I don't think I could have been more shocked if he'd waltzed into my apartment and started a strip tease.
"A job where?"
"At Jurassic World." Right, naturally because that was exactly how this whole scenario was supposed to play out.
"Jurassic World? The dinosaur theme park you're building?"
"Are you OK dear? You look somewhat pale?" Oh, I bet I looked pale.
"You, came here personally, to offer me a job at a dinosaur park?" I stumbled back to my couch and picked up the closest beer bottle tipping it back. Empty. Life was so cruel sometimes.
Simon shifted uncomfortably in his chair. This wasn't making sense. Why would Simon Masrani want me to work at his theme park? Why would he come here personally to offer me the job? What the hell did he expect me to do?
"You said I came highly recommended." This statement came complete with air quotes. "Who recommended me?"
"Katashi Hamada."
Well, fuck. "He works at your dinosaur park?"
"Jurassic World." Potato freaking po-tah-to. "And yes, technically, he works at the park."
"Technically? That sounds like a bullshit answer."
"I have to say Jo, talking to you is so refreshing. Most people tip toe around me and tell me only what I want to hear, but you simply speak your mind." He almost sing songed with amusement. I spoke three languages, English, sarcasm and real shit. Most people didn't find that talent so amusing.
"It's a disease. I'm taking medication and getting shots," I deadpanned. "Is that the job offer? To walk around and be your no bullshit person?"
"As amusing as that would be, no. As I said, Mr. Hamada recommended you to me. He works at the park, but was hired by a company I recently acquired, International Genetics."
This was too much; my bullshit meter was pegged to red at this point. "No offense to my 'ol pal Hamada's intellect, but why would InGen need a former Army and SWAT guy?"
Simon's sly smile told me my instincts hadn't completely abandoned me, I was right on the money this time.
"Perceptive, that's good to know. InGen has acquired several military contracts recently and, as such, has quite an impressive security division now."
"You still haven't told me how I fit into this," I said, massaging my temples.
"While InGen is a part of my company they have their own internal leadership. As such, that leadership has sole control over certain aspects of the park given we at Masrani Global are unable to fill similar roles. You Jo, would help eliminate that problem."
The drummer boy in my head had finally decided to take a water break, and my hamster was back on its wheel. With the wheels in my head turning at a slow, but steady rate, his angle was starting to take shape.
"InGen heads up whatever security force you plan to have at the park?" Simon nodded his head in agreement. "So, I would be working for InGen? As security? That's the job?" I wasn't real interested in being a rent-a-cop at a theme park, but my landlord was pretty adamant about paying rent with actual money.
"No, you would work for Masrani Global, me specifically, concerning security protocols and behavior analysis. Think of yourself as a consultant."
"That sounds made up." I'm all for making things up when unable to find real solutions, but a whole job description was pushing it even for me.
Security protocols sounded pretty open ended. Did that mean for the guests, the dinosaurs, InGen? And don't get me started on behavior analysis. I may have had a brief stint as a profiler at the bureau, but a dinosaur whisperer I was not.
"For all intense and purposes it is." He smiled. That didn't' really make me feel better. How far had I really fallen if I needed made up jobs from billionaires?
"You understand I have no experience or expertise with animals of any kind. I can't even keep plants alive."
"Yes, I have read your file. I am well aware of your expertise." My file. He read my file. How? I hadn't even read my file. "Josephine King, 32, orphaned at birth outside a firehouse. Mother and father unknown, presumably dead. Grew up in Houston, Texas as a ward of the state bouncing from foster home to foster home until aging out at the age of 18 years-old. You put yourself through college at the University of Houston where you joined ROTC, and were commissioned a second lieutenant upon graduation. Served five years in the U.S. Army with the military intelligence branch complete with two combat tours in Iraq. You were recruited by the F.B.I. upon leaving the Army to serve as a profiler up until last week when you resigned following a hostage situation in which four individuals were killed."
I felt like I had been sucker punched. He recited all of it from memory as if he was reading the phone book. My life, summarized down to the pathetic lowlights. Hearing it out loud, all my shortcomings, and inadequacies boiled down to essentially Cliff Notes made me want to either cry or hit something. I opted for the later.
I sat up, spine straight enough to make my old Drill Sergeant's proud and narrowed my eyes at Simon with my fists clenched on my knees. I suddenly wished my gun wasn't on the far side of the room.
"You have one minute before I throw you out of my house. Expensive suit and all."
"Please, forgive me, I meant no disrespect," he said as his gaze softened taking in the change in my demeanor. "Your service record is exemplary, a fact which Mr. Hamada confirmed. You two served together during one of your tours, correct?"
"Sure, nothing brings people together like explosions and gunfire, right?" Simon may be an inherently nice guy, but something told me his idea of hardship and mine weren't exactly in line. I didn't want to talk to him about war or anything else when his idea of a bad day was losing $10 million on the stock exchange before breakfast. "Thirty more seconds Simon."
