"EVA" - talking

'EVA' - thoughts

Genesis and Requiem

Chapter 3

Tenshi[1]

After School

Shinji and I are on our way back to the apartment after hanging out with Kensuke and Touji at the arcade.

"That was fun."

"Hontou?"

"Meeting Kensuke and Touji and playing arcade games with them was, not school itself."

Rei comes running up to us out of nowhere.

"There is an emergency pilot Ikari. Come to NERV immediately, Kitajima-san you are granted access to NERV as well due to your affiliation with Captain Katsuragi."

After having said that she runs off.

"Tomoe, let's go."

"Okay, you lead the way."

Time Skip

Inside NERV at Central Dogma

As soon as I arrive Misato notices me, looking away from observing Central Dogma's main display.

"Oh good, you're here Tomoe," Misato says, obviously relieved. She looks back at the super-sized monitor where the image of the fifth angel, Ramiel, is displayed.

"So, you guys are fighting a floating, blue octahedron this time?"

"That's what it's called? And yes, we are fighting it."

"It seems like it would be more likely that the angel has long-range attacks, considering it has no appendages of which to strike opponents," I say, trying to warn Misato in a subtle way as to not hint to my knowledge on the angels. I'm still not sure which version this world more closely follows.

"Yeah, but we don't know for certain. The angels are unpredictable."

That much is certainly true.

"Sho-goki [2] is ready to deploy," the bridge bunny I recognize as Makoto Hyuga reports.

"Launch!"

"A high energy reading is detected from the target," Aoba Shigeru yells from his station. I feel my heart drop to my gut.

"Is that even possible," Ritsuko exclaims in surprise.

"No! Shinji dodge," Misato screams.

Right as Sho-goki appears on the surface it is struck by a laser from the transformed Ramiel. At least now I know what version of the anime it conforms to. Shinji's agonized cries echo throughout Central Dogma, chilling my bones.

"Erect a barrier!"

As the barrier goes up Ramiel changes shape again and fires a more powerful beam that goes straight through the barrier and hits Sho-goki again. Shinji's screams reach a crescendo making me feel the not-so-unfamiliar emotion of terror for him.

"Bring him back in!"

"We can't, the catapult has melted," Makoto shouts.

Misato pauses a moment before ordering, "Eject the entry-plug!"

We hear a deep voice rarely heard in NERV only associated with Commander Ikari say, "Belay that order."

"But sir, the pilot will die at this rate!"

"Without the entry-plug Sho-goki's A.T. Field would disappear resulting in the loss of Sho-goki, putting us in a precarious situation," Ritsuko informs us dispassionately.

Misato orders them to blow specific charges in the city block Shinji and Sho-goki is located at to bring it down into the Geo-Front.

"What's the status of the pilot," Ritsuko questions Makoto.

"His pulse is going into atrial fibrillation."

"Activate the plug-suit's life-support, give him a heart massage."

"Pulse confirmed, it's weak but stable."

"Good, now eject the entry-plug and expel the LCL so that the recovery team can retrieve the pilot."

Time Skip

NERV's Medical Wing

I'm sitting by Shinji's side holding his hand. I know he'll be okay but I'm still worried for him. Rei is sitting on the other side of his bed waiting for him to wake so she can give him the new mission parameters. Hopefully he won't react too badly, but that's just really wishful thinking knowing Shinji.

"Why do you linger Kitajima-san," Rei inquires with her soft voice.

"Kizuna [3]."

"I see."

"Why do you pilot EVA Ayanami-san?"

"It bonds me to everyone."

I smile at her and reply, "I understand."

"You do?"

"Hai, EVA is your purpose and has allowed you to be able to interact with other people such as Commander Ikari. Am I wrong?"

"No."

"I hope to become friends with you."

"Friends? If I am ordered to."

Shinji begins to stir in his bed. "Shinji-kun will wake soon."

"That is good."

Shinji's eyes open slowly, then he suddenly jumps into sitting position, did I forget to mention he's naked because the blanket is barely covering… that place.

"Oh… Rei what are you doing here?"

"At 0000 hours Operation Yashima starts, schedule is as follows:

Pilots Ikari and Ayanami are to report to Terminal 2 at 1930 hours today. At 2000 hours we get into position with Sho-gokiand Zero-goki [4]. At 2005 hours we launch. At 2030 hours we arrive at Fortress 2 on Mount Futago. After that, standby until further orders tomorrow, when the date changes, the operation will commence."

"Your meal," as Rei speaks she opens the drawer in the portable station she had brought, revealing a pre-made meal.

"I don't feel like eating anything."

"You should, we are departing in 90 minutes."

"They expect me to get in that thing again?"

"They do."

Shinji looks downward, saying, "I've had enough. I don't ever want to be so scared again. Scared sick… and I can't even run away." His hand's grip on mine tightens.

"You're scared of EVA? Then why don't you stay in bed?"

"Stay in bed?" He looks up at Rei confused.

"I'll pilot Sho-goki," she states simply before getting up and heading to the door.

"Ayanami", Shinji shouts in worry, moving toward her and revealing… I think you know what I'm talking about.

Rei stops, saying, "You might want to acquire clothing before leaving the Medical Wing. Saiyonara [5]."

"Ehhh, what abou…," he looks down and quails; his squeak echoing off the walls.

Then, at long last, he notices that I'm holding his hand. He looks at me in mortification, trying to cover himself in the sheets, stuttering uncontrollably. He's most likely trying to formulate an apology for his… indecent exposure.

"It's okay. Not like you knew until now. Will you be okay?"

He visibly relaxes a bit, still glancing at our hands.

"Gomennasai [6], am I making you uncomfortable?"

