I hope everybody liked chapter 3. This is chapter 4 it got rather long so I split it into 2 chapters so the Battle of the Bands will be next chapter. Anyway I wonder if anybody can pick out the Anchorman & How I Met Your Mother references in this chapter, shouldn't be too hard there rather blatant. So once again all Glee stuff belongs to Ryan Murphy and FOX. Please read, enjoy and review, until next time have a good one…
Columbus, Ohio
Finn sat down on the park bench outside Columbus General Hospital just soaking in the sunshine of the day. It was weird to Finn that everything to him now looked beautiful and at the same time a lot of the things he thought mattered now seemed rather childish or insignificant. He rubbed his hand over his arm where a cotton swab was still taped to his arm from when the doctors had taken numerous blood tests; as he was sitting there he thought of the events that had lead him here.
Where was here exactly? Here was the Columbus General Hospital. The only hospital that Finn could go to that was still close to Lima and still far enough away so that anyone he knew (i.e. his mother) wouldn't be around to recognise him. Also it helped that the hospital in Columbus was only an hour and a half's drive to where the Battle of the Bands competition was being held.
Finn knew that he had scared Puck and his other friends the other day when he almost fainted in the choir room. He had tried to play it off as no big deal, but truth be told, it wasn't just his friends he was lying to, he was also lying to himself. Over the past couple of weeks he had started feeling lethargic and nauseous as well as experiencing severe migraines, bloody noses and some minor memory lapses. The whole thing felt like déjà vu to Finn. These were the exact same symptoms he had experienced in Georgia and he had thought he had beaten them but now he didn't want to even contemplate the notion that they might be coming back.
Finn had even got in trouble with Carole a few times when she had come home to find Finn sleeping in the middle of the day without having done anything around the house and also missed a shift at Burt's Garage. They had gotten into an argument because Finn told his mother to stop yelling because he had a migraine; which Carole automatically believed meant that he had been out drinking with Puck (which he often used an excuse for his headaches). Carole started berating Finn about how it was time he grew up and even used the Rachel card that was, did he think this was how the man that Rachel would want should be acting.
Finn was interrupted from his thoughts by the sound of laughter. He looked across the park he was sitting in and noticed a young couple sitting together on a picnic blanket enjoying each other's company and the midday sunshine. They were obviously boyfriend and girlfriend and Finn continued to watch, as the young lady looked at her male suitor with such awe and admiration. Even though this particular couple looked nothing like Rachel and himself, Finn couldn't help but picture himself and Rachel sitting there on that blanket lost in each other, as if they were the only two people in existence.
It had been months since he had last talked to Rachel and that alone, even if you excluded everything else was killing him. This was killing him because even though all their friends would tease them for constantly making out, which was, if Finn was being honest, a pretty damn amazing part of being Rachel's boyfriend. It wasn't what Finn loved the most about his relationship with Rachel. What a lot of people their friends included didn't know was that Finn and Rachel would spend hours upon hours. Talking and laughing and just generally spending time together and that was what Finn loved the most. Finn looked down at the seat across from him on the park bench where he noticed someone had left a newspaper.
The newspaper just happened to be opened up on the entertainment section and Finn's eye was drawn to a large advertisement promoting the Broadway musical Funny Girl and it's newest leading lady, Rachel Berry. Finn couldn't even begin to describe to you the immense feelings of absolute pride, happiness and love that were flowing through him right at that moment. This was what it had all been for. All the heartache, all the tears and fights, putting Rachel on the train to New York, letting her walk out of his life; it had all been worth it because she did it, she really did it. Rachel Berry the Glee Club loser. The outcast with the big Jewish nose had shown all those people who had belittled, degraded or just outright dismissed her that she, Rachel Berry was what she always said she was…a star.
Before he had even realised what he was doing, Finn had pulled out his phone and brought up Rachel's contact details. He wasn't even sure if Rachel had kept the same contact information when she had moved to New York or if she had changed her number but he was hoping the number he had was still valid. Finn wasn't sure what he was even going to say to her and he didn't want to put any undue pressure on Rachel seeing as she probably had enough of that with getting ready for Funny Girl. So he finally decided on sending her a text message instead, so it would be up to her if she responded or not, but Finn felt that he had to send her something congratulating her on capturing her dream role. So after much internal deliberation Finn finally decided on the following message:
I know it's been a long time since you have heard from me but I had to congratulate you on landing Funny Girl. I know I'm probably not your favourite person right now. This is why I had to let you go to New York alone, cause you're a star Rachel. I can't tell you how proud and extremely happy it makes me that the rest of the world is finally starting to see just how bright of a star you really are. I just hope because I know I have no right to ask. But I hope there's still an empty seat somewhere in the theatre for someone who once had the honour of being your boyfriend on opening night. ~ Finn
Before he could change his mind, Finn pressed send. Just like that the message, olive branch, peace offering or whatever you wanted to call it was beamed into cyberspace. Already travelling through the information superhighway to the one person who would always be the most important person in the world to Finn…little Rachel Berry.
