A/N 1: Read disclaimers from Chapter 1 before proceeding.
A/N 2: I know it's a short chapter but I needed a filler plus I have NO inspiration whatsoever. *hint-hint*
A/N 3: Two more chapters and an epilogue maybe. I promise to finish this before I die. I am genuinely sorry for these sporadic updates.
A/N 4: Un-betaed, so all mistakes are mine.
"Hope
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,
Whispering 'it will be happier'..."
― Alfred Tennyson
It's been a few months since Christopher persuaded his mom to night-stay at the townhouse. They do it more often now; Andy needs no persuasion, whatsoever. They've almost become a fixture in the townhouse now, even Jessie. The weirdest part about it all is how natural it seems as if nothing really happened, not a single moment a grief crossed them once. None of them know how they fell back into a parallel happier world from the past but it seems right and something they realize, they fight tooth and nail to preserve. But then there are those occasional reminders of things from the past
Like that sacred room which had been locked and preserved till now as a memory to the child that inhabited it for a mere week. Chris stays there now.
Miranda's made sure of installing a fancy bed and numerous other things to humour Christopher and make the room more age appropriate. She's had specific ideas about every single addition that's been made and has had it executed to the hilt. Except, she's not seen the results, the outcome of it. No, not as yet, Miranda still can't make herself go in there. Too much anguish, painful and raw. It's getting better though. Andy is helping and so is Christopher.
Sometimes she can even get herself to talk about him with Andy, how it might have all turned out, how they wouldn't have had to waste time away from each other, how it might have all been different if their son were still alive. But Andy soothes her as she cries silent tears on some nights and tells her it needn't be different anymore. They have a son now and they can again have all the happiness they want, Miranda only needs to have faith. Live a little more on hope.
25th December, 2009
The Townhouse
11:01 p.m.
As the credits for It's A Wonderful Life roll on screen Andy casts a look at Miranda who's sitting next to her on the sofa with an armful of Christopher. She looks sleepy herself and Andy realizes they've actually had a tiring but fun day, in a way Christmas is supposed to be.
The twins are on either sides of Andy and Miranda and are barely awake either, yawning and cuddling into them.
Andy quietly mouths a 'I'll take him upstairs.' and begins to take Chris from Miranda's arms when she stops her, 'No, deal with the girls, I'll put him to bed.' and with that Miranda carefully gets up from the sofa with Chris in her arms.
For a moment Andy thinks that Miranda's forgotten where Chris sleeps and that she never goes in there and an involuntary, 'But' slips out from her mouth. But Miranda looks at her knowingly and smiles a sad smile and the nods once before making her way towards the stairs.
Andy smiles involuntarily as she tries to get the girls to their feet and makes her way with them towards their room. She knows- she realizes that Miranda is ready to move on at last.
11.05 p.m.
Chris's Room
The Townhouse
As soon as Miranda enters the room a thousand smells engulf her senses. Christopher smells a lot like this room but here the smells are even more pronounced. She makes the mistake of looking around to take in the room-the little clouds and animals on the walls, the cot, the neon lights on the ceiling, the wind chime-they all conjure up a million memories from the past and she feels her chest closing up-her son's birth, the nights at the hospital, that fateful night, the pain, the grief it almost comes all crashing back and she has a violent urge to abandon everything and flee.
She almost decides to and turns around when she realizes she wouldn't have any explanation to offer to Andrea and one look at her and Andrea would know—know that she's still fleeing from the past, that she's weak and no, no-she can't let that happen anymore. They've moved on, haven't they and this would only be a step backwards. Not something she can afford now, when things are going so well.
So instead she decides to put Chris to bed and flee—flee to the nearest bathroom or anywhere where no one can see or hear her.
She rushes to the bed to put Christopher down for the night and starts to tuck him in when his hand grabs hers in sleep and he holds it tightly, close to his chest. Miranda thinks her heart might explode and leap out of its cage and suddenly, the oncoming tide seems to have receded, she feels at peace, the world doesn't seem to be closing up on her anymore. She can breathe evenly again and it all seems fine.
