Boy V. Morons, Technology, and Cockblocks

"I know why you couldn't find him after you sucked him off!" The Sexta had rushed back into the apartment, bursting through the door to the Primera's room and disregarding the fact that they had neighbors on all sides of them.

Starrk jerked the sheets from atop his head, holding them to his chest as his eyes widened in surprise, frowning at the awakening and blushing at the outburst. Unlike some people, he had taken the incentive to be social towards the people sharing the building.

"I know why, Starrk!" He sonido-ed right to the other's bedside and bent over to give him the news. "He's a—"

The taller man flipped him into the bed without a word, probably causing more ruckus than Grimmjow had raiding the bedroom. He held his hand over the wide mouth; leaving bright, blue eyes open with fear in the wonder of what the arrancar was going to do to him while the other huge, warm hand pressed the opposing wrists firmly into the mattress above flaming blue hair. His upper body was on top of the Sexta, his face showing nothing but malice for the other.

"We have neighbors, Grimmjow." He was tired, really tired and was emotionally exhausted from the day. He whispered in a raspy tone. "It can't wait until Saturday?"

He took the meaty palm from between the other's sharp teeth and wiped it on his subordinate's white jacket.

"No." He swallowed, waiting patiently for his wrists to be released. He should have known better than to barge into the man's bedroom while he was sleeping. He had learned that on more than one occasion. "I know why he disappeared after you sucked him off."

The Primera's interest was piqued.

"He's not just a high school student," He continued the whispering, cerulean orbs flashing specks of the last, white moonlight. "Byakuya's a soul reaper."

"No, he's not." Starrk scoffed, dropping his whisper to speak in hushed tones. "Grimmjow—"

"He is, Starrk!"

"Grimmjow! I know you want to make me feel better or whatever," The Sexta almost rolled his eyes. "but, you shouldn't make up such heinous accusations as that."

"He really is a soul reaper, Starrk!" The pinned man was still whispering.

"Grimmjow."

"I saw him when I was with Yammi—"

"Grimmjow."

"—he was there with the sexy redhead—"

"Grimmjow!"

"—they were fighting hollows, defeating them e—"

"Sexta!"

"—and talking about Ichigo! And your ma—"

"HE IS NOT!" Starrk roared, throwing his hand back to the sharp canines.

Grimmjow breathed hard through his nose, turning his head to the side and becoming frustrated with the other's strength and stubbornness.

The bearded Espada rested his throbbing head against a white clad bicep and sighed. He released the man, bringing his arms to his noggin and wrapping his forearms around his eyes, rolling over to lie directly next to his bedmate. Grimmjow pulled his arms down to undress himself, throwing the white uniform next to the bed and turning back to Starrk, resting on his side.

"You, poor, poor bastard." He patted the tensed chest with a large hand, his touch enough to release small amounts of anxiety from the other. "Fuckin' around with a captain."

With that information, Starrk grimaced, baring his teeth and breathing harder.

"The redhead?" He asked, whispering again with Grimmjow.

"His lieutenant."

Starrk took a sharp breath.

"Are those even their real names?"

"…Aizen said not to be involved."

"Since when does Aizen know anything about anything that doesn't have to do with despair?"

Grimmjow was silenced, unable to penetrate his logic.

He would spend the entire weekend avoiding anything that had to do with or reminded him of a certain raven-haired beauty. Frankly, the whole two days melting into the cream-colored sofa was his plan.

Unfortunately, there was an emergency meeting called for by the self-proclaimed god, discussing what had been discovered by the tenth and the sixth Espada. He had found his way into his own heap of green cushions. He was waiting for the meeting to be officially announced, lounging around with Lillinette by his side. She frowned at him, insulted by his silence. She was the other half of him; he could at least tell her what adventures he partook in The World of The Living.

He looked away from her, the fact that he was uncomfortable under her stare becoming more apparent by the minute.

Sighing, he turned in his bed, waiting for the girl to leave him wallowing in his web. She frowned and stood suddenly. With a huff and an indignant stride she rushed out of the room.

