A/N: Here is chapter 12. Enjoy reading it and please review.
Summary: Izaya has been having headaches lately and when more symptoms appear he decides to go to the hospital. There he gets to hear that he has brain cancer.
Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!
Izaya opened his eyes when he had woken up. He could no longer feel Shizuo's hand in his own and when he looked to the side he saw that the blonde wasn't there. Where had he gone to? He said he would stay here right?
Izaya started panicking. Why was Shizuo not here? Izaya tried to feel if the chair was still warm, but he miscalculated, which made him lose his balance and before he even knew it he tumbled out of the bed and onto the ground.
A pained groan escaped his lips when he pushed himself up on his arms, his legs sprawled behind him, since they had fallen out last. On instinct he tried to move his legs under him, just to be reminded that he couldn't move them when they didn't listen.
The chair Shizuo had sat in wasn't that far away, but he knew it would be hard to get himself upright with just his arms and somehow it seemed like he hadn't made enough noise for someone to come.
Where was the alarm button again? Looking up towards his bed he saw it hanging there, definitely out of his reach. Seems like he needed to get up by himself. The only question was how.
Suddenly the door opened and he looked up to see Haru walking in. "Izaya-san?" It seemed like the boy hadn't seen him yet.
"On the ground." Izaya said trying to keep the panic he was feeling out of his voice. Izaya could see Haru walking in his direction and then looking down.
"What happened?" The boy asked and Izaya looked down to the ground.
"I fell out of the bed. Can you ask for help." He knew he couldn't ask the boy to help him, since it might be bad for his heart if he exerted too much.
"Right, I will be right back." The boy said and then disappeared leaving Izaya once more alone on the ground. He hated this. Why wouldn't his legs listen to him? If they could just move he would be able to get to the chair at least, but now he couldn't even do that.
Izaya could hear hurried footsteps approaching him and he looked up to see Shizuo, followed by Haru and a nurse.
"Shizu-chan, I'm sorry." Izaya said.
"Don't be, it's my fault for leaving for a bit." The blonde said and then picked up the raven before placing him back on the bed. Izaya saw the blonde trying to get away again, but he didn't want him to leave again, so he grabbed his shirt.
"Don't leave." Izaya felt like crying again. The blonde had once again seen him in a weak state.
"I won't, but let the nurse check you for a bit." Shizuo said and took Izaya's hand of his shirt before letting the nurse get to the raven.
"Orihara-san, I need to see if you have injured yourself with the fall. Does it hurt anywhere?" The woman asked and was already checking his hands for wounds, but luckily there weren't any. Seemed like there weren't any wounds at all for so far as he could feel, so he shook his head to her question.
That was until the nurse came to his legs and Izaya could already see the wounds on his knees. He wasn't even able to feel them and that just reminded him once more that he couldn't move them or feel them for that matter.
The nurse looked and then went to get stuff to clean the wounds and wrap them in bandages. All Izaya could do was stare at how she was working as if in a trance and he didn't even notice he was crying till he felt Shizuo take his hand once more, squeezing softly.
"Alright, I'm done. Do you need anything else?" The nurse asked, but Izaya could only shake his head and the nurse left with that.
"Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked and looked up to the blonde once his tears had stopped.
"Hm?" The blonde asked and Izaya looked down for a moment, ashamed that he was going to ask this.
"I need to use the toilet." He said in a small voice, since Haru was still there in the room too.
"Ah." The blonde said and then nodded slowly. "It's fine if I carry you right?" A nod was all the blonde needed, before he lifted the raven once again and took him into the bathroom before sitting him on the toilet. "Are you fine on your own?"
"Can you help me get my boxers down?" Izaya's face was red now and he didn't dare look at Shizuo. The blonde didn't say anything but went over and lifted the raven up to a standing position and supported him while he slid off the boxers, before putting the raven back.
"When you're finished call for me alright?" A nod was all he received before he left the bathroom.
"How is he?" Shizuo almost jumped at the voice and looked at the kid who had gotten him to help Izaya.
"Haru-kun was it? He has been having a hard time since yesterday, so I don't really know how he is doing right now."
"What happened to his legs?" The boy just had to ask that question.
"He hasn't been able to use them since yesterday and they say he needs a second surgery to remove the tumor completely and that it is his only chance that his legs will be able to work again." Shizuo explained and the boy opened his mouth to comment on it, but Izaya interrupted it by calling for the blonde.
