Chapter 7
After Lucas's conversation with Farkle he had every intention of talking to Maya at school on Monday. He'd thought about what he was going to say all weekend. (When he hadn't been thinking about Riley, wondering how her date had gone and whether she'd made any more plans with Charlie.)
But when he got to school there never seemed to be a good time to talk. You needed privacy for a conversation like that, you couldn't have it in the middle of a classroom, and there wasn't much privacy anywhere else at school either. Plus, Maya hadn't even mentioned their date herself, and he didn't want to rock the boat. So he put it off. And he didn't feel like a coward for doing it. Really.
They'd made it to art class, mid-way through the day, and there'd been no talk about anybody's dates Friday night. He was sure the girls had had plenty of discussion about them at home in Riley's bay window, but no one had mentioned them here at school, at least not in front of him.
Even though he was dying to know what had happened with Riley and Charlie he hadn't had a chance to ask her about it without everyone around. And he didn't want to ask in front of their friends. He didn't want to open himself up to whatever Zay might have to say about it, and he didn't want to seem overly interested about it to any of them.
They were all in the same art class together, but when he saw Riley go over to the supply cabinets by herself he decided to go talk to her.
She'd been pretty quiet around him all day. And the punching, nudges, and brother stuff had completely stopped. He guessed it was because he'd told her he couldn't be her brother anymore.
He couldn't say he was sorry to see the arm punching go, (she hit pretty hard for such a little girl) but he did miss all the other touching she'd been doing lately. He wasn't sure if she'd even been aware of how often she'd had her hands on him somewhere ever since she'd announced her new lack of nervousness around him. But he'd certainly been aware of all the playful slaps, the leaning into him, and putting her head on his shoulder. The intentions and the seeming carelessness behind the gestures had frustrated him, but the touching itself...well, he could get used to that.
Actually he had gotten used to it, just from the last week. Because now that she didn't seem to be doing it anymore he wished for it back.
She was standing on one of the low stools they used for seats, searching the upper cabinets, when he walked over to her. She was wearing one of those wispy-looking dresses that he liked so much and a tall pair of boots with high heels. He'd noticed that the extra height they gave her made her nearly as tall as him. He really liked how tall she'd grown this past year, it made them seem to fit together even better.
But he wasn't supposed to think about things like that.
"Looking for the purple?" he teased as he came up behind her seat.
He hadn't meant to sneak up on her, but her startlement was obvious in the gasp that was wrenched from her when she twisted sharply around. The teasing grin on his face quickly turned to horror as she suddenly started to fall from her tall perch.
One minute Riley was trying to find where Ms. Kossal had hidden her favorite paint and the next, Lucas's voice was startling her from her preoccupation with the cabinet's contents. She spun around jerkily in her fright, and what came next happened almost too fast for her to process. The stool wobbled dangerously beneath her, her heel caught, twisting her ankle and tangling her feet, and suddenly she was plunging towards the floor.
"Riley!" she heard Lucas cry in alarm as he lunged in her direction.
She wasn't sure what kind of sound flew from her own mouth. But whatever it was, it was short-lived because in the next instant Lucas caught her.
His chest wasn't nearly as hard as the floor she'd been expecting to hit, but her breath came rushing out of her anyway.
The suddenness of finding herself basically wrapped in Lucas's arms was a whole different kind of startlement. Their eyes collided in surprise then fell away as they tried to right themselves.
She'd fallen forward from the stool and her feet were still tangled together, with her toes barely touching the seat. His hands splayed on the upper and lower parts of her back, he tightened his grip to get her clear from the stool and give her a chance to untangle herself. Her own hands had found purchase on his shoulder and upper arm, and her fingers instinctively clenched when he pulled her free. For one second she was held tight against him, and once she'd gotten her feet adjusted, he loosened his hold to let her slide towards the floor.
Their eyes caught again as she slid down his front, the friction generating a surprising amount of heat. Were there sparks? Because she felt like there were sparks. And her heart was pounding a mile a minute.
The entire incident seemed like it lasted long minutes, but in reality it was a matter of seconds. While Lucas was guiding her slow descent to the floor it felt like they were locked in their own world. But they were brought abruptly back to the present when someone asked Riley if she was alright. Suddenly aware that the entire class was watching, they grew flustered and their movements became jerky. Riley pushed away from his chest at the same time that Lucas hastily loosened his arms, and she dropped the last inch or so to the floor gracelessly.
