CHAPTER 13

I refold the letter and press my lips together I don't want him here, he can't see me like this. I really feel like I have hit rock bottom. I pull out a pen and paper, and write to the one person I don't want seeing me at my worst.

11/03/2016

Jasper,

I apologise for my belated reply.

So you stopped seeing your therapist, that is good news. You are the judge of your happiness and if you feel ready to move on, then I applaud you. But what will you do now? I presume your last career choice is out? You had mentioned you like it though, so maybe giving it a second chance won't be so bad… just stay away from unsavoury types like the Volturi's.

Glad you're doing much better,

Bella

I take my truck and post it directly into the postal box this time, I don't want that letter arriving any later than it has to. I retreat back home.

11/04/2016

Dear Bella,

I know what you are doing, I've done it many times before myself. You are trying to push me away, but I am telling you now that I am not going anywhere. You have made it clear that you want me to keep away, and I will never force my presence on you, I'm just glad you didn't call my bluff. And, if you had have pushed me away earlier, I would have left you alone, but our acquaintance has now grown into a friendship, at least on my part. And I don't abandon my friends through the hard times.

You were there for me through the hard times, and I'd like you to know that I am here for you. If there is ever anything I can do, except leave you alone, then I am at your beck-and-call.

I'd like to also point out that you hadn't replied to any of my questions, and they weren't just empty questions, I genuinely want to know the answers.

Waiting nervously,

Jasper

I rub the weight from my eyes, but it doesn't dissipate. A haze has taken over and the days are just melting together like a dream. A nightmare. I can't even remember when I last seen Rose. I re-read the letter, but I lack patience or drive to grasp anything… what's the point. I'm just wasting his time, he has a life to move on with. I pull out the pen and a clean sheet of paper, my eyes blurring with the salty weight that hasn't left them. Squinting, I write for the final time.

Jasper,

Stop wasting your time!

Isabella

I fold it up and place it in an envelope and trudge through the quiet house and make my way to the letter box, placing it inside and flicking the stupid red thing. I walk back in and retreat to my room, locking the door behind me.

I flop face-down on my bed, my heartbeat loud in my ears. I hate hearing it, my oncoming death scaring me. Why aren't the nerves in my chest still desensitised? Like I need to be reminded of my mortality now of all times. Tears scald at my eyeballs as the thick haze of hopelessness takes me off to another nightmare.