CHAPTER 15
I look at the envelope and add it to the unopened pile that has been accumulating for the past four months. I know I should open them, but I can't… won't. I don't even know why he hasn't given up on writing to me yet. He got what he wanted, someone to write to while he served his time. Now… there's no point, he has friends to communicate with, he doesn't need me. I pull out a pen and paper
Jasper,
Stop wasting your time!
Isabella
My mind can't conjure the number times I have written the same letter, but this will be the last. I'm sure I am just encouraging him by acknowledging him. I just wish he would get the picture; I'm not worth knowing
"Bella," Rose pounds on my bedroom door, but I don't acknowledge her presence. "Emmett is going to see Jasper today, do you have any letters to pass on?"
I sigh into my pillow, but my eyes wont open, they remain shut. I'm torn between keeping the traffic of contact to nothing, and reiterating my wishes for him to cease his incessant letters. "Ugh," I mumble inaudibly.
"Well?" she prompts.
"No, go away."
"Can I come in?"
"No, go away."
"Look Bella, I'm not going to pretend to understand, but sooner or later you are going to have to rejoin the human race."
I don't reply, but the weight does drag me into a dreamless sleep.
The weight in my eyes can only be contributed to the haze that still fogs my mind. I can't stop sleeping, or lounging about in a daze, thinking. And thinking. And thinking. I'm sick of thinking.
More letters add to the pile. I don't reply.
"Bella, want to come to Seattle with me? We can spend the weekend together, just us." Rose manages to corner me in the kitchen.
"No, I don't," I reply.
"What, no excuse?"
"How about, 'I don't want to'."
Truth is, my mood seems to leech into those around me, and I don't want to drag her down like that.
"Have you been going to the doctors?"
"Yes," I reply shortly.
"Shit Bella," she points to my face.
"What?!" I snap, a pain stabbing into my temple. My hand shoots up and tries to squash the pain away, but it offers no relief.
"Your nose is bleeding," her words sound muffled, the world tilts, then nothing.