Hello everyone in FanFiction land and welcome to Chapter 16. Just a heads up to everyone this chapter is slightly angsty as Rachel acts out a little bit. I'll leave the author's note there, as I don't want to give away too much of the plot in this chapter. Once again all the legal stuff belongs to Ryan Murphy & FOX except my characters. So please read, review, rewind, then read and review again…enjoy!
Rachel had just finished rehearsing her big solo in Funny Girl, My Man, when she decided she needed a drink of water. As she reached for her water bottle Rachel glanced up because she thought she felt someone watching her. But when she looked up everyone was busy practicing their routines and numbers for the show. Except Tamara Clayton, Rachel's understudy, she was just weirdly watching Rachel with a large smirk on her face from across the room. Great first of all I have the worst ever day of my life where everything that could go wrong, does go wrong; and now it appears Tamara has gone even crazier than normal and for whatever reason has decided to include me in her delusions.
Who cares? Let her be a crazy person, Rachel thought to herself. As she put her drink bottle back in her bag and jumped back on stage to continue rehearsing. Just as Rachel was about to launch into another rendition of My Man, she was abruptly stopped by one of the stagehands calling out to her.
"Rachel!" Rachel turned to the stagehand calling her name. "Sorry for interrupting you during rehearsals but Mr Greene and Mr Campion need to see you in their office straight away." Rachel thanked the stagehand as he rushed off to make sure everyone was where they were supposed to be.
A small tinge of nerves swirled through Rachel as to what possibly could be the reason, Sidney and Rupert need to see her for. She wasn't underperforming as the theatre was sold out night after night and the show as well as its leading lady aka Rachel was still receiving glowing reviews from critics. Come on Rachel you're a grown woman, Rachel silently chastised herself. Just get up there and see what they want. The sooner you get it over with the sooner you can get back to rehearsals and when your done with that, then you can go home to Finn. Home…home…home, what a beautiful and amazing word, Rachel giddily thought to herself with what probably looked like a maniacal smile on her face. It was just she had associated the word home with Finn for so long, but now she was actually going to have a home with Finn…just the two of them. Her biggest dreams that she ever dared to dream when she was younger were becoming a reality. Rachel just wished she could go back in time and tell her younger self to stop worrying because you can have it all, Broadway, New York and Finn. If she knew that back then it would've saved her a hell of a lot of sadness and grief.
Stop your daydreaming Rachel Berry and just go see what your boss and director want. As she was walking off towards the offices, Tamara stopped her. "Have fun at your little meeting, Rachel. I hope it's not about anything bad!" and then like the crazy person she was skipped off with an evil smirk and glint in her eye, leaving Rachel more confused then ever.
Shrugging off the weirdness of Tamara Clayton, Rachel ascended the stairs towards Sidney's office. Sidney's receptionist, Helen noticed Rachel arrive and buzzed through to Sidney and Rupert that Rachel was here; and after confirmation from Sidney, Rachel was allowed through to his office.
Rachel briefly knocked on the door before entering and sitting down in one of the plush leather seats inside the office. "You wanted to see me?" Rachel nervously said to the two men sitting in front of her.
"Yes! Thanks for coming in Rachel, I know your busy with rehearsals so we'll try and make this quick." A sombre Sidney told her.
"Okay?"
"Well I know you're very well aware of the drama that's been swirling about recently with the arrest of Mr Weston." To which Rachel silently nodded in confirmation. "Also I know you are aware that the drama has unfortunately attached itself to our production by your association with Mr Weston no matter how knowing or unknowing of his activities you were." Once again Rachel silently nodded her understanding towards Sidney and Rupert.
"Is there anything you would like to say at this moment, Rachel?" asked Rupert.
"I guess I would just like to take this opportunity to apologise for any direct or indirect bad publicity my short and rocky relationship with Brody has caused for the show. I think I have shown through my actions and performances the amount of respect of have for the both of you and for this particular show. It has been a dream of mine to perform on Broadway and with this show I have fulfilled that dream along with my other dream to perform in such a prestigious and iconic musical such as Funny Girl. So my hope is that we can come to a mutual agreement to put this whole sorry saga behind us and continue to make and perform a great show for our audiences week in and week out."
