Touhou belongs to Team Shanghai Alice. So do concepts, characters and everything else you have experienced while playing the game, except the dishes. Here's another man who wants to use his ideas for a story.

Disclaimer: The author will not be responsible for your safety should you attempt something like this in the story. THIS IS ONLY FICTION. Please take care of yourself and remain rational in your acts after reading this particularly long entry of 'Letters to Reimu'. Have a nice day!

I feel so lonely.

Why did you fail? You were 'The Shrine Maiden' of Gensokyo, weren't you? Nobody was supposedly able to beat you, but why? Why was a youkai finally able to defeat you?

This is all your fault, Reimu. I'm now all alone, thanks to your pathetic display of strength in the times of need. So you thought you were the best? All those 'youkai extermination specialist' crap you ranted about yourself? Definitely not. Never before, and never after!

I'm now lost in the Outer World with nobody to care for me. The only person I have ever cared for, she's no longer with me, all thanks to your failure! Give me back the people I could only care for in my life! I hate you.

I hate you, Hakurei Reimu.

I HATE YOU!

Don't think for a moment that I have forgiven you after a few weeks, because I still loathe the very mention of your name. I'll go insane if I kept everything in my heart, so I'm writing this down and burning every one of them to the other side of the world for your reading pleasure once I get the opportunity to do so.

These few weeks have been miserable. Travelling by foot? What did both you and Yukari see in this world, cretin? There are so many men out here, I'm feeling very insecure, and I just can't blast them away with danmaku like I used to! So what if danmaku taught us to read patterns in the time span of a snap of fingers? A crazy man just pulled some weird hand-held cannon (A.N.: a gun) and shot it at me before I could do anything, but thanks to my lithe self, I avoided getting hit.

The men here… they are lowlifes! Is intimate pleasure the only thing these sorry excuses for humans ever enjoy from a suffering victim of a nuclear catastrophe? It's always money for this, money for that, and to get money, they want pleasure from me.

No way am I going to have to stoop so low to survive. I rather risk getting shot at while stealing than to lose my sanity and dignity as a girl.

And neither do I need Yukari's help, especially when she mentioned you had a part in whatever mansion she claimed to own in this world. I do not need anybody's sympathy for my sorry self, especially when I had no part to play in my downfall of my life. I will live my life in my own way, without somebody looking over my shoulder every five minutes.

Are you feeling all at ease in the afterlife, even when a poor soul like me is struggling to survive in the shadowy hollows of the brutal environment? I'm not exactly weak and inadaptable to new circumstances as you would have thought, my 'dear friend'. How cruel of you to simply shirk your responsibilities as 'The Shrine Maiden' and leave everyone else stranded!

How did you even become a miko in the first place, anyway? By birth rights? Fate? Yukari's boundary manipulation? If it's the latter of the latter, why couldn't she have simply altered the boundary of life and death and saved everybody from exodus from Gensokyo?

Gensokyo was our home, it belonged to us, just as it was to you.

Did you not remember that fact when you decided to call it quits?

I killed my first victim in the Outer World today.

This bastard tried to bind my wrists together with some metal cuffs for stealing from that bakery in town. I was hungry and had nothing to eat for the week, and that fat man called the cops on me. One managed to follow my trail to the back alleys, where I smashed his skull into his brains after pretending to surrender myself. Fat chance.

I've became a thief, a far cry of my former self, Reimu, and I don't need to remind anybody who the root cause of this is. I never wanted to be a thief, but my hunger pangs reign over my dignity and my mind agrees.

Who are these people, calling me a 'small girl'? They don't know who they're messing with! So what if I looked like those school-going brats, all decked in their unsightly revealing outfits and ready to stoop low enough on the human scum level to please men for money? I don't do that, and I won't. My dress has been shredded and burnt in many places even before coming to the Outer World, but I still wear those rags. What other choice do I have?

I never had to be hungry in Gensokyo, and nobody had to be, too. You could always find food anywhere in the wild if you had some knowledge, but in this world, everything seems to be tainted. Rats scurry around as if they owned the place, collection points for rubbish turning a once-clean corner of the neighborhood into a hell hole fit for garbage like me, as someone had taunted me once.

I am garbage. I have no family, no money, no friends.

But if I'm really garbage, then you are thrash.

In case you were hoping that I was already dead, I'm saddened to announce the opposite; I've found shelter.

Not the best place, but it works. I wandered around and found myself in the company of some university students in their school dorm. The place looks old when compared to whatever I have seen so far, but having come from Gensokyo, this is manageable.

I'm beginning to have second opinions about the males of the Outer World. This lot here seems a lot friendlier, more humble and, like me, some of them are homeless. The walls and rooms are in total need of repair, personal belongings and thrash strewn all over the place, almost an Outer World version of Marisa's shack, but they had modern facilities like a working bathroom with… stuff that Nitori used to tinker with. It makes me wonder if that kappa had been in contact with humans on this side all the while.