Of course, right after she found her way out, Halibel found her way in and lay next to him on the heap of pillows. She said nothing and made no movements to acknowledge him with her reiastu, simply resting with her body towards the ceiling behind him. She shifted and folded her hands over one another, patiently waiting for Starrk to initiate something.

He didn't speak to her, rolling unto his side and waiting for her to begin the conversation. She glanced at his pale orbs and looked back to the elusive ceiling.

"I didn't know he was a captain," He started, figuring Grimmjow had informed her. "I didn't think it was going to be that intense either. I mean, I haven't had sex in 2,900 years but that was…indescribable."

"Him shoving his dick down your throat?"

"No. Tou—"

"Because according to Grimmjow, you seemed to be drowning."

He looked at her, their movements mirroring each other, momentarily.

"Touching someone else again. It's been a long time," He looked away from Halibel. "since I've had someone."

The woman frowned and scratched behind an ear. She didn't remember much about being a human; she was twelve when she perished. Starrk grimaced at the thought of being a virgin for 5,700 years.

"Well, was it that good for him, too?"

"How should I know? He came and left." He sighed and turned his head away. "I feel like a back-alley whore. Not even a 'thank you'."

"Maybe he has feelings for Grimmjow, too and didn't wanna be seen like that?" She wondered aloud.

"He's too serious and straitlaced to be attracted to the likes of Grimmjow. Definitely not his type."

Halibel didn't say anything for a long time.

"Did you force him?"

"No!" He turned his back to her in the bed. "Why would I force him to let me blow him?"

Her shrug had no effect on him.

"Crap!" He sat up suddenly.

"What is it?" The blonde watched his back with uneasiness.

"Nothing." Lying, he put his head in his hands and questioned how he and the newly discovered captain would finish their photography project.

"I won't waste any more time here." She pushed herself from the heap and strode away, giving a small wave as she closed the door.

Starrk sighed and ran a hand through chestnut locks. Taking off his socks and sandals, he got up from the bed. He thought an aimless walk might clear his mind. He knew all too well that a nap only delayed whatever issue was at hand.

Before he could make it out of the room, a boisterous, blue-haired, young man hit him with the door.

"So, what are you going to do in school on Monday?" Starrk spun as Grimmjow spoke, until he tripped over his "mattress" and landed with a huff. "Seeing as you two had such an awkward parting and you won't be able to finish your project this weekend."
The taller man gave a child like whimper, face in a pillow.

"I mean, I can't figure how he's gonna react to the fact that your 'cousin'—air quotations included because I know you can't see— has discovered the true nature of your relationship."

He made an even more desperate noise.

"Your cousin who happens to be friends with all the people who matter in school." He grinned smugly. "You don't think the shitty-gami are gonna pull him out and put another officer in his place do you?"

"Mff?" Translated to 'what'.

"Do you think he'll complain to his senior officer that he had 'personal troubles'—quotations again—and can't continue to work in The World of the Living?"

The other propped himself up on an elbow.

"'Oh, captain old bald guy, I can't handle the task you've given me because some strong, handsome, teenage boy is trying to get in my pants. Could I be reassigned? Perhaps to an easier position without virile, young men?'"

Glaring, the Primera relaxed and let himself kneel on the floor.

"Byakuya's voice is not that high. Lower your pitch." He mumbled.

"Point is, you're gonna fail photography and your social reputation will be in pieces by the time we get back." Grimmjow shook his cellular device.

"What? Where'd you get that? How do you have service here?" He kneeled erectly and pointed at the doomsday device.

"Szayel, he's easy to handle when you show a little skin." He grinned and began to take his tiny jacket off.

Starrk grimaced as his very long tongue found its way to a familiar canine and wrapped itself around the tooth. His counterpart smiled and lidded vibrant blue orbs even further.

"Real easy." He said in his slowest, deepest voice.