"That's exactly why we've called you here today Rachel, because we have come to a mutual agreement of our own." Explained Sidney. "An unfortunate side effect of this drama has been the withdrawal of some of our most important and influential sponsors and donors. Recently it has come to our attention that our biggest donor, The Marigold Financial Group is deciding to pull their investment out of our production."
"That can't do that, it'll ruin us!" exclaimed an alarmed Rachel.
"Exactly! After having discussions with Marigold Financial Group we have convinced them to not withdraw their investment from Funny Girl, but only under strict conditions." Sidney explained further.
"Great! What are the conditions? We have to do anything to keep this show afloat!" Rachel enthusiastically answered back.
"I'm glad it seems to be that we're all on the same page with this, Rachel. Because there one and only condition unfortunately was that we replace you as Fanny Brice." Sidney reluctantly told Rachel.
"Wait…what?" a confused Rachel asked because it sounded like they said they were replacing her.
"The only way we could get Marigold Financial Group to not withdraw their funding was if we replaced you as the leading lady of the show." Reiterated Sidney.
"So I'm being fired?" an emotional Rachel asked.
"I wouldn't call it being fired because you've really done nothing wrong. But to save the production we needed to sacrifice one person for the sake of everyone and unfortunately you were the one they wanted." Explained Rupert.
"Who…who is replacing me?" Rachel somehow managed to get out through her tears.
"That would be Tamara Clayton your understudy" Rupert told her.
"But she didn't even know who Barbra Streisand was until we showed her all those YouTube videos!" an incredulous Rachel exclaimed.
"She's the only one who knows the show well enough to slot straight in so the show can continue with as little disruption as possible." Added Rupert.
"So that's it then? Do I at least get one more show?" a highly emotional Rachel asked.
"Sorry Rachel! But it has to be effective immediately." Sidney told her.
Rachel sadly stood from her chair and reluctantly made her way to the office door. As soon as she put her hand on the handle of the door, Rupert spoke, "For what it's worth Rachel it has been an honour being your director and watching your acting and singing evolving and maturing from show to show."
Rachel just silently nodded her head in recognition before stepping through the door and closing it behind her. She headed straight to her dressing room so she could be alone to cry, to vent, to just be alone one last time with the location and job that meant so much to her.
She sat in the chair of her dressing room for what felt like hours soaking in everything about the room. So on those cold and lonely nights she could remember exactly what it was like to be on Broadway. This show, this experience seemed to be the brightest thing in her life, the spark that fuelled her passion. But I guess that's what they say that a star always burns it's brightest before it dies.
As she took one last look at herself in the mirror, Rachel did the only thing she could do at the time as she packed up her belongings…she sang….
Dropped the call, drop my phone
All alone I'm with you
Had enough, sobered up
Nothing left to cling to
Funny how the stars always seem to shine
Shine the brightest right before they fall
Funny how your touch used to burn me up
Now I'm not feeling anything at all
Rachel took one last look around what was once her dressing room, making sure she had everything. She grabbed her box of belongings and headed for the door, but not before pulling the star deed Finn gave her senior year from the corner of her dressing room mirror. Once it was secure along with her other possessions in her box she turned with her eyes full of tears and shut off the light and closed the door.
I never noticed how hot it is under these lights
This neon love is burning too bright
Baby, sometimes it's hard enough just getting by
This neon love is making us blind
Funny how the lows overshine the highs
If we fade at least we know we tried
Should have known from the start of it, baby don't cry
This neon love is destined to die
Salty lips, drunken kiss
Used to think I need this
Had the moon, but wanted you
It'll all be done soon
Rachel stood alone to the side of the stage watching Tamara and Paolo rehearse one of the scenes of Funny Girl. She doesn't know why she's torturing herself by watching them rehearse with Rupert yelling directions at them from the audience seating. Rachel stands there and feels like she's invisible as the numerous stagehands run around her like she's not even there. After deciding she's had enough she takes one last look at the two leads rehearsing before walking out the door.
