A/N 1: Please read the disclaimers from Chapter 1 before proceeding.
A/N 2: Again, all italicized lines are references to dialogues uttered in the past. So hope it doesn't get too confusing.
A/N 3: I know this might look like one of those really morose fics, but I'm a sucker for happy endings so be rest assured there is hope and happiness in the end.
A/N 4: Thank you to all those who commented, hope I can keep up to your expectations. Un-betaed, so all mistakes are mine.
"I sustain myself with the love of family."
― Maya Angelou
23rd July, 2009
1.03 p.m.
Jim's Shanghai
Chinatown, Manhattan
Miranda comes here because she feels safe. Safe to think about Andy and everything she misses.
So just like they did every Thursday, when Andy was there, the twins and Miranda made their way to that hideous food-joint in Chinatown which Andy emphasized was the 'best thing in the world.'
Of course soon it did become one of the greatest things in the world, atleast to the twins, and secretly to Miranda. This place holds too many memories, inerasable and fleeting and much too wonderful.
So they come here. Miranda's assistant whose name she doesn't remember keeps this slot free for her, without fail, because Christine and Emily and Nigel all make sure that she does so. Miranda knows that this is the only form of true happiness she can give the twins these days; of course there are the incessant gifts which she showers them with. But they're bigger now at 14 and much too older for their years anyway, so the gifts are just a pathetic substitute for whatever it is that Miranda thinks they crave.
Caroline and Cassidy look forward to Thursdays. Every Thursday is a treat. Jim's Shanghai is the only remnant from that part of their lives that they remember as happy. They know that their mother tries, tries to give them all the happiness, shield them from the grief, just like Andy did. Except Andy was better at it. She managed to keep them happy. Truly happy. By doing things, things like this-lunch at small places, playing at local video game parlours, going to theme parks and every other ridiculous thing Andy did with her dad when she was a kid she did with them.
They miss Andy dearly, but that night from last March is seared all too well in their fourteen year old minds.
And don't try to contact my children. That's all.
And that had been that for them. They hadn't heard from Andy since that night in March. They sometimes try to read those articles in their Mom's study, safely stacked away in a corner, all bearing the same by line in them. By Andy Sachs. They don't understand much of it, but somehow they feel safer knowing Andy, their Andy is safe, somewhere.
Today's one of those days when it's sunny and bright and you're supposed to feel happy, but Miranda is anything but. That scene from two weeks back keeps playing in her mind, again and again- the little boy, Andrea, the St. Bernard, things that were once hers.
No matter how many times she tries to push it back, it comes back to haunt her again and again. She didn't tell the girls about her meeting of course.
So while the girls get their plates laden with dim sums and tell her about their week, Miranda sits there half listening half somewhere else.
And then the air shifts, not like when Miranda enters a room and the temperature dips and suddenly everything goes quiet, this feels more like a sudden infusion of warmth, and the chimes near the door ring, somebody enters.
And Miranda knows, she knows Andy is here again, she can feel it in her bones.
As Andy enters the deli a thousand memories rush back, she hasn't been here since the last Thursday of February last year. She's tried too hard to move on but it's been a difficult year, only Chris's presence has helped her survive.
She is afraid to fall back in love with all these things from the past, Jessie and Christopher are enough for her. She's learnt to let go and make new memories, but these past few weeks, ever since she met Miranda, the older memories keep consuming her whole. This place is bringing back memories which she thought she no longer remembers, but which after all have been there all along.
She'll learn to make new memories here too, and she looks around the place to take it in while balancing Chris on her hip.
She sees Chris pointing a finger at something and she presumes its one of the savouries but as her eyes reach the spot she sees Miranda Priestly staring back at them, face as white as paper.
Andy has this immense urge to rush out of the restaurant that second and run away from everything that connects her back to this woman. However Chris is already wriggling in her arms and so she lets go of him while her eyes still stay fixed on the older woman who is still looking back with that blank expression on her face.
Before Andy knows it Chris is out of her arms and running towards Miranda. He had asked about Miranda when they had gone back from the park the other day, apparently he had taken a serious liking towards her 'snowy hair'. Andy had averted talking much about her by indulging him in a bag of doughnuts.
When she had made the decision of moving up here she knew that her chances of bumping into Miranda had increased but she didn't expect this to happen so frequently. She'd never in a million years think that Miranda would keep visiting this joint much after Andy's departure. Then she reasons out that perhaps the twins had forced her to which brought her to the question of where the twins were.
And then her eyes fall on the two red heads sitting at the table with Miranda facing away from her.
There is a sudden commotion and she can't see Miranda anymore. She sees the red heads turn back and look towards something. For a moment her heart fills with joy at their sight, it's been over a year since she last saw them. They look older and prettier, so much like their mother. She can of course recognize which is who- and for a moment she somehow feels as if she sees herself in them.
She tears her vision away from them to look at what they're looking at so curiously.
At first she only sees the snowy haired woman bent over something and then her eyes focus on something in her arms. Her boy, her son is lying in Miranda's arms and crying. He must have hit one of the furnitures and fallen down.
Almost spontaneously she rushes to the spot and she sees that he's bleeding near his left eye. She kneels down to inspect the cut while he keeps crying in Miranda's arms who's uttering non-sensical baby language to get him to keep quiet. She's glad someone else is there because Andy's mind has stopped working.
'Mommy my head hurts.' Chris wails while clinging onto Miranda's blouse.
We can't lose him.
'We need to take him to the hospital, this needs stitches.' Miranda says while looking up at Andy but keeping her grip tight around the boy. Miranda's eyes are shining with what Andy thinks are unshed tears.
We.
Andy nods vigorously while Miranda lifts him up in her arms.
