Shades of Grey
Chapter Five: Comfort Zones
"We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are."
- Max Depree
Hermione gazed at the pale-haired Wizard next to her, eyes widened and mouth hanging ajar. The words that had just drifted out of Ollivander's mouth shocked her, and she found herself wondering why Harry hadn't made her privy to the knowledge that Draco had once been the possessor of the Elder Wand. Furthermore, why hadn't Draco?
"You knew, didn't you?" She accused in a low hiss, expecting the worst of her partner. Much to her dismay, she noted that he seemed just as baffled as she—perhaps even more so. He managed to shake his head and she huffed, her eyes turning back to where Ollivander had stood. She blinked twice when her eyes rested on nothing but empty air, scanning the shop closely before realizing that the old man had seemingly vanished.
Growing frantic, Hermione grabbed Draco by the collar of his shirt and dragged him outside of the shop, leading them to a deserted alley. He shoved her aside and grunted, smoothing his shirt and scowling at her for wrinkling the material in the first place.
"What the fuck is your issue?" He spat, his chest heaving slightly. Hermione resisted the impulse to roll her eyes and snap at him for asking such an idiotic question but refrained, her hands twitching at her side. She lifted a hand and brushed back a strand of curly hair, biting on her bottom lip slightly.
"How did you come to be in possession of the Elder Wand, Draco?"
"I told you: I didn't even know I owned it," He growled, clearly irritated that she was pressing the matter. But it was important! If they didn't figure out the specifics of the wand, they might not ever find it, and then their mission would result in failure! And failure wasn't an option for Hermione Granger; not under any circumstances.
"I don't recall you ever saying those exact words, no," Hermione sniffed, jutting her chin forward in defiance. If he was going to be difficult about this, then so was she—two could easily play at that game.
"Well I don't know, alright?" He snapped in response, rolling his eyes heavily in her direction. She mustered the strength to narrow her eyes into vicious daggers at him, her lips pressed together in a thin line. He was testing her and they both knew it.
"How could someone be in possession of the most powerful wand in existence and not even know it, Draco?"
"I already told you, Granger—I don't fucking know," Draco spat, clearly irritated with her persistent questioning about the subject.
Hermione rolled her tongue around on the inside of her mouth, exhaling slowly. Her hands twitched in anger at her sides and she balled them into fists, resisting the impulse to knock him upside the face, just like she had third year.
"Just—stop being so impossible!" She snapped, her brows furrowing together. So far they knew that the Wand had belonged to Draco at some point, and while that didn't leave them with much information, Hermione found the gears in her mind frantically at work to plan the next step. Her eyes widened and her lips parted slightly as an idea struck her, and she fumbled around in her charmed bag before she pulled out a crinkled map. She smoothed the parchment out and opened it up, biting her lip and allowing her eyes to scan over the page. Her index finger trailed across the dotted lines that were designed to represent streets and avenues, and when she located a small building on the corner of a street a few blocks away, she let out an audible gasp.
"That's it!" She exclaimed, shoving the map in Draco's face and smiling ecstatically. The bushy-haired former Gryffindor pulled her wand out of her purse and closed her eyes, focusing on the advanced charms she'd learned in her later years at Hogwarts—from the dozens of different tomes for advanced Wizardry she'd checked out from the library, of course!
"What is it?" Draco demanded, though Hermione was so worked up she barely heard him. She busied herself with charming her hair a light blonde, and then changed her eyes to a striking green. She then made a few other alterations to her appearance, such as making her lips a tad more plump and increasing the size of her nose. By the time she was finished, little remained of Hermione Granger. She fluffed her newly blonde, straight locks before stuffing her wand in her pocket. Years of training and education scolded Hermione for doing something so foolish—everyone knew that tucking your wand in your pocket was dangerous; one could easily harm themselves that way! However, she forgave herself under the premise that there wasn't much else she could do in such a situation.
"I don't know how I didn't think of it before, really," Hermione exclaimed, smiling eagerly and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Think of what, Granger?" Draco snapped suddenly, clearly infuriated that she was lost in her own little world. Hermione blinked twice, having temporarily forgotten he was there, and cleared her throat, snatching the map she'd pulled out back.
"Well, wandmakers can't be the only ones that know the history and composition of wands and wandlore, now can they?" Hermione began, arching one fair brow. Draco stared at her in confusion for a moment, his silver eyes narrowed slightly as he struggled to comprehend the meaning behind her words.
"I…suppose not," He stated finally, the words dripping from his tongue long and slow.