Funny how the stars always seem to shine
Shine the brightest right before they fall
Funny how your touch used to burn me up
Now I'm not feeling anything at all
I never noticed how hot it is under these lights
This neon love is burning too bright
Baby, sometimes it's hard enough just getting by
This neon love is making us blind
Funny how the lows overshine the highs
If we fade at least we know we tried
Should have known from the start of it, baby don't cry
This neon love is destined to die
As Rachel steps foot outside she see's a couple of workmen, one of which is up a ladder taking down her name from off the neon theatre sign. It only seemed like yesterday she stood in that exact same spot and watched them in giddy fascination as they put her name for the first time up in lights. Now those lights have been turned off and she watches as the workmen dump the letters of her name in the bin before walking off.
What's the use tell the truth
I'll be fine without you
I never noticed how hot it is under these lights
This neon love is burning too bright
Baby, sometimes it's hard enough just getting by
This neon love is making us blind
Funny how the lows overshine the highs
If we fade at least we know we tried
Should have known from the start of it, baby don't cry
This neon love is destined to die
Rachel stands on the damp New York sidewalk box in hand and hails a taxi. As the theatre disappears into the distance an emotional Rachel wipes some of the tears from her eyes as she finishes singing. Watching with a broken heart as her once great dream disappears into the hustle and bustle of New York City.
Two weeks later…
Finn walked into the kitchen at the sound of the kettle boiling, that he somehow heard over the noise of the construction going on outside. He flicked it off and pulled out two mugs and started making a coffee and one tea. Finn let the teabag in his brother's cup sit a bit as he knew that's how Kurt liked his tea, as his brother joined him in the kitchen.
"This is nice, two brothers just hanging out." Kurt said as he reached for his tea that Finn had just made.
"Yeah, I've missed these little chats with used to have where you would bring me a cup of warm milk and we would just chat." Finn replied back as he to picked up his coffee and sat down at the kitchen table.
"I'm sorry Finn, if you felt neglected and alone the last couple of years. That was never my intention; I never ignored you on purpose. It's just I got swept up in the whole New York, Rachel, Vogue drama that I lost sight of my centre. Being obsessed with making something of myself in the "big city" really alienated me from everyone outside of a small little bubble." Apologised Kurt.
"Don't worry about it little bro! It's not like I'm the poster child for openness and sharing. But I guess what I learned through my time not knowing what to do with my life back in Lima, is that I'm me, I'm Finn Hudson. It sounds totally stupid but it's the most important lesson I ever learnt. That I could be the President of the United States, a music teacher, or even a garbage man and through all that I'm Finn Hudson the man, not the occupation. I got so wound up trying to be a man that was right or the perfect man for Rachel that I veered away from what made me…me; and not only did that hurt me but I also almost destroyed my relationship with Rachel in the process. I see so many people everyday thinking their life has no meaning unless they're someone important, and I used to be one of those people. Until one day I sat down a read a book of quotes my mum left on the coffee table one day and a couple really stuck with me. It said…
I always wondered why somebody didn't do something about that. Then I realised I am somebody
...That really resonated with me, because that quote basically summed up my entire high school experience. I watched as my friends, you, the people that I cared about are bullied and I wondered why doesn't someone do something; until I realised the real question was…why didn't I do something?"
"But you did do something Finn you followed your dream despite the ridicule from your compatriots on the football team. You led by your actions, you showed that the ridiculous and antiquated clique or class system they adhered to was obsolete. You were a leader Finn, and I have a quote for you…
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. ~ Simon Sinek
…That's exactly what you were Finn an inspiration to all of us in Glee Club; it was through your actions that a lot of us dared to dream that would could be something greater than what we were." Kurt sincerely replied back.
"Thanks bro!" Finn replied while teasing his brother by messing up his hair.
"Thanks a lot Finn now I'm going to have to do my hair all over again!" snapped Kurt as he checked his appearance in a compact mirror he carries around. "By the way how's our little diva doing?" asked Kurt.
Just as Kurt finished asking about Rachel an extremely loud jackhammer from the construction site next door started up. The boys in the kitchen could hear an extremely annoyed Rachel jump out of bed and throw the bedroom window open and shout. "OI PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!"
"WHATEVER PRINCESS!" one of the construction workers could be heard yelling back.
"SCREW YOU LUMBERJACK!" Rachel shouted before storming into the kitchen alongside Finn and Kurt and noisily making herself a cup of coffee. While Finn turned to a shocked Kurt and mouthed, "See for yourself."
"You know I can see you Finn." Replied Rachel as she continued to make her coffee.
