A/N : I'm just gonna say a quick thanks to Dazzled Eyes22 and Melissa for working on this story and let you move on to the chapter... Because I'm pretty sure you would have barely skimmed through this note if it'd been longer, everyone wants THE TALK!

So, here it is... Enjoy ;) And don't forget to review when you're done!

CHAPTER 6

For the first time in my life, I stood in front of the mirror for ten minutes, deep in thought as I stared at my reflection, looking it over carefully from the top of my head to my feet. I had spent the past ten minutes in that very same position, fretting over the untamable state of my hair.

After another couple of texts in the morning, Bella and I had decided to meet at her dorm, though the location was less than ideal for the much needed privacy for this discussion. Her truck had not made it through the accident and the cost of repairs would have been more than the rusty, old thing was worth. She'd opted for a temporary replacement from the insurance company, but I didn't want her driving all the way to my place and back alone in the dark so soon after the accident. Of course, that stubborn, independent girl wouldn't even hear of me picking her up and dropping her off.

Plus, the slight edge in her voice when she refused to do this at my place alerted me to the fact that she'd probably be more comfortable in familiar surroundings and so, I let the matter drop.

I did put my foot down over buying dinner, though. I phoned in and placed the order at a restaurant in my locality, which was known especially for its healthier food and collected it on my way to Bella's dorm.

Before I knew it, I found myself standing in front of the apartment-like complex. Checking Bella's text to make sure I had the right address, I walked ahead and climbed a flight of stairs to reach the second floor, where Bella and Alice stayed.

I adjusted my grip on the bags in my hands, resisting the urge to run my fingers through my hair as I always did when I was nervous. Without giving myself a chance to freak out any more, I raised my hand and quickly knocked on the door.

I could feel the pounding rhythm of my heart as I heard shuffling on the other side. I held my breath as the door opened, just a sliver first and then fully, and there she was.

In a pair of skin tight black jeans paired with some sort of a frilly red blouse, her lips shimmering the lightest of pinks, her dark hair flowing in loose waves down to her waist, her eyes wide and glowing with anticipation and the most beautiful shade of her natural rosy blush across her cheekbones, she was the perfect combination of innocence and sultriness.

I stared at her, just drinking in the beauty in her simplicity with my mouth agape until she cleared her throat once, inviting me in.

"You, uh, you look beautiful," I stammered, praying that she'd not get uncomfortable by the compliment that I couldn't help but give.

"Thank you," she said in the softest of voices, a blush spreading farther over her delicate skin. It was a relief to see that the bruises from the accident that'd marred her beautiful face were almost gone.

I looked around the room, a common living room with a couch, a coffee table and a large bookcase at one end and a kitchen with a two-seater dining table at the other. To the left was a narrow hallway, at the end of which were three doors. The flooring was covered by rich, brown rugs and thick, maroon curtains covered up the windows.

"Here, let me take that," Bella said, picking the bags out of my hands and placing them on a table while I took off my heavy jacket.

"I know it's not much of a Christmas dinner, but I got you a sandwich and some salad, I hope that's okay. With the surgery, I didn't want to get something too greasy and I know this place, the food is always very hygienic and safe," I rambled until she turned away from the bag and looked at me.

The feeling that coursed through me when I saw that her lips had stretched into a small, but genuine smile was pure, undiluted joy. It was the first one I'd gotten from her since she'd opened her eyes in the hospital and I cherished it.

"It's fine, Edward. I was sold when I pulled out the BLT. I didn't plan on having something fancy until my next check-up anyway."

"Loads of ketchup, no mustard. Just the way you like it." I smiled back. "Oh, and there's ginger ale in there too."

This time, I was gifted with a much wider smile before she turned back and started plating the food.

I was glancing at the two photo frames placed on the table when she spoke again. The hesitancy in her voice this time was clear as day and my own anxiety sky rocketed in response.

"I, um, I- I know you're here to talk, but maybe, we could have dinner first? Watch a movie?" she stammered. "Nana and I… we'd always watch Christmas movies on the eve and I've continued our tradition until now."

I walked up to her, gently turning her around by the shoulders and gazed into her nervous eyes. "I'd be honored to share that tradition with you, Bella."

It was true. I was amazed and awed and so very grateful about the fact that she'd allowed me a chance to explain to her the reasons behind my hurtful actions towards her in Forks and here she was, sharing another piece of her, one that was so close to her heart, with me.

