"Wake up, Annie!"

"Sasha, slow down. Your shirt's inside-out again."

"Come on, Annie! Time to get up!"

"Breakfast will still be there once your shirt's on right, Sash. You'll be Shadis' breakfast if your uniform's not perfect. And I'll be sure to pass him the ketchup."

"Mikasa, get Annie's lazy ass out of bed? I'm trying to help Mina with her 3DMG... Mina, how do you always manage to get them tangled like this? Child."

"Sasha, come back! That's my boot, stupid!"

"Mina, move your arm up like this... Okay, you're all set..."

"...ANNIE! GET THE FUCK UP."

You yelled, shaking the sleeping girl vigorously, only one boot on and your hair a rat's nest as you barked out reminders and orders to the seven (six, now that Sasha had left to get first dibs on breakfast with Connie, as usual) other girls milling around you. For reasons far too complicated for you to understand, you had become a kind of cabin-mom to the seven trainees, taking care of them even (and especially) when they didn't want it. Mina referred to it as 'tough love'. You called her an idiot and denied it.

They were all grateful to you, though. You'd saved their asses from Shadis' wrath on more than one occasion and they knew it. Even Annie. Speak of the devil (sometimes you wondered if that saying applied to the blonde literally), she was still wrapped up in her blankets, which she currently had pulled up around her face. Maybe it was a fool's hope, but you expected, after three years of getting up at the same time, every single day, that Annie would become an easier riser. She did not. You were never brave enough to just take the blanket away from her, though. You tried that once, and paid for it later in the day when you were paired together in sparring.

You poked her cheek. "Annie. We're being scored today. And you're going to make me late. Again."

One icy blue eye opened up and stared at you threateningly over the covers. You would not relent.

So you decided to engage alternative tactics.

"We're doing hand-to-hand combat..." you cooed enticingly in a sing-song voice.

Annie groaned, glaring at you, but sat up nonetheless, pushing her blanket down to her feet.

"Good. Now get ready, Shadis expects us in ten," you said with a triumphant nod, turning around and scanning the hectic room for Sasha's other boot, which you would unfortunately be wearing today.

You groaned aloud at the state of disarray the other six girls were still in. No way you'd be able to find the boot in this chaos.

"You're a bunch of infants, I swear!"

The sun shone hotly down onto your back. You had your hair pulled back as much as you could manage in order to keep it off the sticky, sweaty plane of your forehead, and your eyes narrowed in concentration as you held you arms up in front of your face defensively. You could make out a form out of the corner of your eye, prowling, but chose to ignore it for now. The form laughed as it disappeared behind you.

"Aw, come on! Hit me! Do you want to make top ten or not?" Eren called teasingly, circling around you with a lazy stride, a smug look plastering his handsome features.

"Strategy, idiot. I'm trying to come up with a strategy," you replied irritably, eyebrows furrowing dangerously.

"Oh, I see," Eren said calmly. Too calmly.

Suddenly, you felt very paranoid that you couldn't see him. Your paranoia was well-placed.

You let out a strangled 'oof' as your felt your knees buckle beneath you at an unknown pressure and you started to fall towards the ground. Before you could make impact, a pair of big, warm hands gripped your biceps and hoisted you up, turning you around so you were facing a couple of mischievous, green eyes. Your feet hung several inches above the ground. The look on his face was infuriating.

"You know, strategy doesn't do you much good if it means you take too long to strike."

You glared at him, still lifted helplessly off the ground like a scolded puppy. It took all of your self-control not to flail like a fish plucked out of a lake by a hawk. You had to try to retain what little dignity you had left. "I know, Eren. That's what training is for. Put me down, or I will strike. I'll strike that big, ugly nose of yours."

He grinned at you crookedly, placing you down gently before continuing his walk around you. "Yes, ma'am!"

You could feel your cheeks heat up in some mix of embarrassment and anger, but had plenty of practice over the last two years at fighting back the rush of red that would come to your cheeks. Eren loved to pick on you when this happens, so naturally, it had to stop.

You still weren't quite sure how it had happened, but over the last years, you and Eren had become very close friends. You two still argued, of course, but there was an underlying respect and care for each other that had caused you to become nearly inseparable. You had become rather close with Armin and Mikasa as a result, as well. As much as you loved the oriental girl and the blonde genius, though, you preferred it when it was just you and Eren. When the four of you were together, you couldn't help but be reminded by the fact that they had grown up and gone through so much together, and you'd never be able to compete with that kind of bond. They never seemed to care about that and loved you like you were an initial part of their group anyway, but you couldn't help the feelings regardless.

