Hours after the cannon 'incident', you hadn't yet had time to see or speak with any of your peers. Directly after departing that miserable, Sina-damned courtyard, General Pixis led you, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin to the top the southernmost wall of Rose (much to the traumatized Woerman's disbelief and very vocal disapproval) to debrief you further. That and make some very interesting comments about the ideal scenario for him when it came to getting eaten alive by a titan, all while absent-mindedly fixing his authoritatively red sash. Being swallowed whole by a knock-out female would be okay, he declared to your slack-jawed quartet.
After a bit of questioning and larger bit of meaningless chatter, Armin started to explain to Pixis his genius-but-only-if-possible plan of sealing the destroyed Trost Gate with the gigantic boulder located in the eastern corner of Trost. It wasn't known whether or not Eren would actually be able to summon the titan form again. It was even less known whether or not Eren's titan form would be able to lift the boulder, let alone carry such a thing to the breach without being crushed beneath its enormous weight. Despite these uncertainties, Pixis asked him Eren if he could - no, if he would do it.
Eren, somehow maintaining his dignity even while looking ragged, exhausted, and terrified - and utterly ridiculous for missing one sleeve, half a pant leg, and a boot - swore he would. His eyes gleamed, more familiar to you than the face in the mirror. Being barely able to stand on your own two feet yourself, you admired and envied his composure.
As Eren set off with Pixis alone and the three of you remaining began to work over the impulsively devised strategy on a smudged and bloodstained map of Trost, you searched every corner of your frayed soul for a fraction of that same confidence.
But more than that, you couldn't help but stare at him as he departed and marvel at the fact that somehow, somehow he had been brought back to you, the same as he ever was. A creature of purpose, forged in fire and rage, passion and conviction, kindness and love. A beautiful monster.
You dared to let your heart sing.
Mikasa quietly approached as you stood at the edge of Wall Rose, staring disdainfully down into the stone fish bowl filled with massive, humanoid piranhas. A particularly hideous one clawed desperately at the wall beneath you with bloodied, jagged fingernails as large as your entire body and a wave of loosened debris rained down into its unblinking, manic eyes.
Mikasa stopped beside you and watched the titan below as shards of stone were embedded in the beast's eyes. A small amount of steam rose from the lacerations, slightly obscuring the view.
Stowing her look of hatred and disgust for the sight beneath her, Mikasa turned to you, a pale hand rising to gently rest upon your shoulder. She looked at you for a beat, perhaps contemplating what she was going to say, before deflating and letting out one of her rare cusses.
You shot her a fatigued smile. "Hell of a day, huh?"
Mikasa scoffed, directing her attention towards the mid-afternoon sun. "You could say that. But it's not over yet."
"It certainly isn't," you agreed, and the two of you fell into a comfortable silence.
You vaguely registered General Pixis' voice rallying the hundreds of soldiers gathered in the streets on the Rose side of the wall. Judging by heated tone of his voice and the noisy unrest from below, things were not going well.
You realized with a start that you trusted that most would come around and do what was right. When and where you had salvaged such faith in humanity, you weren't sure.
You directed your gaze over your shoulder to the blonde boy still hunched over the map with a pair of Garrison soldiers. Their quiet voices barely reached your ears. "Armin's still working over the plan, then?"
Mikasa nodded, following your stare with her own. "They're devising a way to create as much of a distraction to the titans as possible. To draw attention away from Eren."
"Good," you breathed with a nod of approval. "If there is too much opposition during the operation, that boulder could end up falling and crushing him and others, Sina forbid. I'll draw them away myself, if need be."
Again, you surprised yourself. You meant it. When had you lost your sense of self-preservation? The only person you had ever even considered worth sacrificing yourself for before you came to the Military was your little sister. Now you were ready - willing, even - to risk your life for strangers.
It terrified you, but you didn't falter. How people can change, you mused. You hadn't even noticed it at first, but for three years you had been slowly shedding your armor and transforming into someone you had never known you held within you. You wondered what Amelia would say about this version of yourself.
When you thought about it, you were sure Amelia would like you.
You realized that while you had been lost in your thoughts, so had your companion. Mikasa stared searchingly at you until you began to feel it like a film on your skin. You shifted uncomfortably.
"Mikasa?" you prodded with a lift of your brow.