"Right, well—there's a bookstore a few blocks down, and I'm sure they'll have some more information on the Elder Wand—or wands in general, at the very least!—inside," Hermione explained, her arms flailing around slightly.
"A bookstore?" Draco frowned.
"It's sort of…well, I suspect it's like Flourish and Blott's. Though, judging by this map—" She paused to study the map in front of her, frowning slightly before clearing her throat. "—it's a bit smaller and lesser known. It's glamoured, though, soMuggles won't be able to see it as it is. Like St. Mungo's, I suspect! In fact, when I researched this location, I read somewhere that in the early 1800's, this book shop was originally founded with the premise of—"
"Granger, this isn't a fucking History of Magic lesson, can you shut up and move on with the plan?" Draco snapped, rolling his eyes dramatically. Hermione managed to glare at him, gritting her teeth in silence before she dared to respond, for fear a hex would tumble past her lips and into his range.
"And what's with the change in appearance? Now is hardly the time for the makeover you should've gotten done ages ago; you look more like a girl now than I think you ever have, Granger," Draco commented dryly, arching one brow and glancing her up and down once. Hermione felt herself flush with anger and shame, his words igniting a fire within her. Before she was able to stop herself, the young Witch stepped forward and raised her palm, slapping Draco across the face. The harsh sound echoed around the alleyway, and Hermione felt her palm sting with the impact of the blow.
"Don't you ever talk to me like that again," She hissed, her voice shaking as she fought back the urge to scream and cry. "You don't get to make me feel inferior for the way I look or who I am anymore, Malfoy! You're not allowed to hold that power over me anymore!"
If he was angered by her little outburst, he certainly didn't show it. In fact, far little aside from astonishment dawned on Draco's face—his eyes widened and his brows furrowed together, as though he was genuinely shocked by her explosion. And perhaps he was, but Hermione had little time to focus on that at present. She brought her hand down to her side, her cheeks blazing a deep red as she cleared her throat, refusing to make eye contact with him.
"I don't want us to be spotted buying such books in public, so it would be wise to charm yourself," She sniffed, turning around. The Witch folded her arms across her chest and pressed her lips together in a thin line, staring intently at the brick wall that stood opposite from her. She heard Malfoy fumble around with what she supposed was his wand in silence, and after a few moments of patient waiting she turned around to see the finished product. He was stowing his wand away, and Hermione noted that he had charmed his hair a light brown and changed his eyes to a dark brown; she hardly recognized him, and decided that his charm job had been quite suitable.
"Right then, let's go," She said coldly, lifting the map up and finding their current location. She jabbed at the paper with an index finger and began to walk, brows knit together and lips parted slightly. She mumbled street names to herself, with nothing but the hum of her own voice and the scuffling of Draco's shoes as he walked behind her to distract her from reaching their destination. She veered left and padded past a few intimidating looking buildings, making a sharp right here and a zigzag there. She finally approached an establishment relatively close in size to the building Ollivander now called his wand shop, halting abruptly. She tore her eyes from the map, folding the paper up and stuffing it back in her purse. Though quite small, the bookshop seemed more modern and well-kept than Ollivander's new wand shop did, and Hermione's chest beamed with confidence and hope as she strode forward, throwing her shoulders back.
The sign above the door read, "Lady Lucas' Books for Wizards and Witches", and Hermione pushed open the door, stepping inside the quaint shop and hearing Draco clang the door shut behind them. The bookstore was cozy, and Hermione smiled faintly as she looked around, greedily inhaling the scent of fresh parchment and aged leather. There was something intriguing and exciting about entering a bookstore, and Hermione began searching up and down the aisle nearest to her right, hoping she could find at least one book dedicated to wandlore.
It wasn't until she'd been browsing for a good five minutes that she realized Draco was no longer standing by her.
"Hey, over here," He called out, and Hermione ushered towards him. She watched as he pointed to a sign that hung above one aisle that read, "The History and Practice of Wandmaking". He arched one brow and Hermione eagerly began perusing the dozens of shelves packed with new and ancient-looking tombs, her index finger running along the spines of the books. Draco cleared his throat and bent down, pulling a thick book bound in aged brown leather out from one of the lower shelves and turning it around for her to read the gold lettering on the cover.
"A Modern History of Powerful Wands and Their Owners," She read to herself, reaching a hand out and taking the book from Draco. She flipped open the Table of Contents and skimmed the words, smiling brightly when she noted there was a particular section dedicated to the Elder Wand and its origin.
