A/N: Chapter four is here. I'm still thinking a bit about what to write in the next chapter, so it might take a bit longer to place the next chapter. Anyway please enjoy reading this chapter

Summary: Izaya has been having headaches lately and when more symptoms appear he decides to go to the hospital. There he gets to hear that he has brain cancer.

Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!

It was one when Izaya came back to his room, where his doctor already was along with two nurses. "Ah there you are! Just right on time." The doctor said, but Izaya could tell that he had expected him to be too late.

"I make sure to be right on time, I just went to the rooftop." Izaya said and then made his way over to the bed. "What do I need to do?" He decided to ask the doctor.

"You will change in the gown that is for surgery and then I will explain what will happen." The doctor said and gave Izaya the gown. "And take everything of." He said and Izaya ignored it and went into the bathroom to change.

Once changed he made his way over to the bed and lay down in it, with the headside moved a bit upwards. There was no way he was getting out of that bed again while all of them were here.

"Alright, let me explain." The doctor started. "Once it's time to go, you will be brought under anaesthesia by the anaesthetist. Then we will start the surgery. After the surgery we will be waiting for you to wake up. After you have woken up, you will have a catheter, since you won't be moving out of bed today, but if everything is alright, it will be removed tomorrow morning." The doctor said and Izaya slowly nodded taking everything in. "We will start with sitting on the edge of the bed today if everything goes alright and this will be build up in the next days. Same for food and fluids and pain medication. We will be improving everything by day." That was really a lot to take in, so it would take time before he would be able to do everything he wanted once again.

"So that means, I will need to get stronger after the surgery, so that I can do everything I could before?" Izaya asked, to which the doctor nodded.

"That's about it, now let's get you to the operation room." The doctor said and then the two nurses who had been in the room too, started rolling the bed out of the room and towards the operating room.

xxx

The operation had taken five hours and another two before Izaya was waking up.

Izaya felt groggy when he slowly opened his eyes. It took a bit of time before he started adjusting to the light in the room, but luckily it wasn't that bright. A slight throbbing in his head reminded him of the fact that he has been in surgery. It had probably taken a while, since it seemed like it was dark outside.

"I see you're awake." Someone said and Izaya slowly turned his head to the person who was talking. "You might feel a bit slow and sluggish, but don't worry about it." Izaya gave a slight nod at that. It seemed like speaking was still taking up too much energy.

"I'm going to check a few things, alright?" Another slight nod and then the doctor grabbed some light and shined it first in one eye and then in the other. Izaya squinted a bit because of the light, but relaxed when the light was gone. "Normal reaction, which is a good sign." The doctor said and wrote something down. "Can you move your fingers for a bit?"

Izaya did as he was asked and slowly tried to move his fingers, which he succeeded in, albeit a bit slow. "Great, can you move your toes too? The doctor asked while lifting the blanket of Izaya's feet. Just like with his fingers, Izaya was able to move them, but a bit slow. "Alright, are you ready to hear how the surgery went?" A nod was all the doctor got. "The surgery took five hours and it took another two for you to wake up. We didn't succeed in removing the tumor completely, we were afraid of damaging your brain if we removed any more. We did take a biopsy, so that we can find out about what kind of tumor it is. As you know from now on we will be making sure you recover from the surgery before starting with radiation therapy followed by chemotherapy. We will try to get the whole tumor away with those two, but you might need another surgery." Izaya looked at the doctor when he said this. They hadn't been able to remove the tumor completely? That meant that he was still having a tumor in his brain.

"Wha…" But his voice failed him, since his throat felt dry. The doctor got a glass of water and helped Izaya sit up a bit, but this made him nauseous. The doctor saw this and laid him down again.

"You will be getting fluids through an iv drip for now, since it seems that drinking will not work for now. I will leave you alone for today, but tomorrow morning is when we will start with moving around a bit. First we will try sitting on the edge of the bed and then we will try walking a bit later at the day. That is of course if you're able to, but that's something for tomorrow, please rest for now." Izaya felt too tired to object, he honestly wanted to ask the doctor questions, but he just couldn't muster the strength or energy. It didn't take long before Izaya had fallen back asleep.

xxx

The next time Izaya woke up it was a lot brighter in his room and it took a bit of time to let his eyes adjust to the brightness, but when they did, he could make out the form of a nurse. Trying to swallow, to speak to the nurse he noticed how dry his throat was.

"Wa…" It was a sound so soft that he hadn't expected the nurse to hear him, but she turned around anyway.

"Are you thirsty?" She asked with a smile and then filled a glass with water before putting the bed into a more sitting position and then holding the glass before Izaya's lips. The raven drank the water gratefully, but carefully, since he didn't want to choke. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah." Izaya answered once he found his voice again after drinking the liquid.

