Chapter 2

What was she doing? Why had she told Charlie yes?

During the next four periods after her dad's class Riley was freaking out inside. She'd assured Maya that she knew what she was doing when her best friend asked, but she really, really didn't.

She wasn't ready for dating. Even when she'd liked Lucas (so very much), and they'd known each other well and had learned to talk more easily, she'd quickly realized after their painfully awkward attempt at a date earlier that year that she wasn't ready for dating.

And now here was Charlie, a boy she barely knew at all, a boy who, however sweet, made her feel under pressure. Because she didn't understand exactly what he wanted from her but she almost certainly wasn't ready to give him whatever it was. She wanted so badly to go find him during their shared lunch period and tell him she was sorry but she'd changed her mind.

But she was forcefully reminded of why she'd agreed in the first place, first at lunch, when Zay had made a comment about what had happened in class that morning, but most especially in sixth period, when Maya told her that Lucas had asked her out.

She accepted the news with resolution. And didn't feel betrayed at all. She loved Lucas like a brother, she reminded herself. And she wanted Maya to have her chance with him.

She just hadn't expected the two of them to take that chance and run with it quite so quickly.

Everything was just happening so quickly.

But it didn't matter, she told herself dismissively. They were going on a date together, and she was going out with Charlie. She didn't allow herself to second guess it anymore after that. It was what she wanted, she thought forcefully. It was the way things should be.

And that sick feeling that stayed with her for the rest of the day would go away.

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What was she doing? Why had she told Lucas yes?

For the rest of the day Maya questioned her actions just like she had in Texas.

She'd known for awhile that she felt some kind of spark with Lucas that you probably wouldn't feel for someone who was just a friend. And it definitely wasn't something you should feel for your best friend's unofficial boyfriend.

So she'd ignored it, and playfully heaped on the insults, and told herself it was just the challenge she always felt with him to ruffle that unflappable good guy thing he always had going. She never asked herself why she felt so compelled to ruffle his feathers and get him to react to her.

Riley liked him, he and Maya were just friends who enjoyed the little game they played back and forth, and that was all that mattered.

But then she started thinking that he and Riley seemed more like a brother and sister, and that spark got harder to ignore. She'd never told Riley that she'd started to see them that way, even though she didn't like keeping secrets from her. But she knew how Riley was, and if she knew Maya was thinking that she and Lucas seemed more like siblings she was afraid Riley would let that get into her head, making her worry over it and start questioning everything. And ultimately it didn't matter what she thought about the state of their relationship, unless Riley came to the same conclusion on her own.

Then Zay came along, and blabbed about Lucas calling her a blonde beauty in his texts. And a month or so ago Zay had pointed out how fired up Lucas was getting on her behalf when they were threatening to cut art class. And suddenly Maya was questioning everything herself.

She couldn't help but wonder if Lucas felt the spark between them, too. But she didn't let herself wonder about it very often. It didn't change anything even if he did. So she'd kept her shifting, confusing feelings to herself.

She thought she'd been doing a pretty good job of hiding them. Until Lucas had to go and ride that stupid bull. She'd given herself away then. And Riley had seen.

Riley told her that she'd known for awhile that Maya had been thinking she and Lucas were like brother and sister. She'd been totally calm when she'd said it, and hadn't seemed like it had messed with her head at all. She'd just admitted it was true, that she loved Lucas like a brother. And the craziest thing about it was that when Riley had said that? Maya had suddenly been as scared as she'd been when Lucas had been clinging to the back of that giant, rampaging bull.

Riley had said that there was nothing Maya could ever do that would change the two girls' friendship, and she should go ahead and feel whatever she was feeling towards Lucas.

The trouble was, Maya didn't know what she was feeling for Lucas. She didn't even know how to act around him anymore since Riley had told him she liked him. She'd tried to fall back on her familiar teasing mockery but it had led to that whole crazy-confusing moment by the campfire when he'd grabbed hold of her face to shut her up. She'd thought he was going to kiss her then and it had thrown her into a tailspin. She'd wanted him to but she was so glad he hadn't. She didn't know why he hadn't, but then again, she didn't know why he'd cradled her face like that in the first place. She didn't know what to make of any of it.

