We ended up on our way to my home town, Bradford. I wanted to take Lorraine away somewhere, where she could be at peace. I also wanted her to see were I was from, meet my parents. I hadn't told her we were staying with my parents, which I should have. I thought if I had told her, she would have freaked out and refused to accompany me. I kept it hush and booked our first night there in a hotel, I would tell her then I thought. I was driving us all the way there, she looked drained and pale. Her blonde locks blowing in the wind, the breeze from the window warm on our faces. She rolled down the window further, her arm hanging out of it. It was as if she was pretending to have wings and was flying. The sun was shining, it hit her face beautifully, I was admiring her features. The light hit her jaw, so you could see the perfect outline of it. I loved the shape of her face, it was soft, yet the perfect shape, visible. It went out at the cheeks, then in at the chin, it was cute. Mine was stronger, more masculine, square like. She always complimented me on the way it sat, she always liked to run her fingers along it. I liked it when Lorraine was like that, it's a side no one else gets to see, no one knew her like me. My hands gripped the steering wheel as she turned to look at me, her beauty literally taking my breath away.
She smiled, I love her smile, it was gorgeous. Lorraine is a confident woman, she is a strong woman, but she didn't believe she was beautiful. I found that hard to believe, there are such things as mirrors. Every time I told her, she looked as though I didn't mean it, I mean every word I say; to anyone. I love her, I've never felt this way about any other. I can't imagine loving another, loving someone other than Lorraine. Her name when said from my own mouth, gave me tingles down the spine. We were an hour away, we left really early in the morning. It was over four hours from Greenock to Bradford, West Yorkshire. We left at 9am and it was now 12pm. I could feel the feeling in my but going, I needed to sit somewhere other than my car. Lorraine was bound to be hungry, I hadn't seen her eat properly in a while, maybe this trip would ease her mind and get a good meal down her.
"Hey you wanna stop off somewhere to eat?" I asked, cutting the silence.
"Sure, I'm quite hungry to be honest" the first words she had spoken for about an hour, but our silence wasn't awkward; it felt normal. I smiled at her, her face so innocent looking, gosh she's beautiful. I wanted to kiss her, in that moment, but I had to keep my eyes on the road. Plenty of time for that I thought. We were now at Skipton, to get something to eat. There was a little café called The Three Sheep Tea Room. It was a sweet little place, it was decorated cream on the outside, with it's name in black written above the window. They had chairs out as it was a lovely day, there were wicker seats with red as white cushions. It was such a lovely place, I took a photo of it. Lorraine looked at me weirdly, then laughed.
"Why did you take a picture Miss Boston?" She joked
"I like to look back on the memories" I had loads of photo albums at home, I wanted Lorraine to be part of them.
"Come on, I'm starving" Lorraine started to become eager to get in and order. She held my hand and pulled me closer to the door, it was weird, she never held my hand in Greenock. Maybe she was scared as people knew her around there, but here nobody had the faintest idea. I wished she could be at ease with me in Greenock, but this did feel amazing.
"Hello ladies, what would you like?" An older woman stood behind the counter, her warm smile and apron made me feel at home.
"Lorraine?" I asked Lorraine to go first
"Can I have a pot of tea for two and a tuna sandwich please" she sounded so posh, even though she had a cockney accent. I looked over at her smiling, then turned to the woman.
"I'll have a cheese and tomato sandwich please" the thought of it being fresh and homemade excited me, yes I'm daft at times. We sat outside, why waste a nice day sat indoors. I sat opposite Lorraine, her hand was still attached to mine, the perfect temperature. She had the slimmest fingers and her hands were also soft, different from a man's. I had been with men, it was only about five years ago I came out and knew who I was. I knew the way I felt about women, I had always had thoughts. The way their lips were tinted naturally pink and the way their curves went in and out. I didn't realise I felt more for women as I'd never been with one. I thought the way I felt about guys was normal until I had my best friend stay. One thing led to another. She wanted to experiment, but I ended up liking the way I felt, it felt so natural and different to a man. I had never gotten that aroused with a man, yet when I kissed and touched Lizzy, I felt tingly; I felt on top of the world. That's when I knew for certain, it took me a long time to figure out who I actually was. I mean being in the army was tough and takes it's toll on anyone, but even there I had thoughts of women and the women did look hot in the uniform. I was always into sports and was more boyish than my class mates. When I was younger people would say 'oh isn't he a handsome one' I liked my trousers and now I liked my jeans and blazers. It's weird to think I used to date men, even though I knew in my heart I was gay. I'm glad the whole best friend thing happened. I mean it wasn't exactly a teenage experiment, we were two grown women, yet I'm glad she had that moment of lesbianism curiosity. I came back to reality and our tea, along with out sandwiches had arrived.