"Oh…that's nasty, Grimmjow." He sat back on his heels and looked around the room trying to get the image of a pink-haired scientist bent over a desk out of his head.

"Oh, please." Shifting his weight, he pulled his clothes back on and sighed. "If you had one, you could call your boyfriend. Hmm."

With pseudo sympathy, he tilted his head.

"You don't have his number." Starrk looked on with disbelief, a scoff escaping his lips.

"I have everyone's number." He whispered quickly.

"Give me that." He spat and held his hand out.

"I don't think so." He frowned. "What do I get out of it?"

He huffed and grinded his teeth while thinking.

"I won't let you sleep in my bed anymore." Grimmjow narrowed his eyes.

"Fuck." He tossed the phone onto the bed.

Starrk chuckled and took the thing before it fell between the cushions.

"Poor kitty-cat, can't sleep alone." He pouted his lips in mockery and made puppy eyes.

"Shut up!" He stomped to the other side of the bed and plopped down. "You know I have nightmares about canines!"

With great difficulty, the taller arrancar stifled a laugh. Flipping the phone open, he hit the down key on the keypad until he realized the ridiculous names in the phone. They were all highly derogatory or pointing out someone's worst feature. The horrid part was that they were all easy puzzles to solve.

"Which…?" He continued to search for the captain's name.

"'Prissy Princess.'" Grimmjow put a hand to his jaw in mock awe and turned toward the other.

He typed in the letters 'Pri' and found himself frozen.

"What do I…say?" He looked up into the alluring, ocean-like orbs.

They stared back at him.

"I'm only good at getting people in bed." He shrugged. "I'm not some type of pussy romantic."

With anguish, he looked back down at the screen.

"You could tell him that Grimmjow didn't see that it was him." Nnoitra sat with his knees in the air and his neck bent awkwardly against the stone slab. He was filing his nails and testing them for the perfect point on the Sexta's skin every now and then.

"But we made clear eye contact." The blue-haired man wiggled his nose and leaned into the other's shoulder as he filed. With a much smaller body, he was more comfortable with the seating arrangements.

"You could argue you were drunk," The skeleton argued, remembering the detailed description of the scene. "Or high, all that lipstick."

"I'm classy and don't drink before sundown." He said proudly.

Starrk sighed again, eyes watching the clock on the outside of the cheap flip phone as it ticked away. He leaned over the balcony adjacent to Nnoitra's quarters and searched for something to say to the man.

"What I don't get it is why he ran off," The tallest man questioned. "I mean, he thinks you're all just teenagers, right?"

"Right," Grimmjow answered quickly.

With relief, the one opposite the other two let out a huff. That was a good detail to be left out of the story. This skeleton was the keeper of all those in closets and knew every intimate detail of all being's lives that had made contact with his. He was also one for listlessly laying them strewn about in his wake.

"Maybe he was just trying to hide his sexuality." The Sexta saw that as the perfect opportunity. "Obviously, he likes you a lot but he probably isn't ready to let everyone know yet."

"He is pretty gorgeous. He'll get 'jumped' if they know he enjoys it."

"Just because he's gay doesn't mean he enjoys gang rape, moron." Nnoitra frowned at his naivety.

"Just tell him that you understand that he's not ready to come out of the refrigerator." Grimmjow smiled sympathetically to the back of the arracar's troubled head.

"Closet."

"What?"

"It's 'come out of the closet'." The onyx-haired man really did know all.

"Whatever," He mumbled.

"Okay, I'll tell him that." Before the phone was flipped fully open, his two subordinates were all ears, attached to either side of him with great interest. "Alone."

"Oh, come on." Grimmjow whined.

"We're your support system." The tallest man's argument was much better thought out.

It didn't work. Starrk continued to the search through the contacts until he came to the ridiculous nickname that Byakuya had earned himself. He paused and looked at the other two.

"Go away."

"Oh, no," The Sexta feigned compassion. "We're here for you man, through thick and thin."

"Through speakerphone and voicemail." Nnoitra smiled and took his leave to lean back against the opposite wall of the balcony.