"We talked about this briefly before, but... I can't be with them all the time," she said at last. "I can't always be there to protect them. Goddesses know they don't want anybody's help, but if... when I can't be there, you will, won't you? And be safe yourself, of course. Just... take care of each other."
You blinked at her. "What brought this on?"
She wrung her hands in an uncharacteristic display of anxiety. "I always had complete faith in myself. In my abilities. But I realized after today, after I fell like that... that I'm not invulnerable," she conceded. "If not for you and Armin, for the rogue titan's interference, I would have died. So, if something ever happens to me, I need to know that you will take care of them."
You pulled the raven-haired girl's hand into your own and squeezed. "Don't be ridiculous," you said with a small, fierce smile. As Mikasa opened her mouth to argue, you gripped her hand even more tightly, letting her know you weren't finished. She quickly quieted. "Of course I promise. I will be there for them whenever they need it. As will you. And they will be there for us, always. We look out for and protect each other, but we also have to trust. We're strongest when we have faith in one another."
Mikasa looked at you for a long time with her gray, bottomless eyes before answering. "We're iso/i lucky to have found you, [First]," she softly spoke. "For a long time, my family was... all I had was Eren and Armin. All we had was each other. But now I'm proud to call you my family. My sister."
Your heart swelled and throbbed painfully.
Oh, Sina... Amelia. I miss you, so, so much.
And Mikasa... I am so, so grateful for you.
It was a thought you had had before, so it didn't come as too much of a surprise. Mikasa... a sister. Your sister. But to hear it said aloud so resolutely, to give it life, you were rendered speechless.
In the absence of words, you looked out over the district blurrily, ignoring the prickling at the corners of your eyes. Mikasa didn't say anything more, but squeezed the hand you still had gripped solidly in your own. You knew she understood.
Pixis was addressing his top soldiers, Ian Dietrich, Rico Brzenska, and Mitavi Jarnach several meters away. You could hear the white-haired woman, Rico, raising her voice at one of her comrades. At last, you had a moment to speak privately with the other cadets from behind a stack of wood that served as a decent barrier. Unsurprisingly, it didn't take long for other duties to come in the way of your short-lived reunion with your small, makeshift family.
"Ackerman! Arlert!" Dietrich, the man Pixis must have decided would be in charge, called. The two exchanged a weary look before they dutifully departed to receive their orders.
You were hyper-aware that you and Eren were finally alone, after hours of being swarmed by all manner of people, without a second to breathe, let alone discuss anything. The most you had been able to do since the courtyard was glance at each other, and every so often his arm would brush against yours. Now you finally had a moment to really talk. With a surge of electricity throughout your whole body that made your hair stand on end, you turned to finally face him.
Eren, in a fresh uniform, was already looking at you, a smile pulling at his lips. He looked as if nothing had happened to him at all.
Sina, how you had missed him.
His expression shifted. Then he spoke.
"You look like shit," he commented, taking in your injuries, bloodstains, and general dirtiness with a concerned bite of his lip.
Your jaw dropped for a second. That was all he had to say? After everything that had happened in those twelve or so long, horrible hours?
Overcome with something akin to murderous rage, you bristled like an angry cat and punched him in the arm.
"Ow!" he yelped, leaping back, grabbing the apparently offending appendage. "That was not what I meant! I was only worried."
"Idiot! What do you know about worrying?" you growled, scowling at the confused man in front of you. "Don't you ever put me through that again."
His eyebrows lifted towards his hairline. "It wasn't my fault! Goddess, you really hurt, you know that?" He massaged his bicep indignantly, visibly pouting.
You gaped at him, lower lip trembling involuntarily. "I saw you die!" you rasped. "I saw you get eaten alive! Torn to pieces! I was so... I thought I would never... I thought... I..."
You stared at him for a second longer before all the emotions from before, the shock, the guilt, the heartbreak, and the overwhelming relief came rushing back like water from behind a collapsing dam and finally you realized how lucky you were to have him standing in front of you. To have him whole, alive, and you were drowning, drowning.
Your eyes welled up with tears and you threw yourself into his waiting arms. He pulled you tightly to his chest with a shuddering breath.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"Oh, Sina, I thought I had lost you," you croaked against his shirt. He buried his face in your hair, gripping your harness in white-knuckled hands to pull you as close to him as he possibly could. Your ribs hurt as Eren squeezed life back into your battered body and you could feel every crease of his destroyed ODM gear press into your skin. "I saw you... you were broken. It wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. I couldn't save Squad 34. Eren, I'm so sorry."