"Perfect," she breathed, biting her lip and holding the book under her arm. Her eyes continued to scan the aisles, but she couldn't seem to find anything useful. There were texts on the history of wandmakers, the different kinds of cores, short stories for children—just as she was about to give up, Hermione paused, squinting as she spotted a thin and red bound book hiding at the top of one of the shelves. She stood on the tips of her toes and jumped for it, coming down and reading the cover: The Tale of the Three Brothers—A Thorough Investigation of the Children's Tale.
Clearly not that thorough, Hermione thought to herself grimly, noting the small size of the book. Either way, she decided it was appropriate, and motioned for Draco to follow her to the register. She placed both books down with a cheery smile on her face, swaying slightly and ringing the bell for assistance. A plump woman with frizzy brown hair and a genuine smile waddled up to the front of the store, her half-mooned spectacles sliding down her nose in a fashion that reminded Hermione of Dumbledore or McGonagall.
"Did you find everything alright, dears?" The woman asked airily, smiling as she took the books from the counter and turned them over. Hermione nodded and responded that yes, they had, placing her purse on the counter and opening it, finding her small change clutch and pulling it out. She watched with interest as the woman scanned their books with her wand, adding up the total for them.
"No one ever seems to drift down that aisle anymore, I was beginning to wonder if it was ever going to get any attention," The woman commented, and Hermione noticed that the name tag on her blazer read, "Martha".
"Really?" Hermione asked, leaning forward over the counter slightly. Martha seemed busy looking over a parchment of pricings, adjusting her glasses and not paying much attention to either one of them.
"Oh, yes—we only made it an addition to the store a few months ago, after an organization came in demanding to know where we kept our books on wand elements and cores," The woman replied, humming to herself and pulling out what appeared to be a register full of change.
"An organization, you say?" Hermione asked, her ears perking up suddenly. She felt Draco tense slightly beside her, and she could tell that he'd picked up on the peculiarity of the situation just as she had.
"Yes—a Guild of sorts, I think. I figured they were all in the business of wandlore, but found it peculiar that they didn't seem to know much about the cores. Either way, there hasn't been much attention since…" The woman sighed, her gaze drifting off to the section on wands that Hermione and Draco had been scanning only moments before. Something seemed…off about what the woman was saying. If the people who had come in looking for books on wands had, in fact, been apprentices or descendants of a line of wandmakers, then there would be no doubt that they should've previously obtained such basic information.
So if they weren't a Guild of Wandmakers or something of the sort, then who were they? Could it be that Bellatrix and some of her followers had been here months before? Had they stalked the very same shelves and sought the very same information she and Draco were only just now after? The thought was unsettling, and before Hermione could delve deeper, she was brought back to reality by the sound of Draco clearing his throat.
"Eight Sickles, please," The woman said, and the inflection in her tone revealed that she had already repeated herself once. Hermione blushed and murmured and apology, fishing out the appropriate amount of money and stuffing it in the woman's hands. Hermione took the books and placed them in her bag, grabbing her purse off the counter and bidding her farewell to the friendly woman behind the counter.
It wasn't until they'd walked down a few blocks in silence and had changed back into their normal selves, with Hermione's head bent as she struggled to read between the lines of what the employee at the bookshop had unwittingly revealed to them, that she felt a hand on her shoulder. She jumped, startled, and snatched her wand from her pocket, whirling around and pressing it into the throat of—of—
Draco.
"Oh, it's you," She said coolly, dropping her wand and glaring at him. She was still slightly put out over what he'd said to her earlier, as childish and immature as she knew it was. However, the fact of the matter was that Hermione had spent so long struggling to put her mind at ease over such miniscule details, such as the fact that she had bushy hair and buck teeth. People like Draco made it their goal to make her appear inferior, and once she'd gained the appropriate amount of self-confidence on the matter, Hermione herself had realized how ridiculous it was to even concern herself with such things. No, her teeth hadn't been perfectly straight or shaped when she was an adolescent, and no, her hair wasn't easy to manage, but since when had physical attributes meant so much to her? She was a Gryffindor—the brightest of her year, and she'd be damned if she was going to let something as ridiculous as hair or teeth dictate the way she felt about herself.
"Yes, it's me," Draco responded, snapping Hermione from her thoughts. She cleared her throat and jerked her shoulder away from his touch, as though she feared the mere contact would scorch her skin.
"Well, what do you want?"
"In case you haven't noticed, Granger, we've spent half the day wandering around this bloody town, and I just—"
"Look, Malfoy," Hermione cut him off, taking a step back to give herself some space. "You didn't have to agree to go on this mission—you could've easily told Harry no, and I'm sure he would have found a more suitable replacement."