Shizuo opened the door and went inside again. "Are you done?" A nod came and Shizuo slowly lifted the raven to a standing position again before lifting the boxers once again on the raven's hips. After having done that he lifted Izaya completely and took him back to the bed and placing him down on it.
Shizuo gave the blankets to Izaya and the raven lifted them himself over his body. "Thank you Shizu-chan." Izaya said, but a smile didn't appear on his face. "Haru-kun, thank you too, for getting Shizu-chan to help me."
"Don't worry about it. Shizuo-san explained to me what happened to you." Haru said and Izaya could only nod at him.
"I'm going to get something to eat." Said Shizuo and when their eyes met Izaya nodded that it was fine, before the blonde left the room leaving the two of them alone.
"So, you're back here?" The boy started awkwardly.
"Yeah, they didn't really give me a choice." Izaya mumbled not really knowing what to say otherwise.
"I see, I'm still on the waiting list for a heart transplant, even though I have moved up to the second position." He said.
"That's great, you might not need to wait that long then." Izaya tried to sound cheerful but he knew he failed. He hadn't been able to hide his true feelings as good as he had been and his masks had been slipping and especially in front of Shizuo. "Are you still studying?"
"Yes! I have been doing my best, but I have a few questions, so can I ask them the next time?" The boy asked suddenly enthusiastic.
"Why don't you get them now?" Izaya offered and with a nod Haru left to get his books. Izaya laid his head back on his pillow and he closed his eyes for a moment. He could hear footsteps approaching him and when he opened his eyes he saw his doctor walking towards him.
"Orihara-san? Can we talk right now? I wanted to discuss the surgery." The doctor said.
"Sure, Haru-kun will be coming back with his books, but we can talk before that." Izaya said and focussed his eyes on the doctor.
"I want to do the surgery two days from now, since the tumor is clearly affecting your body now and the sooner we remove it the better. You must realize that we're planning on removing the tumor completely and that there is a risk of brain damage." Izaya listened to the doctor's words carefully.
"I know that there are risks, but what I really want to know is if my legs will be able to move again if I take this surgery." Izaya said, since that was the thing he thought most important now.
"It is the only possibility that your legs will work again, but I can't promise you that they will work again after the surgery. If the tumor has damaged the part that controls your legs too much, then you might remain like this for the rest of your life." The doctor was honest. Izaya knew that, but that didn't make the reality any less hard.
"I understand and further there is a possibility of my sight getting worse and such things right? I might even get trouble speaking and understanding if you damage a certain part right?" He had researched this, so he was ready with questions.
"That are worst case possibilities indeed, but the chance is very small, even though your sight might get a bit worse, so you might need glasses for the rest of your life." Izaya knew that the last part was a big possibility, but if that was the only thing he could definitely live with that.
"There's one more thing that I want to discuss with you doctor." Izaya started. This was something he had been thinking about for some time. "If I die from this surgery or won't be able to function normally after this surgery, then could you let me donate my heart to Mizuki Haru? I know he's waiting for a heart transplant and if I die, then you may give my heart to him, but only to him." Izaya said and he could see the surprised look on the doctor's face.
"If that's what you wish for, them that could certainly happen." Izaya knew this was the best thing to do if he were to die. "Your heart will be donated to Mizuki Haru if you were to die, I will make arrangements for it." Suddenly the sound of books falling came from the door to the room and the both of them turned around to look at the door.
"Izaya-san? What are you saying?" The boy asked.
"You should talk with him." Said his doctor before he stood up and left the room.
"Haru-kun, I have been thinking about this for quite some time." Izaya started, but got interrupted.
"You're not going to die!" The boy suddenly yelled and Izaya smiled sadly at him.
"I'm not planning to, but it is a possibility and if I die, then I'm more than happy to give you my heart." Izaya wanted the boy to know that he was willing to do this.
"Still you're going to live and I'm going to receive a heart so I can live too." The boy said stubbornly and then grabbed his book before heading over to Izaya. "When is the surgery?"
"In two days. We don't have much time, so let's get you started, since the next time might take some time." Izaya said and grabbed the book that Haru gave him. "What do you not understand?"
"Ah this." Haru said and pointed to something. Izaya had to squint his eyes to be able to read it. His sight really was getting worse, he hadn't even noticed it yet.
"Oh this." Izaya said before he started explaining and he helped with the rest and so they spent the rest of the afternoon till Shizuo came back.