Eren pulled you back roughly by the shoulders so he could look you hard in the eyes. "Cut that out right now. You're here. Armin's here and Mikasa's here and you had a hand in that. You did everything you could. Everything anyone could. I'm so proud of you, [First]," he said, eyes shining with fresh grief. "The rest of our squad would be, too. I just know it."
You pressed your hands to his cheeks and felt your tears create hot tracks down your face. You leaned forward to press your forehead against his and, not needing a word but understanding you perfectly, he let you remain while you calmed yourself down. Eyes closed, you compared your heartbeat to the pounding rhythm you could feel beneath your fingertips at the base of his jaw until both slowed to something that seemed normal.
You sniffed. "You're amazing, you know that?" you said, pulling back and wiping your dirty, tear-stained face on the cleaner of your two hands. "You are humanity's only hope. You really never knew?"
It wasn't an accusation, and you were relieved he didn't seem to assume it was. He looked quizzically at the smoking ruin of a city many, many feet below. "No," he said, lifting one of your hands and kissing your scabbed knuckles from the night before. Had it really been that short a time since you had found the policeman, that specter from the darkest moment of your life? Since Eren had found out the truth about your past? Since the two of you had kissed? You could still feel the ghost of his lips pressed against yours and you flushed against your will. He shook his head gently, still thinking on your question, eyes focused on someplace faraway. "I had no idea."
"Cadet [Surname]!" you heard Dietrich call.
You disentangled yourself from Eren and rounded the corner of the wood stack to snap a hasty salute. "Yes, sir!"
He appraised you for a moment. "You're injured and would be more of a liability than a help. Head out with Arlert to join the decoy squad," Dietrich called.
Your heart sank into your stomach. Despite years of training to the contrary, you made to contend with a superior's orders. "Bu -"
"[Name]," Eren called softly from beside you.
Dietrich stared you down, clearly waiting to see if you would challenge him.
Barely withholding a sigh, you withdrew. Reluctantly. "...Yes, sir."
Dietrich maintained his gaze, but his expression softened around the eyes. "I'm sorry, [Surname]," Dietrich said, genuinely apologetic. "It's for the best."
You nodded and Dietrich continued on his way. You turned to face Eren, plastering the brightest smile you could on your face.
"So! Are you ready for this?" you asked, willing a determined glint to your eyes.
He held your gaze and shook his head soberly. "No. Not really. But yes. I have to be. I will do it."
You smiled at him and tried as hard as you could to make it not look sad. You weren't sure you succeeded. "I know you will. Try not to get eaten or crushed without me, okay?"
"I'll do my best. Besides, you still owe me a kiss after we both get out of this alive," he reminded you with a devilish smirk. Your heart hammered in your chest. "I haven't forgotten."
"Neither have I," you replied.
"Jaeger!" Dietrich called from somewhere down the wall. "We're moving out!"
"Time to go," you said with mock cheerfulness. "You better come back to me in one piece this time," you added, and you made certain some of the threatening bite leaked into your voice.
Eren's eyes crinkled into a small smile. He pulled you forward by the back of your neck and kissed your forehead briefly, lingering for only a second before taking off after Dietrich and the elite forces.
"Be careful," you whispered, but there was no one to hear you and your voice was stolen by the wind.
You were left alone, standing on the precipice of the day that would determine the fate of humanity.
The next hour passed in a blur. You remember things only in bursts of adrenaline and fear throughout your body.
Sprinting on your bad leg across the top of Wall Rose with Armin, gritting your teeth from the pain.
Dropping down into a hanging position over the edge of the wall, dozens of salivating titans grinning up at you from a mere few meters away.
The flash of green lightning that signaled Eren's transformation from man to monster. You felt a surge of joy and anxiety at the thought, which was quickly consumed by a heavy, choking worry that only increased with each savage roar that tore through the atmosphere like a half-forgotten nightmare.
The sharp smart of a titan swatting at your dangling foot. The rush as you relieved that same titan of three fingers and half of a thumb.
The red smoke signal shooting through the sky, signaling failure, signaling the stopping of your heart. The officers along the wall signaled your return to the walkway above.