"We already removed the catheter, but that means that we need to try and move a bit alright? We will start slowly, but I hope that you will be able to go to the toilet with help at the end of the day." The woman explained, to which Izaya frowned a bit.

"Are you sure that isn't too much?" Izaya didn't really know what he would be capable of right now, so he hoped that the nurse could tell him about it.

"We will try, so let's get you to sit on the edge first, alright? You need to tell me if you feel nauseous like last night." The woman said and then came over to him. "Alright, let's sit you up a bit higher." The woman said and Izaya noticed the head of the bed getting higher.

Slowly a nauseous feeling started to settle in. "I'm starting to feel nauseous." Izaya warned the nurse, to which she nodded.

"That's fine, please take this medicine and then we will try again. It's a medicine to help with the nausea." She explained and Izaya nodded before taking the medicine. He waited for a bit and nodded once the nausea had settled a bit. "Alright, now we're going to try and turn, so that your legs will be over the edge, alright?"

"Seems fine with me." Izaya said and with the help from the nurse he turned and found himself sitting on the edge not much later. He noticed that he felt weak while doing this and he knew he wouldn't be able to keep sitting here for very long, but he would at least try it.

"Alright let's sit here for a bit, but when you get tired you need to tell me, I don't want you passing out." The nurse told him and Izaya smirked at that for a bit.

"But you would catch me right? If I passed out I mean." Izaya taunted her for a bit.

"That's my job." She answered flatly and Izaya's smirk disappeared. The nurse couldn't even react like he wanted.

After ten minutes of sitting Izaya felt his body become too tired to keep him up for much longer. He really wanted to keep this going, but he knew that that wouldn't go right. "I'm tired." He ended up saying and the nurse helped him get in bed again.

"Alright, I will be back later. If you need anything, you just need to push the call button." The nurse said before leaving the room.

Izaya sighed and closed his eyes for a bit, but then remembered that he still had to text the dullahan.

Grabbing his phone he started typing a text.

[The surgery is done and I'm awake and back in my room. They weren't able to remove the tumor completely]

It didn't take long before there was a reply.

[It's great that you're back from surgery, but they weren't able to remove the tumor completely?] Celty answered.

[No, they said they were afraid of damaging my brain, so they will try it with the radio therapy and chemotherapy. The doctor even said I might need a second surgery.]

[I'm sorry to hear that, but you're doing alright right now?]

[Yeah, just feeling a bit weak and tired, but fine besides that.]

[That's great, but I need to go now, Shinra is calling for me.]

[That's fine, just go to him, I don't want him to get suspicious.] Izaya sighed, he didn't want Shinra to know, not ever if possible, but he knew it was only a matter of time before the doctor would find out probably.

"You were quite focussed while texting." Izaya jumped at the voice beside him and saw Haru sitting there.

"Don't scare me like that." Izaya hissed and glared at the boy. "You should at least have told me you were here."

"You were just too focussed to have noticed." The boy smiled. "We were you texting with by the way?"

"Just a courier who works for me." Izaya said. "She's also the one who takes me to and from the hospital."

"Ah, I see." Haru said and then smiled. "Looks like you made it out of surgery safely."

"They weren't able to remove the complete tumor." Izaya mumbled and closed his eyes for a bit.

"Oh, that's too bad, but they will try and get rid of the rest right?" Izaya could tell that the boy tried to cheer him up, but he was honestly feeling a bit helpless.

"They will try, but that doesn't mean they will succeed, I might even need another surgery." Izaya felt discouraged by the thought of another surgery. He had hoped that this one surgery would be enough.

"It will be fine." The boy said, to which he received a glare from Izaya.

"How can you know that? I might die, you know? And what then? What will be left of me? I tell myself every single time that I don't get scared, I make other people believe that, but honestly I'm scared. I'm scared of dying. I'm more scared of dying all alone. No one cares about me and I don't want their pity once they find out, because that's all I will get. This is also the reason I won't tell anyone and I wouldn't have told the courier if I didn't need anyone to take me to and from the hospital." Izaya rattled on, but then realized what he was doing. "I'm just tired." He said and saw the boy nod before he stood up.

"I don't mind, I know how you feel. I will leave for today, but I will be back tomorrow." Haru said and turned around. "You need support Izaya-san, even if you don't think so, you need someone whom you can tell what you're feeling like you did just now. I might be a good person for that, but you might want to think about someone else." The boy said before leaving the room.

Another person than him he says? He wasn't going to use Celty like that, since she wouldn't be able to handle him like that. Who would be able to handle him when he was like that? Was the last thing he wondered before he fell asleep.