You know, after dealing with multiple ridiculous monstrosities in life, you ought to have a little bit of a monster of a mind yourself. In my case, the byproduct of that is this equally ridiculous crossover.

And I thought my idea bag could restrain the plot bunnies... Oh, whatever.

Well then, ladies and gentlemen! Though doing this might make me look like I don't give a shit about my other projects, let me introduce you to a crossover birthed from plot bunnies that tentacle-rape their human prey before eating them!

...Actually, that made me sound like too much of a maniac.

Third Story: The True Meaning of a Monster

The world is wrong.

That is what I was led to believe. Or at least, that is what most people think.

This became the thought of almost all people that walked on this very Earth. Whether they're a waiter, a police officer, a boss of some high-end company, or just some lowly thug, at some point of their life they had that kind of thought.

They aren't wrong. But they are not exactly right, either.

In my opinion, the world is simply misunderstood.

As we walk on this misunderstood world, it's only natural for us to become misunderstood. There is nothing wrong with us or the world as a whole; we're just misunderstood.

That is what I truly believe.

But no one has to believe in what I believe. I'm just a nobody that consequently gets into trouble and, like all other people, I'm frequently misunderstood.

No one would understand a problem child that causes nothing but trouble. No one would understand an orphan who didn't have any relative. No one would understand a brother who lost his sister to a gang of hoodlums.

In retrospect, I should've tried harder and made myself easier to understand. Even so, I was born an orphan, so I had little time to learn how to do it.

The only people who could understand me...well, they would have to be misunderstood people like me.

In reality, that was exactly what happened.

All alone in Japan's capital city of Tokyo, I was saved by a misunderstood family.

I was saved by a family of ghouls.

Even as a kid as I was that time, I had knowledge of them. They were supposed to be man-eating monsters, I had thought. I've watched the news, how there were many types of ghouls and how all of them survive by eating human flesh. At first, I was frightened, being a human myself. The thought of being eaten by beings that resemble humans shook me so much I almost threw up.

Only...they were different.

The family that saved me was different. Of course, I should've realized that sooner. What kind of ghoul would save a human in the first place? What kind of ghoul would shelter a human in their home without actually eating them? What kind of ghoul would protect that same human boy from other ghouls, losing their lives in the process?

It was around that time that I started to believe that the world is just misunderstood, not wrong.

People...humans fear ghouls because they eat humans.

Then what does that make the ghoul family that saved me?

Because, compared to the people that ignored me as they pass along the streets, they were more human.

...

Compared to this ghoul investigator who had a manic smile on his face...

They were very much more human indeed.

I mean, what kind of human would try and slash a woman's head off?

"I get that a ghoul investigator's job is to exterminate ghouls, but seriously. Executing a woman using her husband's kagune? You have a bad sense of humor, 'ttebayo."

Normal logic wouldn't usually apply to ghouls, but my common sense screamed at how wrong that method was nonetheless.

The white-haired ghoul investigator's manic smile didn't disappear. If anything, it widened even more, and that one eye that he opened wider than the other was starting to give me the creeps.

"Aah? Yet another ghoul appearing? You filthy creatures do pop up continuously like the scum you are, keh he he he."

I really don't like the way he laugh.

"I could say the same to you. What are you ghoul investigators doing here in the first place? Isn't the other wards enough entertainment for you fuckers?"

"Well, well, I can't actually disclose any information, but it seems this ward is becoming more and more interesting." The man's right hand slightly shook his weapon, a quinque, and let it jingle around a bit. It's a bikaku-type quinque, I notice. Its shape would've made Kubo **te scream "copyright infringement". As if weapons impersonating Zabimaru wasn't too many already.

Quinques are weapons taken from a ghouls kagune, while kagune itself is an organ unique only to ghouls, so basically, one would have to extract that organ out of a dead ghoul if they want to make a quinque.

That knowledge alone cemented the fact that 'that person'...is already dead.