Finn was interrupted from his musings over whether sending the text was the right move or not by his phone beeping to let him know he had a message. To say Finn was shocked was an understatement, cause he only sent Rachel that text five minutes ago and she couldn't possible have replied that quickly. Finn pulled out his phone and opened up the message and realised it wasn't from Rachel but rather from Puck…
Hudson, where the hell are you man? The competition starts in a few hours and we can't have a band without a drummer. So hurry up and get your late ass over here, cause the sooner we win the sooner we become rock stars baby. ~ Puck
Finn looked down at his watch and realised what the time was. He had a little over two hours to get to the venue. Not wanting to be late, Finn jumped up making sure he grabbed all his belongings and ran towards his car and speeding off. As Finn pulled out of the hospital car park he took one last look in the rear-view mirror of his car and watched as the Oncology sign of the hospital disappeared from view as he rounded the corner.
New York
The sounds of people eating, drinking and generally having a good time could be heard echoing around the upscale New York restaurant. But not everyone in this particular establishment was having a good time. Rachel Berry even though dressed for a night out cast a lonely figure as she cooled her heels sitting at the bar nursing a drink. She didn't know what was driving her crazier, the insistent noise of couples and families being together, or the drum of her fingers as she rhythmically tapped them across the top of the bar. After another glance at her watch, Rachel realised what definitely was making her crazy and it had nothing to do with her current environment. Rather the current whereabouts of a certain good-looking NYADA Teachers Aid that she currently calls her boyfriend. Boyfriend is that what Brody was? Her boyfriend…could someone in an open relationship class the other person as their boyfriend/girlfriend? Either way her current partner or whatever the new age politically correct term is, was nearly two hours late and anybody who knows Rachel Berry, knows that Rachel is not the most patient person.
Just as Rachel took the last sips of her drink and went to flag the inattentive bartender for another drink, she caught sight of someone sitting beside her at the bar in her peripheral vision that gained her attention.
"It's a crime that such a beautiful woman as yourself should be drinking alone. Please allow me to remedy the situation and keep you company and buy you a drink." Rachel turned to see who was talking to her and almost spat out the last remnants of her drink all across the bar.
While trying to overcome her coughing fit from almost having her drink shoot out her nostrils. She noticed the guy who was not so subtly trying to pick her up looked exactly like the Paul Rudd character in the Anchorman movies, Brian Fantana. His resemblance to the fictional character consisted from the exact same facial hair moustache to the nineteen seventy's brown suit.
"I'm actually waiting on…" Rachel was interrupted from her polite rebuttal of the stranger by the absolute stench coming from the man. "I'm sorry but what the hell is that smell?"
The man just smirked and said, "Yeah I thought you'd like that. It's something I picked up in my travels. It's called, Sex Panther!"
"Sex Panther? It's making my eyes water!" Rachel replied while struggling to see and also not to vomit.
"Yeah it does that and that's not the only thing it makes wet…if you get my drift." He said while moving closer to Rachel.
"Does that line actually work on anyone?" questioned the still struggling to breathe brunette.
"Works in about one in three thousand tries. It gets me better results than the naked man move."
"Oh! Please God, Barbra and every Broadway diva known to mankind! Don't! Whatever you do, don't do the naked man," pleaded Rachel.
"Don't worry darling I only pull out that move when I need to hit a home run, and believe me…" the stranger from the bar said while licking his lips and running his eyes repeatedly up and down Rachel's body. "I'm a guy who loves to play the bases before I HIT my home runs," continued the extremely creepy guy and added extra emphasis and really unneeded body movements to the word hit.
Rachel shuddered just thinking about this guy and his lame pick-up lines, and wondered what she must of done so wrong that she was cursed like this. She went to temple with her dads routinely, well at least more regularly than Noah attended. So why was she cursed so badly that she always attracted with the exception of Finn. The creepiest guys like Jacob Ben Israel and this guy who looked like he stepped straight out of a time machine from nineteen seventy-five and fell straight into a vat of God awful pungent Sex Panther cologne. The very person in question who started talking again interrupted Rachel from her self-degrading inner monologue.
