A/N 1: Please read disclaimers from chapter 1 before proceeding.
A/N 2: I won't give you pathetic excuses for the extreme lack of updates, but know that I'm really sorry! I've been trying to sort out my life.
A/N 3: Thanks a million for the reviews!
Un-betaed so all mistakes are mine.
"I know that pain is the most important thing in the universes. Greater than survival, greater than love, greater even than the beauty it brings about. For without pain, there can be no pleasure. Without sadness, there can be no happiness. Without misery there can be no beauty. And without these, life is endless, hopeless, doomed and damned."
-Harlan Ellison
2nd August 2007
6:30 a.m.
Townhouse
Master Bedroom
Andy's hand suffered a major blow when Miranda all but ripped it from across her abdomen and thrust it aside while she hauled herself up from bed and almost broke open their bathroom door before emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet.
'Oh gosh!' Andy exclaimed as she dashed in after Miranda still half sleepy on her two wobbly feet, as she stared at her wife vomiting vigorously and waving her hands towards Andrea, gesturing her to go away.
'No! Umm, I'll help, I can do this!' she says and grabs a washcloth from the bathroom vanity, soaks and wrings it in water and puts in on Miranda's neck.
'Umm-umm—this should help-the books say so—I'm—I'm also supposed to give you crackers and saltines, I have them sta-'
' . . We're in the bathroom for godss-' and another bout of vomiting.
Oops. Andy still has a lot to learn. First hand.
She grabs a box of tissues and gives them to Miranda who flushes the toilet and accepts it.
'Welcome to your new life—I promise you, all that you will be is disappointed—all those starry eyed speeches of how beautiful and perfect I am will be replaced by how disgusting and fat I am. I won't blame you of course; I hope the books are telling you all this.'
Andy doesn't say anything, instead she helps Miranda stand up and waits for her to rinse her face. Once she is done, she looks directly into Andy's face who's still just standing there with this unreadable look on her face. Miranda raises an eyebrow, demanding an explanation or some small talk apparently.
Andy just grins and plants a chaste kiss on her nose leaving Miranda wide-eyed.
'Of course, they also talk about how expecting mothers start glowing and look like angels' Andy puts a hand on Miranda's abdomen which is still pretty much flat, except for the faintest of swell, 'and with time as the little one grows inside them they even let you talk to them and feel their kicks; and then when they have their crazy midnight cravings, they'll be so cute and whiny and grumpy you'll want to kiss them senseless.' Andy smirks.
Miranda opens her mouth to say something but can't seem to get her words out, instead she keeps staring at Andrea who grins like an idiot 'Miranda-0; Andy-1? Oh, I can go on.' And she kisses Miranda's nose again easily, the benefits of being taller.
Miranda stares red faced-either embarrassed or aroused or even a tad bit annoyed.
Andy makes her way downstairs to prepare a tray of saltines and lemonade but smirks over her shoulder and says, 'Don't worry I'll get you through this.'
Miranda just stands there marveling at her good fortune.
Andy's new to all this, she's never done the baby thing before, Miranda has, and of course she knows it isn't easy but she can see Andy's perseverance and support and her readiness to learn more . She's naive, yes, but after everything Miranda thinks, her Andy is definitely capable of pulling her through this.
It's like the Gods really want to test how much Andy's promise to her lover is sincere because getting through each day gets tougher and tougher.
Everything around her is a maze as she walks through the days operating almost mechanically- seeing off the girls to school, going to office, being called at odd hours of the day as Miranda suffers fainting spells at the office, coming back home to a sick, exhausted and moody Miranda, getting the kids to bed and then the whole drill all over again.
The kids who were thrilled to know that they would soon have a new baby brother or sister grew increasingly worried seeing their mother this ill every other day. Andy wasn't helping much either with her harried disposition and confused self.