Everything was just happening so fast. Riley wasn't going to be with Lucas anymore, they were going to be like brother and sister instead. And she was already going out with someone else, which pretty much sealed the whole deal. So when Lucas had asked Maya on a date, even though it all seemed so soon, she'd gone ahead and said yes. Riley kept telling her to go with her feelings, and if Lucas actually wanted to go out with her, that's what she wanted, too.

Right?

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What was he doing? Why had he asked Maya out?

All through his last few classes of the day Lucas kept asking himself that.

Somehow everything had gotten so crazy and upside down. Riley, the girl he'd been into ever since he'd first gotten to New York, suddenly wasn't into him anymore and wanted to be his sister. And Maya, the girl who cheerfully and gleefully made fun of him all the time suddenly liked him. Or actually, maybe not so suddenly. Maybe she'd liked him for awhile.

He'd had two days to think about it and he still couldn't wrap his head around the whole thing.

He didn't understand how Riley could make such a sudden turnaround. They'd been just fine last week. In fact, when he'd gone over to her house to study Thursday night they'd ended up laughing and talking more than studying. And when he'd teased her from across her dining room table, her eyes had sparkled when she'd teased him back, and he'd been pretty sure they were both flirting. Most definitely they hadn't been acting like brother and sister. Where had that even come from?

At first he hadn't completely believed her when she told him she loved him like a brother. It had come so far out of left field that he wasn't sure she really meant it. She hadn't been acting like herself at all and he'd thought that whatever had made her say it was just something she was flipping out about like Riley so often did. Being close to Riley was a definite rollercoaster ride, but Lucas loved rollercoasters. He liked being able to help calm her fears when she was in the middle of a personal crisis. And usually by the time they'd helped resolve whatever was bothering her they all had learned something, about themselves or each other.

So he'd thought if he just hung in for a little bit he'd find out what was really going on.

But then she suddenly had this newfound comfort when she was around him. She said he didn't make her nervous anymore and she liked it. And the night at Chubbies when they were dancing, she'd talked about how she didn't want to lose him if they dated and broke up, but if they were like siblings maybe they'd always have each other. He'd realized then that this was actually something she'd been thinking about for awhile.

The knowledge shook him, and he'd realized that she honestly meant what she was saying. She really wanted them to be brother and sister.

And he didn't know what to do with that. Because it wasn't what he wanted at all.

And then she'd blindsided him later that night by the campfire when she told him Maya liked him and had all along. That completely threw him for a loop. It didn't seem possible at all.

When he'd asked Maya about it after everyone had left them alone, their attempt to have a serious conversation about it hadn't worked at all. Maya started mocking his speech, which was the Maya he was more familiar with, but for some reason, that time, it made him mad. She'd persisted even after he'd told her to stop and somehow, in the next moment, he was holding her face between his palms and his head was bending down to kiss her silent.

He'd stopped the moment he'd realized what he was doing, and he was shocked at what had almost happened. He and Maya couldn't even have a simple conversation together, what was he doing almost kissing her?

It confused him to think he might even want to kiss her. He'd never felt that way about her before. It had always been Riley, from the very first.

But Riley didn't want it to be her anymore. She'd accepted a date with another guy right in front of him. He was sure she'd only done it because of what Maya had said- in front of Mr. Matthews and the entire class- but when he'd tried to talk to Riley after class to explain what had actually happened she'd shut him down.

She'd said it didn't matter; that he and Maya were both free and they should do whatever they wanted.

"And I'm free, too, right?" she'd asked rhetorically. "So I should do the same."

She'd ended the conversation with a punch and a casual, "See you at lunch, bro!"

She'd said it all in that chipper Riley way of hers, but the whole thing had kind of destroyed him. She wasn't bothered by what might or might not have happened between him and Maya? She didn't even care enough to find out what it was? It didn't seem like it. In fact, it seemed like she was encouraging them to do more. And she was going to do the same.

