Blonde vs blonde. Ginger vs Ginger. One heck of a catfight.

Part 1: Happily ever after?

But alas, all good things came to an end, trouble was stirring. And the trouble came in the form of 3 mischievous and sadistic sisters who lived in the trailer park next to the "cul de sac". Three nasty sisters known to all as "the Kanker sisters".

Another day came and went and once again the Eds had made quite a profit from their daily guests. Their theme park ruled. They had created many projects before, but this was their masterpiece, and Nazz's too. It stood around to the old abandoned warehouse with the rides outside the warehouse and the shops inside.

"We're gonna be slurping on jawbreakers tonight with the ton of cash we made today, right guys?" asked Eddy.

"You can say that again dude" replied Nazz excitedly as Edd counted up their daily earnings. "Ed like jawbreakers" added Ed, licking his lips.

"Oh no you won't" jeered an ominous voice followed by the sound of hysterical and ominous laughter.

"Hey" snapped Eddy "who said that?".
Instead of receiving an answer to his question, the voice began to sing a jangled and threatening song which struck cold fear into the hearts of the Eds, who immediately covered their ears upon hearing the horrible song. "Ed Edd n Eddy, sitting in a tree. K.I.S.S.I.N.G". The song sang over and over again like a gramophone on repeat and seemed to get louder and louder.

A horrible laughter followed as three shadows appeared in the distance. The shadows seemed to materialize, as they got closer, into three freckled girls with devilish grins upon their faces and crimson red lipsticks on their lips. They had eyes like golf-balls and deep blue eyeliner which only seemed to make them seem more intimidating than they already were.

Though they were sisters, they were as different to each other as a cat to a dog. Lee, the eldest was a redhead with long and curled hair which covered his eyes, one wondered how she could see. Her malicious grin reduced the Eds to shivering lumps of flesh who unable to look away from her, or say a word.

Marie, the middle sister, had short and straight blue hair which almost made her look like a boy. Her eyes gleamed with cleverness, not wisdom but cunning. The way she rubbed her hands together made her look more criminal than a criminal. Who knew how many dark secrets she held in that conniving mind of hers. With eyes like that, you could not trust her as far as you could throw her. And to throw her rather than welcome her into your house when you saw her, was a wise choice. The further the better.

May, the youngest, was a blondie just like Nazz. Because of this, and the fact that they shared the same voice actress (whatever that meant), Nazz almost felt a kinship with May. She almost felt that had they met in another where and when, they could have been friends for life. They certainly looked similar enough to be sisters.

But alas, May was not a polite and good natured blonde like Nazz who spoke and sang with the sound of an angel. May was a buck-toothed bender who used her innocent looks to manipulate and seduce others into furthering her own selfish desires. Her buck teeth gave her voice a nasal and brittle quality and her singing was a worse noise than the howl of a banshee.

The three demons known as "the Kanker sisters" advanced upon the Eds menacingly like dark shadows. The wave of sunlight that shone on the Eds seemed to be cut off as the Kankers advanced further forward. "Hey boyfriends" they hissed in unison "so glad to see you once more".

"Give us ya money" they snapped. "Um, sorry but..." Edd (double D) tried to say as Marie lumbered forward and grabbed him by the collar. "Its ours" protested Eddy as he held tightly to their weekly earnings which they had been saving up that week for their visit to the shop. Every penny they had not yet spent, was in that jar which Eddy clutched on to tightly. But it did him no good as Lee held him in a chin-lock and hooked the jar out of his hand. "Money" sighed Lee happily as she eyed the jar she had stolen from Eddy. "Thank you for the lovely wedding present ,husband" sighed Lee happily much to the chagrin of the strangled Eddy.

"Ed no like kissies, let Ed go please!" begged Ed as May held him in a back-breaking hug which he could not avoid in time. Then as they began to shower the Eds in forced kisses, Nazz watched with an expression of utter disbelief and disgust. She knew that the Kankers had abused the Eds before but she never supposed it to be this bad. She was surprised no one had told the police about this yet.

At this point Nazz was stuck, making a tough moral decision in her mind. She could easily back away and leave the scene, the Kankers had no grudge against her and more or less ignored her, but just what would they do to the poor Eds if she did that?. Or she could fight. Yet it was three to one in this fight and somehow Nazz didn't think she would have much of a chance here.