A little bit more relaxed for the time being, we settled down on the couch with our food and drinks as Bella put on the TV and pulled out a recording of A Christmas Carol.

The next two hours passed comfortably as we lost our selves in Mr. Scrooge's life, or rather, Bella lost herself in the movie while I watched her, entranced by her smiles, her gasps, her sniffles. I imagined her as a little girl, sitting with her Nana, wide-eyed and innocent, delighting in the miracles of Christmas as they watched the films together. It was definitely something that would never get old.

A couple of times, Bella glanced at me and met my eyes, but she didn't say anything, just averted her gaze back to the screen quickly.

Sitting with her like this took me back in time to the summer we spent together, when she freed me from the troubles that had plagued me ever since my divorce. I longed for that time when I had her unbridled friendship and more than anything, I wanted it back.

Time passed much too quickly for my liking, and I was startled out of my reverie when Bella turned off the TV and went into the kitchen to put away the dishes. I did the same, washing my hands at the sink and slowly made my way back to the couch. Bella joined me a minute later.

Few moments passed as we sat there is awkward silence, not knowing where to start, what to say. Taking a deep breath, I turned to her. She was sitting stiffly, back straight, her slender fingers anxiously picking at the hem of her blouse.

"Bella," I started, then paused. "I'm sorry." I guess that was as good a starting point as any.

Slowly, she turned towards me, her expression open, though her eyes held apprehension. She didn't say anything, just pulled up her legs onto the couch, tucking them under herself and looked at me intently, expectantly.

She wanted to hear what I had to say first. Fair enough, I had her attention. I started talking.

"When I came to Forks, I-I was lost, Bella. All my life, I'd seen my parents enjoy a beautiful, loving relationship. They're crazier for each other today than they were on their wedding day. Countless times, I've heard my Dad say that he's fallen more and more in love with her every day they've spent together. Those were the ideals I grew up with. In my mind, marriage was synonymous with forever."

I paused, looking down at my hands.

"When Irina… When she cheated on me, it was as if my whole world crumbled right before my eyes. And the worst part was, that the…the fucking hurt, the anger I felt towards her was tinged with the awareness that I wasn't as shocked at the demise of my marriage as I should have been. It was only when I was filing for divorce that I realized that I never should have married Irina in the first place. I wanted what my parents had so badly, that I didn't stop to consider that Irina and I were too different. It hurt to realize that I just overlooked it because of the rose colored glasses I saw our relationship through at that time.

"And then…" I faced her. "You walked into my life. As cheesy as it sounds, trust me when I say that you were the only bright spot in the dull grey of my life. Seeing you every day, talking to you, laughing with you, teaching you… I didn't even realize how you'd pieced me back together bit by bit, didn't realize how much I'd begun to look forward to the mornings to get a chance to see you."

Bella was still silent, giving me no indication about her thoughts, but her eyes roamed over my face as I talked and I wondered if she could gauge my honesty and the depth of my feelings for her.

Taking a deep breath, I worked up the courage to move on to the hardest part.

"That day in the meadow, I… Everything you told me about yourself, your Nana, your goal in life… I was so in awe of you, Bella. Even in the face of loss, you were so… strong, determined and I wished that I could be like you. I was-"

"So, that's all it was?" she interrupted, and the sadness in her voice ripped right through my core. "You kissed me because, what, you admired me?"

I frowned. "No, no, Bella. That's not-" I shook my head, raking a frustrated hand through my hair.

I couldn't afford to fuck this up.

Honestly and sincerely, I reminded myself.

"I kissed you that day because-" I sighed. "I kissed you because the sight of you in that meadow, with your tear-stained cheeks, your hair shining with just a tinge of red in the sunlight and your shimmering, dark eyes as you shared a little piece of your soul with me, was the most breathtaking one I'd ever seen."

I heard her sharp intake of breath at my truthful words, but I kept going. "The feelings that you invoked in me in that one month's time were deeper than what I'd felt for Irina for the duration of our marriage and I know, I know, that sounds cold of me, but I promised myself I'd be completely honest with you. You've given me a chance, and I have no intention of wasting it." My voice, my eyes, my heart pleaded with her to understand. I couldn't tell her I loved her, not yet. I had yet to earn that opportunity, but I was trying my best to assure her of my affection.

"I just… I just wasn't ready, Bella. I wasn't ready to accept my feelings for you. Irina's betrayal was still fresh in my mind, and the fact that you were in high school…" I shook my head. "I couldn't see any way that it would work."

