Thank you for all the support and kind comments about this story! There will be two more chapters after this one.
LittleBritishPerson, I'm so glad you liked the flashbacks - they were fun to write. Don't worry: I won't be including the part where Ethan says they're not brothers anymore. That kind of thing is banned from my stories! Thank you for your review.
Tanith Panic, I'm glad you like little Ethan! I don't think he's changed much, though Cal might not agree. It is sad that he's angry with Cal - perhaps it's as well he's in no condition to start a fight! Thank you for your review.
Gillian Kearney Fan, thank you for your review. I agree with you that Ethan doesn't mean it - but he's angry, as you say, and probably terrified too! I'm really happy you liked the flashbacks.
X-Sammii-X, thank you for your review. I love them when they're supporting each other too. Those TV writers are brilliant, but they're torturing us - Cal and Ethan need hugs! Though it won't happen in this chapter...
CBloom2, Ethan does want to see him more than anything - I know he does! I just hope he realises before the end of the story or I'll get some very angry reviews! Thank you for your review.
tracys dream, I hope Ethan does realise how much he needs Cal - on TV as well as in this story! Even if he takes every painkiller in the hospital, not all his hurts will go away. Thank you for your review.
20BlueRoses, I'm so glad you enjoyed the flashbacks - I've imagined lots of different versions of Ethan as a child, but I like the idea of him being intelligent and geeky - just as he is now! Thank you for your review.
Cal's first reaction was disbelief. He looked at Connie as though he could hardly believe it. "He's okay? He's really okay?"
"I think 'okay' is overstretching things a little," said Connie. "He's alive. He's stable. He's awake and talking, though he can't remember anything about the accident. But I'm not sure that someone with a head injury, a dislocated shoulder and a fractured leg can really be considered 'okay'."
"But he's alive?" said Cal.
"If I must repeat myself, then yes. He is alive," said Connie.
Cal moved on to his second reaction, which was to cry. Connie looked like she was going to have little patience with this reaction, but then, to his surprise, she sat beside him and spoke to the gentle voice that she sometimes used for patients.
"Cal, it's all right. I know it's been a terrible shock for you. If you need a couple of minutes, that's fine. I can wait." She stroked Cal's arm. "Ethan's going to need you to be as strong as possible and you're a good doctor so I know you're very capable of looking after people who are ill. There's no need to worry. You've got this."
"It's not that," sniffed Cal. "I'm just glad he's okay. Alive. Still Ethan."
"He'll always be Ethan," said Connie. She waited with unusual patience until Cal's tears had stopped. "Are you ready to go now?"
Cal nodded and got shakily to his feet and he walked towards Resus, flanked by Connie and Charlie. He was aware of Charlie shooting concerned glances at him and he could understand why. Charlie knew the full story.
Connie might not know what had preceded Ethan's accident, but Charlie did. Cal had accepted Charlie's point that the world was full of reckless drivers who could have caused Ethan's accident, but Cal was the reason Ethan had been there. He was the reason why there was even the smallest doubt of its being caused by another driver.
Cal was the person Ethan might hate - and Charlie knew it.
Cal stopped suddenly and Connie had moved several paces ahead of him before he realised. Charlie, however, was much more attuned to Cal's state of mine and went just one step ahead of him.
"I can't do this," said Cal, his eyes filling with tears again.
"Of course you can," said Charlie. "And you're going to."
"What's the problem?" asked Connie.
Cal wiped his hands across his eyes. "I can't see him."
There was a pause before Connie answered. "I've told you, Dr Knight. There's nothing seriously wrong with him. There's a gash on his forehead, but it's no more serious than the one you suffered a couple of weeks ago. His arm is in a sling and his leg is in plaster, but I'm sure it's nothing you haven't seen a hundred times before."
"Connie, it's a bit different when it's his brother," said Charlie.
"That's true, Charlie, but Cal, you've seen your brother in Resus," said Connie. "You've treated him in Resus! That was a much more serious accident than this. Your nerves are understandable, but you mustn't let them take control."
More tears flowed down Cal's cheeks. "I can't. I just can't!" He turned and prepared to run, but Charlie caught Cal by the shoulders, his grip surprisingly strong.