Initially, a girl spotted me near their territory, which almost made me draw out my weapons, but she didn't seem to notice my hostility and instead politely asked if I was homeless. I don't know how she had figured that out, probably from the sight of my tattered dress, which had been on me for two years since our exodus, but even while keeping my guard, I told her that I was, indeed, homeless.

She must have thought I was being shy and took me to her friends, who were mostly males. In fact, I hardly saw any other girl other than this particular one, who looked to be pretty popular in their territory for some reasons. Despite knowing myself, I allowed them near me, and surprisingly none of them proved to be the men that I have encountered so far. It was like stepping into a group of strangers and suddenly becoming one of them.

They told me this particular school dorm accepted just about anybody at a ridiculously low rent. The sole 500 yen coin that I had managed to find during my wanderings was almost enough for two months, they said. However, one of the guys among them came up with an offer, to which all of them agreed to: help them with the cooking and he will pay my rent.

What other choice do I have? At least these guys weren't asking for intimate pleasure in return, or even being indecent with me around. I gladly took it up, knowing that I used to do cooking back in our old days, anyway.

Here I am, two weeks after my first encounter with the girl, and I am already good friends with majority of the students here. All of them wanted to know where I came from, but I don't know if I should break the truth to them; after all, who are they to pester me with my past?

It's all good here, Reimu.

You will NEVER destroy me.

The days passed quickly, and soon I am beginning to lose my friends here.

I'm feeling jealous, only because they get to move on other graduation, while scum of the world, such as myself, has to stay and call it my new home. I've learnt that while there are homeless ones among them, most of the students here chose this squalor due to high costs of living, and they had absolutely no reasons to carry on living like this once their tenure in the school is up. In fact, most of them came from average-income families. For the once-and-still socially dead, this is my permanent home.

The run-down dorm isn't as bad as it first looked to be once I got used to it. It stinks of everything that should stink (myself included, which was before I found shelter here), but the roof holds against natural elements. I am a living proof of the shelter-worthy dorm; I stayed throughout all four seasons throughout the three years I am here, while most of the other students left for home for vacations or traveling. The other homeless people, of course, kept me company throughout those times.

My friends would return from their holidays with homemade food brought from all over Japan and they would share them with me. Nobody shared anything with me back in Gensokyo, and I think maybe the humans here also have their good points, despite whatever I had experienced during my first two years in the Outer World (which they called 'Earth'). These foods are really great, but if only I had known to make these during the good old days…

But this was to come to an end soon; my friends, all of them, mostly those whom I had met on my first day in the school dorm, are to graduate from school in two weeks time. The new ones who swallowed enough of themselves to move into this dorm recently aren't as warm as my current batch of friends are, some of them even giving me 'hungry' looks.

One of these friends is the same man who has been paying my rent for the past three years, and… I think we might actually like each other a lot. He's always complimenting the food I prepare for all of them daily, bringing me gifts and taking really good care of me. I don't know if it's just being grateful for my cooking, for these guys had been telling me that sometimes they were too tired to cook after school, but I believe it's more than just this.

I first had this strange feeling, something not felt in Gensokyo before, when he smiled at me as he left the dorm on his first vacation home with most of the others. Throughout summer, I kept yearning for his presence, and somehow could not contain my joy when he finally returned weeks later. He was back a week early before the others, claiming he needed time to rest up for the next semester in the school, and giving me my first and unexpected gift: a new dress and other new-looking clothes to replace my current worn-out dress.

We spent that one week in the city, in which the name I couldn't really remember. Went to what is known as a cinema here, which was my first real encounter with the stuff Nitori loved working on, had some great food and lots of fun. He didn't seem too enthralled by all the stuff they had in the city, but somehow, I got the feeling that he was just doing it for me.

After school started, it was business as usual; the dorm's usually quiet during the days, then bustling with gaming activities at night. I continued preparing the food for all of them, and got to enjoy all the attempts at a musical event similar to the Prismrivers. It wasn't as flawless as the sisters, but everyone seemed to enjoy it, and I found myself beginning to like their version of music, known as 'rock' and 'trance'.

A year or so after I joined the dorm, some of the seniors then graduated and left us; the group of people I knew suddenly became smaller. As new people came in, I became on my guard once again, but whenever I caught sight of him, my heart stopped pounding and I become calm all over again.

All in all, we had good days during his school years. In two weeks time, I'm going to lose him forever; he is going back to his hometown in a far-away state, as he had shown me on a map of Japan. It's going to be really hard without his presence; I feel as if something was tearing yet another piece of the half of me that was left after I escaped from Gensokyo.

And then I will think of you. Come to think of it, I had gradually lost my hatred for you. True, it was due to your sloppy work that threw all of us out of our home, but I think there's so much more to a life outside of daily danmaku and incidents. Perhaps you thought you would have wanted this life, too?

What exactly do you want, Reimu?