"That does not give you the right to kiss me and then run away without even talking to me, Edward!" she snapped, eyes blazing and I winced. "Do you want to know what I was thinking when you left me alone in the meadow? I was thinking that I'd made such a big fool of myself by kissing you like that. I was embarrassed as hell that I'd practically thrown myself at you when you did not want any part of me and clearly regretted what had happened between us." By the end of her statement, the fury in her eyes melted away, leaving behind raw sadness. "I've spent every single day since then believing that you didn't want me," she whispered. A lone tear slipped out from her eye and she wiped it away roughly.

"No, Bella," I pleaded, reaching out to take her hand. "That could not be further from the truth. Please, I know I've hurt you but for once, but try to believe me when I say that I've cared for you since the day I met you and it was in your meadow that I realized how much I wanted you. I just thought that I'd be nothing but a hindrance in your life, tying you down, preventing you from achieving everything you'd always wanted. I ran away for the very reason that I wanted you far too much for your own good."

Dubious eyes looked at me through a thin sheen of moisture. "You didn't regret kissing me?"

"I did," I told her honestly, wiping away the lone tear that trickled down her cheek. "But only because I knew at that time, I couldn't give you the relationship that you deserved and I had no right to lead you on like that."

"At that time?" she echoed. "And now?"

I breathed deeply. "Now, I want nothing more than to be with you. You deserve the world, Bella and I want to be the one to give it to you, if you'll let me."

Her lower lip trembled before she bit down on it, her eyes falling on our joined hands, where I'd been subconsciously stroking her knuckles.

Letting out a shaky breath, she looked at me again. "I don't know. I feel like I don't know anything anymore. Everything I've believed in the past year, you're telling me I had it all wrong and yet… What has changed, Edward? Yes, I'm here in New York now, but I'll always be fifteen years younger than you. If that is something that bothers you, then what's the point of trying to do this when someday something will set you off and-" she broke off, shaking her head sadly. "I won't be able to bear it again."

"I came too close to losing you forever, Bella, that's what has changed. It sounds horrible that something so drastic had to happen to force me to introspect, but it's true," I admitted. "When you were in the OR, all I could think was how fucking stupid I'd been to let you go. All those reasons that had sounded so damn reasonable to me once upon a time now seemed… insignificant."

I paused for a moment.

"You were seventeen, Bella. A high school student. I-I'll admit that I was scared. I was afraid of what everyone would think. Your Dad would definitely not have approved of you getting involved with a 32 year old man. I felt like the universe was working against us." I looked down at my hands. "And mostly, I didn't even think that your feelings for me, if you had any, would… well, last. I thought it was probably a teenage crush, and when you'd get over it, you'd want nothing more to do with me. I didn't have the courage to face that scenario." I met her gaze again. "Now that I've found you again, I can't help but think that fate has somehow brought you back in my life and this time, I can't just let you go. I'll fight for you, to show you that I'm worthy of you. You're perfect to me the way you are, nothing else matters. Not age, distance, nothing. I understand better now that nothing worth having in life comes easy. We have to work for it and I'm willing to do that."

"I'm scared," she whispered. "I'm scared to let you in. I'm scared to trust you."

"I know," I said, past the sudden, painful lump in my throat. "I don't deserve your trust. But, I'm asking, no, begging for the chance to earn it, Bella. You don't have to make me any promises. Let's just spend some time together, get to know each other all over again. That's all I'm asking for." I paused, lost in thought for a few seconds. "How about this? This week... Will you spend it with me? If, by then end of it, you want nothing to do with me, then I'll never bother you again."

The silence that followed my heartfelt plea was unnerving to say the least. I'd done my part, laid my heart out for her to see and now, it was up to her. If she asked me to get out of her place right now, it wouldn't be less than what I deserved. But, selfish as I was, I wanted that second chance. I wanted to show her that I could be good enough for her, for her friendship, for her love.

I watched her face as she mulled it over, but her eyes were closed, so I had no way to predict what was going on in her mind.

Finally, finally, she looked up at me, the set of her brow and her straightened shoulders clearly showed that she'd made her decision.

I waited with a pounding heart and bated breath to find out what it was.

A/N: Did you see the teaser I posted for this chapter on FB? I'll do one for the next chapter too, maybe Wednesday... so keep an eye out if you want it ;)

So...yeah. *runs and hides*