Armin taking off to go meet his friends, his family, your family, and you attempting to follow him, before Pixis grabbed you by the elbow and delivered a short, but effective speech about having faith in the others and remaining where you were most needed. Shocking no one more so than yourself, you dutifully lowered yourself over the edge once more, the blonde boy fading into the distance, the titan with a steaming half of a hand renewing its efforts in catching you.
The enraged scream of the rogue titan as scouts above reported a dozen new beasts clambering in through the hole in the wall over a mile away. They were going to be overwhelmed, they said in a panic.
And finally, the loss of the last remnant of your self control.
You couldn't take it anymore, not being with them. Letting the fate of humanity teeter on the tip of a pin while you dangled from the wall like a particularly succulent piece of bait.
You knew it was foolish, out-of-line, selfish. You couldn't bring yourself to give a shit.
You felt more than heard the feral scream rip from your body as you fired off the wall and over the head of the titan that scratched at your heels. Garrison soldiers shouted behind you. It was easy to tune them out.
You flew over many a titan, all too slow to catch you. Many didn't even notice you until you were long gone, whistling down the next street.
Once you finally reached the massive landmark, the first thing you saw was the rogue titan on its backside, hunched over, unmoving, with Armin screaming into its nape. Whatever was happening, it wasn't good.
You had fired your anchors into the boulder and begun to approach them when your gaze found Mikasa.
She was focused on two titans circling her with malicious grins, oblivious to a third, its grotesque face twisted into a caricature of disgust as it lumbered over a roof toward her. She was alone.
You turned so hard midair you could feel your hips wrench in ways they weren't meant to. You bit back a wince as the wind whipped your hair around wildly.
Mikasa barely had time to form your name on her lips before you shot past her, jerking your blades around from behind you as you hacked the nape of the grimacing behemoth from the rest of its body.
Mikasa recovered quickly from her shock, dispatching the other two titans in smooth, practiced acrobatics before landing heavily on the loosely-shingled roof across the street from you.
"[First]!" she called, panting. "What are you doing here?"
You wiped one of your steaming paring blades off on your pants before giving her a broad grin. "I've got your back, sister."
Mikasa's look of confusion slowly melted away into a brilliant smile, and she used one of her blades to give you a savage, iron salute. You returned the gesture with equal ferocity.
A tremor shook the rooves beneath your feet, and you had to use your hands to catch yourself before you fell.
"What was -" Mikasa just managed to get out before another shudder silenced her.
You both turned towards the source of the crashing and an unnatural silence followed, interrupted only by the steady, rhythmic vibrations. It was almost as if everything in the world, even the breeze, had paused to witness the spectacle. Before your mind could catch up to what you were witnessing, your heart stuttered to a halt.
A rock the size of a building was rising and falling overhead, moving in the direction of the gap. You didn't dare believe it. You surged forward to the top of the chimney to get a better look and a giddy laugh rose to your throat, cutting into the copper-scented air so abruptly you thought you might be able to see the sound of it if you tried hard enough.
The rogue titan carried the leviathan stone above its head, like a black ant carrying a exceptionally large breadcrumb. Its head was bent at an unnatural angle beneath the impossible weight, one eye squished from the pressure, the other shining an unearthly, unnerving green. However, you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Eren was in total control of its body. The single, gleaming eye was affixed to its goal.
You had nearly forgotten you weren't alone when you heard Dietrich shout in a hoarse and powerful cry, "Protect him to the death! Even if it means all of our lives, defend Eren Jaeger until he reaches the gate!"
The battlefield wound back to life as you heard a woman shrieking somewhere and paring blades scraping against iron and stone. War song echoed throughout the stone streets and alleyways, a cacophony of shouts and clashes and bangs. You saw a small herd of titans bee-lining for Eren and a heard someone's sharp alert. Your head whipped around towards the noise.
"Squad Mitavi! What the hell?" shouted Dietrich.
Mitavi and two other soldiers darted out from an alleyway behind the herd, blades drawn. You didn't hear what they said, but it seemed to distress the squad leader, and shortly afterward, several of the herding titans turned their horrible faces to look back at the soldiers before pivoting and barreling toward them at full speed. Your stomach clenched bitterly. You could see what was coming next long before it happened.