… and so this place became to be known as such, hmm, the young girl took a sip from her mug of juice before closing the book. Such a strange and eerie place, definitely not a destination I would go, but…

This place has been appearing in my dreams since two months ago. Something's calling out to me from that forest. Of course, I wouldn't have known which forest, but the hints are getting clearer with each dream; they all culminated in death. Was… whatever that was calling out for me seeking my death? Whatever have I done?

I'm simply a librarian in this university, and had been one since eleven years ago.

My world revolved around books, not sinful acts of greed, ambition and lust.

…

Or have I found something in these books that I have shouldn't?

"Miss?" a student rapped the table to catch her attention, a book already set on the counter.

"Uh?" the girl looked up from her reverie. "Oh… uh… card please?"

Locking the library doors, the seemingly-young librarian began her nightly duties of cleaning up the entire university library, sorting and cataloguing books, and rearranging all the furniture students had left in a messy state. It took hours every night, but she had never complained, rather taking it as a hobby than to lose her job and go hungry all alone in this world.

Being in a school sure does wonders. I begin learning more than I ever had before in Gensokyo, and all of these books could have had been a good addition to the Viole. I've opened my eyes wider, grasped onto any opportunities to increase my knowledge of my old homeworld and understood humans better.

And schools usually have outdoor activities. Not one for such events, but at least I've become physically stronger. No longer do I even have problems getting up from the bed or even walking long distances. While I no longer have Koakuma to help me with these books during closing time, at least now I can manage everything on my own.

I've become independent. Stronger. Wiser. And seemed to have not aged one bit.

But one must never get too much ahead of oneself.

All of us have our limits.

Everybody.

As do I.

But one must never be afraid to take challenges head on. Weaknesses comes only when one shies away from it. Which is why…

I, Patchouli Knowledge, am going to undertake this expedition to this forest. All my research, my investigations, they lead only to this one place in the world. Surrounding a portion of the base of a mountain is this lush patch of green from an eagle's eye view on the peak of a very tall hill. That is my destination. Whatever that is calling out to me, it has to be within that forest.

The photos and images I have gleaned through during the past month seemed to match whatever I had seen in my dreams. The trees, the serenity of the forest, untouched by humanity. I have my doubts of the accuracy of my information, as this place is definitely across the ocean, in 'the Land of the Rising Sun', as they called it 'Japan'. If I end up in the wrong forest, I would have simply wasted money and time, and I don't exactly have much of the former.

It seems… this is becoming like poker. A wager, on my life, had been placed. I raised the stakes with my confidence in my knowledge, and then doubled it when I've decided to throw in my personal savings for this trip. It became an all-in instantly when, just a few hours ago, I had finally found the name of this forest, and the reputation it has, a sign that I might never come out of it alive.

After all, Aokigahara Forest is well known to be haunted by vengeful spirits of the dead.

Patchouli looked all around her; twisting networks of vines seemed to obscure her vision at every direction. The forest was so thick, light could hardly penetrate through the lush canopy and so casted black holes of shadows in many areas.

She was lost; her compass had begun to malfunction shortly after she got off the regularly used trails left by other explorers. Through the small cracks of sunlight that made it past the canopy, she saw that even the sun would not last long; it was almost dusk.

I have to get out of here, she thought to herself desperately. Aokigahara isn't one place I want to spend a night in, all alone. Choosing a random direction, she began trekking through the harsh uneven jungle floor, hoping that it led her back to one of the used trails. I should have stayed with the track as they had advised, she scolded herself mentally.

Without warning, her left ankle got caught in a vine, tripping her over and causing her to fall face first… right into the empty gaze of a rotten skull. Shrieking in abstract horror, Patchouli backed away as fast as she could on all fours, but it seemed as if the vines all around her were suddenly coming to life. They looped around her ankles and wrists, preventing her from escaping.

The skull seemed to float in front of her eyes, and as it did, the vines started lifting the poor, screaming librarian into the air. Looking upwards, she saw a noose hanging from a thick branch high above the forest floor, and it seemed that it was the destination of her nature's ascension. Resisting with all her might, she tried to break free of the surprisingly strong grasps while desperately twisting her head as far away as she could, but failed.

The floating skull was still in front of her; the empty eye sockets seemed to bulge when it shouldn't have been able to, and suddenly Patchouli found herself being forced towards the death loop. The vines gave no signs of relenting as her body was strangely brought towards the noose. As her neck came within inches of the noose, Patchouli finally gave up and accepted her fate. She felt the base of her chin rest softly on nylon before the vines on her limbs suddenly released their grip, her body weight suddenly becoming the victim of gravity-

"Mukyu!" Patchouli uttered a surprised cry. Two hands quickly reached up to her neck and felt all around the skin; no nylon ropes threatened to strangle her to death through asphyxiation, and she breathed out in relief, even as she continued panting like a dog under the hot sun.