"Yours looks nice" Lorraine peering over at my plate.
"Want to try some?" I offered, she was licking her lips at the sight of them.
"I've got my own, but yeah haha" she had perked up already, probably due to the fact she didn't have to worry about anything. I wanted to make her feel like that, wherever we were.
"Here you go" I tore off a piece and passed it to her, she didn't lift her hands though and leant in to take it from my hand with her mouth. Two elderly women were looking over, probably discussing us. She didn't care if anyone saw us, that's when I knew she was happy to be seen with me, instead of being ashamed.
"Fuck they're good sandwiches" she sat elegantly chomping on a bit of my sandwich, no pun intended.
"Lorraine. Do you want to swap?"
"Do you mind?" Of course I didn't mind, I offered.
"No gorgeous, I don't mind" calling her gorgeous just felt normal in that moment.
"Thank you. Gorgeous" she had picked up on me calling her gorgeous and mocked me. She meant no harm, Lorraine was so sarcastic at times, but it kind of turned me on. Her sarcasm, would come across really sexy at times. Like she was kind of seducing me with words, even kissing her made me feel things; the kind you feel in the bedroom.
"Hey, can we look around?" She sounded like an excited child asking for my permission.
"Lorraine, of course we can. We can do whatever you want, I'm doing this all for you" she looked at me, her eyes filling, but she bit on her lip and held down the tears. I had a feeling she'd never been told anything like that, she was with Brooklyn, but she told me everything about them. They loved each other, but could never be seen with one another and Lorraine always felt guilty; that was not a relationship, not to me anyway. I wanted to make her feel like a queen, she was as beautiful as one.

We got back into my car and I had to say something, the fact I hadn't told her about meeting my parents, was bugging me.
"Hey Lorraine, you know I booked us into a hotel, well.." I then trailed off
"Yes. Don't tell me there's something wrong with it" she was completely oblivious and that very fact made me feel bad.
"Look, it's for one night and we're staying with my parents" I blurted it out, fast and breathless.
"You're joking right? Nikki!" She looked worried, I would have been too. Meeting the parents was a whole new ball park, I felt so bad.
"Look, if you don't want to stay there, I understand. I thought it would be nice and I can always book more nights at the hotel" I dreaded if she was to be angry at me, I didn't do it to make her feel uncomfortable.
"No! No, lets do it. I want to meet them, but we might as well go straight there" her smile so wide, teeth gleaming. She then kissed me softly on the lips, one kiss turned into many more. We didn't look around in the end.
"Ok, we better get going then" I pulled away, even though I could have stayed there forever.
"Ok" she smiled at me again. I called my parents and told them we'd be a day early, maybe she wanted to get it over and done with.
We drove on to Bradford, I hadn't been home for a long time, the parents were getting excited about seeing us both. I imagined they'd already have made cakes and banners to put up in the door frames. My parents have always been supportive and my dad always treated me like the son he never had. He was into sports like me and he was proud when I got into the army. My mum was a typical mum, smothering and the most caring person I knew. Both being in their fifties, they had a nice house, it was an old house. We had lived there all my life, I wanted to let Lorraine into my world for a changed.

We were here, Bodmin Avenue. My parents had a three bedroom semi-detached house, with a garden. There was a pebble drive way and a garage attached to the house. I parked in the drive way as their car was in the garage, as they knew we were coming. I stepped out and looked up to the window where my bedroom used to be. I did love being home; home is home after all.
"Ready?" I asked Lorraine, she looked petrified, as was I. I didn't know what my parents would think of her.
"Ready as I'll ever be" we linked arms and I knocked on the door.
"Love!" Mum answered and that was the first thing that came out of her mouth. She grabbed me and kissed me all over, as though I was ten.
"Mum! Blimey I'm 38!"
"Yes, but don't you look good for it" I laughed at her words, looking at Lorraine to make sure she was ok.
"This must be Lorraine. You're a pretty thing, Nikki she's a pretty thing" now Lorraine was laughing at my mum's words.
"Yes, now are we going to stand in the doorway forever?" Being around my parents brought my accent out.
"Come in my loves, tea anyone?" Here comes the tea and cake I thought.
"Yes please Mrs Boston" Lorraine being so polite, it was weird seeing her like that.
"Love, call me Rose" my mum smiled at Lorraine, her warm grin the same as I remembered.
"Go in, sit down!" We did as my mum told us, my dad wasn't in for some odd reason.
"Where's dad?" Asking mum as she brought tea in.
"He popped out to get some more milk love" I couldn't wait I see him, he was one of the reasons I carried on, the army took it's toll on me and he helped me get through.

