Omigosh, I'm so nervous about this chapter! It's a lot going on and so I hope I've hit the mark. Thankyou, thank you for the reviews! Beautiful, sweet and soooo encouraging. I love you guys!

The Journey Home

Chapter Seventeen

Bittersweet Deception

Scarlett felt as if she were floating above herself as she stood in front of Rhett. She stared at him, stunned at his cold words. For only a moment, a shadow of regret filtered across his face but he remained aloof.

"I'm sorry to say it so bluntly, but it's been my experience you only understand direct frankness. Besides, you can't honestly expect me to believe you're surprised by this. I sent word through Henry Hamilton," Rhett told her staunchly.

Gripping her fists at her side, her shock quickly turned to hot anger. It was a comfortable feeling, a familiar feeling and she let it wash over her. "How dare you!" she flung at him. "How dare you show your face here and tell me you want a divorce as if it means nothing to you!"

"Scarlett, dramatics aren't needed," he said, his face darkening. "Let's be reasonable and realistic about the situation. We both know this will never work, so let's not prolong it further."

"No!" she cried, forgetting her earlier proclamation. She threw herself on her knees next to the bed and took his hand. "Rhett, listen to me. I don't want a divorce, I don't. I want you, darling. I want us to be together."

"Scarlett, please," he frowned at her.

"No, Rhett," she gripped his hand to her chest. "I've done nothing but think of you, hoping and praying you would come and you're finally here. You'll see it will be different. I know we can be happy with each other."

"No, Scarlett," he shook his head. "It's too late."

"It's never too late," she kissed his hand fervently. "Why did you come if you don't care about me? I know you do, I know it! Just give me another chance and you'll see it can be different."

"Stop," he pulled his hand back. "Don't make a fool of yourself."

"But I know you love me," she continued with her declarations. She knew he loved her, he just forgot how it felt. She'd show him! She'd make him see he still desired her. She kissed the palm of his hand, letting him feel the softness of her lips. She stood and came over him, careful of his injuries. "Let me love you, Rhett. Let me show you I've changed," she whispered. She reached out and touched his face. She felt his body tense beneath hers as she lowered her mouth onto his.

For one breathless moment it was as if time stood still. When their lips met she nearly moaned from the pleasure it gave her to feel him, warm and alive beneath her. This was what she longed for, what she dreamt of every night. He gripped her arm with his free hand to hold her back but she persisted in moving even closer to him.

She could feel his heart pounding against her own and she knew he felt it, too. He could protest to the high heavens that he didn't want her, but this kiss proved that he still felt something for her.

She moved her lips softly over his while sliding her hands up to cup his face. The grip on her arm became firmer as did the pressure of his own lips on hers. She could feel him wavering but as the kiss went on, so did he. He was kissing her back now, reaching up from her arm to cup the back of her neck. He pulled her closer, deepening the kiss, letting his mouth respond hotly to her ministrations.

Scarlett nearly cried from the joy of this moment, but suddenly Rhett tensed as he tore his lips away and pushed her back. "No, Scarlett," he breathed jaggedly. "I won't do this."

"I know you want me, Rhett. You can't deny it, I see it in your eyes," she shook her head. She pushed herself forward again but he growled and held her in place.

"No!" he forced her to look at him. "You little fool, you can't always have your way and you're not getting it this time. Yes, I desire you but I will not take you because you would not understand why. You would think it was because I love you and I don't. It wouldn't change anything and in the end the result would be the same."

"That's not true," she shook her head but his black eyes snapped coldly at her.

"Yes, Scarlett it is true. I assure you I could rut with you like an animal and walk away unscathed but you would not. You would want more and it would never be more than what it is. Emotionally, I'm done with you and soon enough the physical wouldn't be sufficient. So, pray don't continue with your seductress act when in the end it will only cause you undue humiliation."

Scarlett recoiled from his crude words. She shook her head in frustration as the words spilled from her vehemently. "But, Rhett, I know you love me! Why else would you have come?"