Sweat still pouring from her forehead, she wiped it away with the sleeve of her windbreaker. Tears had started pooling in her eyes from her frightening nightmare; she quickly rubbed them away with her thumb…

… and realized that she was, somehow, still floating. Her body, at first, rose, even while she was sitting in a chair, then dropped slightly before rising again. As if the entire chair was breathing on its own-

And then she remembered; she was on a commercial aircraft bound for Japan, the aircraft bobbing up and down gently against the air current outside. I'm not liking these dreams. It's haunting me to my very soul. I have to find out what's bothering me soon, and why am I always dreaming about the forest.

Checking her flight information on the screen, she realized that her flight was almost ending, and that she was already somewhere above Japan. Looking out of the window, for she had been assigned a window seat, she saw a large mountain in the distance. That should be Mount Fuji. A clear plastic folder in her carry-on bag had some printed notes and maps about her upcoming travel; it was indeed the mountain she was headed for.

And that forest at the base, that definitely has to be Aokigahara Forest.

Is that why I had those nightmares, even on board?

"Good afternoon, miss," a person Patchouli assumed to be a village local, greeted her with a hearty loud voice as she entered through the rural village's gates. She had streaks of green among her brown hair, an obvious attempt at punk style, and was just about as short as she was in height. "Are you joining us today?"

"Huh?" Patchouli raised her eyebrows. "'Joining' you?"

"Yeah, it's the annual sweep. Didn't you come all the way here for this?"

"Not really?"

"Let me guess," the local, a woman, had a hand rested on her chin, the other hand cupping the elbow as she entered deep thought. "You are headed for Aokigahara Forest?"

"How did you know about that?" Patchouli asked.

The woman laughed in return, giving her a knowing look. "Three types of people pass through these gates: them being the ones who wish to explore the majestic Aokigahara Forest, the ones who are on a treasure hunt of notorious sorts, and finally, the ones who will make their final journey in life in the forest. You don't look like a treasure hunter to me, though."

"Well…"

"Please reconsider your actions," the woman suddenly turned serious as she lowered her voice, laying a roughened hand on Patchouli's shoulders.

"What do you mean?" Patchouli gave a confused look. "I really need to get to the forest."

"Listen, there are other ways to resolve matters," the woman continued as if she hadn't spoken. "Think about the people who brought you up."

I don't remember my own parents, but wait! Does she believe I was going into that forest to commit suicide? "I think you are making-"

"There's somebody here today who can help you," the woman dropped the hand and grabbed her left hand, pulling her along as she walked in a different direction. "A monk from a distant temple of is also here today for the annual sweep. Her role is to give blessings to the dead and push them to rest in peace, but she can still help you."

Patchouli allowed herself to be led as the two of them walked briskly towards a small gathering of policemen and regular folks, all dressed for trekking into the forest. Patchouli herself was similarly dressed appropriately, having left most of her travel belongings in a hotel in Tokyo and travelling out to the village with a smaller bag.

Among the regular folks stood out another woman in black and white dress, sporting long brown hair. Those colors remind me of Marisa, except without that pointy hat and apron. The Marisa-like monk smiled as she recognized the woman leading Patchouli to her. Making a few gestures, apparently about Patchouli wanting to end her life, especially with the finger-throat-cutting gesture, the woman gently pushed Patchouli towards the monk before bowing and leaving them alone.

The two of them exchange formal Japanese greetings, but it was Patchouli who initiated conversation. "What kind of monk are you? Your dress looks-"

"Foreign?" the monk replied in a tone hinting that she was almost hitting her forties. If she had taken offense to Patchouli's abrupt comment, she did not show it. "I wouldn't blame you, but this is how I dress normally at my temple. Were you expecting saffron robes?"

"Uh… kinda?"

The monk nodded sagely. "You seemed troubled."

"I am troubled… by that forest."

Patchouli's reply surprised the monk. "Wait, you didn't come all the way here-"

"I have enough sense not to end my life meaninglessly, thank you. I think that villager had misunderstood me." Not after what I promised Reimu…

"That woman doesn't live here, she's one of my regular worshippers at my temple. But enough of that already, I was wondering if you would join us in the sweep today. Wasn't it your intention to enter the Aokigahara Forest anyway?"

"It is. I need to find out what's bothering me for two months." Patchouli went on to explain about her nightmares to the monk, who took in every word without laughing at her silliness, even though the story sounded silly. She tried to include as many details as she could and why she believed it originated from Aokigahara Forest, going to the extent of showing the monk her folder of notes, finally ending it off with her most recent nightmare on the flight.

"Have you had any other dreams while sleeping on the way here?" the monk asked after she finished.

"I didn't dare to sleep after that."

"Hmm… this is… this is odd."

"What is odd, Miss… um…"

"Hijiri. Hijiri Byakuren is my name, but I allow people to address me directly by my name. I give this luxury even to the spirits that I try to pacify, too."

"You can communicate with spirits?" Patchouli asked disbelievingly.

"I wouldn't go showing off, Miss…"

"'Patchy' would be fine, Byakuren."