But she knew that if she just did nothing, the Eds would be subject to another dehumanizing torture session of sheer agony and woe. In the time it had taken her to think those thoughts, the Kankers had tied the Eds up with rope and thrown them on board a wagon they had brought with them. "Lay off" demanded Nazz angrily "let them go, they haven't done anything to you and you're acting like total jerks". "Ooh, a tough one" remarked Lee as Nazz's words arrested her attention "you know who we are?" she said as she stepped closer to Nazz "we're the Kanker sisters and you ain't gonna take our boyfriends away from us."

"Hey I think I know you" blurted Marie suddenly as she too began to step closer to Nazz "You're that blonde one who's friends with that guy called Kevin.". "You've made a big mistake messing with us" threatened May as she too approached Nazz "So I'd beat it if I were you, blondie". By now the Kankers had formed a semi-circle around Nazz and were brandishing their fists in anticipation, clearly eager for a fight.

"Run Nazz, Run!" called Eddy, but Nazz clearly did not hear him. "What you're doing to them is wrong and you need to stop it right now, dude" shouted Nazz, struggling to keep calm after seeing such horrific abuse being inflicted upon her three best friends "you're being a bunch of jerks".

"How dare you insult the good Kanker name" shouted Lee as she raised her fists and grinned devilishly at Nazz "I think its time for blondie to learn some manners, right girls".

"Right" cackled Marie and May as they spread out in a circle around Nazz, sealing off any possibility of escape. "Say you're sorry" ordered Lee to Nazz "say you're sorry right now or you're gonna have a bad time. Apologize so we can go give our boyfriends some good old mouth to mouth". "Over my dead body" replied Nazz defiantly as she directed her fist at Lee's face. But alas, it was a case of wrong place wrong time. And the Eds knew even as the fight began that there was no way Nazz could fight off all three antagonists.

Lee was prepared for that blow, she put her arms up around her face and blocked off Nazz's blow. Nazz tried again but by now the three sisters had closed in around her and she had no hope. Lee once again parried the blow and as Nazz prepared for a kick to Lee's shin, she did not see Marie and May closing in behind her.

Nazz felt a heavy blow to the back of her head and darkness washed over her vision as a bag was put over her face. Then she felt her soul detaching from her body as an even heavier blow struck her on the back of her head. As the last of her consciousness faded, she felt strong hands grab her and fling her. The last thing she heard was a loud ringing in her ears as someone called her name desperately over and over again.

Part 2:Sarah

She woke feeling groggy and puzzled. What just happened?, where was she?. She held her hand up to check her head for injuries, only to find her hands were tied up and could not move. As her sight cleared she looked around only to find her legs were tied too. She could still move her head a little though and she tilted her head to the side a little. And then it hit her.

She realized with gruesome horror what the Kankers had done to her after she had been knocked unconscious. The Kankers had tied her to a cross like Jesus. Her arms were bound to either side of the cross tightly, tied up by rope. Her legs were tied up too, and no matter how she tried, she could not get free of the solid ropes that coiled around her arms and legs like cobras strangling their prey.

She was in the junkyard, it was clear the Kankers did this to her while she was unconscious. Her arms and legs began to hurt tremendously and she shouted for help, at least her mouth was not muffled.

"Shout, struggle. Call as loudly as ya like but no one will hear you" teased Marie as she stepped out from behind a dustbin with her arms crossed. Nazz, having no more energy to shout instead glared at Marie, her eyes filled with hatred in its most concentrated form.

"Poor blondie" sneered Marie with sarcasm "you should know better than to go asking for trouble". She slapped Nazz in the face several times. "We'll deal with you later" Marie threatened "right now, we have some boyfriends to make out with, so why don't you just stay here and have some fun until we get back. Sound good, blondie?".

"You won't get away with this" called Nazz, weakly but angrily. "We already have" sneered Marie as she gave Nazz a heavy blow to the face which left Nazz with a black eye, before turning away from the blonde girl and leaving her tied up as she left.