"So Lorraine how's she been treating you" mum was about to embarrass me.
"Well, thank you Mrs.. Rose" I just hoped they'd get on, mum and dad haven't really been introduced to any of the women I had dated. Some men I brought back, but all the women I dated, had never been this serious; well I hadn't dated many women.
"That'll be your father" the door creaked open and dad had arrived with milk. He was soon sitting with us in the living room.
"I heard on the news, that gay marriage is legal now" there she goes again, Lorraine choking on her tea.
"Rose! I'm sure they have better things to worry about" my dad saving the day as usual.
I loved the way they were together, they had been married years. I wanted that, I wanted someone to settle down with and have kids with.
"Well it would be nice, you're 38 now love" oh my goodness, I could feel myself going red in the cheeks.
"To be honest Rose, your daughter would make a fine wife" Lorraine's words shocking the life out of me, she really did seem different. I looked at her, mouth open.
"Darling shut your mouth, it's not attractive" my dad now rolling his eyes at mum, they were comedic together, especially when they got going.
"Nik, gimme your bags and I will take them to your room" Dad offering, he was the strong manly type, tattoos on his arms. Mum and him were total opposites, but they loved each other. I went to get our bags out of the car, Lorraine behind me, she probably didn't want to be left alone with the lethal duo.
"They're lovely Nik" beneath the surface Lorraine was the sweetest woman.
"Yeah they are, did you mean it in there?" I had to ask, she said I'd make a lovely wife.
She looked down at the floor, then dad interrupted us.
"Nikki you're too slow" he grabbed the bags and moved them to our room. Mum would have put us in separate rooms, I know what she's like. Dad had us sharing in the spare room, double bed with an on-suite. The house always smelt the same, like cinnamon and biscuits. Me and Lorraine sat on the bed, we needed a five minute break from them both.
"Your parents house is lovely and so are they"
"I was worried you wouldn't like them or you'd feel uncomfortable" I really hoped she didn't feel stupid, I wanted her to feel at home.
"No, honestly it's lovely. I didn't really have a home when I was younger. It's nice Nikki honestly and yeah you would make a great wife" she looked at me with seriousness in her face.
"Come here" I pulled her in, cupping her face, we kissed. She gave the best kisses I'd ever had, maybe the fact she meant something to me, made them better. Our lips touching, between kisses we looked each other in the eye. Tongues, sweet taste, lips soft, mine coated with hers; tingles.
Then there was a knock, just when my hand started reaching for her stomach. It's safe to say it killed the moment.
"Hey lovelies, I wondered what you'd like for tea tonight? I don't know what Lorraine likes" my mum a dear little thing, only 4 '11. She was smaller than me, I was even taller than my dad.
"Me and Lorraine thought we'd take you both out" I smiled
"Oh really?! That would be lovely, John did you hear that?" She shouted down to my dad, he heard nothing. She left us in the room, as she made her way to tell my dad we were taking them out.
"Do your parents know who I am?" I hadn't told them anything, Lorraine was a private person and I didn't want to say anything without her consent.
"No, they know who you are, not what you do and the fact you're.. Loaded" I tried to say it in a way where I didn't sound like, they wouldn't like her if they knew. To be honest, they wouldn't even care, I think.
"Well over dinner, we can get to know each other" her words warm, she wanted to know about me and my family.

She looked so perfect and smiled at the fact I wanted to know her and her family. Why wouldn't I want to? She was my girlfriend and Nikki was the only woman I had ever loved like this. I thought I loved Brooklyn, but Nikki; it goes deeper. I looked around the room, it was big and bright. The bed cover was frilly, probably her mother's taste. I could see myself living somewhere like this with Nikki, I had a lot of money and could buy anywhere, but somewhere small and cosy with Nikki, suited me fine.
I didn't want to let on I was thinking of asking her to move in with me, to buy somewhere with her. We had been together a while, we had chemistry even before we dated. It wasn't like we had been together a year, but it felt right to me, I just wasn't sure if it was right for Nikki.

"You look nice Rose" I really adored Nikki's mum, she was sweet and gentle. She wore a nice cream dress and done her hair, so all of it was out of her face. Nikki didn't look like her mum, she definitely resembled her dad, she had his eyes.
"Thank you Lorraine, it's one of my best dresses" me and Nikki both looked at each other smiling.
"Well it's lovely" I didn't even have to try and be happy around Nikki and her family, it came natural; it was how I felt. Nikki had picked the restaurant, she knew the area. I was paying for everyone, nobody knew yet, not even Nikki. Nikki thought we were going to go halves, but I wanted to treat all of them. I had even planned to take her mother out tomorrow, a relaxation day and a shopping spree. I also thought Nikki might like time with her dad, she was going on about how she missed watching the sports with him, so I figured. Tomorrow I'm going to get them some beers and food to enjoy, along with the sports.