"Yes, Patchy, I wouldn't show off. It's nothing something to be taken lightly. Now, you were talking about something calling for you in that forest?"

"Yes, Byakuren."

Byakuren shook her head in some sort of pity that confused the already confused Patchouli. "I see," she then nodded her head gravely. "So the signs have reached you, too."

"The 'signs'?"

The duo trekked their allocated route into Aokigahara Forest with strict instructions to only search for corpses of the suicidal and leave everything else in the forest untouched, in interests of preservation and respect for the dead. Byakuren led the way and worked with tying colored strings on trees to mark their path for an easy retreat trek.

Patchouli suspected as much, although she wondered why it was necessary when they were taking a commonly-used path. However, at that moment, she chose to gaze at the trees and nature's beauty. This is what it really is like on the outside. One hundred and eleven years in a library sure has shut my eyes for too long. The air here, despite being tainted by decomposition of both nature and… something else, is fresh with the lush forest.

But where is this 'thing' that has been calling for me? As if on cue, Byakuren turned around to her once she had finished tying a string.

"The signs," she repeated. "Of somebody calling you to this place."

"Uh… I guess so?" Isn't that obvious? I mean, why else would I want to come here?

"In all honesty, I should have kept you under guard till I return from the forest," Byakuren said in a stern tone, but the tone slowly gave way into something akin to sorrow, although her face showed no signs of crying. "I had an attendee who came to my temple two years ago. She was so desperate that I had to step in-"

"Who is she, and what is she so desperate for?"

"She gave us no name, but keep speaking of something from a forest calling out to her… death."

"That's… that's…"

"Exactly."

Without another word, Byakuren spun around quickly and continued on their track at a visibly faster pace. Patchouli strode to catch up with the sudden fast pace. "Wait, did she mention about-"

"'Gensokyo'?"

"How did you-"

"Know? She spoke to me about one Gensokyo too. When I first saw her, I could already sense something extremely haunting in her body. Something that was torn away from her. Almost like her soul was the victim of being torn apart."

"You won't believe me, but I suspect I might know her, even though I still don't know who she is."

"At first, it sounded more like a relationship problem, but as she rambled on, I begin to pick up some hints beyond a simple argument, something that might have been similar to yours."

Patchouli paused in her tracks as she began running through names in her mind, causing Byakuren to stop as well. "What is it?" the monk asked.

"You mentioned she was in a relationship?"

"Yes."

"Oh. That's because in the whole list of people that I know, none of them are married."

"She wasn't married."

"You sounded sure."

"Which is why I finally decided to come here," Byakuren nodded once. She then went on to tell Patchouli about how this particular attendee asked for spiritual help regarding similar nightmares to Patchouli's, and that she herself performed some rites to cleanse any evil on the attendee, although Byakuren herself wasn't exactly sure what sort of evil was clouding within the attendee.

The attendee came back two days later, drenched in blood, and seemed to have lost all traces of sanity. She was unarmed, but her presence, including her sudden display of what Byakuren likened to a demonic possession, horrified many of the other worshippers around, and in the interests of keeping her temple's name clean and herself venerable, Byakuren called in the police, who took her away, suspecting murder.

"I didn't hear from that girl afterwards, but one day, another attendee came to my temple," Byakuren said. "And asked for information about that girl, who happened to have made it to the news. I told him whatever I could, including the nightmares that brought the girl to my temple and he left after cursing loudly and mentioning these two particular words that chilled me to the bone."

"'Aokigahara Forest'?" Patchouli ventured a guess.

"He said he was looking for his girlfriend, who had disappeared from her home. An anonymous letter had arrived at his residence that day, along with a clipping of that particular news, and it told him to meet her 'at the quiet forest you first told me about when saw the horror movie'."

Patchouli, upon hearing that last sentence, suddenly realized something; there was almost no sounds of wild life coming from within the forest; it was absolutely quiet, except for the crunching of leaves underfoot and pairs, or groups, of other volunteers whispering among themselves. A shout or two would occur whenever someone found a corpse, but otherwise the silence was almost, ironically, deafening. "How long ago was that?"

"Just about a month after that incident."

"So you've come here to search for both of them?"

"That woman earlier who directed you to me? She was a victim of bullying due to her unnaturally loud voice, so much that it drove her near the point of desperation, and she had thought to end her life by suicide in this forest. Young Miss Kasodani came to me as her last resort, and admitted to me that if I hadn't been able to help her, she would have really traveled out here to join her family in the other side of life. Ever since, I thought it would be nice if I could come out and join the annual searches in hopes to dissuade the hopeless from suicide."

"And you both thought I was one of them," Patchouli smiled, even though Byakuren had her back on her as they continued on the tracks.

"And just two weeks ago, I finally recalled the incident at my temple, those two years ago."

"But the way you have told me how that incident happened, it didn't sound like it would end in suicide."

"That is true, which is why I'm here to appease my newly perked curiosity."