"Rachel you do know that a lumberjack isn't a construction worker?" Kurt asked the still fuming brunette.
Rachel stopped making her coffee and spun around to face Kurt and snapped, "Of course I know what a lumberjack is Kurt! I'd just woken up and it was the first thing that popped into my head…SO SHUT UP!"
"Whoa, easy babe! We're just trying to help you!" Finn said while wrapping his arms around Rachel and kissing her forehead.
Rachel wriggled in Finn's grasp until she could turn enough to push him away, "Yeah, well I'm fine and I don't need either of your help!" snapped Rachel pointing at Finn and Kurt.
Finn gave her a conjoined hurt and worried face as he tried to approach his girlfriend. "Rach, what's wrong, baby?"
Rachel let out a humourless chuckle while putting her hand up to stop Finn from approaching. "What's wrong? Geez! I don't know Finn, how about my dream was shattered in front of my fucking face…how about that!" Rachel screamed while pacing back and forth in the living room. "I'm sick of people looking at me with those pitiful looks on their faces. What the fuck would they know about losing the one thing that was your whole world? I had one talent Finn and that was performing. What the hell am I supposed to do now?"
"It's going to be okay, babe we'll work it out together." Finn replied while trying to once again wrap Rachel in a hug.
"Oh please Finn! What the hell would you know about loss?" screamed Rachel while once again shrugging Finn off.
After hearing what Rachel just said Finn stepped right back and started pacing himself. What would he know about loss? How about almost losing his fucking life to a brain tumour not once but twice! That statement from anyone but especially Rachel felt like a kick in the guts. Finn realised he had to compose himself before he said something he regretted.
"How dare you Rachel? How dare you say that to me! You know exactly what I know about loss, and if you don't let me fill you in. When I was going through the drama with my tumour the first time, it got so bad that I couldn't even hold my drumsticks properly. Then to make it even worse, when on the rare occasion I could somehow hold my drumsticks I couldn't remember how to play. Do you get how fucking frustrated that is? To look at the one thing you know your good at. The one thing you know you can better than most people in the world, and you can see in your brain exactly what to do, but the information just won't translate to your body.
It was like I was trapped inside my own body watching the tumour slowly sucking away everything good in my life. Now that I can look back in hindsight I'm embarrassed I ever had a thought like this. There were days, which I would almost pray that today was the day the tumour finally won and I would die. Because I couldn't stand to see myself waste away, watching myself slowly lose every attribute that made me, Finn. So don't you dare try and tell me I know nothing about loss!" Finn sternly replied back.
Rachel had tears dripping down her cheeks as she approached Finn this time, "Finn…baby!" Rachel whimpered reaching out towards her boyfriend.
Finn just turned and placed his dirty cup in the sink and grabbed his bag before heading towards the door. "Look! It's late and I have to head to work, are you still wanting a lift Kurt?"
Kurt snapped back to reality upon hearing his name after trying to be as invisible as possible during Rachel and Finn's fight. "Umm…yeah! That would be great thanks Finn." Kurt did the same as Finn and placed his cup in the sink before grabbing his stuff and walking over and giving Rachel a hug. "Bye Diva."
"Bye Kurt." Rachel walked over and grabbed Finn before he could walk out the door. "Finn, I'm sorry, I shouldn't…."
"Don't be sorry Rachel just figure out whatever it is you need to figure out. Because this…" Finn motioned with his hands to Rachel and everything around her before continuing. "The snapping and yelling at people just isn't you. You have to realise Rachel that Broadway is your occupation it isn't who you are; you don't need it to define you. Anyway know that I love you and I will support you, but now I really need to go to work." Finn said as he hugged a crying Rachel and placed a loving kiss on her forehead before heading out the door with Kurt, leaving Rachel alone in the apartment with her thoughts.
The hustle and bustle and noise of a large group of people working together used to be a noise Rachel absolutely adored. But that was when the noise was of directors, producers, actors and stagehands on Broadway. Not the yelling and commotion of waitresses, cooks and dishwashers at the Spotlight Diner. She didn't begrudge the job, far from it; actually she was and still is thankful that she could find employment so close to the loft. It's just now that she had a brief taste of the bright lights of Broadway, coming back to be a waitress felt absolutely deflating. Rachel absolutely loathed Brody for putting her in this position; she would spend nights dreaming up vivid ways in which her former boyfriend could get into accidents. Even though Rachel was a self professed anti violence campaigner, dreaming of Brody being eaten by a lion amongst other things helped curb her other anger…towards herself.