The minute her feet made impact though, she cried out and almost fell again when her ankle refused to support her weight. Lucas had been in the process of withdrawing his arms but they surged back up and grabbed her, saving her from the floor once again.
"Riley, what's wrong?" he asked with a frown, everyone else immediately forgotten.
"I'm not sure," she replied thickly, "I think I might've twisted my ankle."
Her friends had all rushed over, and a few other classmates came over to circle around her, too.
"Is it okay? Can you walk on it?" Maya asked, her brow furrowed with concern.
Riley had balanced herself against Lucas with one hand hanging on to his shoulder, and she was bent at the waist, with her other hand instinctively reaching for her ankle. At Maya's question she straightened slightly and gingerly put her foot back on the floor to test its ability to hold her weight.
She crumpled immediately, and was unable to hold back another small cry. She caught herself by clutching at Lucas's forearm with her free hand, but his arms around her waist weren't letting her go anywhere anyway.
"I don't think so," Riley shook her head in distress, "It really hurts."
Ms. Kossal chose that moment to come back into the classroom. Seeing all the students gathered at one side of the room, she dropped the papers she was carrying onto her desk and hurried over.
"What happened?" she asked, gently moving people aside so she could get through and see.
"She fell and twisted her ankle," Maya told her, resting her hand comfortingly on her best friend's back.
The teacher's eyes fell to take in the stool and the cabinets it sat in front of and immediately deduced what had happened.
Giving Riley an exasperated, stern sort of look, she said, "We'll talk about safety issues later, but right now we need to get you to the nurse's office." Her expression gentling, she stretched out her arm in an ushering motion that also had the effect of clearing a path for her.
"I can take her," Lucas volunteered immediately, letting go of her with one arm so he could turn with her and be her support.
"Okay, just be careful," Ms. Kossal cautioned. "Try not to strain it any further."
"Take care of her, Huckleberry," Maya added, catching Riley's hand as she moved past her to hobble across the room.
Riley held it for a moment, giving it a quick squeeze, and dropped it as she and Lucas picked their way to the door. She could still barely stand to put any weight on it at all so she was basically hopping on one foot while he supported her with an arm around her back. Her arm was around his shoulder and she was leaning heavily on him as they made their way out into the hall.
"You okay?" he checked, after they'd gone a few feet down the empty corridor.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she gritted out, her voice tight with pain.
Lucas looked over at her and the grimace on her face spoke of the strain she was under.
"You don't look fine," he said worriedly. "Let's rest for a minute, okay?"
He guided her over to the lockers against one wall and they leaned there to let her catch her breath.
"I'm so sorry about this, Riley," he told her remorsefully, and Riley looked up at him in surprise.
"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything."
"I came up behind you and scared you. That wasn't what I meant to do at all."
"Lucas, I know that," she assured him. "This was just an accident. If it was anyone's fault it was mine. I shouldn't have been up on the stool."
"Still. You probably wouldn't have fallen if it hadn't been for me. I really am sorry."
"It's okay," she dismissed, trying to absolve him.
But Lucas couldn't so easily let himself off the hook. She was in serious pain right now and it was all his fault. He should've never gone over to her in the first place.
"I think I'm ready to go on now," Riley said after another minute or so.
Lucas straightened from the lockers and readjusted his arm around her waist. "Just lean all your weight on me if you have to," he encouraged as he got them moving again.
She did as he suggested, giving him almost all of her weight, then wobbled along in a hopping gait beside him. The heel of her boot clopped against the floor in an unsteady rhythm, echoing through the quiet hallway.
After only a few more yards Riley was breathing as heavily as if she'd just run a mile. When every step started eliciting a small pant, Lucas tried to stop them again.
"Let's take another rest," he suggested, his concerned gaze taking in the pain that was contorting her face again.
"No," Riley stubbornly refused. "If we keep doing that it'll take forever to get there."
"Come on, Riley, just for a little bit. I can tell it's really hurting."
He wasn't wrong. Holding up her hurt ankle nearly parallel with the floor was making it throb intensely, and every step was jarring it agonizingly. But she just wanted to get the nurse's office where she could sit, and it was already taking way too long to get there.
"Just keep going," she told him breathlessly as she kept pressing on.
When a few more steps were behind them Lucas tried again. "Let's just stop for a few seconds. A few seconds won't make much difference, right?"
Riley went on for several more steps then finally gave in. "Okay, maybe just a few seconds," she agreed.
Relieved, Lucas steered her over to the lockers once more. Her eyes closed as she sank back against them, and he watched unhappily as she exhaled heavily through her nose, her forehead furrowed with discomfort.