"No, Cal. You're not going to run away this time. You've been running away for weeks and now it's time for it to stop. That's your brother in there and you need to be there for him. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. I'm sure it will be very upsetting. But however upsetting it is for you, don't you think it's going to be worse for your little brother, who's had a number of shocks today and finished up by having a car accident? Don't you think this is the time to push your feelings aside and be there for your little brother?"
"What if he hates me?" wept Cal.
"Then you accept that, but you don't give up," said Charlie. "Prove to him that he's wrong to hate you. Prove to him that you're a good man."
Cal continued to sob. "But I don't think I am, Charlie. I'm not a good man. I'm a coward."
"You're scared," said Charlie. "That's understandable. But being scared doesn't mean you can't face the thing that frightens you. And you're going to face it. I've been reticent for too long and so have you. It's time to do the right thing, Cal."
"But I've already done the right thing," sobbed Cal. "I told him the truth. And look what happened."
Charlie nodded. "What happened was very sad – and it could have been a lot worse. But you did the right thing in telling him."
Cal sniffed. "Then how can I do the right thing again now?"
"By offering him your support," said Charlie. "That's what he needs. He needs his big brother. He needs you to help him come to terms with what you've told him today. If he feels anger towards either of his mothers, reassure him that's okay after a shock like this. He's probably feeling so many things at once, just as you were. He needs to be able to talk about that. He needs someone to reassure him that what he's feeling is okay."
"Can't you talk to him?" said Cal desperately.
"Of course I can," said Charlie, much to his surprise. "I'm here for both of you. That hasn't changed."
Cal leaned back against the wall in relief. "So you can… go and see him now?"
"No!" said Charlie.
Cal jumped slightly at the volume of the nurse's voice.
Charlie's voice softened. "Cal, I know you're upset and I'm sorry, but you can't get out of this. Not this time. I will be there for you and support you and if Ethan needs a chat, he can come and talk to me. But I can't do this for you. You need to make amends with your brother and only you can do that. Let him see how much you care. Let him see how sorry you are. I can't do that for you – and knowing Ethan, I think it would mean nothing coming from me. It can only be you, Cal."
"But I'm scared!"
"We all get scared all the time," said Charlie. "It makes us human. I'm sure you get scared, don't you, Connie?"
Connie gave him an icy glare, but Charlie met it serenely, waiting for her reply.
"Oh, all right, Charlie," she muttered. "I get scared sometimes. But you don't know because I don't let anyone see. I don't let it stop me from doing what needs to be done. You were scared when you saved your brother, Dr Knight, but you knew it needed to be done and you made sure it was. I imagine you were scared when you were the one who was involved in a car accident. It's not being afraid that makes you a coward. It's allowing your fears to control you."
Cal shook his head. "I don't have the courage, Connie."
"Perhaps not," said Connie. "But sometimes, you need to find the courage because the other option is unthinkable. Even without knowing all the details, I think leaving your brother to face this alone is unthinkable. So go and see him now, please. What's the worst he's going to do? Ask you to leave? Well, it wouldn't be the first time. If he asks you to leave, you stay a little while, attempt to convince him, but if you can't persuade him, you respect his wishes – and come back another time." She took two slow, deliberate steps, then looked back at him over her shoulder. "Come with me, Dr Knight."
Cal stood, poised to fight or flight.
Charlie's hand curled around his arm. "It's time to fight, Cal. With yourself."
Cal wanted to run. He wanted to run and run and never come back. But Connie's gaze and Charlie's grip propelled him along and before he knew it, he was outside one of the private rooms.
"It'll be okay," said Charlie. "I'll be here waiting for you."
"I won't be," said Connie, "but you can be sure, if you do leave, that I will find out."
Her voice left Cal in no doubt that she meant it. He looked at Charlie and found him equally determined.
"Good luck, Dr Knight," said Connie.
Cal's stomach was knotted in fear, but he didn't run. He turned to the door and opened it slowly to see Ethan and Rita. Ethan's eyes were red and Rita was stroking his arm.
Cal stepped nervously into the room.