Even though she hated Brody for lying to her and possibly putting her as well as Finn's health at risk; none of it would've happened if she hadn't been trying to use Brody to make Finn jealous in the first place. Rachel felt a bit like Icarus, she was warned of becoming complacent and the troubles with her own hubris. Yet she ignored those warnings and flew too close to the sun or in her case the bright lights of Broadway. If she was being honest that's where her troubles really started. It wasn't the token 'hot' boyfriend or the absolute bitch of an understudy. No, it was because she became a victim of her own hubris and her wings melted because she flew to close to the sun.
"Earth to Berry! Anyone Home!" Santana mildly shouted as she waved her hand in front of Rachel's face causing Rachel to snap out of her daydream. "What are you doing here, man hands? It's obvious you'd rather be anywhere but here."
A startled Rachel looked around and noticed she was still leaning on the counter at the Diner in the same position she was in twenty minutes ago; and she was also still surrounded by all the salt and pepper shakers she was supposed to be filling up. As Rachel started mundanely refilling the salt and pepper shakers she looked up and saw Santana standing they're staring at her waiting for her to answer her previous question.
"I'm here Santana, because I had my dream destroyed before my very eyes and I was sacked from Funny. So forgive me for trying to earn a freaking dime so I can support myself!" Rachel sassily answered while letting out a loud humph.
Santana just continued to stare back at Rachel with her arms crossed over her chest. "First of all Berry. Congrats on the finally unlocking your inner bitch, but also screw you! I asked a freaking question as your friend, believe it or not, so don't sass the sass queen, because if you play with fire you're going to get burnt, missy!"
"Sorry! I would say I'm just having a bad day, but I guess this is my life now. One big string of bad days." Replied Rachel while she absentmindedly continued with her work.
"Rachel you know I'm not big on feelings and shit like that, but I have to ask, how are…" Gunther yelling out to the two girls from the back interrupted Santana.
"Glad to see we have you back from the land of make believe, Rachel! If it isn't too much to ask our ex-resident Broadway diva, get your skinny behind over to table nine because their ready to order!"
"Go! I'll finish up here." Santana said as she ushered Rachel from behind the counter as she took over from where Rachel finished in refilling the containers of salt and pepper.
Rachel smoothed out the bottom of her uniform as well as her apron and started making her way over to table nine. As she manoeuvred through the tables she felt like everyone's eyes were on her. Watching her, judging her, she may as well had the word failure written in big bold letters with permanent ink across her forehead. As she finally got to table nine she noticed it contained a beautiful little nuclear family, consisting of a mother and father and a little boy and girl. The sandy-hared mother was busy wiping the face of the little boy who looked just like his father. While said father was heavily engrossed in the menu and subconsciously trying to figure out how much this trip and lunch was going to cost him. Last but not least was the daughter who looked to be about thirteen years old and was staring at Rachel with adoration and stars in her eyes.
"Hello! My name's Rachel and welcome to the Spotlight Diner. Are you guy's ready to order?" Rachel tried to ask with her usual enthusiasm but it came out sounding rather lacklustre.
The father looked up from the menu and said, "Hi…yes. Can we please get a couple of Weenie Todd's minus the murdered barbershop victims!" the father tried to joke which earned annoyed groans from his wife and children and a terse but polite smile from Rachel. "Um…Yes! Anyway the Weenie Todd's and some Fries and Dolls and then some Cat on a Hot Tin Roof Sundae in the Park with George's and some Jello Dolly on the side please!"
Rachel wrote down the order and added, "Very good sir! Would you like any Spring Awakening Rolls or any of our famous Les Miserables French Bread?"
"Okay sure! A couple of Spring Awakening Rolls as well! Thanks." Replied the father.
Just as Rachel turned to head off and deliver the order to the kitchen the daughter spoke up and said. "Excuse me! Are you Rachel Berry from Funny Girl by any chance?"