"Would it help if we took off your boots?" he proposed, wanting only to relieve some of her pain. "The heels on them are pretty high and you seem a little unsteady with just the one."
"Yeah, maybe," she assented, and he instantly went down on his knee to help her get them off.
He tugged down the zipper on the one that encased her good foot, but couldn't figure out how to get her out of it while that foot was supporting her. "Can you slide down and sit on the floor for a minute?" he offered as a solution.
Riley awkwardly tried to maneuver herself down while holding her hurt foot aloft, but it was difficult to get the leg she was supporting herself with out from under her.
"Here, hold onto me," Lucas directed, catching her hand and placing it on his shoulder as he knelt.
Using him as a support, she finally managed to get down to the floor with her legs stretched out in front of her. It felt good to sit, but it was probably going to be awfully hard getting back up. She helped Lucas tug off the boot he'd unzipped, then he carefully slid down the zipper on the other one. She thought it would feel good to get her ankle free from the constraint of the boot, but first they had to get it off.
"You ready?" he looked up at her inquiringly, hesitantly taking hold of it at the heel and toe.
Riley nodded and braced herself, but she was unprepared for the intensity of the pain that shot through her leg with his first gentle pull.
"Wait! Lucas, stop, stop, stop!" she gasped out, her hand flying out blindly and catching him on the shoulder. Her fingers clutched at a handful of his shirt as she bit back a sob, and she hid her face in her outstretched arm. "Ohhh, my gosh, that hurt so much," she whimpered.
Lucas had jerked his hand from her boot as if it had burned him, and his face twisted with sympathetic pain. "Riley, I'm so sorry. That was such a bad idea," he lamented.
With her entire lower leg throbbing in white-hot pain, she had to agree with him. But she didn't want him to feel guilty about it. "It's okay," she breathed, "just give me a minute."
He silently complied, sitting stock still without shifting an inch, his only movement the slow, soothing stroke of his hand up and down her back as they waited it out.
She concentrated on the steadying comfort of that touch until the severity of the throbbing subsided a tiny bit. Raising her head from her arm, she blew out a long controlled breath.
Lifting wet eyes to his, she said huskily, "I think that one needs to stay on."
"Yeah, I think you're right," he replied dolefully, his heart clenching at the sight of her tears. "I'm sorry, Riley, we shouldn't have tried that." His voice was thick with self-reproach.
He knew from past experience with his own sports injuries that the boot was going to have to come off, but he wasn't going to be the one to do it. He'd rather rip his own arm off than to cause her pain like that again.
"Not your fault," she told him again, giving a shake of her head.
But he didn't believe it this time either. It was completely his fault that she was hurting like this, and it was killing him to see her in pain. He'd trade places with her in a heartbeat if he could.
"We need to hurry up and get you to the nurse," he resolved. "She can give you something for the pain."
"I have to admit, that sounds pretty good right now. But I'm not sure I can get up off this floor," she admitted.
Determination hardening his feature, Lucas moved from her feet and got to one knee next to her hip.
"What are you doing?" Riley asked in confusion.
She was only answered by his silent movements as he slipped an arm under her knees and the other one behind her back.
"Lucas!" she protested, realizing what he was doing.
But the resolution didn't waver from his face. "Grab your shoe," he instructed before lifting her.
She snatched up the boot that was lying beside her and in the next instant he was climbing to his feet with her in his arms.
Her breath caught when they were upright, but not because of her ankle. He did this little bouncing thing to get her adjusted more securely in the crooks of his arms, and his show of strength sort of took her breath away.
Lucas misinterpreted the small hitch in her breath and ceased all movement immediately. "Did I hurt you?" he asked worriedly.
Riley only shook her head silently. Their eyes met, and the admiring, nearly transfixed look he found in hers made him swallow. He suddenly became aware of just how close together their faces were.
"Are you okay?" he rasped out.
She gave him another silent answer, this time nodding her head yes.
Given the okay, Lucas cleared his throat and started walking. He'd forgotten for a moment that he was trying to hurry and get her to the nurse. Remembering now, he picked up his pace, but his eyes kept straying toward Riley.
That look she'd given him had made his heart pound. There was no way that had been the kind of look that would come from a friend. Was there? Without question, it hadn't been a sisterly kind of look. He hadn't forgotten to be looking for evidence that her feelings for him weren't what she said they were. This had surely been a clue that he was right about that, hadn't it?