Miranda on her part tries to hide everything as much as she can. She hates to be the one to keep Andrea awake with worry at night, she hates being treated like she's made of glass by the kids and Andrea; but things have been crazy and it does feel like she's made of glass. The morning sickness which has increasingly turned into something like a round the clock thing would leave her exhausted and with an empty stomach daily. The doctor had already complained about her not gaining enough weight but she had just convinced Andrea it had to do with her petite frame. It was a task to get herself out of bed and get to work while trying not to vomit or collapse every other second. It hadn't been as bad during the twins, she recalled, it had been bad of course but it had subsided after the first trimester mostly.
She was already into the fourth month and nothing as yet, the medicines had stopped working and she had been written off as a case of 'hyperemesis gravidarum' for which she'd probably have to be hospitalized if it got too serious.
Miranda had tried very hard to make everyone(including the doctor) believe 'too serious' would only mean if she were on her death-bed, after all she had a fashion empire to manage!
She had already made two trips to the hospital for a half a day each when she had fainted at Runway in-between run-throughs and shoots. Miranda was truly trying her best to eat and keep it all down and not throw up or faint every other minute but it was getting increasingly difficult every passing day.
This was the time when Miranda Priestly started praying again and hoping against hope that things would fall into place, that she'd be able to get through this unscathed, mentally atleast. The doctor had promised that things would improve once she hit the beginning of the third trimester, so she prayed, like never before to keep Andrea's child, safe within her.
4th November 2007
Priestly Dining Room
Manhattan Townhouse
8.20 p.m.
The sound of chinaware crashing put Andy out of her sleep-wake state in front of her computer screen (where the last sentence read 'Challenging situation due to Sub five per cent growth and double digit inflationnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.'). She jumped out of her chair in 'her office' and charged towards the kitchen knowing all too well it was probably the twins messing around.
'Caro, Cass, I told you I'd do the dish-' she stops mid-sentence as she sees the girls hurry down the stairs.
Andy looks at them. They look at Andy.
'Andy...we heard a crash!' Cassidy says sceptically.
'While doing homework.' Caroline adds and everybody is thinking the exact same thing.
Miranda.
For a second Andy finds herself rooted to the spot but then she sees the girls running towards the kitchen and a nerve snaps in her head. She dashes even faster.
Miranda's lying on the floor in her sea green nightgown, legs askew, the silver forelock falling over her face and her left hand fiercely protecting the now visible swell of her belly even while she's lies unconscious.
There are broken pieces of Chinaware in the dishwasher but it's a miracle they haven't scattered anywhere near where Miranda is lying.
'Mom!' Cassidy exclaims and is at once kneeling down in front of the prone figure and tugging at her gown.
Andrea has never seen Miranda like this, the only times she's ever fainted is at office and she had generally met the usual 'done with your shit' Miranda at the hospital, tugging at the IV pipes ready to get back to work.
The Miranda she knows is larger than life, not defeated by such fripperies, so seeing her looking so small and vulnerable makes her brain shut down completely and she wordlessly sits down and takes Miranda's head on her lap, and stares.
Caroline turns out to be the adult in the situation and calls the doctor and arranges for an ambulance while opening up the windows and filling a glass of water, her hand shaking all the while.
Miranda's eyes flutter about 10 seconds later and her brow scrunches up and she rolls her eyes in immediate disgust at being obsessed over.
Two sets of identical crystal blue and one of chocolate brown stares back intently, unblinking.
'I'm fine.' Miranda says patronizingly as she tries to haul herself up but slumps again with a whimper in her lovers' arms.
'Yeah. We can see that.' Cassidy spat.
'I called the hospital, they should be here. Mom, are you very ill?'
'Nonsense bobbsey, I'm fine. I don't need to go to the hospital. I was just a little dizzy because of the medicines sweetheart.'
Another attempt to move arrested by a firm hand on Miranda's shoulder. She looks up to see Andy staring back with an unreadable expression on her face.
Andy hasn't felt so powerless in her entire life. She can't see Miranda this vulnerable-it leads to some sort of a visceral feeling inside her and she feels unhinged—unable to comprehend or talk, so she just clutches onto her lover until the ambulance arrives and whisks her away.
4th November 2007
Room 402
NY-Presbyterian University Hospital
9.10 p.m.
Miranda bit her tongue and looked around the room sheepishly, careful not to meet those 3 sets of scary eyes as the doctor examined her chart.