In the next two hours, with the sun still high, the pair came across three corpses, which they signaled to a nearby police team, who quickly bagged them and dragged them out of the forest after Byakuren whispered quick, according to what she had told them, Buddhist prayers for the dead while Patchouli stood nearby in silence in respect. Patchouli initially cringed when the police tried to remove the first body from a hangman's noose, resulting in the head being separated from the body due to extreme decomposition, but as they moved on to the third, she was convinced her nightmares about this forest was worse than maggot-infested bodies buried under heaps of dried leaves.

After the fifth body was dragged away, the pair was left alone again. The police team had instructed for them to continue on the marked tracks while they went back to the entrance of the forest.

"Byakuren?"

"Yes, my dear?"

"I still don't know what's haunting me. All we have seen so far is an endless sea of trees and leaves, not to mention a few bodies that we have come across along the way. I really need to find out what is calling out to both me and that attendee, why is it calling us to our deaths. I do not wish to have another night of sleep till I can resolve this."

Byakuren looked back; the last of the men in the police team had vanished beyond a curve in the tracks, blocked by intertwining branches. "I agree with you, I had actually wanted to step off the path and explore this forest. Anything could be hidden within, and we might find our answers in there, but we had to make sure nobody saw us, or we might be called back."

"And the police team is now out of sight."

"And we are out of sight of anybody else."

Both shared a smile before Byakuren retrieved three colored strings and tied a special pattern on a low tree branch, adding a small amulet of her own to the decoration. "Our way-point for return," she explained. "We won't go too far, just enough to be able to find our way back."

"Are you sure it's this way?" Patchouli huffed as she held a hand to a study trunk for support, panting from her hard travels through thick leaves and branches. "We both have maps and compasses, yet I don't remember coming through this way!"

Byakuren, while physically stronger than the weak librarian, herself was sweating from their bashing efforts through the green. "I told you not to venture out too much!"

Both of them looked up at the cracks in the leaves of high branches; the sky was already hot orange, signaling dusk, and that they had been lost in the forest for hours. Even with their continued shouts for help, nobody seemed to respond, or as Patchouli suspected, or have heard their cries for help. As it was in her most recent nightmare, Patchouli found out that their compasses were malfunctioning. Something here is not wanting us to leave the forest… alive.

Byakuren swore audibly, grabbed Patchouli's hand and, based on her instincts, led them both on a path anew. With the monk leading in front, both of them covered bigger distances in a shorter time, but with reduced visibility, they were unaware of natural breaks in the ground, and suddenly Byakuren yelped as she fell into one such pitch-black hole.

Patchouli released her hand in time to prevent herself from falling in as well, but mentally cursed her reflex move. I could have held on to her and pull her out! "Byakuren!" she shouted into the hole. When she got no response, she got down on all fours and extended her arm into the hole. "Byakuren! Grab my hand!"

No response, only a further darkening of the skies as the sun finally reaches sea level and began to set. Horrified, Patchouli tried to see how deep the hole was, but it was too dark and she gave one last attempt at rescuing Byakuren before she herself took off in the direction they were going in. Fearing further encounters with holes, coupled with the fact she was physically weak, Patchouli made slow progress as she desperately try to get somebody's attention.

A looped vine, unknown to her, was in her path; her ankle got caught in it and sent her sprawling to the ground. The leaves cushioned her fall, but she still shouted involuntarily in shock and tried to get back on her feet, but fell again as her ankle remained caught in the vines when she tried to take off.

It was almost dark, hastening her heartbeat in sheer fright. This is almost like my recent nightmare coming true! A third attempt to run failed as she still could not free her ankle and fell face first to the forest floor again.

Please let not be a skull in front of me, Patchouli pleaded in a small voice, squeezing her eyes shut as she turned her head up to look forward Please let not be a skull in front of me… please…

And like a nightmare becoming reality, when she opened her eyes, her mouth opened too and a sharp shrill escaped as a moss-covered skull stared back at her with two empty orbs in place of eyeballs. Thrashing wildly at her nightmare-came-true, she struggled to get up on her feet again, but her thrashing had her own arms and other leg getting entangled in the vines all around her.

"NO!" Patchouli cried out, tears flowing freely as she knew what would happen next, just like the nightmare. "I DON'T WANT TO DIE! SOMEBODY! SAVE ME, PLEASE!" Totally expecting the skull to float up next, she closed her eyes and willed herself to snap out of the nightmare, but it didn't work.

However, as much as luck would have it, when her eyes flew open, this time the skull remained at where it was, but the empty orbs still seemed to be staring at her intensely. It's gonna float soon… it's gonna float soon… it's gonna…

Wait.

Patchouli stopped crying and instead cracked a small smile as a thought entered her mind. It's just a skull, of course it would stare at me if I was facing it. What was I thinking? Relieved at her safety, she worked her limbs and somehow got free. Standing up, she brushed the leaves and twigs off as best as she could under reduced sunlight. So why did I dream of being hauled up?

