The gang is watching Joey's act of 'Freud!' right now and C/M's kids are with her parents.
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
All you want is a dingle,
What you envy's a schwang,
A thing through which you can tinkle,
Or play with, or simply let hang...
Afterwards Joey asks "So how did you guys think of it?"
"I must say Joe...it was quite interesting" Rachel responded sarcasitally.
"Did you and the baby like it Mon?" Joey questions his pregnant friend.
"If you say Baby Boy Bing kicking me in the ribs like crazy; well then yes" Monica answers looking at a playboy.
"Hi Baby Boy are you hurting Mommy? If so please don't, we love you so much" Chandler asks the baby.
"Aww I love you two as a couple and your kids are so cute" Phoebe gushes.
"Gotta love Mondler" Ross invents a couple name for the five year married couple.
Back at the coffee house that evening, the six friends are relaxing on the orange couch- still in their fancy clothes.
Joey gets off the phone and wraps his arm around Phoebe(they both have mutal crushes on each other).
"So what'd they say?" Ross asks.
"Estelle was a bitch at first but then she got me a job as Al Pachino's...butt double!" Joey says the last part enthusiastically.
"Wha- you got a job as Al Pachino's second ass?" Rachel is in disbelief.
"This is the first time I've ever seen Joey get the part of someones second ass" Chandler made a quip as his hand is on Monica's large baby bump.
Everybody says that Monica is so big she's gonna pop any second from now.
"Okay let's stop talking about asses now!" Monica shuts them all up and then her cell starts ringing.
She looks at it and says to her husband of five years, "Hun look my mom sent a pic of the kids sleeping. We should just let them stay there for the night"
That evening in C/M's bedroom, Chandler closes the door and sighs to find Monica on their bed waiting for him. She looking even more beautiful and radiant while pregnant with their forth child and second son.
She wraps her arms around him and then they melt in a heated kiss.
"We are alone, no kids this evening and Rachel is out with the others...I guess we can" Chandler starts breaking the kiss.
"No time for that" Monica cuts him off by unbuttoning his shirt.
"Mon you wanna do this right now. I don't wanna hurt you and Baby Boy Bing" he asks unzipping her dress.
"Positive. Now make love to me" She smiled as he slids on her gently removing her clothing and they start making out.
The morning after Monica lay in Chandler's arms watching him sleep so soundly.
He woke up kissing her saying "Cara Mia", "I love you so much. Make love to me again" she responds.
"As you wish" he grinned and starts to kiss her neck sliding his hand up her back. Then starts to make love to her again.
Three hours later Joey is in the apartment rummaging in the fridge for food.
C/M come out of the bedroom and ask "Joey what the hell are you doing?".
"JOEY WANT FOOD" Joey bit into a cheese doodle going all into Monica's face and orange specks flying onto her embarrassing maternity gown.
"Hey Macho man take it easy there" Monica does the middle finger with her wedding ring on.
"Dude why the hell are you freaking doing in our kitchen right now" Chandler longs for an answer.
"I get nervous when I have to go to an audition that day so I eat" Joey chewed a slice of pizza.
"Oh my Joe you are gonna get the part" they hug him.
"Really" Joey asks.
"Yeah you just need to get a job where you are Tom Cruse's third ass the next time" Chandler retored.
Joey gives him the finger.
The next evening...
[Scene: The Bings and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.]
Rachel: Tah-daaah!
Chandler: Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that.
Rachel: Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors... I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don't know what that's for.
Ross: Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask.
Rachel: Well, whaddya think?
All: Very clean! It looks great! Terrific!
Monica: ...Oh! I-I see you moved the green ottoman.
All: Uh-oh...
Monica: How-how did that happen?
Rachel: I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table.
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
Chandler: Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.
Monica: You guys, I am not that bad!
Phoebe: Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y'know, (psycho) Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
Monica: That is so unfair!
Ross: Oh c'mon! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy!
Monica: Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organized. But hey, I can be a kook.
Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
Monica: Why not?
Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice.
Monica: I could do that.
Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping…
Monica: (interrupts) No problem!
Rachel: I'm not done yet! And I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Monica: Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder. K, I would be fine with that.
Chandler: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood...
Monica: STOP IT! ...Oh my God. It's true! Who am I?
Ross: Monica? You're Mom.
(Monica gasps.)
Phoebe: Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
Chandler: And Mon our kids have your drive to be the best at everything already. I'm sure Baby Boy Bing will too.(Rubs her large belly and winking at her seductively)
Monica: Can't help but agree with that one and especially after amazing nights of sex I have with my husband(she runs her hand up his chest)
Rachel: Mon!
Ross: Yeah Mon we don't need to hear about your and Chandler's sex life.
Monica: Shut up Ross! You are only saying that because you never had a marriage like mine and Chandler's with Carol.
Ross: Hey! It's not my fault Carol was a lesbian.
Joey then enters back from the balcony...
Phoebe: How'd it go?
Joey: That was Estelle. She said I didn't get the part.
Ross: Why Joe? You were great at it.
Joey then starts to tell them about what happened at the audition...
[Scene: A Film Set, Joey is waiting to do the scene. A crew member passes by him.]
Joey: Could you see if they could warm it up in here? I'm a little concerned about goose bumps.
Director: Okay, everybody ready?
Joey: (enters the shower) Uh, listen, I just wanna thank you for this great opportunity. Look I mean, listen, I know this is just a first step but I hope this…
Director: (interrupts) Lose the robe.
Joey: Me?
Director: That would work.
Joey: Right. Okay. Losing the robe. (He takes off the robe.) And the robe is lost.
Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
Director: And cut. Hey, Butt Guy, what the hell are you doing?
Joey: Well, I'm- I'm showering.
Director: No, that was clenching.
Joey: Oh. Well, the way I see it, the guy's upset here, y'know? I mean, his wife's dead, his brother's missing... I think his butt would be angry here.
Director: I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action...and cut. What was that?
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask..
Back to the present day...
"You should looking for an audition for Tom Cruise's third ass" Chandler suggested.
"Shut up" Joey gave him a death glare.
[Scene: C/M's Bedroom, she's lying in bed wide awake.]
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Monica :Baby Boy Bing's a kicker. The kids were pretty active when they were still in me. Chandler's a pretty active guy so no kidding they are super active. I can't sleep, with him kicking my ribcage!
AN* This was long too. And guys please review. It's so annoying to see that I only got one review. Have a great day all :^)