He couldn't get that last thought out of his head. He'd had trouble concentrating in his next two classes because he couldn't stop wondering what she'd meant by that. Did she want to do things with this Charlie guy? That couldn't be right. In the whole year and a half that she and Lucas had had their 'thing' the most they'd ever done was hold hands and share a quick peck on the lips. Lucas had been waiting for his moment to really kiss her for the first time, but that moment had just never seemed to happen.

Charlie what's-his-name probably wouldn't wait for any moment. The guy was always swooping in as soon as he saw an opening, and he would probably just swoop in when it came to kissing, too.

But Riley wouldn't go for that, Lucas had assured himself. She wasn't ready for any of that. She'd told him she wasn't ready. But then what did she mean, she was going to do the same?

He'd brooded over it through second and third period, and when he'd gone into his Algebra class next, he'd found Charlie already seated at his desk there, talking to a couple of guys sitting behind him. Lucas had made his way to his own desk and had studiously ignored them as he'd taken his seat and pulled his things from his book bag. When he'd heard Riley's name he'd been unable to tune them out though, and he'd glanced their way to find Charlie telling them about about his upcoming date with her. He'd talked all about where he was thinking of taking her, and the whole time Lucas had gritted his teeth, sure that Charlie knew he was hearing them.

And lunch the next period hadn't been much better. Riley had sat beside him, talking brightly about the Biology quiz she and Maya hadn't been prepared for, joking about them all having 'train lag', and had generally acted as if she didn't have a care in the world. And the whole time she'd been nudging Lucas in the side, or pushing against his arm, or punching him lightly, continuing to demonstrate that she wasn't nervous around him anymore.

The only time she'd paused had been when Zay had joined them and had cheerfully announced that everyone in school was talking about Lucas and Maya after her blurted confession in first period.

Riley had gone quiet then. And for a second Lucas had thought he was getting it wrong; it really did bother her. But in only moments she was back to joking, leaning into him briefly in a playful nudge and happily calling him brother.

It just made him crazy that she'd been able to shut off the feelings he'd thought they had and could so easily change what he meant to her. But she was doing it without any problem, and it hurt.

He'd looked away to find Maya gazing at him from across the table, and she'd immediately made a remark, calling him Ranger Rick. It was the first time he'd felt like he was on familiar footing all day, and he'd sent her a grateful smile. She'd smirked back and suddenly he'd been thinking about their near-kiss.

And all familiarity flew right out the window.

He felt guilty even thinking about that. But he could hardly look at her without remembering it and trying to puzzle out why it had happened. He was so confused about what was going on between him and Maya. He had no clue what she was thinking or feeling and he didn't have much of a handle on what he was feeling, himself.

When lunch was nearly over the two girls had left together to go to the restroom. When they'd come back a few minutes later Riley had subtly steered Maya to the chair she'd been sitting in next to Lucas and had headed around the table to take Maya's former seat for herself. He'd looked from Maya sitting down hesitantly beside him to Riley as she rounded the table, and he saw her wave tentatively at someone across the lunchroom before reaching her chair.

Looking in that direction, he'd seen Charlie smiling over at her, his hand falling back to his side. Lucas had found himself gritting his teeth again, and for the last few minutes of lunch he'd seethed; over Riley and her date, Riley treating him like a brother, and Riley pushing him and Maya together.

When the bell finally rang and everyone got up to leave, he and Maya had brushed against each other as they'd pushed their chairs in under the table. She'd stopped and looked up at him while the others moved on, her eyes posing questions as they'd searched his.

And Lucas had looked back at her, thinking about what had happened by the campfire, thinking about Riley, and suddenly he'd been asking Maya out.

It had come out without thought. He hadn't expected her to say yes. And when she did he hadn't been sure how to feel.

Everything was changing so fast. It felt like they were back on the Amtrak train, shooting down the tracks, with no way to get off or even slow down.

But this was how Riley wanted it. And Maya must want it, too, or she wouldn't have said yes.

And apparently what he wanted didn't matter.