Thank you so much for all the reviews - it's amazing to have so many.

Tato Potato, thank you for your review. If there is good news, it would probably be a first for this story - I really have been very cruel to poor Ethan - again!

LittleBritishPerson, I'm glad you liked Cal and Charlie's conversation. It wasn't one of the easier chapters! Cal and Charlie are very different, but Cal needs a father figure and I imagine Charlie wants to feel he's not a bad father figure. Thank you for your review.

Becs2202, I'm glad you're still enjoying my stories! I have trouble with the reviewing part sometimes. Thank you for your review and I'm really glad I managed to capture some of Charlie's wisdom.

X-Sammii-X, thank you for your review. Cal really loves Ethan a lot so I thought he'd want the best doctors and nurses to be with him. This whole mess would never have happened if Cal didn't love Ethan so much! I wish Ethan could see that.

CBloom2, everything is fine now, but thank you for caring. There's not quite so much of a cliffie today - or perhaps there is: it depends on your point of view! I hope it's not quite as stressful as the others. Thank you for your review.

20BlueRoses, thank you for your review - I'm glad I'm keeping you guessing! Even though there's only a slight possibility, I thought it would be more than enough to frighten Cal to death! They do have a lot to talk about - let's hope they actually talk!

tracys dream, thank you for your review - I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. More is on its way!

Bonnie Sveen Fan, I hope Connie has good news too - if she has bad news, I've got an even bigger challenge than usual! Thank you for your review.

Tanith Panic, I know what you mean - some sad stories are just sad and there's nothing else to be got out of the story so it doesn't seem worth reading. Thank you for not putting me in that category! It is a nightmare and they haven't even begun to discuss it! Thank you for your review.

Thank you to TVObsessedGirl28 for the follow and favourite.

Everything hurt.

Ethan's head ached. So did his shoulder and his leg. It was horrible and he knew immediately that his injuries were serious, but it was his heart that hurt the most.

Connie had told him he'd been in an accident, but he didn't remember it at all. He remembered being very angry with Cal and driving off, but he didn't know what he was doing on the stretch of road where he'd been found. Perhaps he didn't have a reason. Perhaps he'd just wanted to drive; to put distance between himself and Cal in some vain hope that it would make the truth less real.

He couldn't believe that his mother - that both his mothers - had concealed something so important from their children. It devastated him because he'd believed his mother - his adoptive mother - was perfect. He had so many wonderful memories of the elder Matilda and now they would be forever tarnished.

"Did it hurt when I was born, Mummy?" asked Ethan, as he sat on his mother's lap, her arms around him.

Matilda smiled and hugged him closer, kissing the top of his head. "I don't remember any pain, Ethan. All I remember is how I felt when I first held you in my arms. Nothing else matters." Her voice shook slightly with emotion. "It was so wonderful. A tiny little bundle in my arms; a little miracle of life and you were all mine… well, mine and Daddy's and Caleb's. You had such beautiful blue eyes… they didn't become an even more beautiful brown for a couple of months."

There had been the first clue, if only Ethan had seen it. You wouldn't expect to notice a change in your baby's eye colour until six to nine months after birth. There might be some change after two months, but it was far more likely that Ethan hadn't been two months old.

"Did you breastfeed or bottle-feed me and Caleb, Mummy?"

"I bottle-fed you," Matilda replied.

"Why?" said Ethan. "Breast milk is much better for babies than bottle-fed because of the colostrum in the baby's first drink of milk, which helps develop the digestive tract, as well as the ideal mix of nutrients that can't be found in bottled milk. Breastfed babies also have a decreased risk of asthma and allergies and get fewer ear infections." Ethan had been interested in medicine from a very young age and the fact he wasn't completely sure what the digestive tract was didn't stop him from talking about it.

"I… I couldn't breastfeed you and Caleb, Ethan," said Matilda. "I wasn't able to produce any milk."

She looked a bit sad so Ethan hugged her. "Don't worry, Mummy. Me and Caleb still turned out perfect." He smiled mischievously. "Well, I did anyway."

Matilda hugged him back. "Yes, Ethan. You really did."

Ethan felt tears on his cheeks and lifted a hand to wipe them away.

"Here, Ethan," said Rita soothingly, and gave him a tissue.