"Your simplicity never ceases to amaze me, Scarlett," he replied caustically. "I came because Ashley Wilkes came to visit me and told me of your trouble with Jonas Wilkerson. I felt it was one last obligatory offer on my part to rid you of any more trouble from him and..." he paused for a moment. "And, to bring the divorce papers myself for you to sign."

Scarlett could only stare at him. She stood from the bed and stepped back, gripping her stomach as she did.

"I knew if I didn't come in person, you would never sign. However, as I was robbed and all of possessions taken, so were the papers. It shouldn't take long for Henry Hamilton to mail a new set and then we can move ahead with our respective lives."

As she looked at him, his features hard… impassive… bitter, she began to tremble. "You don't mean that, Rhett. You can't mean what you're saying, I won't believe it."

"My dear, you've never believed anything unless it was shoved under your pretty little nose. Believe me or don't, I no longer want you or need you. As I told you on the day I left you, I want peace and that is one thing I can never have with you."

"Charlatan!" she breathed heavily. "You hateful, mean skunk! I can't believe I threw myself at you!"

"You're intentions always were a little misguided and I see that has not changed," he drawled pitilessly.

"How can you do this to me? To ME? Have I sunk so low in your eyes that you can't even show me the smallest kindness?"

"I am being kind," he said brashly. "I am trying to tell you in the only way I know how that I don't love you but as usual, you won't listen to anything you don't want to hear. You think by shutting it out that it will magically disappear, well this won't disappear, Scarlett. You can't hide your eyes from this truth."

Swallowing hard, Scarlett covered her mouth with her hand as nausea gripped her fiercely. She was going to be sick. She flung herself toward the door and raced for the stairs. She was beyond shame, beyond humiliation as she made her way outside. She was hurt and sick inside at Rhett's callous and uncaring words. She, Scarlett O'Hara, mistress of Tara was disgraced beyond words by the man she loved. It was more than she could take.

She fell against the tree in the arbor and grabbed her stomach, getting sick all over the ground. Hot, salty tears joined with it and she didn't even care how it looked at the moment. She hated him! Yes, she hated him as much as she loved him now! He was hateful and she wished she could hurt him like he had hurt her.

When she was finished, she wearily crawled away from the tree to a nearby bush where she covered her face with her hands and tried to compose herself. The tears still came unbidden and she hated herself for her own weakness. She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and it startled her from her grieving. Gasping, she looked up to see Eli Barrett staring down at her, sympathy and concern etched on his handsome face.

"What are you doing?" she jerked back from him. Her humiliation was complete for it didn't take much to surmise what had happened. She was totally aware of how she must have looked in front of him. Her hair askew, her face tear stained and her dress rumpled. She looked low and beaten and worse, she looked cowardly hiding away in the bushes like a scared child. She glared at him embarrassed to be seen in such a way.

"I saw you run back here and I just wanted to make sure you were alright. But, I can see that is not the case."

"I'm just fine," she snapped and struggled to stand. "I don't need anything from anyone and that includes you. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

Eli didn't respond, he only continued to look concerned for her. "Why don't you let me help you in the house?"

"No!" she replied and finally found her footing. "I want to be alone. I won't have anyone pointing fingers at me. It's bad enough you've seen me."

"You don't have to be alone. I'm a good ear if you need it," he said quietly.

"So you can gloat?" she flung at him. "As if I would give you the satisfaction."

Eli hooked his hands on his hips and released a small breath. "I wouldn't do that. I can see you're upset and I'm only offering a friendly ear. Nothing more, nothing less."

Scarlett wiped at the drying tears on her face and pushed back her hair. "You don't understand. I can't talk about it. I don't want to, it's… it's…" her voice trailed off as her throat suddenly felt hot and tight, the taste of bitter vile still present.

"I can see that," he nodded understandingly. "Why don't we take a walk, just a walk and you can gather your wits and no one can see you. You don't have to talk to me if you don't want. I'm fine with just seeing the sights of your fine plantation."

Stiffly, Scarlett turned from him. She didn't know how to even respond to him. No one had ever offered her anything like this and now when she needed comfort more than ever, here was someone, a perfect stranger, offering that to her. It was a strange feeling and yet… and yet, the idea of going back into that house now was almost suffocating. She couldn't do it, she just couldn't.

