Ever thought of what a zombie's eternal life would bring?

Kukuku... These rabbits are really something. I'd normally not think about making outrageous crossovers and rather try to follow the mainstream, but the plots are popping up everywhere.

In this story, I'll let you imagine how a chainsaw-wielding, cross-dressing zombie will fare against beings known as Spirits.

In the meantime, I'm going to think about Deidara's mouth-hands and how he would use it to fap.

Second Story: Is This a Spirit?

In the year of 20XX...

Don't start asking me why I use the infamous XX's to hide the year. Would you give me a break? I've lived long enough that being forgetful about the year is tolerable.

Anyway, in this period of time, the world is threatened by the appearance of 'spacequakes'. It has been so since several years past, probably sixteen or eighteen years ago. It's a little different than earthquakes, in which spacequakes can occur anywhere at any time (they're not limited to the ground as earthquakes are) and are a lot more destructive. The biggest one occurred around sixteen years ago, which served as its debut appearance.

Since then, human beings begin to learn about them.

I don't really know the details, but we do learn one thing.

The spacequakes are a telltale sign of the appearance of a 'Spirit'.

What is a Spirit? Well, I myself have wondered about that as well, so I'm quite familiar with that problem. Sadly, being a 'normal' high school student, I hadn't been able come up with a proper explanation.

...Until now, that is.

I should've known not to get too curious about it. Just this morning when I asked Itsuka, a classmate of mine, for his opinion, he already told me not to get too involved with that sort of thing – saying it's too dangerous and stuff. Of course, I thought that he was exaggerating, but him trying tso dodge the subject every time I bring it up is pretty strange, so I changed my strategy. The stubborn part of me refused to sit back being ignorant and, as a result of mine's own curiosity, ended up stalking him.

However, I was once again reminded that, in this world, there are many secrets which are better left untouched

From that point on, the real life of Itsuka Shidou became clear to me.

"...Oi, oi...are you serious?"

—That was my first reaction when I saw Itsuka getting shot by...something.

At first, all I had done was just a simple stalking. Yes, I'm not afraid to admit it, but I stalked Itsuka as he was on a date with this new transfer student called Yatogami Tohka. She was a cheerful black-haired bishoujo, but you can easily relate her to an airhead character from a dating sim. Strangely enough, she was already head-over-heels with Itsuka (that sly bastard), which led me to believe that they were acquainted before this.

Honestly, that was all I thought. I just wanted to know how Itsuka and Yatogami came to be, so I simply followed them. Of course, I'm also doing this on behalf of the other jealous boys in our class. I'm sticking my neck out under the heat of the great sun here, so they better be grateful. It's a good thing I brought an umbrella today, otherwise I would really dry up.

Then, this happened.

—All of a sudden, when both of them went to a hill to see the sun set, Itsuka pushed Yatogami away and ended up getting shot.

A sniper? No matter where I look, I couldn't find any. But the football-sized hole in Itsuka's chest proved that he had indeed gotten shot by nothing short of an anti-tank rifle. Still, who would be crazy enough to shoot a normal high school boy with such a weapon? Did someone hold a grudge on him?

Even then, I didn't have time to think about that.

Yatogami, who also seemed to be having a hard time believing that Itsuka had been shot, slowly walked over to his body. I watched her as she uselessly draped her school blazer over him, not caring if it became stained by the pool of blood underneath it. She muttered something that I couldn't hear, which perhaps some words directed to Itsuka, but I can't be certain. Then, all of a sudden, she yelled out to the sky above.

"The world denied me!"

Yatogami raised her hand towards the sky and somehow, almost magically, black lightning came crashing down on her. I seriously thought she was going to die by the lightning strike, but no. Even stranger was the fact that her body suddenly lit up magnificently.

"Adonai Melek!"

She shouted out something that sounded religious, not that I know anything about it. Right after that, her clothes changed. She now wore what seemed to be a purple dress or battle armor...like something out of a game. Before I can comprehend what was happening before my eyes, she stomped on the ground and brought up something large from the ground. It rose behind her, something large and golden.

And, no, this is not a good time to make dirty jokes about it. I'm currently shitting myself here, so please understand my situation!

It was a throne of some sort. The black-haired beauty then jumped onto the throne and pulled something out. Is that...a sword?

"Sandalphon!"