Against Marie's advice, Nazz continued to call for help only to find that Marie was right. The junkyard was too far away for anyone to hear her cries for assistance. She shuddered as she thought of all the horrific torture the Eds would be forced to endure when the Kankers returned to the trailer park, and had to bite her lip hard to stop herself from crying.

And here she was, the main actor in the Kankers play "the tragedy of Jesus" and she was the main character. Now she knew how the Eds felt over the years the Kankers had cruelly abused them, and she cursed herself for letting the Kankers get away with doing such horrible things. Yet it was too late now, she was as helpless as a dummy and she could only begin to imagine what the Kankers would do to her when they came back. As if being tied to a cross for several hours to come wasn't a bad enough punishment when all she wanted was the Kankers to leave her friends alone.

She closed her eyes and began to pray, she knew it was worthless but at least it would while away the time and give her a false sense of hope to make her feel better.

She prayed for a turncoat, she prayed for a double crosser, she prayed for someone to see that the Eds were good people who deserved respect as much as anyone else. She prayed for some kid to come and help her before the Kankers came back, and after praying desperately. and fervently for a while she fell asleep with exhaustion. She thought of course that a miracle simply did not happen, they only happened in fairy tales and this was no fairy tale. She had neither faith nor hope as tiredness overtook her and she slept.

"Jimmy, oh Jimmy" called the voice that woke Nazz up immediately. Nazz recognized the speaker as Sarah, Ed's abusive and domineering little sister who despised her older brother despite the fact he loved her and would do anything to make her happy. She was however, on good terms with Nazz and liked to think of Nazz as a sister of sorts. She was a redhead with a pink tank top and like Nazz, she wore blue jeans.

"Where are ya Jimmy?" shouted Sarah, looking all around her as she got closer to Nazz, but not glancing in Nazz's direction. "Nope, not here" sighed Sarah as she turned to leave once more.

Hoping that her cry would not go unheeded by her short tempered friend Nazz tried to shout a greeting, it was her only chance at rescue.

"Help, me" she called, as loudly as she could, yet Sarah seemed to lost in thought as she turned away to look for her friend Jimmy elsewhere. "Help" sobbed Nazz more desperately "Please... help".

This time, her cry was heeded and Sarah spun round. "Nazz?" she gasped as she took in the shocking sight she saw"What happened to you?, who did this to you?".

"They did" replied Nazz tearfully" they'll be back any minute now so please help me".

"You mean those nasty jerks called the Kankers?". Sarah knew all too well that when someone was tied up like that, it could only be the Kankers who did it. She had been tied up many times by the Kankers too after all. "Gee Nazz, I'd love to help you and all, but what if they come for me as well. What if they realize I helped you?. Sorry Nazz, I can't risk it. Those Kankers have done a lot of horrible things to me in the past, and I'm sorry. I can't help you."

Nazz gave sarah a look of scorn. A look that said "You've let me down". And her tone was hard as she replied to Sarah "I thought we were friends, Sarah. Isn't that what you said. You said we were friends and friends are supposed to help each other. No matter what".

Sarah, though somewhat moved by Nazz's words, still begun to turn around as if to head away. And Nazz, realizing that talking was useless, sang instead.

She sang a song she and Sarah had sung together the day they first met, a song to show their mutual affections for each other and one they always sung together on saint valentines day to remember that special day they met. It was the friendship song, and it went like this...

When you stub your toe and it hurts you know,

Friends are there to help you.

When you trip on your face and your teeth are misplaced,

Friends are there to help you.

When you're flyin' low and you're givin' a show,

Friends are there to help you.

When you take off your shoes and your feet stink – PEE-YEW!

Friends are there to help you. (song ends)

And as Nazz sang the last line, Sarah's attitude was quick to change as she rushed over and quickly set to work with her razor sharp teeth. She used her teeth like knives as she bit the ropes tying Nazz to the cross. And soon Nazz could move her arms and legs again.

"Thanks" she said, shaking Sarah's hand when she had been freed. "So can I go now?" asked Sarah "I gotta go find Jimmy, he's gone missing again".

"Actually" replied Nazz "I need your help with something else please". "What is it?"demanded Sarah impatiently.

So Nazz explained to Sarah how the Kankers had taken the Eds hostage and were probably about to torture them even now. She told Sarah how the Kankers had left her tied up like this when she tried to stand up to them.

