Why do you always have to add in the 'older' part North!?" South whined.

"So I garner sympathy over the fact I've had to know you longer," he joked.

"WHAT!?"

The introductions carried along in a similar fashion. It was nice to meet all of these people before the effects that the events of the future would cause. Carolina was strong and determined, yet kind and thoughtful instead of the harsh and obsessed woman she would become after Tex's arrival. Wash who was youthful and optimistic instead of the paranoid and cold man he'd become after the Epsilon incident. For the first time in a week I felt as if I had a purpose once more. I'd let down Nex, so the least I could do is make sure a similar fate didn't befall these soldiers. At least I had time before the main events of the Project Freelancer trilogy to prepare; nearly three years I estimated, although the timeline of the series was seriously messed up so it could be less.

"I'm getting the feeling I won't need gut-punch you anymore Ari," Maine said to me.

"Wait? Who's getting punched in the gut and why?" Connie asked.

"Oh nothing to concern yourself over Connecticut," Georgia the dumb idiot chipped in cheerily, "Maine's just spent the last week literally punching Arizona's overwhelming guilt and sadness out."

"What!?" several of the Freelancers chimed together in confusion. If looks could kill, the one that I gave Georgia would have vaporised him on the spot. The closest Agents to me also backed off a bit.

Realising his mistake he chuckled nervously while backing out of the room slowly, "Ahh … like I said, nothing to concern yourselves over."

In a threatening display I made two clear-but-solid swords using the holo-projectors on my hands. The green-armoured Georgia squealed like a young girl and ran out of the room in panic. I just chuckled menacingly as I deactivated the holograms. After a few moments of awkward silence Maine punched me in the arm and cleared his throat as an indication for me to explain the situation to the newbies.

Sighing with defeat I then spoke with as little emotion in my voice as possible. "Agent New Mexico was KIA last week while on a mission. I blamed myself as Team Leader and Maine got sick of my sulking. Hence the gut punches. The end."

"Do you mind me asking how he died?" North asked cautiously.

"Insurrectionist grabbed him from behind and slit his throat," I said quietly, "We never retrieved his body because he was jettisoned in an escape pod by the guy that did it."

"Did you get the guy that did it?" Wash asked.

I nodded, "Blew up with the frigate. That's what the mission was." Deciding that I'd answered enough questions about that horrible day, I headed out of the room and back down to the training floor.

Just before I exited the doors I heard North not ask but rather state, "Her and New Mexico were close."

"Yeah," Florida replied before pausing, "Very."