"My name's Joey Wonderson, beautiful, but you can call me Mr Wonderful and I'll show you some wonder tonight baby…" said an extremely slimy Joey. Then added after looking at Rachel quizzically, "Hey do I know you from somewhere, because you look awfully familiar? And I don't forget a face…especially a face as beautiful as yours"
Surely that couldn't of been his real name thought Rachel, unless if his parents really hated him. As she was wondering to herself if that pun about his last name ever actually worked for this poor individual, she heard him ask if he knew her from somewhere and freaked out. Of course this guy would recognise Rachel Berry future Broadway star. He must be a wannabe actor from the sounds of his very obvious stage name and of course being associated with the acting fraternity. He would've been exposed to such an audacious casting choice of a young ingénue from Lima, Ohio; picked from obscurity to play the iconic role of Fanny Brice in the timeless classic, Funny Girl.
"I'm sure you have heard of me, Joseph. Seeing as I'm already if you believe the very good people at one of the brightest rising stars about to undertake a leading role on the Great White Way!" Rachel excitedly explained to Joseph (she couldn't bring herself to utter the man's ridiculous nickname).
"Joseph? Baby please…like I said I'm Mr Wonderful. Only my Amah and Bubbe call me Joseph and I seriously don't want to be thinking about them, when I'm thinking about me and you. Why would I know you from Broadway? Are you a theatre chick, because I haven't seen a Broadway show since my Zayde dragged me to a revival of Fiddler on the Roof when I was a boy?" A puzzled Joseph answered back.
"First of all the correct grammar would be, you and me not me and you. Secondly I will absolutely not call you by that ridiculous name because your parents gave you a wonderful Jewish name because they obviously loved you very much…" Rachel said while adding, "I don't know why" under her breath before continuing. "And why wouldn't you know the future star of Broadway? You're an actor, are you not?"
Joseph's eyes and smirk lit up his face like a Christmas tree after hearing what Rachel said. "Why yes, hot stuff I am indeed an actor, I didn't think a chick like you would be into porn."
"PORN! You're a Porn Star?" an extremely shocked Rachel replied.
"Too right I'm a Porn Star, baby! Nothing really mainstream mind you but quite a few low budget independent straight to the bedroom, as we in the bizz like to say releases. Cause I'm an artist first and foremost and I simply won't do a project unless the story really connects with me. You should watch some of my work. I've done some flicks about a poor little Cabana pool boy Latina from the wrong side of the tracks who has to help out some lonely cougars in order to get his Green Card so he and his family can stay in the US that would really make you think"
"That sounds like it could be written by one of my friends…" Rachel was interrupted from talking by her phone beeping.
Rachel started rifling through her handbag for her phone ready to give that no good Brody a piece of her mind. It surprised her and also didn't surprise her that she kept thinking that Finn Hudson would never stand her up or make her wait two hours for him to show up. But she pushed those thoughts aside as she finally managed to locate her phone. As she was just about to steel herself to show Brody just how ferocious the five foot two Broadway diva could be. She noticed the message wasn't from Brody but rather from the enigma that still casts a large shadow on her heart and soul, Finn Hudson.
Rachel's hands suddenly started getting sweaty and shaky almost causing her to drop her phone. Just as Rachel was able to once again grab a sure hold of her phone, she realised that Joseph was still sitting next to her at the bar staring at her. How was she going to get rid of this guy? So she could read Finn's message in peace. Rachel decided to utilise something's from her acting repertoire to politely ask who would probably be considered Noah Puckerman's idol, Mr Jewish Porn Star to leave her the hell alone.
"Sorry my boyfriend's texting me. He's a big, strong football player and he doesn't really like me talking to other guys," Rachel said while pointing to her phone.
"Just between you and me, there was this one time when we were at this party. My boyfriend the football player had just come back from getting a drink and found this other guy chatting to me. He got so mad that he marched straight over and pinned this poor guy against the wall. I tried to say nothing was going on but my boyfriend punched the guy out anyway." Rachel lied…
Well not really lied but she wasn't going to tell this guy the real story. She and Finn had been at one of the house parties after one of the football games. Finn needing liquid to extinguish his parched throat went in search of libations when another football player from another school cornered Rachel. Who proceeded to try and get rather handsy with Rachel before Finn, Puck and Mike took the pervert outside to show the sleaze ball just what Lima justice looks like.