Being nice wasn't something I done often, I was always too wrapped up in myself, but now I had someone to care about; I really cared.
"This is it" Nikki pulling up at a posh restaurant.
"I didn't think you came to places like this, you said it was full of pretentious twats" I whispered in her ear, her side smiling at me.
"I didn't, until I fell in love with one" she winked at me, joking as usual. I loved Nikki's sarcastic side, it was hot. We had the same kind of humour.
"What kind of food does this place do love?" Her mum looked nervous, she was worried in case she didn't like anything. Nikki knew nothing, so I said something
"Rose, if nothing takes your fancy in there, we can go somewhere else. It's no trouble, honestly"
"Thank you dear, I just don't want to embarrass myself. Not in a place like this" her voice quivered.
"Are we going in then" Nikki looking at all of us to get out of the car. Her dad laughed, they were like two peas in a pod. I liked how closed they all were, it was nice to watch.

We sat near the window, on lovely plush cushioned seats. I sat next to Nikki and her mum sat next to her dad. I wouldn't have minded if I was seated next to her mum, but I couldn't help feeling like her dad didn't like me. Her dad hadn't spoken to me since we arrived, he just gave me the odd smile, at least it's better than nothing. We all ordered our drinks first, mine was a glass of white, Rose had a gin and tonic, John had a beer and Nikki the same. Our food was going to take a while, so it was the perfect time to get to know everyone.
"So Nikki said you work at Waterloo Road" Rose spoke up and I knew she didn't know half of what I do.
"Well that's one way to put it, I own it" it was the truth, I couldn't lie to Nikki's mum, that would be more than disgusting.
"Nikki, you didn't say anything" Nikki's face now sunken, like she knew what was coming.
"So, what do you mean by owning it. Is it a side project among the other things you do" the first thing Nikki's dad had said to me all day.
"I am the benefactor, I put money into the school to keep it running, but it is mine" his face, his posture, everything about him screamed.. I don't like your type. I had my hands on the table, fingers intwined, my face low as I stared at them. Nikki discretely put a hand on my knee under the table, reassurance was what I needed in that awkward situation.
"That's amazing dear, that you've done so well for yourself" I could imagine myself baking cakes with
Rose, I warmed to her instantly and me Lorraine Donnegan, wanting to bake cakes.
"So you earn quite a lot then?" There he goes again, I only said nothing as he was Nikki's dad.
Nikki looked at me, embarrassed and disheartened. Nikki wanted her dad to like me, she got on so well with him, but sometimes things like this happen.
"I'm a millionaire" the whole table went quiet and Rose nearly choked on her drink.
Nikki's head was now in her hand, she didn't want them to know. What was I suppose to say, I earn some, I owned a school for goodness sake.
Just in time, the food arrived, it smelt amazing and got my taste buds tingling.
"Yours looks nice" Nikki peered closer at my plate, her eyes on the prize so to speak.
"Try some" I took some pasta from the plate onto my fork and fed her, sharing food was a new habit. I didn't care, that her parents were here. I also liked the fact it annoyed her dad, he didn't even know me, yet he was judging me based on my wealth.
"That's amazing" ugh Nikki's Yorkshire accent, it made me hot under the collar. I wanted to shout at her dad, and it's an expensive collar too; I tried to not laugh at my own thoughts.
"Rose, I thought me and you could spend the day together tomorrow" I told her about the day trip I had organised.
"Really? You'd do that for me" the life in her skin came back, she seemed excited.
"I wanted to get to know you and spend time with you. I also wanted Nikki to have some time with her dad" even when I had said that, he rolled his eyes. It was really bothering me, the way he was acting towards me; I had done nothing wrong.
"Lorraine, you don't have to do that" Nikki grabbing my leg tighter underneath the table again as she spoke, I could tell she appreciated it. I could feel the heat coming off of her hand, her eyes dotting all over me, her hand sliding upwards. I nearly knocked the complimentary jug of water over, she was pretty close to where she knew she should rub; I was wearing a dress and that was easy access after all.
"You ok dear" Rose concerned, but me and Nikki knew, that I was absolutely fine.
After quietly sniggering to ourselves, everyone was nearly done. I had finished, but didn't eat all of it.
"Not hungry?" Nikki looked at me and I shook my head to say no, all of a sudden I felt down. Her dad just didn't seem right, he looked uncomfortable and looked as though he wanted to go home. I was feeling like shit, all I wanted, was to get on with both of them.