It wasn't just the Shiganshina trio, though. You had become incredibly close with many of the 104th Cadet Corps. Seeing as you were towards the top of class and participated in more of the advanced training with the other talented cadets, you had gotten close to the other contenders for the top ten. Despite your initial vow not to get close to the competition, you couldn't help but feel grateful to call each and every one of them your friend.

Everyone knew that Mikasa was going to be number one, if not close to it. Reiner, Bertl, and Annie were not far behind. You, Eren, Jean, and Marco were about even in the lineup, followed closely by Connie, Sasha, Ymir, and Christa. Armin, while he was the top trainee in classroom studies, did not have the physical prowess to make top ten, but he didn't care about that. He was going to join the Scouting Legion with Eren and Mikasa anyway.

The Scouting Legion.

Whenever you thought about the dangerous faction, your stomach twisted in fear. The very mention of their name made you feel violently uncomfortable, as if the titans themselves were making a home inside your heart. The nagging feeling of fear that tugged at your chest, though, was not for yourself, nor for the titans, and not even for Armin and Mikasa, although you did worry for them as well.

The fear, you knew, had a very specific name.

Eren.

Eren was going to join the Scouting Legion.

You heart twanged with dread. You'd known this literally since the first minute you met him. It was one of the first things he'd said to you on that rooftop three years ago. You remembered asking him if he was crazy. Sometimes, you still thought he was. He was dead-set on joining the Scouting Legion and eradicating the titan threat from the world.

You admired him for his determination, but... that didn't mean you wanted him to go kill himself for the sake of humanity. The nickname 'Suicidal Bastard' had spread quickly enough among the ranks of the 104th, and before the first year finished, each trainee knew him by name.

"Jaeger, that suicidal bastard..."

"Thinks he can kill all the titans..."

"He's not even that good..."

As time went on, though, Eren had become good. More than good. It wasn't easy or natural for him. He had improved solely by the power of his own will. The difference between him and the other contenders for the top ten was very specific, and very definitive.

Eren had a real purpose.

The others, as Eren had pointed out to you one day, had been honing their titan-killing skills to get as far away from the titans as possible. Eren, on the other hand, had been honing his titan-killing skills to become the best titan killer he could become, just as he's been working for his entire life. He let his rage and his passion fuel him in his training, like he did in every other aspect of his life. His passion ruled his every action, and it set him apart from every other cadet.

The difference really had become obvious when you looked at his scores in training recently.

He's so talented. He'll make top ten. Wherever he goes, Armin and Mikasa will follow. He could live out his life, safe, in the interior, with Armin and Mikasa...

With me.

You were wrenched out of your thoughts by a sharp 'twang' on the back of your thigh, and you yelped, rotating quickly in place. Your eyes narrowed dangerously at your sparring partner. Eren sniggered and stepped back, withdrawing his hand from the strap of your 3DMG on your thigh and holding his hands up in surrender. You growled. "Did you just...?"

"I'm sorry. I couldn't resist. Wait, I'm not sorry."

You tensed up and pounced, bringing your fist up for the attack. Eren laughed and dodged easily, slipping behind you and poking your shoulder. "You missed!" he whispered in your ear.

You let out a war-cry, and spun around, missing his side with your fist by a mere inch.

"Heh!" he breathed in surprise, jumping to the side. "Now you're fighting! Who knew it was so easy to motivate you?"

You took advantage of his brief distraction and swung out your leg, kicking his feet out from underneath him. He hit the ground, hard, with a grunt. You jumped onto his chest, knocking the air out of his lungs, and pinned his hands above his head. You grinned triumphantly down at his flushed face.

"I win."

"Shit..." he panted, smiling weakly. "You've been practicing with Annie too much."

"Hey, guys! Ready to head back for dinner?"

You both looked up as Armin and Mikasa approached, and you quickly removed yourself from Eren's chest. You observed your two approaching friends. Armin had let his hair grow out a bit as he got older, and now would usually wear it half-pulled up in the back. He had also become as tall as most of the other guys in the corps, and grown into his looks as he aged. You and the others had no problem viewing him more as a man than a boy now, despite his lack of skill in the more physical aspects of training. Mikasa had gradually gotten more and more attractive over the years, forming herself into a lovely and lethal titan assassin. She kept her hair cut relatively short around her heart-shaped face, but always left her bangs loose, which hung in front of sharp, dark eyes that seemed never to miss a thing. Eren sat up slightly as they approached, resting on his elbows. The 'suicidal bastard' himself had gone through similar changes over the years. His hair was still as shaggy as ever. As a result of the fight, a little tuft poked out in the back of his head like a duck's butt and his bangs fell into his tanned face messily (you noted that you needed to cut his hair again sometime soon). He had gotten taller - much taller - and his body had broadened significantly. His turquoise eyes had remained as bright as ever, though, alight with his burning determination. Eren no longer was a boy - the person before you was a man.