"Wow! Your boyfriend sounds tough! But then again I like to get rough once and awhile and I haven't had a threesome in a while. Also I'm not opposed to some dude on dude action, tell him to come join us," Joseph said in an extremely creepy manner.
Sick of trying to play it nice and polite with this guy who obviously wasn't getting the message, Rachel decided to let out her inner Angry Diva. So she put her phone down on the bar and turned completely around to face the target of her rage and said. "First of all Joseph! Nineteen Seventy-Five called and they want their outfit back; seriously where have you been for the past forty years living in a cave. Secondly you really need to fire your agent or whoever the hell came up with your God-awful stage name, it sounds like you should be a third rate magician working in Vegas. Thirdly I am a lady and ladies do not associate themselves with gentleman of ill repute like you.
Also if I was ever to have a threesome I can swear to you that you would never ever be one of the participants. Not that I need to have a threesome as I am more than satisfied in the love making department and you wouldn't have the engine or balls to keep up with me. Lastly and I say this for the sake of everyone in this building…go home and take an extremely long shower because I don't care what you call that disgusting cologne, you stink to high heaven!"
A shocked and slightly miffed Joseph just simply downed the rest of his drink and got up to leave, but not before replying. "Whatever, it's your loss! You're not that hot anyway. I don't need to be a Vegas magician baby, I'm magic every damn day. As for not having the engine to keep up with you…" Joseph put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a little blue pill before continuing. "The jokes on you baby, because I can go all night long with the help of my little friend here. That stench you're smelling is just all man, baby!"
Joseph took a couple of steps before turning around again and adding one last thing. "You, Jewish girls are too high maintenance anyway…" he stood up tall and straightened out his brown suit before continuing. "Haven't you heard of retro? Besides the look worked for my dad, so why not me, but you know what the difference between my dad and me is? To quote Will Smith…I make this look good!" and then Joseph just simply turned once again and walked off into the crowd.
A bewildered Rachel managed to gain the bartenders attention long enough to order another drink, but this time she needed one with a stronger alcohol content. She needed the liquid courage to steel herself enough to be able to read the message from the man who always seems to have a tight grip on her heart.
Rachel couldn't believe how nervous she was to read a simple text message. She was more nervous to read the text from Finn than when she was waiting on the call to see if she had got the role in Funny Girl. For about the tenth time in a row, Rachel flipped over her phone with her finger poised ready to open the message. But once again her nerves got the better of her and she turned her phone face down again with a sigh and took another sip of her drink.
To any random person walking by, she probably looked like a crazy person continually picking up and dropping her phone. But what those random people wouldn't have realised is that if her outward behaviour looked crazy. Then they would have had her declared insane on the spot if they could hear her debate with her inner self. In truth Rachel probably would have had herself committed because just like when she was debating on whether or not to do that topless scene in that NYADA student film. She could once again see high school Rachel sitting on the stool next to her…knee high socks, reindeer sweater and all. She even had the same pink drink sitting in front of her that real Rachel had. High school Rachel took a sip of her drink and scrunched her face up and said, 'Ugh how can you drink this stuff? And how can you frequent an establishment like this? The smoke in here alone is probably damaging our delicate vocal chords as we speak'
High School Rachel turned and started giggling at real Rachel's stunned expression, 'what's the matter, Rachel? If you can't even talk with yourself how are you ever going to do all those interviews, when you become a star. By the way I take back my earlier statement about your drink preferences. This drink…whatever you call it is really starting to grow on me…' giggled high school Rachel before suddenly yelling out, 'IT'S PINK!'
'Holy Moses! I am insane and is my doppelgänger drunk?' a seriously confused Rachel thought.
'First of all I am a lady Rachel! And ladies do not get drunk, but I may be slightly…' high school Rachel held up her thumb and forefinger really close together before continuing, 'just slightly tipsy. That's a funny word…tipsy…I wonder if the same person who invented the word tipsy, invented whoopsy-daisy too…'high school Rachel giggled to herself. 'Oh and you're not insane Rachel, but don't ask me to comment on if you're crazy or not. Remember our nickname in junior high…Crazy Rachel.
Crazy Rachel, crazy Rachel…man that nickname really annoyed the heck out of me. It didn't help that it was so damn catchy and that when we joined Glee Club it got extended to be…Crazy Rachel and the Loony Tunes.'