And there was also that moment they'd had after he'd caught her when she fell. There had been definite...feelings going on when their eyes had locked. Feelings that had been kind of electric. And she'd been feeling them too, he was sure of it. Surely she couldn't keep lying to herself about what she felt after that, could she?
Riley had been shaken from her daze the moment Lucas had started moving. She'd broken eye contact with him, suddenly feeling flustered. They were too close. Him carrying her felt too intimate somehow. And it felt wrong to have her arm around his neck.
It was like she'd just woken up and the things that her pain had overshadowed earlier were suddenly filling her head. Hanging all over him when she was testing her ankle and trying to walk, the way he'd caught her up tight against him, the way their eyes had held when he'd been helping her down.
That hadn't felt brother and sister-like. That hadn't even felt platonic friend-like. And she was afraid that it probably hadn't looked that way to anyone on the outside either.
And Maya had been one of those on the outside, watching.
Oh no. Maya had seen all that. What must she be thinking? Riley wondered, feeling sick. It had been an accident. The whole thing could be seen as completely innocent, couldn't it? Except for the look, she couldn't let herself forget. And the sparks. But no one could see the sparks, could they? Those had only been felt.
Had Lucas felt them? she suddenly wondered. She darted a look at him in question, and her eyes immediately became caught in the muted hazel-green of his.
Why did that keep happening? she wondered in distress.
"I need you to put me down, Lucas."
The thought of Maya seeing them right now had her wondering what the other girl would think. Would she think it was totally understandable that he would carry her? Or would she see it as the betrayal Riley was now feeling like it was.
"Why?" He jerked to a halt. "Am I hurting you?"
"N-no. I just..." She looked at him, shaking her head slightly. "You can't..." Her gaze dropped to his chest, and a crease appeared between her brows. "We just shouldn't."
Lucas just looked at her in confusion. "We shouldn't what?"
Riley made a sound of frustration. "We shouldn't..this." She made a gesture that encompassed the two of them.
He searched her face, trying to make the connection in what she was saying. "Are you saying we shouldn't be going to the nurse's office? Or I shouldn't be carrying you there?"
"You shouldn't be carrying me. Not when I can walk."
It seemed odd to him that she was objecting to it at this point. The only reason he could come up with for her to do it was that it didn't have anything to do with her ankle, but had more to do with the look she'd just given him and what he suspected it meant she was feeling.
"Riley," he said, testing his theory, "I'm just helping a friend, here. My friend is hurt, and I'm taking her to get some help. There's not anything more going on here than that is there?" He looked at her piercingly. "Is there, Riley?"
Riley met his eyes for a brief moment, but hers immediately fell away. Gaze lowered, she said quietly, "Please, Lucas, just put me down."
It wasn't an outright admission, but the fact that she hadn't just said 'of course that's all this is' made it seem to him that he might not be entirely wrong in his suspicions.
Responding to her subdued tone, Lucas spoke with equal softness. "We're almost there now, Riley. This is so much faster and easier on you. Please just let me get you there."
Riley bit her lip. What he said was true, this was faster and easier on her, and her ankle was still throbbing terribly. Those were all completely innocent reasons for him to carry her, so maybe no one would think any more of it than that. Not even Maya.
"Fine," she conceded lowly. "Can we please just hurry though?"
To her relief, Lucas merely nodded and started walking again. They really were close to the nurse's office, and in under a minute he had her there.
When they walked in the door, Mrs. Parkman, the school nurse, abruptly got up from her chair, saying, "Oh, my, what's happened?" When she realized who the tall, muscular boy was cradling against his chest, she sighed. "Riley Matthews. What have you done now, child? It's not time for cheerleading practice, is it?"
"No, Mrs. Parkman. I just fell and twisted my ankle," Riley sheepishly replied. She'd been in her office often enough that the elderly nurse knew her on sight now.
She tsked at Riley's answer and put a hand on Lucas's arm to direct him to the back section of her office and one of the padded vinyl cots set up there. "I'm starting to think of this cot as yours, you know."
"I have my own cot," Riley told Lucas as he bent to gently lay her down on it's surface.
As he rose back up, his lips twisted humorously. "I'm not sure that's something to be happy about."
"I should say not," Mrs. Parkman put in grumpily. "You're in here far too often, young lady. You'll end up breaking your neck one of these days," she ended on a mutter as she sat in the chair she'd pulled to the end of the cot. "Let's see what kind of damage you've done now." She nudged her glasses into place then reached for Riley's foot.
"We tried to get the boot off before we got here but it hurt her too much, so we had to stop," Lucas said quickly before the nurse could touch the boot herself.