"Is it that time already?" he asked, with an eyebrow raised.

Mikasa nodded. "You've been training for three hours."

You then noticed that the sun had gone down considerably and all of the other trainees had departed without either of you noticing. You held out a hand to Eren, and he grasped it tightly as you pulled him into a standing position. You dusted off the front of his dirty shirt. "You're a mess and you smell. Go shower. I'll meet you there?" you asked.

"Sounds good. But you need to shower, too, stinky."

You grinned and pushed him towards Armin, and he began to walk to the men's dorm, chatting amicably with his childhood friend. You and Mikasa headed out after them.

You fell a bit behind with her, as Eren and Armin led the way ahead of you. You walked in silence, staring at Eren's broad back, the straps of his 3DMG leading out of his jacket and down his back, heading to where...

You grinned evilly.

You turned to Mikasa, whispering something quickly and gesturing for her to be silent. She smiled softly and nodded. You quietly trotted up to the two boys. Once you caught up with them, you slowed to match their pace and kept on without making a sound. You reached a hand out towards Eren's (rather nice, you noted wickedly) ass.

You curled your finger under the strap at Eren's left thigh, pulled it as far as it would stretch, and then let it go with a loud, sharp 'snap!'

The three of you (including Mikasa) practically cackled as Eren reeled in shock and squealed, reaching both hands behind himself to protect from your attack.

You were laughing too hard to accomplish much else, and Eren's face reddened in embarrassment.

After dinner, you and Eren left the mess hall to go sit outside and get some fresh air. Especially in the summer, the building got uncomfortably hot when it was filled with the mass of bodies and steaming stew, each giving off their own heat like a miniature sun. The two of you sat in comfortable silence on the front step of the hall. You stared out at the training field in the darkness, absentmindedly twisting your ring on your finger. You didn't even notice Eren's eyes on you until he spoke.

"You know, you never told me..." he said, finally breaking the silence.

"Huh?" you said, snapping out of your reverie to look at your companion.

He pondered for a moment, staring at your hands. "Where did you get that ring anyway? What does it mean?"

You smiled sadly, looking down at the bird engraved into the silver. "It's a phoenix. I don't know where I got it. One of my parents, maybe. Probably my mother, because of the size."

Eren looked confused. "What's a phoenix? Is that the bird?"

"Yes. Marco told me about it once. He said it was a symbol of rebirth. Starting again." You shrugged. "I don't know, though. I think it's just a bird."

Eren was silent for a few seconds, still looking at the small piece of jewelry. "...It's broken."

"What?" You looked at him, startled.

"Right here," he said, grabbing your hand gently and pulling it towards himself. He pointed at the tiny silver bird with a calloused finger. "There's a piece missing, like it chipped off. Its wing is broken."

You looked closely at the ring, noticing the small chip for the first time. "Aw, shit. I never noticed that before." You pulled the ring off your finger, holding it up to the light and observing the tiny blemish with a sad expression.

"I don't think it's a bad thing," Eren said, his voice quiet.

You scowled. "Why, Eren, would it not be a bad thing?"

He looked at you softly, taking your hand again, putting the ring back on your index finger. "It gives it character. Look: even with a broken wing, it still flies."

Your eyebrows drew together, confusion etched onto your features. "Hah? What does that even mean?"

He dropped your hand and remained silent for a few minutes, and you let the matter go.

"...I don't really know anything about you."

You scoffed, crossing your arms across your chest and leaning back against the stair. "Sure you do."

He shook his head. "I don't, though. I mean, I know you, but I don't know anything about your life before. I don't even know your middle name."

You shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. You wanted to avoid this topic as much as possible. It was getting a little too close. "There's nothing to tell. And I don't have a middle name."

His voice stayed quiet. "Okay. But there must be something you can tell me about yourself."

You stiffened.

You wanted to tell him... you wanted to tell him so badly... but how do you bring up something like that after so long?

He would never trust you again.

He'd call you a liar, a thief, a criminal... you'd be forced to leave and either go back to the Undercity or spend the rest of your life rotting in a Military prison, carving lines onto the wall to keep track of the days.

As much as the idea of that hurt, the idea of Eren never looking at you again like he was now... that hurt even more.

He couldn't know. He couldn't ever know.