A big-ass sword, or what you would call a buster sword. It was larger than Yatogami herself, so I was left wondering how in the world is she able to hold that up. Sera would've been baffled as well. Anyway, afterwards she stabbed that large sword into the throne, dragging it along and making a large cut...?

Is it me, or did that throne just shattered and merged with the earlier sword? And am I imagining it, or did that sword really became even bigger?!

"Halvanhelev!"

Enough with the names already! Just how much evolution stage are you going to go through?!

Ah, Yatogami's raising that sword up right now. It seemed so full of dark energy that it looked like it would burst any time now.

"How could you? How could you, how could you, how could you, how could you, HOW COULD YOU!?"

She was really pissed off. That dark energy I mentioned just now was released in a slash and flew towards a cliff several kilometers away, slashing it in two. Was that a Ge***ga Te*shou just now?!

It didn't make sense.

It didn't make any sense! Just what kind of person is Yatogami Tohka?!

She flew away even before I managed to confirm it. "Damn, this is getting too screwed up for me. Just what in the world is going on, dammit!"

I actually would love to hear an answer for my question... First things first, though, I have to get Itsuka out of here. I rushed over to him, leaving my umbrella behind. The sun's heat wasn't that unbearable anymore because it was already setting, so I didn't really need it anyway. As I got to Itsuka, I realize that this would take more than simply calling an ambulance.

"Ugh...uph..." I held back the urge to vomit as I saw the hole in his body. It was too grotesque for me to believe that it was real (Thank God for the T-rating that gave it mosaic). Nevertheless, this was the reality, and Itsuka really did get shot. He really was dead.

...Huh?

"Hey...what's this flame doing here?"

A trickle of flame lit up around Itsuka's wound. I tried putting it out, but I ended up nearly burning my hand.

"Hot! It's really hot! Eh...huh? The wound is...closing?"

The flame was sizzling like it was burning something, but instead of being burned, Itsuka's fatal wound was closing. The whole process felt so magical I had a hard time believing it. Is this natural? Or is it something else that I don't understand and was happening for some reason? I don't know, but one thing's very much certain, though...

Itsuka wasn't dead.

"Haa...haa...damn, that nearly gave me a heart attack. Don't suddenly go dying on me like that, sheesh."

I was glad that nothing further happened. It would be bad if Itsuka was caught dead when the whole class left me in charge of stalking him. Worst case scenario, they'd think that I killed him. And no, on the off-chance that I was that jealous of Itsuka for having a girlfriend, I wouldn't go as far as killing him.

—But anyway, I have to tell Yatogami about this.

...Speaking of which, that fairy-like girl was currently slashing away at something on a nearby cliff. Waves after waves of that black energy slashes flew from her oversized sword. Whatever she was fighting, it seemed she was going at it with the intent to kill.

I don't know why, but I felt a need to stop her.

If Itsuka's death was the cause of her rage, then maybe I can stop her by showing that he wasn't dead.

With that, I made my way to her place while dashing in full speed.

x o x o

Things turned out to be worse than I expected, though!

Yatogami's target turned out to be a white-haired girl in a skimpy mecha-like clothing. She was kneeling on the ground, unmoving, but there was an almost transparent barrier protecting her from the energy slashes.

What kind of sci-fi movie is this?!

...Wait.

That's... Tobiichi Origami?! That star student from my class? What the hell is she...

Argh, I give up. There are too much unexplained things happening here for me to complain about it!

Next to Tobiichi is a sniper rifle. The size of it was staggering; it's no doubt an anti-tank rifle. Could it be that she was the one who shot Itsuka? But...judging by how she wasn't moving and did nothing as Yatogami's attacks hit her constantly, was she feeling guilty about it?

In the first place, Itsuka got shot after pushing Yatogami away. Perhaps he got shot by accident, and the real target was Yatogami?

"...Kaaaah! This isn't the time to be thinking about it, but it confuses me to no end!"

Oh Gaia, why am I being put through this kind of mess again?

I would usually jump in without seeing left and right, but the situation was too bizarre for me to even do that. What should I do? Who should I fight? Should I fight Yatogami and stop her rampage? Or...seeing that Tobiichi attacked Itsuka, fight her and demand an explanation from her?

...God dammit.

"Just give me a break already!"

The answer was pretty obvious, now that I think about it.