'Miranda, I cannot emphasize enough how much bed rest you need. Due to your condition you're hardly getting enough nutrition and that's the most imperative thing at the moment-you need enough nutrition for two-keeping off your feet will not get you this exhausted. The best I can do is IV nutrition supplements but they'll only work if you listen to me—that is-I want you here, on bed rest, for a week.' said.
'No. Simply no.' Miranda spat as she smoothed the blanket over her belly and then made the mistake of looking towards Andrea whose eyes were ablaze with anger and something which said 'this isn't a joke, it's an ultimatum.'
'Uh, I can stay at home though and work from there and you can fit I don't know how many of these godforsaken machines you want to.' She added sounding so certain one would think she was saying it out of her own volition.
Andrea's eyes became softer.
'Fine, tonight I won't let you off, but tomorrow morning I can allow the transfer.' Miranda nodded and closed her eyes letting the fatigue win over.
Dr. Abassac subtly motioned Andy to follow her outside.
'Hey kiddos, try and get some sleep here I'm gonna fetch myself a cup of coffee.'
'Andy, I trust you to take care of her. I wasn't very enthusiastic about this right from the beginning but we both know Miranda. I did an ultrasound today.'
'And?'
'And..she's already four months along, the normal fetal crown to rump length is about 10 cm and weighing about 100 grams. She's been depriving herself of proper nutrition so the baby is a little smaller than normal. I didn't to stress her out but she HAS to take better care—she's underweight and I can understand it's due to hypermesis gravidarum, so we need to keep her on IV until that goes away.'
'But...Susan how can you say the child's smaller, I mean she's already started to show.'
'Yes that's because her uterus is anteverted and I'm not saying the size difference is glaring but we need to put it under control effective immediately.
'Ohkay...I'll make sure. Don't worry.'
Dr. Susan Abassac stood and watched the young woman walk away towards the room again and marvelled at the fact that this woman had matured immensely over the past few months.
By the time she returns the girls are fast asleep on the only couch in the room which leaves Andy with a stool to sit on.
She smiles at the mass of gangly arms and legs all tangled together—they're not used to seeing their mother like this as well—they deserve the rest. She plants a soft kiss on their foreheads and covers their little bodies with a blanket.
Then Andy grabs the stool and places it beside Miranda's bed and sits down with a soft plop.
Andy scrutinizes Miranda's face for a long while. Come to think of it, she—correction-they've been so busy they've hardly had nights when they just lie back silently and do nothing, they don't even need to make love or make conversation-they just lie-one against the other and everything else just melts away.
This hasn't happened in a while-because mostly Miranda is out like a light as soon as she hits the bed and Andy is equally exhausted from all the extra work—so now is when she gets a good look at Miranda's face—it's still got a greenish tinge to it, but her cheekbones seem to have acquired a character of their own and she looks kind of wan and tired still except for a tinge of colour creeping up her neck.
'Oh, say something for God's sake!' Miranda says through close eyes. 'I can literally hear you breathe.' She opens her eyes.
Andy puts her hand behind Miranda's head and pulls her face up and kisses her fiercely, almost bruising Miranda's lips who is staring at her wide eyed with the most stunned expression on her face.
'Don't scare me like this, EVER AGAIN. My rules. From today. That's all' Andy does the eyebrow thing, she has learnt well.
And her rules it is. Miranda does not dare disobey Andy as she is put on bed-rest for the next month.
Instead she takes out all the anger and frustration on Runway—being in bed and not being allowed to climb stairs or venture out does not stop her from verbally charring her employees on a daily basis about their usual incompetence and garish layouts and cluttered designs, Nigel was the only respite.
By the end of December Andy is victorious. All the reports read like it should and Miranda looks better than ever.
On Christmas Day Andy puts a hand on Miranda's belly and murmurs 'Our last Christmas as a family of four.'
And everything in the world felt right to them, again, in that moment.
Who knew words could mean things we'd never want them to mean.
A/N: I got myself some extremely cool prompts from theladyholl because I have so many feels, but I still haven't executed them!
Would love to hear from you!