"As the Director of Security Protocols and Behavior Analysis you would report to Masrani Global concerning safety as it pertains to the guests, threats within the park and preservation of their safety. As it concerns the animals you would inspect and consult regarding the development and maintenance of their paddocks. The behavior analysis part is slightly more fluid, shall we say. I want to ensure what happened in the previous parks does not occur in mine. To do that I need to be able to assess the dinosaur's current state of mind."
"I don't speak dinosaur." This guy was officially a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
"Yes, but you have studied human behavior from both a military and civilian perspective. You have hunted some of the vilest criminals man has produced. Boiled down to the basics, are man and beast all that different when cornered? Plus, there may be a need for your analysis of a more human variety from time-to-time."
Were humans and animals all that different when it came down to the bad stuff? I had seen the worst of humanity both in combat and with the F.B.I. I was by no means a paleontologist, but I knew dinosaurs could form familial bonds, they were smart, adaptable, vicious and cunning. According to National Geographic, Velociraptors were Stephen Hawking's brilliant. When confined in an environment contradictory to nature, because let's be honest no matter how much money Simon threw at the park he could never recreate what they had 65 million years ago and let people come for a visit, would they act any different than a desperate human?
Basic human instinct was fight or flight. Survive or die. I once had a case at the F.B.I. with a serial killer who captured, tortured, raped and eventually killed his teenage victims. One victim, chewed off her own thumb to get out of the handcuffs and escape. Yea, I was pretty sure when you were desperate enough, you could achieve pretty much anything.
There was another angle though. All this song and dance about safety of the guests and the dinosaurs was great for the brochure, but why would Simon Masrani himself come to my piece of shit apartment to offer me a job if that was the extent of it. The analysis of the "human variety" was a nice detail to slip in right at the end of the conversation too. He thought I hadn't noticed. He was wrong.
"And of course you want me to keep an eye on InGen?" I formed it as a question, but it was purely rhetorical at this point.
Simon's eyes narrowed as he looked at me smiling. "I see your reputation is not without merit Jo. Yes, I would like you to be my company's answer to InGen's desire to militarize everything. I want to ensure my company has covered its basis, and I have not been in business as long as I have by instilling blind trust."
"So you want me to spy for you?" I wonder if I would get a cool code name or maybe an Avenger type uniform to sneak around in. I would look pretty badass in a catsuit.
"Not spy, oversee. I will be mostly transparent with InGen regarding your position within our company. I want them to know who you are and what you are doing there to an extent. Keeping an eye on InGen's projects would not be your primary duty." Sure, occasional corporate espionage was really no big deal. "Security and safety protocols for our guests and consultations concerning the animal's paddocks as it relates to their behavior and concurrent safety would be your focus."
Mostly transparent was paramount to outright lying in the world I lived in. Apparently it wasn't in the world Simon lived in. This guy was all about subtle nuances, details slipped in when he thought no one was listening. It's probably how he made his fortune.
"Boy, that's a mouthful. You understand I am in no way qualified to be successful at anything you just said. Save maybe spying on InGen and profiling."
Ignoring my previous statement he continued, "So do we have an agreement?"
This seemed like a bad idea. A really bad idea. I knew nothing about animals. I wasn't even sure I liked animals. Animals meant commitment and commitment and I were estranged. I wasn't too big on relationships in general. The longest relationship I had was with my vibrator, and even it had let me down recently.
Security, I had some idea about in a combat scenario. Want to know the best points of entrance or egress, maybe the best point to ambush a supply chain then I'm your girl. Security as it pertained to a theme park, not so much.
Behavioral assessments of animals and the security of their play pens, was an unequivocal no. I knew nothing about that. Sure, I could read anybody. I could tell you Simon was right handed, weighted about 185 pounds, and couldn't fight if his life depended on it. He was kind, caring, and surprising unaffected by his wealth and status. He was carrying no weapons on him, and if I was to attack him his instinct would be to try to get me on the ground to choke me. This was helpful if I wanted to kick Simon's ass, not so helpful for working at Jurassic World. I'm pretty sure a behavioral assessment of a T-Rex would consist of, it's mean as fuck, run.
Behavioral analysis or profiling of his employees was right up my alley. Up until last week it was all I did.
On second thought, maybe this job wouldn't be so bad. "How much does it pay?" No sense in saying no without all the facts first.
"$100,000 annually plus an allowance for your move. We would of course cover your airfare and travel expenses to the island. We have corporate housing options available at the resort, but something tells me you might prefer an offsite location."
Holy. Shit.
Play it cool Jo, play it cool.
"Done. When do you need me there?" I mentally head smacked myself.
Simon jumped up from the chair and extended his hand, "Excellent, excellent. I will have my assistant call to go over all the details, but if we could get you out there in a month I would be ecstatic."
One month. One month and I would be far away from this place and all the memories. I could start over, maybe find somewhere I belonged. Hell, I could get a plant. Anything was better than my current situation. No future, no job and a dark past full of things I chose to ignore.
"I'll see you in one month Simon."
And with that handshake, everything changed.