Draco's face grew cold instantly, and his gaze was so fierce and piercing that Hermione felt a chill pass through her body.
"I was just going to suggest wet set up camp, soon—before it gets too dark."
Hermione felt herself pale considerably with shame and clutched her purse closer to her person, clearing her throat and swaying on her feet.
"Right then—let's go," She managed, holding her arm out and motioning for him to stand next to her. After glaring at her for a series of moments he stepped forward, yanking her close and allowing her to lead the way.
Hermione closed her eyes and imagined the Forest of Dean the way it had been the last time she'd visited it—while she, Harry, and Ron were on the run. The memories flooded her mind and she swallowed heavily, Disapparating them to the appropriate spot. She felt the familiar tug of Apparation behind her navel, and she and Malfoy were soon standing in the middle of the forest she had grown to know quite well not very long ago. She staggered slightly as they landed, looking around and recognizing the forest for its vegetation almost instantly.
"Where the bloody hell are we, Granger?" Draco snapped, and his inquiry contrasted greatly against the softer, gentler way that Harry had posed a very similar question not so very long ago.
"The Forest of Dean—Harry, Ron, and I stayed here for a bit during the months that led up to the Battle," Hermione explained, setting her things down quickly. Draco watched her curiously as she fished her wand out of her pocket and walked several feet ahead. She lifted her hands, one of which grasped her wand firmly, and allowed the crease between her brows to settle as she struggled to place the appropriate enchantments on their camping grounds.
"Protego Totalum, Salvio Hexia…" Hermione began, the protective enchantments she'd used so often during her times camping with the boys rising to her mind almost instantly. She worked her way around the campsite slowly, completely oblivious to anything and everything but the spells she was uttering. It wasn't until she'd finished her spellwork and turned around did she notice that Malfoy had rifled through her bag and found the tent, and was working on magically building it. She was struck between the curiosity to know why he was willingly aiding her in setting up camp and swatting him for going through her bag, finally deciding she'd already hit him enough for one day.
"What are you doing?" She demanded, striding forward and tucking her wand away. She crossed her arms under her breasts and glared at him, watching as he fixed the tent for them. He slowly turned to look at her, his face devoid of any real emotion.
"Clearly I was setting the tent up," He bit back in retort, his upper lip curling into a half-hearted scowl.
"Good."
"Great."
They stared at one another in silence for several moments, Hermione scuffing her shoe against the ground, unsure how to broach the subject of dinner. They needed nutrition to get them through the night, and she clutched at the fabric of her shirt when her stomach growled. They hadn't eaten since breakfast, and nightfall was soon upon them.
"You're hungry," Draco noted, jerking his chin forward slightly. Hermione said nothing in response, merely brushed past him and scooped up her bag.
"I have some cereal bars for us for tonight," She said coolly, sitting down on a stump of wood and rifling through her bag.
"Lovely," Draco replied, and she could hear the sarcasm dripping from his words. Hermione clenched her jaw shut, hissing slightly in anger at how unbearable he could be. She heard what appeared to be grunts and the scraping of bark and lifted her head, watching as Malfoy tossed bits of firewood from a nearby fallen tree on top of one another. She watched him in mild fascination, one hand shoved deep within the confines of her bag. Her lips were parted and her tongue stuck out slightly as Malfoy stood erect, pulling his wand out of his pocket and pointing it towards the fire, igniting the bundle of wood immediately. He'd laid out two uneven logs for them to sit on, and Hermione sheepishly made her way over to him.
"What's the meaning of all of this?" She sniffed, sitting down delicately. Draco sighed in exasperation and sat on the bit of wood across from her, using a long twig to poke the roaring orange flames that blazed before them.
"I'm not completely useless, Granger."
"Yes, well…that's yet to be determined."
She decided it was a trick of the light flickering off his face; a game her mind was playing with her due to the lack of decent sleep she'd received recently, but Hermione could've sworn in that instant she saw a slight smile lift on the corner of his lips. She blinked and looked away, watching as the sun disappeared from the sky, leaving the two partners enveloped in a chilly state of twilight. Hermione shivered slightly and pulled herself closer to the fire, finally retrieving the two cereal bars and tossing one to Malfoy. He caught it instantly, inspecting its wrapping closely.
"It's not poisoned, you know," She defended, unwrapping her own and pausing. She found watching him to be quite fascinating; a game of sorts, almost, and the thought that he more than likely hadn't spent much time outside his pampered and manicured world of luxury brought a smile to her lips.