Real Rachel reached across for High School Rachel's drink while saying, 'Okay, that's it I think you've had enough'
High School Rachel slapped her hand away before sculling the rest of her drink and replying, 'enough! I'll tell you when I've had enough!'
'Jeez! Take that Finn Hudson you were wrong! Not only am I a needy girl drunk I'm also apparently an aggressive drunk too.' Real Rachel smirked to herself
Real Rachel's smirk was quickly wiped from her face when she saw the most devastating death stare levelled at her by her younger self. 'How Dare You! You take that back right now! I don't care if you are me, I'll come over there and slap you for saying anything bad about Finny'
'Oh my God! I wouldn't have to say anything bad about 'Finny' if he hadn't put me on the damn train on our wedding day!' Real Rachel snapped back
'So that's what this is about, Rachel Berry is still mad at Finn for leaving her. Cry me a river Rachel! Do you see where you are? You're in the city of your dreams and about to embark in your first leading role on a real life Broadway stage. Yes it was a stupid way to go about it. But I never thought I would be so disappointed in myself than I am with you. So you decided to go the old an eye for an eye route and cowardly left Finn while he was sleeping at that Hotel.' High School Rachel accused.
'I'm not talking to you about this right now! Why are you here anyway?' pouted Real Rachel.
'That's right try and ignore me Rachel! You do realise that's impossible right. Considering the fact I'm you and you're me and all. Or are you really crazy because let's face it you've done some weird stuff lately; and I'm here because someone needs to show you the right thing to do'
'Well what should I be doing then?' Real Rachel asked herself.
'For starters you can stop wallowing in self-pity about your poor excuse of a boyfriend standing you up and can be a big girl and open the text message from your ex-boyfriend' Rachel's inner voice taunted her.
'But what if it's bad? What if he's angry and texting to tell me he never wants to see me again, I did leave him alone in that hotel room after one of the best nights of my life' Rachel debated back with herself.
'Why should you, Rachel Berry future Broadway superstar be concerned with whether or not Finn Hudson is angry with you? It's not like you love him still or anything…RIGHT?'
'If I read the message will you shut up?' Real Rachel asked her former self as she once again picked up her phone.
'With pleasure!' High school Rachel turned on her stool back to the bar and yelled out, 'HEY BARKEEP THIS GLASS ISN'T GOING TO FILL ITSELF YOU KNOW!'
Real Rachel looked up startled from her phone after hearing High School Rachel yell. She noticed that once again High School Rachel was sipping from a pink drink. 'How? How did you get another drink? You're not even real!' a perplexed Rachel questioned herself.
High School Rachel just simply smirked, raised the glass to her mouth and took a sip and said, 'I'm a figment of your imagination Rachel. I can do whatever you can imagine. But I keep interrupting you from reading and I've got a standing karaoke date with Barbra Streisand and Patti LuPone, they've asked me to give them some singing tips…so toodles'
Rachel sat there and watched as her former self started waving and while still sipping her pink drink disappeared from view. Rachel thought to herself that those people weren't even dead, before she heard a familiar voice in her head that said. 'Anything is possible, I'm your imagination remember, dumb dumb!'
A wry smile appeared on her face because even in her fantasies she was still a huge theatre geek. Rachel mustered as much courage as she could and finally opened up the message from Finn.
Rachel read the message and then reread it another eight or so times before finally putting her phone back down. Finn Hudson must be magic thought Rachel because how could a few simple words still touch her heart in the most heartfelt of ways. Rachel remembered back to what she said to Finn in the auditorium after they broke up, that he was the first boy who made her feel loved and that she always wanted to end up with Finn. Those words were true then and they're even truer now with the same stumbling blocks still in place.
Even though she had never admitted it to anyone that Finn's rock solid unwavering belief and support of her and her talents; was one of the major driving forces behind her drive to succeed once she was in New York. So there was never any doubt in her mind at least that there would be a seat front and centre with Finn's name on it on opening night. It took Rachel a few moments but she finally decided on what to text back.