Rachel let out a silent groan. Great she just had to serve the table that was filled with Broadway fans. Which wasn't that big of a coincidence considering the diner was a Broadway themed diner. Also why would you bother eating at a Broadway themed Diner, especially if you weren't a Broadway fan? Unless you really loved something on the menu, which couldn't be it considering everything was just normal food with Broadway names. But even Rachel had to admit she was partial to sneaking a couple of those delicious Spring Awakening Rolls during her lunch break.
"Umm! Yes…yes I am." Rachel mumbled feeling embarrassed.
"Oh My God! I'm such a huge fan! I've seen Funny Girl four times already and can I just say you are my role model and I want to grow up and be just like you!" squealed the Broadway fanatic daughter.
"She's telling the truth she plays the Funny Girl soundtrack so much and so loud that we get noise complaints from our neighbours. Not to mention the other day she convinced me she could handle adopting a cat and she decided to call it Fanny!" the mother added with a smile, glad that her daughter got to meet one of her idols.
"When I grow up I want to be a Broadway performer just like you!" the young girl enthusiastically told Rachel.
"Well then I hope you got a backup plan! Because less than ten per cent of actors go on to be successful on Broadway; and trust me when I say you don't want to be like me. Otherwise you'll find the love of your life in high school but wont be able to date him because he's dating the head cheerleader who just so happens to be one hell of a crazy bitch! Who is also cheating on her boyfriend with his best friend who gets her pregnant. Then try's to tell her boyfriend the baby's his even though they never had sex. Weirdly enough this once crazy bitch will become one of your best friends.
All through high school you'll play a frustrating game of love tag with the love of your life, where you'll get together, break up, get together, then breakup again. Till finally he asks you to marry him and then waits till the day of your wedding before deciding to put you on a goddamn train for New York. While he joins the army to try and bring honour to the family name after his father was dishonourably discharged for being a drug addict. You get to New York angry at the world and the supposed love of your life and decide to be like everyone else and date some dude that has abs. That turns out to be one of the biggest mistakes of your life as it turns out he's screwing every girl in town and there mother and is in fact a freaking gigolo, who could've given you a freaking STD!
Then it turns out your small town boyfriend isn't so small town and is a genius singer/songwriter and is the co-founder of a multimillion dollar record label. You reconnect and think everything's going fine until you find out your boyfriend has a brain tumour and could die, then your gigolo ex-boyfriend gets his arse arrested and your bitch of an understudy makes it seem like you were his madam. The drama goes on until you find yourself fired from Broadway and your dream and now working in a cliché riddled Broadway themed diner, just to make ends meet. So trust me when I say you don't want to be like me." Rachel finished her rant oblivious to the family's shocked faces.
"Okay…then? I also wouldn't mind being a doctor or surgeon." Continued the little girl.
Rachel let out a loud humourless laugh, "That's even worse! Statistically speaking only six per cent of women are surgeons…."
"That's it I think we're going to find somewhere else to have lunch!" the dad said gathering his family and walking out of the diner. "Thanks for nothing!" he called over his shoulder.
As the shocked family left the diner the little boy could be heard asking his mother. "Mummy why was that strange lady so angry an mean? And what's an STD?" To which the mother just simply replied, "I don't know honey…I seriously don't know! If you want to know what an STD is ask your father!"
Rachel just shrugged nonchalantly and tucked her notebook into the apron on the front of her uniform and strolled back over to where Santana was still refilling the salt and pepper.
"Holy Shit, Rachel! What the hell was that?" asked a completely shocked Santana
"What? I just gave a naïve little girl an inside look into the workings of the real world." Replied Rachel
"No! What you did was unload twenty years worth of baggage onto an innocent little girl whose only crime was to consider you a role model." Seethed Santana.
"Look Santana I really don't need this right now!" Rachel tried to brush Santana off.
"This is when you need me more than ever as well as Finn and all your other friends. Because frankly Rachel being a bitch doesn't look good on you!"
"I'm just trying to figure stuff out after having my dream crushed! Why can't anybody understand that?" snapped Rachel in return.
"We do understand Rachel! What I think you don't understand is that we all know how much Broadway meant to you. But what we don't understand is why you have lost your will to fight, your drive to make a comeback. They don't want you in Funny Girl…well stuff them! Go audition for a different show and show those idiots how wrong they were for firing you." Explained Santana
"I can't explain it Santana, it just feels like everything I hold dear, everything I always dreamed as a little girl has all been crushed or taken from me and I'm left with nothing." Added Rachel.