"What's so funny, Granger?" He demanded, ripping the bar open and bringing it to his lips.
"Nothing, nothing," She said quickly, lifting the bar to her lips. She bit off a piece and chewed in silence, exhaling slowly. It tasted delicious on her empty stomach and Hermione chewed thoughtfully, her hazel eyes absorbing the dancing flames before her. She became transfixed by the way the fire seemed to dance as it licked up the logs, and she rested her elbows on her knees, taking another nibble of her bar.
"Why did you get so offended earlier?" Draco asked suddenly, and Hermione tore her eyes away from the fire to catch him staring at her.
"I—what?"
"When I mentioned something about the way you look—you never used to let that bother you."
Hermione paused, lowering the bar from her lips. She nibbled on her lower lip for a moment, eyes widening as she observed how confused he seemed to be. No doubt it was far outside of their comfort zone for him—she herself was shocked by the way in which she'd reacted.
"I'm only human, Malfoy," She said quietly, averting her gaze. "I take offense to things, as well."
"You sound like Weasley; I thought you were better than that," He said, and Hermione found herself confused once more. Confused, and outraged that he dared to speak ill of Ronald in front of her. Her brows furrowed together and her lips pulled into a pout, her eyes locking onto his.
"And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?"
Draco merely shrugged, and when he gave her no answer she pressed the matter further.
"I just mean that Weasley's well-known for being the one to get so sensitive and easily offended about everything in the fucking book in the little ridiculous Trio of yours," Draco commented, taking a bite out of his cereal bar and flitting his hand around. He chewed in silence, swallowing quickly before continuing. "I just never pegged you as the type."
"Oh really, Malfoy?" She snapped, anger overwhelming her. "Well, I'll have you know that you can't exactly peg me as any type—you hardly even know me!"
Draco snorted at this, and the rest of Hermione's dinner dropped from her hands, hitting the ground with a slight thud.
"It's not funny, Malfoy, and don't you dare sit over there and snort at me!"
"Alright, alright," Draco said suddenly, and his sudden withdrawal from teasing her caused Hermione to blink, startled.
"Well…good, then."
Draco shrugged once more and finished off his cereal bar, his eyes drifting back to hers after a few minutes.
"You're not ugly, you know," He blurted out suddenly, and Hermione found herself taken aback. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and swallowed heavily, at a loss for words. Had Draco Malfoy just indirectly complimented her? Or…something, of the sort.
"Oh?" She managed, her chest heaving slightly.
"Not ridiculously hideous, no," He said, and Hermione saw his lips tug into a slight smirk. She was baffled at how forward and un-Malfoyish he was being about the entire situation, but before she had the chance to question him further, he moved to stand.
"I suppose we should get some sleep; if we're ever going to find the bloody Hallows, we'll need to be well-rested," He proclaimed, stretching and scratching his abdomen. Hermione nodded stiffly, her head swimming with a million different thoughts and questions. She gathered her bearings but remained seated, watching as Malfoy sauntered off towards the tent.
"Malfoy, wait!" Hermione called out, dropping her possessions and moving to stand. He turned around slowly, arching one brow, and Hermione wrung her hands together nervously.
"Why did you do that?"
"Do what?" He inquired, cocking his head to the side. She wanted to hit him again for acting so purposefully naïve about the entire affair.
"You gave me that—sort of compliment…or whatever."
"I wasn't complimenting you, Granger," He drawled out, and even from their distance she noticed his silver eyes scanning her over once. "Merely stating the truth."
"Oh, well…thank you, I suppose," She managed, cursing herself for finding it necessary to use manners in such an instance. He didn't deserve her manners or kindness—not when he'd spent so long insulting her.
"Goodnight, Granger, don't let the bush hair bite." He replied, and she saw that charming smirk broaden across his face before he slipped inside the tent. With shaky legs and a clouded mind, Hermione sat back down on the log, biting her lip and becoming lost in thought once more.
"Ridiculous, spoiled ferret," She muttered, though as his words from the evening rung hollow in her ears, Hermione found it difficult to mumble the intended insult with quite as much malice as normal.
a/N: Hey, all! I apologize for taking so long to update—I've been busy with schoolwork, senior prom, preparing for AP exams and graduation. Things of the like, really! I had actually written most of this chapter one day at school, but then the school computer crashed and deleted all of it, and I really lost my motivation to try again for a while. But nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed the chapter so far, and I hope you're all doing well! Let me know what you think—review, private message me, etc.