What would demanding Tobiichi an explanation do if she dies? There's no way I can ask her anything if she ended up being slashed in two by Yatogami.

In that regard...

I need to stop Yatogami first!

Another slash is coming. Now's my chance!

"Die, die, die, DIE!"

As the sword was once again en route to Tobiichi's barrier thingy, I did what any desperate man in that kind of situation would do.

I punched the oversized sword from the side.

"200%!"

I shouted as my right fist hit on the side of Yatogami's sword. I don't mean to brag, but I managed to slightly divert the sword's trajectory and made it hit the ground beside Tobiichi. The scary thing was that it dug a hole at least half the sword's length. I wonder what would happen if a human body was put under it.

"What...?!" I heard Yatogami let out in surprise.

Still, 200% of arm muscle strength doesn't seem to be enough. All I could do was tilting the sword slightly. I think I'll have to go all out.

"You...you're a normal human? How did you...?"

Yatogami looked more surprised than I expected. It seemed like she never expected someone to be able to punch her sword away.

"...W-Wow, that's a rather cold greeting to a classmate. A ha ha..."

I tried to act cool, but ended up being too nervous to say anything more daring. But I think I can be cool enough by stepping in to save a girl like a hero like this. Speaking about saving a girl, it seemed Tobiichi finally noticed my presence.

"...You're..."

Oh?! Does she remember my name?!

"...Who are you?"

"This is disappointing somehow!?"

Ah, well, I can't expect someone like her to remember an underachieving student like me. Not that I would expect anything more out of it.

"A-Anyway, Yatogami! Stop this already! Even though Itsuka was shot, it's okay, because he's already—!"

"Shidou...?" Yatogami said, cutting me off. "That's right, Shidou...he was shot. Shidou was shot to death. Shidou died...he died, he died, he died, he died! That woman...she killed my Shidou!"

Uwa...talk about girl rage. I don't think she was listening to me up until the end; she was lost in her own world as it was.

Once again, she raised her sword high and let a mass of dark energy gather up around it. She was going to release another energy attack at point blank range?! What an unreasonable person!

"I'll never forgive her! I'll never forgive her even if she dies a hundred times!"

This is bad. At this range, both Tobiichi and I would be turned into tomato paste by the attack. I'll have to block that sword again.

"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"800%!"

—Once more.

Punching the sword from below, I once more blocked the sword and deflected it. However, the effect on my arm after that was horrifying, because it broke from the elbow down afterwards. I could literally feel my right arm dangling at my side.

"Ouchouchouchouch! That freaking hurts!"

"You... Are you really a normal human?" Behind me, Tobiichi asked this.

My arm was still hurting, but leaving her hanging with a question like that wouldn't be nice, so I stuffed the pain and explained.

"That's...not entirely correct," I paused and pulled my arm back into shape. This might sound strange, but the way I'm doing it might look like my elbow's joint was just dislocated. But, no, my entire arm had certainly broken apart.

Why am I able to fix myself like this?

"A normal human wouldn't be able to use enough muscle power to block that sword with a punch. Even if they want to, they simply can't because of their natural limiters."

"...Normally, a human's limit might measure up to 25 to bordering 50 percent."

"Yeah, that's right." I said while nodding, "I'm a zombie, though, so I don't have those limiters."

That's right.

I'm a zombie.

Because I'm a zombie, I am able to use the muscles in my body to its fullest extent, even to the point where I can double or triple that impossible limit. My muscles would tear apart afterwards, but they would heal later on. And besides, with a body that barely feels pain, that wouldn't exactly be a problem. The downside to being a zombie was that I couldn't stand the sunlight, though.

"Zom...bie?"

"The introductions can wait, for now we need to stop Yatogami! Itsuka is still alive and she's being angry for nothing!"

"Itsuka Shidou...is still alive?"

"Yeah, he is! So wipe that guilty look from your face and help me stop her already!"

Tobiichi's surprise last longer than I thought, but she complied and put her game face on immediately. It was a shame; I was still raveling in her rare moments of displaying emotions. I thought she was like Eu from the first glance, but I guess she wasn't that expressionless after all.

"What should I do?"

"...For now, I need something to shield us first. How long can your barrier keep holding off Yatogami's attacks?"

"Another minute...might be shorter."

"Then, twenty seconds will do. I...have to transform for a bit."

"? Transform?"