On an instinct, she snapped her head up; all she could see were leaves covering the sky above her, preventing rays of sunlight from reaching the forest floor at her spot. It wasn't completely dark, as cracks in another area allowed some light in, and she saw it.

A noose loaded with a person.

By that time, Patchouli had grown used to staring at corpses while helping the police team extract bodies from the forest and so she only swallowed hard as she tried to remember what happened in her nightmare. I remembered being dragged up to that noose and getting my neck hung on it.

Or was I even hung to my death?

Was whatever in this forest trying to tell me something?

The tree that held the noose wasn't as high as she had thought to be, especially in her panic in her nightmare on the plane. The corpse was wearing a faded dress of a color Patchouli could not make out in the dim sunset rays, along with an inner shirt that was lighter in color. Looks white to me.

Any remnants of flesh had long decomposed away, but enough of the hair remained and from her own judgment, this person was a female. Or even a girl, since she's wearing school-going shoes and socks that somehow hasn't fallen off from her.

So who is she?

Daring to provoke the dead, Patchouli reached up, where she found out that she could only reach the waist level, and fumbled around the inside of the dress' side pocket that she had guessed would be there. Her fingers then encountered something smooth that wasn't part of the cloth made into the dress and she withdrew her hand, taking whatever that was inside with her. Under the dim light, she realized it was a folded sheet of thick paper, or probably sheets of paper, but couldn't make out anything that would have been printed or written on it.

Come to us… come to us…

"What was that?" Patchouli spun around at the sudden voice, then realized it was in her head. That voice… it's from my nightmares!

Come to us, Patchouli… come to us…

As the voice repeated itself, Patchouli began to find it familiar but, in her flustered mind, couldn't figure out who it was. "WAIT!" she called out to the forest. "WHERE?"

Leave this world… come to us… We are all waiting for you…

"WUAH!" Patchouli screamed as a hand suddenly landed on her shoulder. Spinning around in real fear of the forest, which had been forgotten after she had realized the skull wouldn't float, she saw a dark figure of a woman, only discernible from a rather large bulge on the chest level. "WHAT… WHAT ARE YOU?"

"Patch… Patchy, it's me," the woman, almost a silhouette by then, bent down and panted. "Bya… Byaku…kuren! I… I got out of.. that… hole!"

"How did you find me here?" Patchouli asked in relief.

"Heard your screams. Good… good news! A rescue team… dispatched and found… me… look!" Byakuren raised what would have been her hand and pointed behind them; four men with large search lights in their hands stood smiling. Ropes tied in a loop around their waists, visible with the aid of the search lights, were probably used to guide their way out of the forest.

Patchouli, under the glare of the torchlight, smiled… again. "Gents, one body up there."

"Come on," one of the men moved forward. "Let's get that one and get you two little girls out of here."

"I'm not a little girl!" Byakuren huffed angrily.

He hasn't came back ever since he graduated. Not even to look for me.

I'm so lonely.

These new students here are horrible, almost all of them male. One of them tried to get too close to me in my room. Tackled him down to the ground before he gave up. I'm fearing for my safety at this moment.

I stopped my cooking activities and kept mostly to myself now. Would take walks around the nearby woods just to pass time and relive some of the better moments in Gensokyo. Came down with a fever yesterday, but had no money for a doctor.

One of the few girls in the dorm gave me some medicine to relieve my illness, but it's making me extremely weak; that guy came into my room again and I was almost powerless to stop him from advancing on me. Too weak to even scream, roll away or at least fight back…

You enjoying any of this yet, bitch?

Somehow, he stopped at simply groping me before leaving the room, laughing and telling his unseen friends outside my room about how he managed his 'dare'. As they left, so did my dignity; for the first time ever in my life, I cried. Cried because I'm totally lost. Cried because I'm now vulnerable to everything, unlike my old self. Cried because I'm now powerless to do anything for myself.

Even when I felt better today, I had no one to speak to of my troubles. Another of the guys, probably not of the same group as the one last night, whatever, I don't really care, found me crying under the veranda while everyone else was in school, except for the homeless ones. He wanted to be friendly with me, telling me the same stuff that he told me those years ago, about how I could speak to him of my troubles, look for him for a comforting hand… I DON'T WANT THOSE ANYMORE!

Because he will leave me like he did after graduation!

I pushed him away, but he kept coming. Again, I felt no immediate danger to myself, and with my strength slowly returning, I could have beaten him up if I wanted to, but I stopped myself and settled at pushing him away at every turn. After about twenty times, it suddenly felt like a game and I found myself smiling each time I had to push him away.

It made me forget about last night.

He's gone back to the school for his afternoon classes, and I'm all alone again.

All alone. Like you were in your shrine.

And he's gone again.

Two guys who took my heart with them when they graduated.

While I'm stuck in this hellhole that hasn't gotten any renovations since my first day here, and probably even a decade before.

I'm so sick of this.

I'm leaving, and nobody will ever find me again.