The Primera turned to the irritating arrancar on his right. Reluctantly, he too made his way back to the exterior wall of Las Noches.

"'S my phone." He said under his breath as Starrk hit the 'dial' button and put the phone to his ear.

He swallowed hard, failing to scare his heart back to its spot between his lungs. The pounding in his ears was enough to drown out the sound of the dial tone.

Little did he know, that on a different side of the Dangai Precipice an incognito captain was struggling to keep his life source under control as well. He tried to reign in his loudest muscle by placing a hand on his cheek to cover the blush quickly forming. The redhead on the ground turned towards the man as he felt the usually quiet reiatsu pulse with…excitement?

Maybe it was fear. It definitely wasn't irritation, he had felt that vibration many times before. Byakuya looked at the screen on his phone and bit his lip, another highly uncharacteristic gesture.

"Are you going to answer it?" He asked timidly. Smoke flowed from his nose and mouth.

"How often do teenagers answer their phone in this world?" He questioned as the obnoxious 8-bit tone kept singing.

"Always." Renji studied him, uncaring about the fact that the little red-haired boy that could be a fellow heir to a certain 'y' chromosome was peeking at his cards. He paid the young girl no mind either.

"Answer it." The captain tossed the phone in his direction.

He caught it with one hand suavely and checked the caller-id.

"Ayyyyyyy! Grimmjow!" He shouted as he turned back to the children in the gravel lot with him.

There was a pause as the man on the other end of the line's heart skipped a beat out of an incredible mixture of relief and panic.

"Renji." He said as Nnoitra and his fellow snooper leaned in out of interest.

"Oh," He shifted a ceremonial cigarette to the opposite side of his mouth. "Whaddup, Starrk?"

With a glare, the marked man smacked Jinta's hand away from his cookies. Behind him, Byakuya had taken a couple steps off the deck of the deceiving shop and Urahara had transmuted from a shadow.

"Uh, not much," He looked around the vast desert. "Just hanging out with family."

"Oh, yeah?" More smoke escaped Renji's lips.

"There isn't much to do around here." He stood up and scratched the back of his head. "It's pretty dry."

"Well, spending time with family is important, man." He raised the bet by tossing a brownie out onto the center plate atop the tiny stones covering the lot.

"What are you doing?" Starrk heard the redhead snicker. The children had met his raise.

"Just sitting around at my, uh, uncle's shop," He made a face in response to both Jinta's frustration at losing another hand and that 'uncle' was the best he could come up with. "Teaching some kids how to play poker."

"I see, I mean, are you…too busy to talk?" A hand hit his forehead and Grimmjow giggled behind him.

"Nah, just chillin' outside. The dusk is beautiful, isn't it?" The raven-haired man, craned his neck with attitude, a habit he had recently picked up.

"Ah, yeah." The Primera tried to remember what the beginning of night looked like. "Very orange."

"And red and green and blue and purple." He turned to the man behind him and took the butt out of his mouth with thick fingers. "Really brings out the color in people's eyes."

"I'll remember that," He chuckled and began pacing the tiny terrace. "For dates, ya know."

Renji scoffed and stood throwing his cards on the ground next to his plate of sweet treats.

"So, were you trying to reach Byakuya?" He stretched in the sunlight and made an ugly face at his captain.

He simply adjusted his yukata and stared the other down.

"Well, yeah. We need to finish our, uh, photography project." Looking at the floor as he walked, he drew more attention from the two sitting near him.

"Want me to see what's up with him?" Casually, he walked past the barely garbed man and scuffed his tennis shoes on the wooden deck.

Byakuya turned behind him, stirring the dusty yard with his bared feet and tucking a few freed strands behind his ear. He was watching intently, eyes darting all over the lieutenant's body, from sealed lips to twitching forearms to downcast eyes to shuffling feet.

"Yeah, that'd be great," The brunette turned and then stopped pacing, hand still rubbing the back of his racing mind.