"Serves em right" hollered Sarah when Nazz had finished "Ed deserves it. He smells, He's stupid, he"

"He's your brother, Sarah. Your brother! " shouted Nazz angrily cutting of Sarah's torrent of ranting. "Don't you have any heart at all ,you heartless person".

"Yeah. Okay so he's my brother" admitted Sarah reluctantly "but that still doesn't change..."

"Doesn't change what, Sarah?" demanded Nazz, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She could not believe there that there was sister who would show so little regard for the brother who had given her so much. "Doesn't change the fact he cares so much about you even when you've abused him so much?, doesn't change the fact he's taken the blame for several things that were entirely your fault?. Eh?".
"What kind of sister are you?" asked Nazz, shocked at Sarah's lack of compassion"What kind of sister would treat their brother the way you treat yours, you're a monster".

"Ed lived for you, Sarah. I've seen it myself. He did everything he could to make you happy and feel loved. And is this the thanks he gets?".

Nazz stopped for a second to catch her breath, before beginning a emotional and heartfelt sermon that lasted quarter of an hour about how all brothers and sisters should love each other. Nazz told Sarah how she once had a younger sister called "Jazz", and how when her younger sister was taken away from her by incredibly unpleasant circumstances, Nazz felt as if a part of her had died and how even today she cried for the beloved sister she would never see again.

I will not tell you the exact words Nazz used, but by the time she had finished, a change had come over the loud-mouthed and short-tempered girl called Sarah.

"You should care Sarah, because others will treat you the way you treat others" concluded Nazz, looking Sarah in the eye with intensity and fierceness even the angriest man would envy.

"I'm, I'm sorry" spluttered Sarah as she covered her eyes with her hands. Then she shook as spasms of grief seemed to rip her apart and tears welled from her face, staining her top. Nazz put an arm around Sarah as she consoled her and realized that deep down, Sarah's seemingly empty and cold heart held light and a desire to do what was right.

"Sorry doesn't cut it Sarah" replied Nazz apologetically "If you're really as sorry as you say you are, then come with me and show your brother you really are sorry for him. You can apologize to him when we've saved him from the Kankers"

Sarah nodded, drying her tears with her sleeves. The two friends made their plans as they sneaked towards the trailer park cautiously, careful to make as little noise as possible. It was show time.

Part 3: catfight

A few minutes later, they were standing outside park'n flush, the parking lot where the Kankers had their trailer which they lived in and where the Eds were now doubt being held captive. "I'll go first" whispered Nazz as they got closer to the trailer where the Kankers lived. They were right beside the trailer now, though they could hear nothing from the inside. They crawled around the trailer cautiously. careful to stay low as they scouted the outside. The curtains were drawn so there was no hope of looking through the window.

Nazz whispered something into Sarah's ears as they crawled back to the trailer door. Then she began banging on the door as loudly as she could and just as the trailer door was opened, she crouched down and hid. The door opened and Marie stepped out, enraged and furious as she saw Sarah outside making all sorts of funny faces at her.

As she stepped forward to teach that annoying little brat a lesson, Nazz leaped out from her hiding place and thumped her in the back of her head. She turned the dazed Marie round to face her, and gave her a single jaw-crushing blow which caused Marie to clutch her nose and drop to the ground, barely conscious.

"One down" cheered Sarah, but her victory was short lived for before they could hide, two more figures poured out from the open door. One of them held a frying pan, the other a spatula, it was clear they were about to cook something. Both of them clenched their teeth in fury as they saw the barely conscious Marie lying wounded on the ground.

"Kill, those creeps" pleaded Marie pointing accusingly at Nazz and Sarah. "You've got some nerve, coming here, interrupting our evening" sneered Lee, running a finger through her long ginger hair. "You're gonna look mighty funny eating corn with no teeth" spat May, the blonde haired sister of the Kanker family, standing beside Lee.

"Go to plan b" mouthed Nazz to Sarah wordlessly "I'll get May, you take care of Lee".

"This is gonna be one heck of a fight" yelled Lee as she charged, whirling her frying pan like lightening. She brought it down onto Sarah, but Sarah simply somersaulted away and Lee's frying pan hit only air. Lee growled as she roared a challenge and proceeded to swing the frying pan she wielded several times at Sarah, but Sarah being the small but agile little monkey she was, managed to avoid them all. For a brief second, fatigue made Lee let her guard down and Sarah leaped at Lee and tackled her to the ground. The two began to thrash around on the ground.

