Darcy Lewis - Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. or How I got a High Paying Government Job without even Trying

AN – At this point I'm going to switch perspective to first person for the most part. Third person perspective will still be used in places, but will mostly be for background and exposition. Also, as far as certain magical abilities go, I'm going to making some changes to how they work, most notably apparition. In this story, apparition requires knowledge of both your planned destination, and of your current location. This is to explain why Darcy won't immediately attempt to apparate back to Grimmauld place. Without knowing where she currently is, she doesn't know which direction to apparate in.

Chapter 3: New Beginnings or How to remain calm while Underdressed

Upon awakening, the first thing Darcy noticed was that her mouth tasted and felt like she had just eaten the result of angry sex between an ashtray and a used box of kitty litter. The second thing she noticed was that is seemed to be around midnight. The third thing she noticed was that she was no longer sitting on her comfortable, reclining and magically vibrating chair, next to her lovely warm fire, in her cosy little sitting room at number 12 Grimmauld Place, rather she appeared to be an alley way in the inner city somewhere. The fourth thing Darcy noticed was that she was completely naked. It was at this point Darcy began to hyperventilate.

"Ok, Darcy get a hold of yourself" I thought frantically to myself. "Need to stay calm and figure things out".

"Breathe, Darcy, deep breaths, in…out…in…out…" After a few deep breaths I managed to get a hold of myself, and started taking stock of the situation.

First thing, I'm naked. Not exactly a good thing, considering I seem to be in the middle of the inner city. Secondly, I have serious headache, and my mouth tastes like a herd of hippogriffs' used it as a toilet. Conclusion, I got extremely drunk last night. That makes sense…right?

"Except, no matter how drunk I might have gotten, I would remember drinking wouldn't I? Also I don't drink, not since that time in sixth year when I got drunk and made out with Ginny Weasley. EWW, do not want to think about that, she was creepy as hell. Also I don't keep any alcohol as home, so me getting drunk doesn't make sense. So what the hell happened?"

Ok, brain, we can figure this out. What is the last thing I can remember? Let's see, I was sitting at home, reading, as per usual. I saw a spell written in the margins next to the section about alternate realities, and like the smart, logical, forward thinking person I am, I tried it…shit.

This is why I should really listen to Hermione more. She always warned me about testing unknown spells and this is what happens when I ignore her. She is never going to let me live this down…of course what she doesn't know won't hurt her.

Of course her knowing or not knowing is something of a moot point if I can't get home in one piece, so first things first, I need clothes.

Glancing around the alley I had found myself awakening in, I noticed that the building to the right of me had a door way opening on to the alley, and seemed to be a store of some kind. As I was naked I was not willing to walk around to the front of the store to find out what kind, but I could only hope it was a store that sold clothing of some kind.

I made my way to the door and reached for the wand holster I keep on my right arm at all times, only to find myself grasping at nothing. This was the moment I really started panicking.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, where's my wand, where's my wand?" My mind raced as I frantically patted my body down hoping to feel my wand in a non-existent pocket. "WAIT! Maybe I dropped it! Come on, where are you? Here, wandy, wandy, wandy! Stop it Darcy, of course it's not going to answer you, it's an inanimate object, it's not like it can hear you…unless it can, and isn't responding because I'm not using its name" It was at this point I realised I probably spent too much time with Luna, and more importantly it was at this point I realised my wand was nowhere in the area.

"Ok, I'm naked, in the city, with no wand, no way of contacting anyone, and no idea where I am, still could be wor-SHUT UP BRAIN DON'T FINISH THAT SENTENCE, THINKING THAT IS SURE TO MAKE THINGS WORSE!"

I realised then that I need to stop getting distracted and get back to finding a way out of the situation I was, and the first step, was clothes. I went back to the door and pushed on it experimentally hoping it would be unlocked, and to my enormous lack of surprise, it wasn't. However there really didn't seem to be a lot else I could do at that point other then keep pushing on the door and hoping for the best.

"Come on door, open up, please, please, please! I'll be your friend if you do! Come on, OPEN UP!" With a grunt of surprise I felt my magic well up inside me and flow down through my hands and into the door, which suddenly fell open. Unfortunately, I was leaning all my weight on it and I fell right with it, landing in an undignified, though admittedly rather attractive (in my incredibly humble opinion at least) pile on the floor.

"Well not my most dignified entrance…" I muttered to myself as pulled myself up from the floor. Glancing around I noticed I was in an unlit hallway, with several doors leading off it. "Ok, first things first, need to make sure there are no cameras around, so how would I find that out…" Making my way along the hallway I checked what was on each doorway, seeing bathroom, break room, storage room, show room, and finally, office.

"Bingo," I whispered triumphantly, before slapping myself in reprimand for uttering such a cheesy sounding word. Grabbing the door knob, I found once again to my complete lack of surprise, that the door was locked, but rather than panicking I simply tried to repeat what I did the first time. Closing my eyes I focused on finding the magic with in me, searching deep inside for the well from which it sprung forth. Finding a warm feeling centred in my gut I tried to draw it up and through my arm into the door knob. A loud click of a lock disengaging signalled my success. "Hmm, seems wandless magic isn't so hard to do after all, I'll have to practice with that." I mused to myself, before entering the office and looking around. The office looked like what I assumed the office of any store would look like, small and cluttered. A beaten up looking desk stoop in one corner with a surprisingly new looking computer on it. Going over to it I found, to my immense relief that the computer was turned on, and the security feed was minimised. Checking it I found myself viewing the show room floor, and to my delight found that it was in fact a clothing store. Checking I realised there was no way I could avoid being spotted by the cameras in the store and it required a password to turn them off, however neither the hallway nor the storage room had cameras in them. With a plan in mind I started to make my way out of the office, before stopping at the door, and glancing speculatively at the desk. Shrugging, I made my way back to it, opening the drawers and rifling through for anything useful. While I didn't find a key for the storage room I did find a small lockbox. Concentrating, I once again sent a small pulse of magic out my hand and into the box causing the lock to slip and the box to open a crack.

"That seems to get easier each time I do it" I thought to myself before opening the box wide and gasping at what was inside. Of course I wasn't shocked by the amount of money, because frankly, there wasn't much of, only a few hundred dollars in twenties and fifties. No, what shocked be was that the money was in dollars. Not pounds. Not euros. Dollars, as in American Dollars.

"Now, why would a store in England have American money in it…unless I'm not in England anymore? Fuck."

AN – Was going to continue on but this seemed like a good place to end the chapter. Darcy has discovered she can perform some minor wandless magic, and realised she may not be in England anymore.