You wanted to remain calm, but couldn't help the hard edge that had come into your voice. "There isn't. My life's boring. You don't want to hear about it," you said with finality.

You were irritated, but nonetheless unsurprised when he persisted. "I do," he said, the determination you'd come to know so well flaring up in his words.

You faked a sigh, drawling, "My favorite color is -"

"That's not what I meant, [Name]," Eren interrupted, his voice taking on a scolding tone.

You glared at him silently.

"You mentioned your mother before?" he asked gently.

"I never knew my parents," you interjected shortly.

"Why not?" he questioned.

You scoffed. "Because I guess they just had better things to do than raise children. Can we not talk about this?"

He fell silent.

You thought he had finally dropped the subject when he realized that it was going nowhere, but you jumped when Eren lay his hand lightly on yours. "I'm sorry. I just want to know more about you."

Your eyes widened. "Why?" You cursed yourself at the crack in your voice, and couldn't control the flood of red rushing to your cheeks at his proximity.

"Because I do."

Your heart was racing, and you were quickly becoming inexplicably angry at the man beside you. "But why do you care about this shit?" you said. "In a few weeks, we'll never see each other again anyway. You're going to go kill yourself for the Scouting Legion."

A loud pause echoed between you.

Eren started to look frustrated himself, letting go of your hand. "I know, I just... shit, I don't know, I just do."

An awkward tension spread between the two of you on the stair.

You missed the feeling of his hand on yours, you realized with a start.

"Where did you get that scar?" he asked, trying to restart the conversation and gesturing to your cheek.

You knew him dropping it was too good to be true.

"I got into a fight once and was thrown into a window," you explained gruffly.

He actually laughed a little. "What kid is strong enough to throw a child into a window?" he asked incredulously.

You scowled at him. "Did I say I got into a fight with a kid?"

He shot you an astonished expression. "Then... who?"

You turned away from him haughtily. "It's none of your business."

Eren grunted in frustration and grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him. "What is the matter with you?" he gritted.

Your eyes narrowed at him, and you gritted your teeth at the slight pain from his tight grip on your face.

"Let me go, Eren," you warned coldly.

"Why can't I know anything about you? What happened to you to make you so... screwed up?"

That stung, but you wouldn't let him see it. "Eren... I said, let me go," you repeated, voice lowering dangerously.

He didn't, and instead kept on talking. "For three years, all you've ever done is draw me in, and then push me away. Like a fucking toy," he chuckled darkly. "For three years, I've found out everything there is to know about who you are, as a person. You're strong, physically and mentally. You can be funny when you want to be, and you're smart as hell. You're so, so kind, even if you don't want anyone to know it," he said, his voice becoming softer the longer he spoke. His grip on you slackened. You could have pulled away if you wanted, but... you didn't. "For three years, I've wanted to know about your life and the experiences and stupid little things that make you who are. For three years, you have told me nothing. And for three years, I've fallen asleep every night thinking about you," he confessed, breath hitching in the slightest. "I want to know these things because I care about your life," he said breathlessly, closing his eyes tightly. "And I care about your life because I care about you."

You froze, staring at him with a wide-eyed look.

There was an unspoken rule, a line that had been established between the two of you, and Eren had just charged over it at high speed. The fact of the matter was, you had never expected either of you to cross that line. It went against your natures. Yet here he was, a mile into your side of that line. Right in front of you.

You were still too afraid to reach out and touch him.

He didn't belong to you. He belonged to the Scouting Legion. He'd made that decision long ago.

He had gone completely still as well, hand still on your chin, a similar look of bafflement in his turquoise eyes.

You both sat there, staring at each other silently, almost nose-to-nose.

His eyes dropped down to his fingers on your chin, and he leaned forward marginally, letting his forehead fall against yours. A mere centimeter separated your mouths, and you could feel the faint brush of his breath on your lips. You still couldn't move.

Your heart hammered so loudly you could have danced to its beat.

You could almost feel his heartbeat, too.

Suddenly, you weren't frozen anymore.

A loud crack rang out as the palm of your hand connected with the side of his face.

"Ow!" he yelled, releasing your chin and cradling his cheek with his hand.

"I said to let me go," you explained, flustered, abruptly standing up and brushing down your pants.

He looked up at you from the ground, a pleading look on his face, hand rubbing his cheek. "[Name], I -"

"Goodnight, Eren."

"Wait, [Name], please -"

You didn't give him a chance to finish, breaking out into a run and making a straight line for your dorm.

The last thing you wanted was for someone to see the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes. Especially Eren.

Of all the people...

Why did it have to be the suicidal bastard?