Finn, it's so good to hear from you, thankyou for your always-steadfast support. Also you don't have to ask because there will be a seat reserved for a Mr Finn Hudson on opening night. I wouldn't be able to go on otherwise. Maybe when your next in NY we could meet and talk…no pressure ~ Rachel
Before Rachel could second-guess herself she pressed send on her message. As she was contemplating how Finn would respond to her message she decided one more drink would be in order before heading home. If Brody wasn't here yet he obviously wasn't going to be coming at all. The bartender who looked like he would be right at home on the Jersey Shore once again completely ignored Rachel's attempts to order a drink. He was too busy flirting with a rather busty blonde at the opposite end of the bar. Rachel decided that enough was enough and she could just get a drink at home. So she stood up and grabbed her purse and phone and shoved them into her bag before quickly turning around and slamming into a rather hard male chest.
The very person who she had run into beat Rachel to picking up her dropped handbag. She looked up to thank the man for picking up her bag and also to apologise for running into him but the words never left her mouth as she saw who she had run into.
"Hey Sexy!" Brody said while giving the still confused Rachel a sly grin.
"Brody?" Rachel had planned on giving her boyfriend a piece of her mind for standing her up but now that they were face to face the words seemed to get lost on the way to her mouth.
"Yeah it's me! Why are you surprised? We had a date tonight didn't we?" an extremely nonplussed Brody answered back.
Rachel looked down at her watch before answering Brody; "We did have a date tonight about two and a half hours ago! Where the hell were you, Brody?"
"Hey ease up on the attitude, gorgeous! You're going to get wrinkles on that face of yours and you know that nobody likes a wrinkly actress. If you must know I had to stay back and help out one of the students who was struggling in Cassandra's advanced tango class." A bored looking Brody quipped back while sitting down on one of the stools at the bar, Rachel just relocated from.
An extremely confused Rachel just stood there and stared at her boyfriend. He was helping out a dance student, Rachel thought to herself. This scenario seemed weird to her considering everybody apart from the extremely dedicated had vacated the NYADA campus due to the two-week semester break. Rachel lout out a loud huff and sat back down at the bar next to Brody. She was too tired from rehearsals and then waiting hours on Brody to get into an in-depth discussion on his whereabouts.
Brody picked up one of the drink coasters off the bar while looking around with a disgusted look on his face turned and said to Rachel. "Can you tell me again why we had to go to this little hole in the wall? You're a Broadway actress now Rachel, you need to be seen at the appropriate places like Sardi's"
Rachel let out another annoyed huff at Brody's comment because she really couldn't see what was the matter with where they were. It wasn't like it was a dive or anything, well if you don't count certain patrons call Joey Wonderson that is. Also Rachel didn't have the heart to tell Brody that the real reason they couldn't go to Sardi's was because that was what Rachel considered hers and Finn's restaurant.
Brody ignorant to Rachel's mood just continued talking, "And the service here sucks! Don't they know who you are? We shouldn't have to wait with these other clowns for a simple dinner!"
A shocked Rachel just sat and looked at Brody because she couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth. "Brody we've missed our reservation by two and a half hours. Let's just go home and order some takeout, it's been a really long day and I'm tired."
"Nonsense! Late…You're a star now Rachel, late shouldn't even be in your vocabulary. Do you think Barbra Streisand or Meryl Streep were ever on time for anything, events should start only when you arrive." Brody arrogantly declared.
"Now where is the manager of this establishment? So I can enlighten him to the celebrities that his obviously ignorant and uncultured staff have been ignoring" Brody continued.
"Celebrities? Who else is here?" Rachel said looking around excitedly trying to spot the celebrity.
"What are you doing?" Brody laughed
Rachel liked when Brody laughed it was the only time he seemed to truly be himself without hiding behind his cocky debonair exterior. "I'm looking for the other celebrities. Oh do you think its Matt Bomer! I heard he was in town shooting a new Ryan Murphy film" Rachel added excitedly.
"What? No! Well maybe! I don't know he could be here for all I know. But I was talking about us" a now puzzled Brody answered.
"Us? Sorry you've lost me. I know I'm going to be on Broadway, but what have you done? I know a lot of people know NYADA but I don't think being a NYADA Teacher's Assistant constitutes being famous"
"Okay, Okay, so I may not have the acting credits that you do. But I said us because I'm your plus one. Anytime the press or public see you they'll want to know two things. First who and what your wearing…" Brody gave her current attire a once over before continuing. "Like what your wearing tonight. Kurt probably picked it out for you am I right? It's a bit conservative for my taste, you can't be afraid to show a little of that awesome body of yours Rachel. That's what keeps people interested showing them what they could be getting but can't, just like the old saying, 'treat em' mean keep em' keen'.