"N-no, it's just that…," he looks down at our joined hands again, "I'm not used to it."

"That's okay. About my previous question?"

"Oh, I'll be fine… I think."

I look him over for a second. His posture is slouched, eyes not meeting mine and he just overall seems tired and somewhat unsettled.

"If you ever need anything or just someone to talk to, I'm here."

"…Arigatou."

The room falls silent again for a few moments, then Shinji asks, "Do you think it's wrong of me to refuse to pilot that thing?"

"I can't truly judge your actions. You are the one who ultimately decides what is wrong or right for yourself. I can only tell you to follow your heart; it usually knows where to go."

"But what if I make the wrong choice!?"

I clasp his hand tightly in both of mine, look him in the eyes and say, "No matter what you do, even if I don't agree, I'll support your decision."

Shinji looks like he's on the verge of crying.

"How can you be so nice to me! All you've done since we've met is be nice. It's impossible for anyone to like me and be kind to me!"

"That's not true."

"Yes it is! I'm a liar, deceitful, mean… I'm a bad person! How can you be so nice to me!?"

"Because I don't see Shinji like that. The Shinji I see is sweet and caring. Even though it hasn't been long since we've met I've come to like you. You may not be perfect, no one is, but you're not a bad person. No matter what you do my perception of you won't change."

Shinji begins to sob, hot tears streaking down his cheeks. I gently pull him to me and hold him. He burrows into my shoulder, tears soaking through my shirt. "I was so scared," Shinji sobs, "It hurt so bad, I thought it would never end."

'He's trembling badly.' I pull him closer to me so I can hold him tighter.

"I don't know what to do. I'm scared to pilot, but everyone expects me to."

"Are you afraid to die," I ask.

"Huh," Shinji looks up at me, confused. At least he's only got a bad case of the sniffles now.

"Are you afraid of death?"

"O-of course I am."

"I'm not sure if you can think of it this way, but I'll share my point of view anyway. If you don't pilot you'll most likely die, but, if you do you have a fighting chance to survive. It's not just your own life either, your precious people and everyone else could die too."

"Are you scared of death, Tomoe?"

"Hai, it terrifies me."

"Why?"

"Because I don't know if my precious people are okay; and if they're alive they are most likely mourning me and I don't want that. And who's to say what's after death." 'The second time will probably be different in that I'm not reborn.'

"I'm scared of death because it usually means I'll be in pain. I'm a coward."

"No, that's a natural reaction to the thought of death. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Here is my advice: don't let your fear weigh you down, let it propel you forward."

"You think I can do that Tomoe?"

"I have faith in you."

"Arigatou."

"Doushite [7]?"

"You saved me from my doubts and fear."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm the pilot of Sho-goki. I'm going to fight alongside Ayanami."

Time Skip

I'm inside the NERV bunker serving as a temporary command center for this operation. Ibuki, Hyuga, and Shigeru are intently observing their screens, making sure everything is going accordingly while Misato stands as the figure of authority in the makeshift command center. Shinji is at the sniper's position with Rei on standby to act as his shield when necessary.

"Operation start!"

All of Tokyo-3's defensive batteries begin their assault on Ramiel, the fifth angel. Of course, they can't actually harm the angel, it's only to distract it while the rifle Misato 'borrowed' is charging. The bunker has descended into a cacophony as everyone is yelling orders and statistics.

Finally the go ahead is given for the rifle. It shoots out across the lake at the same time as one of Ramiel's beams. They avoid each other and continue on to their designated targets. Right as the angel is struck in the side we get shook up by its attack that grazed Sho-goki, leaving everything except for its right shoulder pylon intact.

Misato asks, "What's our status."

"We're operational," reports Makoto Hyuga.

"Can Sho-goki fire another shot?"

"Yes, but the pilot…," he trails off as the feed from Sho-goki is shown to us.

Over our communications array we hear Commander Ikari order, "Delegate Sho-goki's duties to Zero-goki."

"No, he hasn't backed out of it yet. We still have a chance. Please believe in your own son," Misato pleads with the commander.

"Do as you wish."

"Arigatou gozaimasu."

The monitors show that Sho-goki has already gotten back into position, but Ramiel is already firing prompting Zero-goki to come out and shield the other EVA.

We all hold our breath as Sho-goki's second shot rings out. It strikes true and the fifth angel finally dies looking a bit like a Christmas ornament from hell that crumbles into a flood of blood. Everyone begins cheering as I run out of the bunker and sprint the entire mile and a half to the lake where the EVAs are. As I reach them I see Shinji struggling with Rei's entry-plug escape hatch. I join him and help pry it open. Shinji runs in crying out Ayanami's name.

Ayanami asks, "Why are you crying?"

"Because I'm relieved."

"Gomennasai, I don't know what to do at times like this."

"Why don't you try smiling?"

Rei looks up at us and smiles. It's very pretty. Then Shinji looks at me inquisitively. "Weren't you at the NERV bunker?"

"Yes… but as soon as… you killed… the angel… I ran here," I wheeze out as I pant from over exerting myself. 'I really need to work out more.'

He looks out over the distance I ran in disbelief. "How…"

"When I'm motivated I'm fast. Besides I was worried about you guys," I say, having finally regained my breath.

"You are very fast Kitajima-san," Rei comments.

"Arigatou."

Shinji says, "Let's go home."

"Yeah, you both deserve to rest."

-Chapter End-

Raziel's Glossary of Japanese and Random Things:

1) Tenshi- Angel

2 & 4) Sho-goki and Zero-goki- Unit-01 and Unit-00

3) Kizuna- Bond

5) Saiyonara- Goodbye

6) Gomennasai- A polite apology

7) Doushite- Why/What for