A hand slapped down on Mitavi, rendering him little more than a gory puddle. The other two soldiers died similarly awful deaths. Even from such a distance, you heard Dietrich scream Mitavi's name in anguish. Despite yourself, you took a few steps back before whirling around and running toward a smaller titan, blades drawn. You noted with exasperation that they were lacking the razor-edge you'd need to smoothly cut titan flesh.
Before you, a 10-meter titan with a childlike face looked positively gleeful as it ripped a Garrison soldier's stomach right from her body. It dropped her before turning its beaming grin to you so fast it knocked the air out of your lungs and replaced it with dry ice.
Your face hardened and you withdrew a new set of blades, discarding your old, dulled ones. The zing of the fresh metal escaping its sheathes sent a violent thrill through your bones and you cracked your neck, setting off at a sprint along the roof.
You skidded to a surprised halt as the white-haired woman from earlier, Rico, shot out of the sky like a phantom, tearing the nape of the child-titan's neck from its body in a practiced swing. With a jolt of wonder, you remembered that she was a Garrison officer. Where had someone who had never had to deal with titans become so adept at killing them? You found yourself deeply amazed by the small, ferocious woman as she used the blades to gouge out a different titan's eyeball. You swept in to take the kill, taking advantage of its moment of blind agony. Rico nodded at you mid-flight.
A nearby titan sank through a caving roof near you and you dragged your eyes away from Rico and set your focus on its graceless, fumbling form. You shook your head to rid yourself of all external distractions.
You latched onto the nearby roof, easily whipping your body downwards and cleaving flesh from the back of its neck before latching onto the steeple of a church and swinging back out of the fray, stretching your taught thigh muscles as you ascended and gripped onto the edge of the tower. You needed only a moment to rest your leg before dropping from your perch into a smooth decent toward the shingled, orange roof below.
You turned an assessing eye out over the battlefield and noticed ahead, too far ahead, Dietrich using his paring blades to heave open a titan's mouth, throwing out the man who had been lodged within it, weeping, waiting for imminent death. The twisting movement it required to toss the soldier weakened Dietrich's stance just enough for the titan's jaw to overpower him and you saw Dietrich's arm snap in a way arms aren't meant to.
You kicked into top gear with a soundless cry, firing your ODM in his direction, your body yanking uncomfortably with the sharp movement. You felt the air stir beside you as someone else joined your pursuit. You caught a flash of white locks yet again out of the corner of your eye. Rico.
You kept on.
But you were too late.
You watched in horror as the titan's teeth snapped cruelly closed around Dietrich's neck and you heard Rico's strangled wail from somewhere nearby followed by a disheartening crack as she slammed onto a roof. Your heart ached for her.
You refused to look as Dietrich's head tumbled unceremoniously to the cobblestone fifteen meters below. Still, you had to fight back a wave of nausea and the familiar feeling of dread attempting to make a home in your gut.
You saw Mikasa and Armin running in the street below the rogue titan, ensuring that the way was clear for him to proceed towards the gap. As even more titans poured in through the hole, you opted to join them. It looked like they were going to need it.
One after one, the three of you worked together to cut down titan after titan. Rico quickly joined you in the fray, fueled by grief and fury that you recognized all too well. The woman was a force to be reckoned with.
After an age had passed, nothing stood between the rogue titan and the gate except for the triple moat. He moved forward steadily.
Finally, with an earth-shattering howl, the rogue titan slammed the boulder into the opening and no more titans entered Trost District. A breeze laden with dirt and dead leaves drove past you, blowing strands of hair out of your face and burning your eyes.
In the aftermath, a shudder claimed your body from head to toe as you realized: He did it.
He had closed the breach and saved Trost District.
Rico collapsed to her knees beside you, eyes shining with unshed tears. Her breath caught violently.
"Everyone who died..." she whispered gravelly. "It wasn't in vain."
She collapsed in on herself in sorrow and relief, digging into a small satchel strapped to her belt as she sobbed.
Your gaze locked on her as she lifted a small, metal gun to the sky. The nearby soldiers covered their ears, and you followed suit as she fired. A line of yellow smoke shot straight up, so high that the setting sun drowned out its color as it faded into space, and your soul was carried with it, soaring straight toward the heavens.
Rico, looking both fierce and frail at once, looked at her comrades now, tears falling freely from her eyes.
She threw a victorious fist in the air.
"For the very first time today, humankind beat the Titans!"