Meanwhile May and Nazz were involved in a fight of their own."Go to hell, blondie" snickered May as she swung the spatula at Nazz. Nazz raised an arm to parry the blow and managed to flick out a foot to trip May. May was off balance when she almost tripped on Nazz's foot and Nazz managed to land a light jab to May's stomach.

Then she took hold of May's arms with hers and the two began to grapple. As she did she looked towards Sarah to see that the battle was going badly for her, she could see that Sarah would not hold out much longer on her own against Lee without some help. And yet Nazz could do nothing to help Sarah while she still had May to worry about.

In this battle, it really was blonde vs blonde and ginger vs ginger. Which blonde would be the fairest of them all?, and which "ginger-hair" would be the greater of the two gingers?.

May eventually managed to shake Nazz off her and after grabbing the spatula she had dropped on the ground, she charged at Nazz and swung the strongest blow she could manage. But Nazz had intended for just that, and when May's anger made her swing too hard, she lost balance completely and fell over. Nazz easily avoided that blow. To make sure she stayed down, Nazz put her foot onto May's head, causing her face to touch the hard gravel on the floor for a few seconds. Nazz detested doing so but a fight was a fight.

After making sure May would not get up for a while, Nazz rushed to assist Sarah with her fight against Lee. "Stay back Nazz" yelled Sarah "Lee's days of abusing me are over, I can take care of this. Go get Ed and his friends while I finish this". "Well, okay" replied Nazz nervously. She stepped back as violence exploded once more as Lee and Sarah began to kick at each other, Nazz was half horrified and half curious to see which ginger would win.

But there was no time to waste with that. Nazz rushed inside the trailer and in a back room, she found the Eds tied up and gagged. "Thank you so much Nazz" shouted Eddy joyfully as Nazz untied the ropes "What would we do without you". "It's not just me" replied Nazz "It's someone else too, but you''re welcome. dude"

The Eds were puzzled but nonetheless followed Nazz out of the trailer. There they saw Sarah proudly standing on top of a barely conscious Lee. She was slightly bruised and had a black eye but it was clear she had beat her opponent to a pulp.

"Baby sister" cheered Ed, clearly happy to see his younger sister, even if she was the one who brought much pain and suffering into his miserable life which had only just begun to improve.

"Sarah..." reminded Nazz, taking Sarah by the hand and leading her so that she stood in front of Ed "I think there's something you should say to your brother".

Sarah took a deep breath and sighed as she began her apology. She had never been particularly good at apologizing for anything as she never thought anything she had ever done was wrong. "I'm sorry Ed" she began "I'm sorry I keep getting you into trouble with mom and dad when its not your fault and I'm sorry I've made your life so miserable until now". Sarah looked into Eds eyes for the first time she had done in a long time, her hands shook as she held Eds hand and weakly shook it.

"Can you ever forgive me, Ed, brother?" asked Sarah in the softest and most sincere voice she had spoken in for years.

"Aww, Baby sister. You don't need to apologize" replied Ed bashfully as he held his sister in his arms and felt her soft and warm body against his own "I'm just glad we are friends once more"

"Awww" sighed the other Eds and Nazz as they watched the two siblings unite once more after years of sibling rivalry. After years of mistreating her lovable if somewhat dumb brother, Sarah had finally accepted him as an equal. Ed finally had what he had wanted for so long, even more than he wanted jawbreakers. And that was a family member who loved and cared about him the same way he cared about them. His mum and dad still hated him, but at least his sister didn't anymore, and that filled his heart with indescribable joy and warmth.

"I wonder who the next double crosser to join our noble cause will be" muttered Double D as the group walked in a body back to Nazz's house to rest and recuperate.

Meanwhile back at the trailer park, May finally regained enough strength to sit up. "You're going down, blondie" she snickered before laughing maniacally so that all the birds flew away.

I can make the bad guys good for a weekend, thought Nazz cheerfully to herself, happy that Sarah had finally seen the error of her ways.

END OF CHAPTER