She needed time to lick her wounds, for they were gaping and torn and exposed. Oh yes, Rhett had landed his mark and she could feel every sting and ache of his hateful words on her heart. Vulnerability was foreign to her, but she found herself looking at Eli and she knew he saw it. His features softened and he offered his arm to her.

"Why don't you show me Tara, Mrs. Butler? I'm sure it's a lovely place to see this time of year."

Rhett heard Scarlett's hurried footsteps running down the stairs and he closed his eyes in harsh frustration. He pinched the bridge of his nose and then ran his hand down his face to rub away the sick feeling he was experiencing.

He could still see her pale and horrified face staring at him as if he had taken a saber and sliced her to ribbons. It couldn't have been much different if he had, he thought bitterly. He had only wanted to make her see he couldn't be swayed by her but what he had done was unforgivable, even for him.

He had thought Scarlett incapable of those kinds of feelings, but it was clearly evident she did have them and he had taken them and tore them to shreds. Wasn't that what he wanted to do? Wasn't that his mission by coming here? Yes, he answered himself, but why did he now feel like a wretched bastard?

The truth was, Rhett was angry with himself because he had nearly given in to her when she had kissed him. Was there ever a woman who tasted like her, who could do to him what she did? He hated himself for being so weak and foolish after he had promised himself time and time again he didn't care about her. One touch from her and he lost his head and would have continued if he hadn't have caught himself in time.

With a sudden sound, the door swung open and Mammy came in, scowling like a scolded puppy. She stared at him, her black eyes snapping angrily and lips pursed out more than usual. "Mista Rhett, what you gwine and done to Miss Scahlett?" she demanded without pretense. "She done run outta here like she was buhnin' up."

Rhett tried to adjust himself but the wrappings were tight around him and he couldn't move freely. "That's between us, Mammy."

"Yes, suh it shore is, but I's gwine to step in now and have my say 'bout it. You done come here lak Miss Scahlett was hopin' and I's hopin' you would change yo mind 'bout stayin' wid huh. You's got to stop dis foolishness and make it right, Mistah Rhett. You need huh and she need you and dat ain't nuthin' you can do to change dat."

"It's not that easy, Mammy. Scarlett and I…," he shook his head slowly. "We don't fit anymore. I tried to make it work but it's too late for that."

"Naw suh, you done tole yo'self dat to make it easy, but yo' can't hide from it f'ever. Miss Scahlett the onliest woman you eva gwine love."

Rhett turned his head away from her and sighed tensely. Mammy just didn't understand.

"I done watched you and Miss Scahlett hut each odder bad, but I know deep down, dere's love 'tween you. I's old and seen lot and maybe it ain't my place, but I ain't neva seen two folks more bedda or wuse for each odder than you and huh and dat's da truf of it."

"I don't need her and she doesn't need me," he said firmly.

"You wrong 'bout dat, Mista Rhett. Miss Scahlett don' like to let on, but she need you. She need you more now den eva."

Mammy walked to the side of the bed where two figures caught her eye out of the window. She looked closer and saw Scarlett and Eli walking away from the house. She was holding his arm and he was holding onto her like she was a piece of china. Frowning down at them, she shook her head. She didn't like him moving in where he wasn't wanted. She cut her eyes to Rhett who was lying still and unmoving, just like his pride.

Rhett caught the expression on Mammy's face and wondered what she had seen from the window. Was it Scarlett? Did he really want to know? Wouldn't it be moot point to check on her well-being when it was his hurtful actions that had drove her out of here in the first place?

Torn between wanting to leave it be and wanting to check on her, Rhett finally pulled himself from the bed, standing on unsteady feet. Grabbing the poster of the footboard to balance himself, he moved slowly toward Mammy, being careful of his painful ribs, to stand next to her.

She glared pointedly at him, not even showing surprise that he had gotten up. She stepped back and let him look down at Scarlett and Eli walking away together.

He frowned as he saw Scarlett being led by the arm of a strange man dressed in black. He peered closer and looked sharply over at Mammy, glowering with unsettling jealousy. "Who is that man and why is he holding onto my wife?"