"Well if you can't explain it maybe you can sing it." Santana said handing Rachel a microphone and pushing her towards the stage.
Rachel stood motionless behind the microphone stand as the music started playing. She seriously didn't know if she could do this, as she hadn't sung since being let go from Funny Girl. But she had a desperate need to express herself, so she chose a song she once did with her long lost mother back in high school….
There was a time when men were kind
When their voices were soft
And their words inviting
There was a time when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time
Then it all went wrong
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung
No wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dream to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed
The music faded out and the whole diner erupted into applause. Usually the sound of applause would fill her heart with joy. Just like she told Finn once in high school, that she was like tinker bell and she needed applause to live. But this time she just politely bowed and walked off stage back to Santana.
"That's how I feel Santana. Everything in my life has been corrupted thanks to that asshole Brody and I feel all alone." Rachel said starting to tear up a bit.
"Your not alone Rachel you have all your friends and more importantly you have Finn. That boy has stuck by you through everything and he doesn't deserve you shutting him out. Do you know why I and a lot of other people hated you in high school?" asked Santana.
"No." Rachel said but motioned for Santana to continue.
"We used to tease you because you weren't afraid to be yourself, you weren't afraid to be bold, to walk outside the norm. If you tell anyone what I'm about to tell you I'll deny it, but I was extremely jealous of you in high school."
"What…why? You were so popular." A stunned Rachel told her friend.
"Rachel I'm going to tell you a secret that popular people don't want anyone to know. Most popular people use popularity as a shield to disguise how lonely they really are. You think a piece of shit feels popular because it's surrounded by flies?" explained Santana, before continuing. "I was jealous because you weren't afraid to go after the person you loved and stand up against the crowd for your dreams and beliefs. It took me a long time to realise that I would rather have my dignity than popularity and you taught me that."
"It's just I know how hard I worked to achieve my dreams and yet they were taken away. Yet other people do nothing yet gain everything." Rachel said.
"Are you talking about Tamara?" asked Santana.
"Yes and No. I would never tell Finn this but when I found out about him starting a label as well as being in an extremely successful band I was kind of jealous. Not bad jealous as in I didn't want him to be successful but more, why was I struggling when I've been working so hard, and here are these guys who got lucky. Sometimes I wonder if getting back together with Finn was a mistake because it distracted me from being successful on Broadway." Rachel told Santana but little did she know that Finn had entered the diner looking for Rachel and heard everything she said.
"That's bullshit…" Santana started but was interrupted by the voice of Finn coming from behind them.
"So why did you decide to go out with me again, because you felt sorry for me! Or because you liked that you were actually popular enough to have two guys chasing after you?" sneered a hurt Finn.
At the sound of Finn's voice both girls whipped around and saw Finn standing behind them with a hurt and shocked look on his face.
Rachel who was now full on crying said, "No, please Finn you have to believe me I love you!"
"Really! Because just a few seconds ago I was the anchor bringing you down and the cause of all your problems! So what is it Rachel! Am I the love of your life or just some guy you shacked up with!" shouted Finn causing a few patrons of the diner to turn around and stare.
Rachel reached out to hug Finn who gently pushed her away, "Finn you're the love of my life I was hurt and angry when I thought you were holding me back. Please you have to believe me!"
"I don't have to believe anything! Look it's obvious your upset and confused that's why it's probably great that I'm leaving…" Finn started before being interrupted by a hysterical Rachel.
"NO! FINN PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME, I LOVE YOU!" screamed an extremely emotional Rachel.
"Who said anything about leaving you?" enquired Finn.
"But you just said your leaving." Replied Rachel.
"I am leaving. That's why I came to the diner to tell you that me and the guys have to leave for a few weeks on a small tour for our album."
"So you're not leaving me?" asked Rachel slightly settling down.