"Thank you," murmured Ethan, trying to drag his mind away from the happy memories. He couldn't think of them now. He was in pain and he was tired and all he wanted was for it all to have been a dream. He closed his eyes and tried to fight back a sob. "Rita?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" said Rita, stroking his good arm: the one that wasn't in a sling.

Ethan tried to blink away more tears. "Was the accident my fault?"

Rita's voice was gentle. "I'm afraid we don't know exactly what happened, Ethan. But I know you wouldn't deliberately cause a car accident. You're a very careful driver."

"But I-I've already caused one accident since I came to the ED," sniffled Ethan.

Rita spoke firmly. "No, Ethan. Look at me."

Ethan didn't have his glasses on, but he looked obediently in her direction.

"The first accident wasn't your fault and I'm sure the second wasn't either. You're a good driver, Ethan, and you're always very considerate of other people. Car accidents happen all the time. Sometimes it's another driver; sometimes it's a problem with one of the cars; sometimes it's just bad luck. I'm sure it wasn't your fault."

"But I was so angry with him," said Ethan.

"With who?"

"Cal," said Ethan. "He told me something. Something that affects my whole life. Something he's known about for ages. He only told me now because I trapped him in the lift and said I wouldn't let him out till he'd told me what was wrong."

Rita stroked his hand. "It's difficult breaking bad news. We have to do it several times a day and it never gets easier, but we get on with it because it's our job and because it's only our problem for the time they're in the ED. Then, however painful it was, we can usually switch off because that's what we've been trained to do. But breaking bad news to your brother is a bit more difficult than that."

"Of course, but he had to tell me, Rita. I had the right to know. I needed to know. But he didn't tell me. Not for months!"

"So he made a mistake," said Rita. "He made a big mistake and you're understandably upset."

Ethan closed his eyes against more tears. "I'm not just upset. I'm scared, Rita. Scared of what might happen. Scared of what could have happened. He only told me because I forced him. I just keep thinking: what if I hadn't? What if he'd never told me?" What if I had no idea at all, until suddenly, I couldn't remember something? Or if I had a decision to make at work and I just couldn't do it. What if I became depressed or angry and I didn't know why? What if my hand shook when I was treating someone and I killed someone?

"You don't know that he wouldn't have told you," said Rita. "Some people need time before they're ready to talk about a problem. At first, they won't even admit there's a problem. Then they hope it'll go away."

"Yes, that's Cal," said Ethan grimly, "but this isn't something that's going to go away – and he knows it!"

"Maybe he did," said Rita. "I don't know the situation so I can't judge. But Cal reacts with his emotions and emotions aren't logical. You can't judge Cal by the way you think you'd react because you're completely different in that respect – and if he's in a situation you've never been in, you can't be sure how you'd react either."

Ethan closed his eyes. "But I wouldn't… I'm sure I wouldn't… I would tell him... wouldn't I?"

In his weakened state, he was unable to fight his emotions and he was grateful when Rita just placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a moment to cry. She said nothing until he started to stammer out apologies, but her voice cut across him firmly. "Don't apologise, Ethan. You have no reason to apologise." Then she gave him another tissue and went back to holding his shoulder until he'd got his tears fully under control.

He opened his mouth to apologise again, but the look Rita gave him was eloquent. Ethan gave a small smile and said nothing. Rita smiled back and squeezed his shoulder as Ethan's thoughts returned to his brother.

"Where's Cal?" he asked. "Is he here?"

Rita seemed surprised by the question. "Of course he's here. He came to see you in Resus, then he went off to the staff room with Charlie."

Ethan felt a stab of hurt as he heard Charlie's name. He knew Charlie had been been a big support for Cal, but he couldn't help wishing he had someone to talk to. Someone who would listen to him and comfort him and help him do what he needed to do.

"Connie's gone to get him, so I'm sure he'll be here soon," said Rita.

Ethan sighed again. "If he hasn't run off."

Rita patted his arm. "Even if he has, I doubt Charlie would let him get very far." She looked at Ethan for a moment. "You do want to see him, don't you?"

"I don't know," said Ethan. "He's my big brother and I need him, but he hurt me so much. I'm really not sure I want to see him ever again."