"But what's thiiis? I didn't expect a big-shot like you to be playing around here. I would've thought a troublemaking ghoul like you would hang out in the 11th or the 24th...right, Knight?"

'Knight'.

That was my codename amongst CCG's ghoul investigators.

For some reason, I'm being mistaken for a ghoul. Not that I mind, since I am actually on their side in this kind of situation. But they really haven't figured out that I'm not a ghoul, have they? This world is more misunderstood than I thought.

The big guy next to the creepily-smiling old man, undoubtedly another ghoul investigator, looked surprised at the revelation.

"Blonde hair, medium build, a red sword and a black shield, and that mask...it really is the Knight."

"That's right, Amon-kun! We've came across a big fish this time!"

"...My apologies. I should've made preparations for this kind of outcome."

"No need to worry, Amon-kun," said the white-haired investigator with a sneer. "Getting surprises from time to time helps you train your instincts as well. Let this one be a lesson for tomorrow onwards."

Nodding to his senior, the big guy opened his suitcase and drew his own quinque. It was a huge, halberd-like weapon with a blunt end which was shaped like an oil drum.

I ground my teeth.

I was up against two investigators who had their own quinque. Fighting elites like them would prove too much even for me, and I'm not confident enough to say I'm able to fight them while protecting someone behind my back.

"Ryoko-san..." I called to the woman behind me.

"Y-Yes?"

It seemed like she was still shaken. Not that I could blame her; she was almost killed. Moreover, she just found out that her husband was killed and remodeled into a weapon. I was impressed that she didn't snap through all that.

"I can hold them off for a few minutes. At that time, run away as far away as you can."

The woman, Ryoko-san, widened her eyes in shock. "Run? But what about you?! You're up against those Doves, there's nothing you can do!"

"Oi, oi, you make it sound like I have no chance of winning. Cut me some slack, will you? It would take more than that Accelerator look-alike and his too-big bodyguard to take me down."

"But...!"

I gave Ryoko-san a glance from my shoulder. For some reason, I thought that her kagune which was shaped like a butterfly's wings would help me in a fight, but that's preposterous. I won't ask a mother to fight and risk her life when her daughter's around.

"Hinami-chan is waiting for you. I won't let you die here and make her cry afterwards. Crying girls are my weakness, 'ttebayo."

"But, Naruto-kun—!"

"Run."

There's no way I'm taking no for an answer.

"I still have a debt to repay to the ghoul family that saved me. If I let you die now, I won't be able to look at them in the eye."

Ryoko-san hesitated a little before nodding and turning to leave. She casted another look at me and said, "Be sure to come back."

"Tell the manager to brew me a cup of coffee. Fighting two ghoul investigators is worth that much, at least."

I might be bluffing. I couldn't tell at the time.

But I know one thing for sure.

I'll stop these ghoul investigators...these monsters who threatened my current family.

"Done with the melodramatic play? Heh! I swear, you ghouls try so hard at copying human emotions that it sickens me."

"Haven't you looked at yourself in the mirror, old man? You try so hard at copying a horse's anus that your face is starting to look like one."

When excited, my tongue seems to run on its own. I'm surprised I even have this talent.

"Keh...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! INTERESTING! It seems that not only you don't fear death, you're asking to die right here and now! Very well...I'll exterminate you and take those two quinque from you. If I'm lucky, I might even take your kagune as well! !"

"Just try, you fucking rip-off."

In my right hand was a red broadsword, pulsating as if it was alive; a bikaku-type quinque, [Jaëger]

I took it from my ghoul father's kagune remains.

Attached to my left arm was a black glove fused with a black shield with an intimidating motive, power coursing through its veins; a koukaku-type quinque, [Kurosaki]

I took it from my ghoul mother's kagune remains.

I inherited their strength. Me, a normal human being...though using these two weapons so casually passes me off as anything but normal.

And this time, I'll protect what I hold precious.

"I'll teach you not to mess with a family."