The twins who've now managed to reach the spot seem to be utterly and completely clueless and flabbergasted. Here is their Andy looking as Andy as ever and then there is this boy who's got those blue eyes and is calling Andy mommy and then there is their Mom who seems determined to make sure the little boy is alright.
Their mother is already making her way towards the door with Andy trailing behind. Cassidy rushes and takes one of Andy's hands who looks down unseeingly and gives the little girl's hand a light squeeze. Caroline is quick to hold open the door for Miranda with all the strength she has.
That threat from last year seems a galaxy behind. And don't try to contact my children. That's all.
Because Miranda herself has broken it by taking Chris in her arms while Andy holds onto Cassidy for strength.
Andy has never seen this much blood on Chris and she knows it's gonna be fine because her head tells her that but she's shit scared in her heart.
We can't lose him.
Suddenly she has an armful of Chris as Miranda thrusts him onto Andy and get's into the driver's seat of her red Porsche and mutters a hasty 'GET IN.'
And of course Andy obeys her and gets into the front seat while the twins clamber in at the back. And in a minute Miranda whizzing past cars and sifting through busy rush hour New York traffic.
'Don't let him fall asleep,' Miranda's voice breaks, then 'keep talking to him,' she says in a stern, detached voice.
The twins dare not say a word although their minds are bursting with questions.
'Hey buddy, where does it hurt?' Andy manages while stroking a thumb across his cheek.
'Head!' he says faintly.
'For godsake Andrea, talk about something else.' Andy looks at Miranda whose eyes are focused on the road but her face is beet red. And... and... she's crying.
Shit.
Andy wonders what's making Miranda cry- she has an idea of course- it can't be Chris because he isn't that hurt and he's not even Miranda's son, although...no, Miranda is crying because, because and Andy cannot get herself to remember why because she fears that even she'd start crying.
And that she can't, not when Chris is in her lap, she needs to be brave for his sake, make him believe it's gonna be okay.
She muses that it had always been that way. Miranda would start out strong and then break down while Andy played the reverse role. It worked well mostly but then one night in March it stopped working altogether.
'Mommy I feel sleepy.' Chris slurred.
'Yeah sweetpea, we're here, it'll be fine. Tell-'
'If you're gonna be a good boy and recite Twinkle Twinkle Little Star Mommy is gonna buy you ice-cream' Miranda cut in as she glared at Andy through glassy eyes. Andy cringed.
And just like his mother, Chris too obeyed Miranda and started reciting the poem. The pain and disorientation made him forget words which were provided by Caroline and Cassidy and occasionally by Andy. And even before the rhyme was over they were in the emergency ward of the New York Presbyterian where he was wheeled into the operation theatre as soon as they saw who was with them.
While the doctors stitched up the wound the four of them waited outside the operation theatre.
You'll please wait here; the doctors are working on him the nurse told a frazzled Andy who held onto a shell shocked Miranda.
The twins were still scared to even utter a word but once the doctor had assured that Chris would be fine once it was all stitched up Andy felt much more at ease and she turned to regard the girls. Her girls. The ones she had come to love as her own. She remembers the first few months when everything she did with Chris would remind her of them.
They're sitting in their bench in their not so identical frocks quietly regarding the woman they had come to accept as their mentor, friend, companion and almost a second mother. A stable source of joy and entertainment.
'You both have gone so big. Look at you being pretty.' She hugs them and smells in their scent and mumbles 'I've missed you.'
And they huddle into her, and just keep clinging onto her and mumble 'we missed you too'. When they disentangle themselves their eyes are watery and so are Andy's. She feels a need to explain, tell them about everything and all this while Miranda just stares blankly at them without even uttering a single word.
'Chris..Christopher' she nods towards the operation theatre, 'and I moved up here a few weeks back because my office is closer from here. I adopted him last year in July.' They're old enough to know the truth, so she offers it plainly to them. And then she doesn't know what more to say, so she adds 'how have you been?'
'Great' they chorus and Andy knows they're not interested in talking about themselves but would rather want to know more about Chris, where they're staying, would they see her again, will she come to the townhouse, where did she find Chris, why does he have blue eyes and brown hair and so many of the other questions that their faces betray. And sadly Andy doesn't have the answer to most of them.
As if on cue the OT door opens and the doctor comes to her rescue, 'He's fine. Just a few stitches. He's still unconscious so he might have a slight concussion when he wakes up. Nothing too serious. You can see him once we shift him to a room' he addresses Miranda directly and ignores the rest of them before he takes off his gloves and walks away.
Miranda turns her head sideways to look at Andy and does the familiar 'eyebrow raise' as if to tell Andy 'did you hear the doctor, you were fussing unnecessarily'. As if.
Andy walks upto where Miranda is standing and takes her in. She looks tired just like the way she had looked two weeks back and her make-up had been good enough to hide the dark circles until she cried and ruined it. Her expensive cream chiffon blouse is ruined with little patches of dried blood on it.
Andy doesn't know how to thank her for being there and helping her out with Chris so she stupidly points at the blouse and says 'Umm, I can pay for the..umm...dry-cleaning' and even before the words are out of her mouth she knows what a grave mistake she has committed.
Andrea never talk to me about money or fight with me over it. Understood
Oh she had understood alright, so what happened tonight? She sees Miranda's face going red and her left eye twitches. And for a moment there is that flicker of hurt in her eyes which changes into contempt the next second.
She turns on her heels and walks past her like a hurricane muttering a stern 'Come girls' after her.
The twins look back at her, and all she can do is nod her head sideways to tell them she's sorry but they can't do anything and their mother is long out of sight, so they follow suit.
And like that, just like that Andy is left waiting alone in the hospital ward. Alone. As usual.
Thanks for reading. Reviews would be the greatest thing in the world because it's that one thing writers require to keep them going.