"Alright, hold on."

"'kay."

Renji put the phone against his chest and looked at his captain expectantly.

"I'm not here, Abarai." He looked at the filter twisting between the other's fingers and squinted as the golden light entered his eyes.

Grinning, he shifted feet and flipped the cigarette to tap off the ashes. He loved smoking in gigais.

"Where'd you go?" Holding his chin up cockily, he looked down at his captain.

"Here." He stepped onto the ledge palm upturned with the other, expecting him to move, but finding himself clinging to his subordinate to keep himself from falling.

"Where'd you go?" Cooley, he leaned against the pillar Byakuya couldn't get a grip on and let smoke wander out of his nostrils.

His captain watched with interest as the white air fell from the sharp nose and bounced off his own chest. Renji put the phone back to his mouth.

While they were bickering, Starrk was trying to ignore the stupid suggestions coming from his moral support.

"Tell him that you had a great time." Grimmjow couldn't keep a straight face.

"No, tell him that you're okay with a secret romance." Nnoitra's mouth quivered. "Secrets are hot."

"Like Romeo and Juliet." The blue-haired arrancar burst out laughing while the Quinta tried to stifle what was a squeal.

"Shut up!" He put his hand over the phone and held it out towards the sands. "I don't want him to not take me seriously."

"Aizen's Capulet and the Gotei commander is Montague." The Sexta cackled in a raspy manner.

"That makes," Nnoitra was lost for breath. "Renji Mercutio and Ichigo, Benvolio, and you…you're the nurse, Grimmjow!"

They both guffawed embarrassingly and pointed at Juliet.

"Hold on, let me check upstairs." The lieutenant put the phone against his chest and immediately picked it back up. "And outside, may take a minute."

"Tell him that Urahara and I went to get something from the store." He looked up at the crimson stubble glowing in the sunlight.

"That sounds weird," He smirked, butt being tossed to the other side of his mouth. "'Your boyfriend wandered off with a perverted old fart'."

Both Renji and Urahara snorted but only one was stifled. As his amber eyes came back to the expression on his commander's mouth, Renji all but squawked.

"Shhhhh!" Byakuya reached for the phone as the tattooed man leaned forward.

"What was that?" He lifted the thing up, swung his arm around his back, and pressed the receiver into his back. "You're all flushed, captain."

He stepped back and reached for the shorter man's reddened cheeks with calloused, rough fingers. Grasping his jaw and both doughy morsels, he made the other's lips pout as he taunted him.

"Human boy got your panties in a bunch, sir?" The raven-haired man kept his cool, remembering that the other had the phone. The smoke flowed directly through Byakuya's perfectly white teeth as the taller man whispered. "Or has he already had what's in them?"

"Abarai," He hissed and gripped the wife beater the other was wearing.

"No, seriously. Is that why you wanted me to answer the phone?"

The captain didn't answer, simply staring back.

"So you have gone all the way."

"All the way to where?" Renji released his lips only after he asked the bewildered question.

He stood erect as the grasp on his shirt loosened a tiny bit. Pulling the phone back around, he looked down in his captain's eyes, expressionless.

"He must have gone to get the ramen with my uncle." Renji said calmly.

"Oh," Starrk didn't know what to say next.

He looked towards big, azure orbs. They were fully focused on his mouth with compassion or amusement, he couldn't tell.

"Do you want me to tell him you called?" The shorter man's eye twitched only once.

"Um, yeah, could you?" The Primera pushed the palm of his free hand as far into his brow as his human-like reserves of energy would allow.

"No problem," He relaxed, shifting his weight to his left side and placed his hand roughly on Byakuya's while looking towards the dusky sky. "I'll tell him to call you back."

"Thanks, Renji." He sighed into the phone as the receiver grunted and pressed the 'end' button. "Oh, god."

The bearded arrancar melted onto the white, stone floor and closed the cheap phone. Nnoitra chuckled before his blue-haired pal followed suit.

I didn't know months could pass that quickly.