Even as a zombie, I wouldn't be able to ward off Yatogami for long. This body might be immortal, but she could easily disable me by cutting of my limbs one by one, and at that time Tobiichi would be left open. I need more power to restrain her.

...And if my worst guess is correct...

I might be standing face to face with a real Spirit.

"Put up the barrier now, Tobiichi!"

"...Right. Reconstructing barrier, now."

A faint transparent light engulfed us in a dome-like shape. Tobiichi said that she could only buy me time less than a minute, so I have to hurry myself.

"Mystletainn!"

What I shouted was not some nonsense gibberish; it was a name. It was a weapon's name.

That weapon's form was a pink chainsaw.

After it sailed through the sky and crash-landed beside me, I took hold of it and put it in front of me.

Tobiichi looked at me in confusion, "That's..."

"Just a little bit more, hang in there!"

I closed my eyes and began a magical chant that I've memorized for a long time. It was a spell that would enable to transform and change into a stronger me.

"Nomobuyo. Oshi. Hashitawa. Dokeda. Gunmicha. De, ribura!"

This might sound strange coming from me, but the transformation wasn't as epic as when Yatogami did it. Well, rather than that, it's better to say that her transformation suits her while mine don't.

The reason why is because I, a guy, had transformed into a magical existence known as a Masou Shoujo (Magiclad Girl).

In other words, my transformation made me cross-dress as a magical girl with a frilly pink dress, complete with pink beret and gloves.

In a way, this was really embarrassing.

Tobiichi, who stood in front of me, looked back and widened her eyes at my new form.

"...Can it be that you..."

Oh? Does she know about Masou Shoujo?

"...are a pervert?"

"I'm once again disappointed!"

This wasn't the first time I was mistaken as a pervert because of my transformation. It's not like I could do anything about it, either! I didn't want to turn into a frill-covered magical girl in the first place! This is all Haruna's fault!

"More importantly, I'm ready now. Leave the rest to me!"

"...But, against the 'Princess', you can't fight her alone."

"Don't worry about it. The current me is much stronger than the me from several minutes ago."

And that was true.

Changing into a Masou Shoujo didn't only give me immunity towards the sunlight, but it enhanced my overall strength as well. It had something to do with magic.

Tobiichi wasn't entirely convinced, but she nodded in compliance and moved away. Now it was just me against Yatogami. To note, she still looked pissed off beyond reckoning.

"...Sheesh. Would you just calm down for a second and hear what I have to say?"

Yatogami's reply was simple.

"You...you helped that wench who killed Shidou. You're her ally, aren't you? Unforgivable...you're unforgivable as well!" She declared that while raising her sword once more.

"I figured as much..." In response, I readied my chainsaw, Mystletainn, and let the magic-powered engine roar to life.

The battle was starting.

I figured that the winner would be decided by who attacks first, so I attacked.

Jumping up to meet Yatogami's height as she was hovering on the air, I front-flipped multiple times while raising my right leg high.

"Mystletainn Kick!"

Yatogami prepared to block with her sword, but I knew for certain that she got confused by the attack's name. Because, although it was named 'Mystletainn Kick', I brought down my chainsaw rather than my foot.

"?! It's not a kick...?!"

As my chainsaw clashed with Yatogami's oversized sword, sparks flew everywhere before our eyes. This was truly an intense battle.

. . .

Ah, there's a good chance I'll die after this, so it might take a while to revive afterwards. So perhaps I better introduce myself now rather than later.

My name is Aikawa Ayumu.

I'm a zombie. Also, a Masou Shoujo.

Well, another crazy idea thought up. I'm beginning to think that getting crazy isn't so bad after all.

But anyway, for those who didn't know, that was a crossover idea for [Date A Live] and [Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?]. It's supposed to be a humor-filled story, with KZD being involved and all. I initially thought about making Ayumu a Spirit as well, but I then read that Spirits were supposed to an all-girls stuff. Thus, I revoked the idea and made him just a zombie and a Magiclad Girl.

...Kehehe, though he might be mistaken for a Spirit in the end. It'd be funny to see Kotori forcing Shidou to capture Ayumu because of that kind of misunderstanding. Kehehe, this story might even get fujoshi readers who like BL...

Wait.

NO. I'm sorry, that's a definite no-no. Although it'd be funny, please refrain from yaoi!