How do you like if I joined you in death now, Reimu? At least I get to exact my revenge on you when we meet in afterlife.

Are you mocking me with that voice of yours?

Because I don't think I'm really going to join you. That act is for cowards, not for me. I shall soldier on with this vagrant life and prove to you that I can survive on my own, without your sympathy of a miko.

Get away from my head!

Why?

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

I AM NOT GOING TO LEAVE THIS WORLD! JUST GET OUT OF MY HEAD NOW!

You happy yet?

You damned happy now?

That old hag at the Myouren Temple couldn't stop you, huh? Well, so be it, Reimu. Since you want some company in the afterlife, here's two, freshly sacrificed for your dear 'holy cause'.

Just leave me alone NOW.

Okay okay, I'm following your directions, just stop it already!

Here I am, in the forest, but why this place? It stinks of death here.

Just what the hell do you want from me?

My Lady! I'm… I'm sorry! Please pardon my rude remarks! I did not mean it!

Are you there? Are you also there now?

Yes… yes! I will definitely join you on the other side, my Lady! I'm sorry for delaying your summon, for I wanted to rid myself of all mortally possessions, including those who had broke my heart over the last nine years. I'm completely clean now, ready to accept your embrace!

I will leave this world and join you once I'm done, alright?

Preparations are ready, my Lady. I've laid the head of that man just below me, please accept this as proof of my readiness to join you, but do allow two tools to join me in my final journey-

"Patchy?" Byakuren poked her head into the tent. They were back at the village near Aokigahara Forest and were allocated a tent to share for the night before the annual search ends the next morning, after being treated for any injuries they had sustained while lost in the forest. "It's definitely her."

"How do you know?" the librarian laid the letters down on her ground, turning off the torchlight she was loaned.

Byakuren muttered a small prayer before continuing. "Bless the young girl, I recognized those clothes. She must have been homeless, wearing those clothes for so long."

"She is," Patchouli nodded. "I'm reading these letters she wrote, which she claimed to have wanted to burn, but for some reasons did not. And I'm convinced that this person is somebody I know."

"Any names yet?"

"Not yet."

"Do continue with them and let me know if you find something," Byakuren said. "I'm going to wash up, then we can call it a night. Miss Kasodani will join us in the tent, if you don't mind."

"Not at all, Byakuren."

"Oh yes," she poked her head in again. "I just remembered something. One of the men stumbled across two scabbards. Perhaps you want to have a look at it?"

"I will, in a moment's time. This seems to be the last letter."

…to you. You will recognize them, so they are not exactly worldly possessions. After all, I have served you for my existence in Gensokyo with these alongside with me. Please accept my humble request to have them both join me.

Because without them, I'm not your complete servant. If my death in this world satisfies your conditions to return to you, then I shall not hesitate a moment longer.

Lady Yuyuko… here I come… please welcome your humble servant back to Gensokyo.

Konpaku Youmu, Patchouli whispered the name as she finished the letter. I feel terribly sorry for your hardships on Earth. At least you have experienced love, and had somebody to look after you for a while, despite the hard trials and tribulations of life.

But… that voice earlier…

…

…

…

It makes sense now.

That voice, how could I have not recognized it earlier? It's definitely that one person whom I should have never forgotten about: Remilia Scarlet.

Is she doing the same thing as Yuyuko did, calling me to my death to return home to Gensokyo?

Which is my true home now, Gensokyo or Europe?

My answer is… Patchouli looked at the entrance to her tent, which was still open. She could walk out anytime and find her place in the forest and nobody would ever find her. Or she could just sleep in for the night and go back to Europe with her mystery solved in the following days, but will her nightmares reign chaos in her sleep again?

A.N.: Aokigahara Forest first caught my attention in the album Retrospective in 53 Minutes by ZUN titled 'Legends of Aokigahara'. Renko (or Maribel, can't remember) had this bad feeling when they passed under the forest in the train system, and that sort of got me interested and I went on to research a little about Aokigahara Forest.

Also, an arranged version of the track was used in the doujin Concealed the Conclusion for the stage in Hakugyokurou, hence my decision to star Konpaku Youmu for this chapter. Apparently she had thought Reimu was the one calling out to her, but it turned out to be Yuyuko. So other than the last letter, the rest of them are still written to Reimu.

The run-down school dorm is an alternate universe version of the existing Kyoto University's Yoshida Dormitory (or so a fellow former on another site said), and does not, in any intended way, depict the actual school, dormitory or even the state itself.

Hijiri Byakuren and Kasodani Kyouko make guest star appearances in this chapter, as they appear only after the events of Subterranean Animism, so they don't really get their own chapters. I decided to put Patchy into this letter as I felt both non-Marisa magicians had letters that were totally out of line with the ones written by residents of the Yakumo Mansion, in order to fit them back in again. Whether I would do one for Alice remains to be seen.

Lastly, cliffhanger time! Will Patchy take her own life like Youmu did to return home? More importantly, did Youmu really managed to return to Gensokyo?