Secondly they want to know about your love life and specifically who's your hot, sexy boyfriend. Tell me this Rachel who do you see in all the tabloids and newspapers? It's not the boring average looking celebrities, who are only famous for their acting, writing or singing. No, it's the hot, young sexy celebs that make sex tapes and always seem to have a boyfriend/girlfriend and are always appearing on reality TV shows…"
"First of all I'm DEFINITELY not making a sex tape! And secondly what else is their to be famous for if not for your body of work?" a questioning Rachel interrupted.
"Well we can always work on the first thing and to answer your second question just take the last two words off 'Your body of work' and you've got your answer" Brody answered back like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Take two words off…" Rachel mumbled to herself before realising what Brody was insinuating.
"Are you saying it's better to be famous for your body then it is for the work you've done?" Questioned a clearly flabbergasted Rachel Berry.
"I'm not saying anything, I'm mealy explaining how the world of fame and celebrity work in our day and age," a nonplussed Brody answered
"Well if that's the case I don't know if I like or want to be a part of this new age world of fame and celebrity" a now clearly annoyed Rachel said with a bit of malice in her voice.
"That's why you have me to help you…" Brody was distracted from finishing by one of the bartenders walking by.
"HEY! Can you go get the manager for me I'd like to talk to him" Brody called out to the bartender.
The bartender looked annoyed at having been called away from chatting up some obviously inebriated girls from a local college sorority. Who Rachel thought but couldn't be sure were of legal drinking age. The gruff bartender shuffled over to where Brody and Rachel were sitting and replied, "You want the manager? Yeah all right I'll get him for you".
As Rachel watched the bartender walk off in search of the manager, Rachel turned an whispered scathingly at Brody, "What are you doing?"
"I told you! The manager needs to know he can't treat celebrities this way, especially if he ever wants stars of our calibre in his place of business ever again.
Just as Brody finished talking a rather rotund middle aged man with a really unfortunate comb over came over to where the couple were seated.
"Hi, my names Clive Sinclair. How can I help you lovely people tonight?" Clive politely said to Brody and Rachel with a distinct southern accent.
"Yes you can help us! Firstly Clive! Do you know who this is?" Brody said snidely while pointing at Rachel.
"Your lovely girlfriend?" a confused Clive answered
"NO! Well yes…but also this right here is the newest most prestigious performer to ever grace the theatres of Broadway. My girlfriend is heir apparent to the one and only Barbra Streisand and is about to undertake the iconic role of Fanny Brice in the epically anticipated revival of Funny Girl!" an incredulous Brody quipped back as he couldn't believe this man seriously didn't recognise Rachel or himself.
"Wow! You're going to on Broadway and play the lead in Funny Girl? My wife and daughter absolutely adore that movie and Barbra Streisand. Do you think I could possibly get an autograph and maybe a picture with you for my family?" said a shocked Clive.
As Clive and Brody watched an exuberant Rachel leap off the barstool to sign Clive's autograph as well as take a picture. Clive turned and spoke once again to Brody, "Not that I'm not thankful for you pointing out a real Broadway star son, but It still escapes me what exactly it is you want from me".
After Rachel had finished taking a picture and signing an autograph for Clive, Brody unleashed his rebuttal to Clive's confusion on what exactly Brody's point was. "Well sir! As a celebrity you are accustomed to certain things. You have the expectation to be treated favourably and certain rules or social norms now no longer apply to you. So the fact that a pair of celebrities like ourselves…" Brody waved his hand back and forth between himself and Rachel. "Considered to grace your establishment with our presence to eat dinner, means we expect these same considerations here as well; and not the shoddy an rather ordinary service we have received from you and your staff"
"So your displeased with our service towards you this evening? Can I ask what exactly displeased you?" Clive asked Brody.
"Well for starters we have been waiting for an hour for our table to be ready, while your staff continually serves the regular patrons first. So I can tell you Mr Sinclair if you ever want the next Broadway superstar to eat in your restaurant again I expect our entire bill to be paid at your expense and also I expect to eat for free at our next meal and to be seated as soon as we arrive no matter what time of the evening it is when we arrive. Do you understand our displeasure now, Mr Sinclair?" an arrogant and entitled Brody rudely answered.
"What makes you think I'm just going to give you all that, son?"
"I would hate for there to be an article in the New York Times that reads that new Broadway sensation, Rachel Berry wasn't able to take the stage; or even give her best performance because of what she ate at a certain restaurant. Now I'm not an expert on the restaurant business or economic matters but I can assume the rumour and innuendo of less than hygienic food practices would be extremely bad for business," a smirking Brody replied.