"I'm not going to lie to you Rachel, I'm extremely upset at the moment and I don't know what to believe. But what I do know is that I love you and loving someone is hard work. There's something my grandfather used to say when asked how he and my grandma stayed so in love for over sixty-five years. He would just sit back in his old chair and cast a wry smile to his wife and say; we were born in a time, where if something was broke you fixed it…not throw it away. I want to love you enough that in sixty-five years time we can say to our grandkids that we loved each other enough to fix it. Because what I've learnt from every mistake I've made in life and with you is that, real love has little to do with falling. It's a climb up the rocky face of a mountain, hard work, and most people are too selfish or scared to bother.
I don't know about you Rachel but I don't want to be that scared and selfish little boy anymore. I can't go back to the way it was, that life I lived was pure hell not knowing who I was or what I wanted to do, wondering if you were thinking about me. I can't go back to that and I won't. So while I'm gone use that time to find yourself your true self without Broadway and performing; and when I get back I'm hoping your ready for some hard work because I know I'm more then ready to do some hard work to keep our relationship alive." Answered Finn.
Finn gave Rachel a big hug and tenderly kissed her forehead before turning around and walking out of the diner. Leaving a sobbing Rachel staring at the spot where Finn once stood being comforted by Santana.
One Week Later…
Rachel was sitting on the large couch in the lounge room of Finn and her apartment. Dressed in a pair of yoga pants and one of Finn's old McKinley Titan's football shirts eating vegan ice cream and watching, The Bachelor. The apartment was way to quiet for Rachel's liking even with the TV on and the natural sounds of New York drifting in from outside. It had been one week now since Finn and the guy's had left on a small tour to promote their upcoming album. Also it had been one week since the incident, one of the darkest days in Finchel history. Where Rachel had basically accused Finn of distracting her from her Broadway dreams. Which was a joke because out of anyone Finn was the one who always encouraged her dream, told her to strive bigger, higher and better. He was the one who had the unwavering confidence that she Rachel Berry would be a superstar.
So he she was alone watching trashy reality TV and eating vegan ice cream straight from the carton. All because she said something incredibly stupid while she was hurting over being replaced in Funny Girl. Now Finn had left for the tour angry, Kurt was angry with her as well. While Noah when Rachel finally got him to talk to her, made him promise to look after Finn while on tour and make sure he's okay. To which Noah begrudgingly agreed but not before telling Rachel that they could use her services as an interrogator or torturer for terrorists at Guantanamo Bay; because she just kept on badgering him until he finally gave up.
Rachel's attention was brought back to the TV by the rose ceremony starting on The Bachelor. First Ryan (aka The Bachelor) gave a rose to Cindy a twenty four year old dental receptionist from Boston. "Why Ryan, why? She's just going to be one of those chicks that only wants her five minutes of fame!" yelled Rachel before popping another spoonful of vegan ice cream in her mouth.
Next Ryan gave a rose to Lauren a twenty six year old hooters waitress from Tampa, Florida. "What? I think your thinking with a different head with that one Ryan! You can't seriously think this bimbo is anything other than a gold-digger after your family inheritance!" Rachel screamed at the TV, tucking her blanket more tightly around her before once again digging into her ice cream.
Just then the sound of someone knocking on the door caused Rachel to miss whom the next person the rose was given to. Rachel got up from the couch putting down her vegan ice cream wondering who could be knocking on the door. It couldn't be Finn, Noah or any of the guy's because they're on tour and even if they weren't, Rachel was there favourite person right now. Also it's not like any of the girls like Santana, Mercedes or Quinn would be knocking on her door either, so who could it be?
Deciding to just open the door and find out, Rachel straightened out her clothes and made sure she didn't have anything on her face by checking her reflection in a nearby mirror. Before she opened the door Rachel checked the time on the wall clock near the door and it read, twenty past eight. Rachel answered the door, still wondering why someone would be knocking on her door at this time of night. To say she was shocked at who was at the door would be a huge understatement. For there standing on the other side of the door was none other then her estranged, long lost mother Shelby.
"Shelby? What are you doing here?"
Well our little resident Diva was fired from Funny Girl and pushed everyone away, and blamed Finn for being a distraction. What is the world coming to? Anyway I'm glad that people like this story and I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter. Fear not faithful readers and reviewers because the time is quickly coming when Tamara and her mother get what's coming to them! So stay tuned. The songs used in this chapter were 'Neon Love' by Karmin, 'I Dreamed a Dream' the Les Miserables Version. Like always see you next time. Have a good one and don't do anything I wouldn't do.