She smiles unknowingly and sits down on the floor next to the bed and starts to gently stroke his hair with her free hand. And then she starts humming, involuntarily again, the same tune she'd hummed in that hospital bed more than a year ago...
Sleep, my child, for the red bee hums the silent twilight falls
Eeval from the grey rock comes to wrap the world in thrall
A lyan van o, my child, my joy, my love and heart's desire
The crickets sing you a lullaby beside the dying fire
Dusk has come and the Green Man's horn is wreathed in rings of fog
Sheevra sails his boat 'til morn along the starry bog
A lyan van o, the paly moon hath gleamed her cusp in dew
And weeps to hear the sad sleep tune I sing, o love, to you
As she hums and gets lost in his baby face she thinks of how they spent the day. How different it was from last Christmas.
She smiles as she remembers waking up in the morning to Chris chanting 'I'm awake!' and jumping into their bed for a round of tickling matches with Andrea while she ranted about acting civilized which went completely unheard by the other two.
They'd been lucky enough to have the girls with them for Christmas as their father was busy working (as usual) and Miranda remembers the smiles plastered on their faces all throughout the day. She remembers spending the day in their backyard with Andrea and the kids and their failed attempts at making a snow man which had eventually turned into a snow ball fight and she had threatened them to keep her out of it but Chris wasn't listening and soon she had been pelted with snow balls from every angle much to her fake annoyance and everybody else's laughter.
Miranda hadn't really raised her daughters into any religion and most certainly not in her own for reasons only she knew all too well. So there weren't really any Christmas traditions they kept and it turned out neither did Andrea. The twins did things that the kids loved- decorating the Christmas tree, early morning presents, a family lunch and making snow mans apparently.
She remembers the noisy yet happy lunch, baking a hazelnut and chocolate meringue cake in the evening which was a rare exquisite treat for the rest of people who engaged in uncivilized activities like jumping around the house while she swore and sweated in the kitchen.
They had ended the day with a movie and the kids had slept off even before it was over while Andy and she had half concentrated on the movie and half on each other.
She snaps out of her daydream and looks back at Chris who is sound asleep and is still gripping her hand tightly. She's lays her head beside him and forgets about all her worldly worries.
After putting the girls to bed, Andy waits for more than half an hour for Miranda to return to their bedroom. Andrea knows it's the first time Miranda's been into that room and she decides to give her time to bury her grief and create fresh memories but as the clock ticks her worries get the better of her and she ventures towards her son's room.
As she enters the room she sees Miranda asleep beside Chris' bed with her head snuggled into his chest and their hands entwined. Andy's heart melts at the sight and all she wants to do is to stare at it forever, so she does exactly that, captures it in her phone's camera and puts it in a folder which Miranda won't easily see because the picture shows Miranda at her most vulnerable—without any pretence, no facade, a slight smile grazing her lips—she looks peaceful. Chris on the other hand looks more content than he does when he's playing his 'favouritest' video game. Andrea has no heart to wake her Miranda from her peaceful slumber but she knows Miranda will be sore all over the next morning if she sleeps this way.
She gets the faintest idea of carrying Miranda up to their bedroom and muses at the romanticism of it. With that exactly in mind she goes ahead to where Miranda sleeps and untangles her hand from Chris' and starts to pick her up when Miranda stirs and blinks in a disoriented manner. Andy thinks she's never seen her looking this adorable.
'Whaa—sleepy!' Miranda complains. Andy shushes her and lifts her from the ground firmly and guides her towards the door.
They are almost about to exit the room when Andy extends her hand to switch off the light but suddenly Miranda revives and places her hand on Andy's to prevent her from switching off the light.
She turns back to look at the sleeping boy in the bed and then glances around the room, her eyes stopping at every small detail—all the additions made on her recommendation which she hadn't seen till now—she smiles slowly,at last and glances at Andy who gets lost her in Miranda's eyes. Andy thinks she's never seen Miranda look more soft or beautiful.
Then, she switches off the light tenderly, clutches Andrea's hand firmly in hers, leans her head on her shoulder and lets Andrea guide them towards their bedroom before closing their bedroom door on the darkness.
If you took my hint from A/N 2 leave me some reviews. TeeHee. Don't give up on me.