"Are you threatening me?"
"Threaten! I would never do such a thing. I'm a lover not a fighter Clive, but I can't help if the media decides to run with a story that has no concrete facts except an eyewitness testimony from an unnamed concerned citizen. So do we have a deal?" A stone cold Brody replied.
Clive having realised Brody had him backed into a corner just simply replied, "deal" before walking off before he did something that southern gentleman don't do, like punch upstart customers. After having got his way Brody stood up from the barstool and started walking out the front door, with a highly embarrassed Rachel following behind.
Once outside the restaurant Rachel stood in front of Brody who was busy texting someone on his phone, "BRODY! What the hell was that?"
"That my pet, was me giving you everything you deserve because you're a star Rachel Berry. You have to show people that you're a force to be reckoned with instead of the precious little wilting flower from who knows where, Ohio."
Rachel thought to herself that why did it not fill her with immense joy when Brody called her a star; but it was like Barbra Streisand herself giving her a Tony Award when Finn called her a star. Brody talking to her again interrupted her thoughts.
"Come on let's go this way and find a cab home"
"But all the nearest taxi ranks are this way" Rachel said while pointing and heading in the opposite direction.
"So sue me if I might just want to walk a little bit with a hot girl in New York City on a beautiful night like tonight" Brody said while putting his arm around Rachel's shoulder.
Brody and Rachel walked arm in arm for a little bit until they rounded the corner of the restaurant where there was an alley that led between two buildings. Brody stopped them in front of this alley and smirked at Rachel.
"What?" Rachel questioned.
Brody tucked a strand of hair behind Rachel's ear and leaned in close to whisper in her ear, while nodding towards the opening of the alley. "You want to be a little bit naughty and maybe make out a little bit down there."
"BRODY WESTON! I am not making out with you in public!" a scandalised Rachel quickly replied.
The young couple walked a bit further down the road before Rachel heard Brody phone beep in his pocket indicating he just received a message. Brody pulled out his phone and took a quick glance at the message before once again putting his phone away.
"Anything important?" asked Rachel
"No nothing to worry about. Come on let's get you home"
Just as they had continued on for another couple of meters, Brody suddenly pushed Rachel up against the wall of a nearby building and kissed her deeply and passionately. Before Rachel could realise what was happening and regain her bearings a multitude of flashes surrounded the pair. A startled Rachel finally managed to push Brody off her, to then become coherent to the pandemonium unfolding before her.
Surrounding Brody and Rachel was a throng of paparazzi and reporter's yelling and screaming questions at her. There was a time not too long ago that Rachel told Mr Schue that she couldn't wait for the day the paparazzi provoked her. Now living and experiencing the reality she realised a young fame hungry naïve girl made those comments. Rachel tried to push her way through the gathering of paparazzi but was struggling to do so because of being blinded by the multiply camera flashes. All the while still being inundated with questions from the media mob.
"Rachel is it true your adopted?"
"Rachel, since you have two gay dad's, what's your view on gay rights?"
"Are you going to get a nose job?"
"Whose the hunky guy, Rachel?"
"Do you think making out in public is being a good role model for your young fans?"
"Who are you wearing?"
"Are you stalking Barbra Streisand?"
"Are you pregnant?"
"Rachel did you pull a Tonya Harding to get your one time understudy Santana to quit, Funny Girl?"
"What should Obama due about peace in the Middle East?"
Rachel had to admit that last question really threw her. Why would you ask a young Broadway actress her views on the Middle East? She hasn't once shown an interest in political matters. Maybe they thought she might be savvy on that particular issue given her Jewish ancestry.
Brody pushed through the surging mob and bundling Rachel into an unseen waiting cab, before yelling at the driver to, "Hit it!" As the cab drove off into the New York night, Rachel buried her face into Brody's shirt.
"Thanks for saving me back there Brody. How did they know where we were? I didn't even know where we were. I'm so embarrassed they got pictures of us like…like that," Rachel tiredly said as she once again buried her face in Brody's Shirt.
Brody just simply held Rachel comfortingly while looking back at the dispersing throng of paparazzi fading into the distance with a sneaky smirk on his face. While muttering, "I have absolutely no idea Rachel, no idea at all. Don't worry your safe now." As he laid back and relaxed in the cab, zoning out to the ambient New York City street noise and the light snores of one Rachel Berry.