"You did, hm? Well, let's take a look." She probed around the opening at the bottom of the boot's zipper, which was an inch or two above Riley's ankle and wasn't allowing her full access to the injury.
As she shone a penlight inside the opened halves of leather, she started muttering again. "You young girls and your footwear these days." Shaking her head, she gently explored the ankle through the boot as best she could, making Riley wince and clench her teeth.
Lucas watched the proceedings silently, his gaze moving between the nurse's actions and Riley's face. When a particularly painful probe of her fingers made Riley grimace and gasp, he winced right along with her and squatted down by her side to put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"Yeah, there's a lot of swelling. Sorry about that," the white-haired nurse apologized gruffly for hurting her. "You got this just from falling over?" she asked in disbelief.
"Well..." Riley hedged, then confessed, "I was standing on a stool at the time."
The elderly woman tsked again and shook her head. "What on earth were you thinking, child? You need to learn to be more careful."
"Sorry," Riley replied in a small voice that made Lucas want to wrap his arms around her. He settled for giving her shoulder a small squeeze.
"Yes, well, we're going to have to get this boot off. It's restricting the blood flow and I can't assess your ankle properly with it on."
When Riley's expression turned apprehensive, she patted the young girl's knee in a conciliatory fashion. "I'll give you something for the pain, and we can wait a bit until that kicks in before we try, okay?"
"Okay." Riley nodded in relief.
Mrs. Parkman crossed the room and disappeared momentarily behind a partition. There were several small noises as she moved around back there, then the sound of running water. When she came back she was carrying a small paper cup holding two tablets and a larger plastic cup filled with water.
She handed both to Riley, saying, "We'll give these fifteen minutes or so, they should be working by then, and then we'll see what we can do." She brought a cushion over from the other cot and had Riley lift her foot so she could place it under her ankle. "This should help with the swelling, too." That done, her gaze shifted to Lucas.
Fearing that he was about to be dismissed, he quickly stood and asked, "Is it okay if I wait with her? Maybe I can help, or at least be her moral support, when you take off the boot."
She looked at him for a minute like she could see right through his flimsy reasoning, but then her eyes went from him to Riley and she softened slightly. "I don't guess missing fifteen more minutes of class would hurt too much. You can stay and keep her company while I get a report filled out."
He thanked her while she was taking the empty cups from Riley's hands, then she left them and went back up front to sit at her desk.
"That's okay, isn't it? For me to stay?" he asked Riley hastily, realizing that he might have been presumptuous. "If you'd rather I just go..." he trailed off, motioning toward the door.
"No, you can stay," she told him hesitantly.
She had every reason to let him go. She was still feeling a little self-conscious, vulnerable, and conflicted about what had happened out in the hall. And it was probably selfish of her to keep him with her, but she was afraid that even with the pain killers she'd taken, the swelling in her ankle was going to make removing her boot really unpleasant. And it had helped so much to have him there when they'd attempted to do it earlier. So even though she shouldn't, she wanted him to stay.
She wanted it and yet she was leery of it at the same time. She wasn't sure what she'd given away out there with her crazy behavior and the last thing she wanted was for him to start questioning her about it. She was hoping that since Mrs. Parkman was within earshot of them he wouldn't bring it up.
It looked promising when he asked instead, "Are you comfortable? Do you need anything?"
"No. I'm okay," she replied.
"Well, let me know if I can get you anything," he said, moving a chair over to the side of her cot and taking a seat. "Are the pills doing anything yet? Is it feeling any better?" He gestured toward her ankle.
"Yeah, a little bit, maybe. I'm not sure if it's the pills or not, but it's not throbbing quite as much."
"Propping it up probably helped it a lot. I sprained my ankle playing basketball once when I was in fifth grade, and I remember it always felt better when I could get it propped up on something."
"You sprained your ankle? Was it bad?"
"I had to use crutches for the first week or so after it happened, and it took five weeks before they'd let me get back on the basketball court. So yeah, it was pretty bad."
Riley made a sympathetic face then asked anxiously, "Do you think mine's sprained?"
"I don't know. I wouldn't think what you did could have twisted it hard enough to sprain, but I guess there's no way to know for sure until you get that boot off. Putting your foot up should help a little with the swelling, so it shouldn't hurt as much to pull it off this time."
Seeing a return of his regret over their earlier attempt forming in his eyes, she tried to waylay it with humor. "If I'd known I was gonna be such a klutz today I would've picked a different pair of shoes to wear this morning."
Lucas smiled faintly. "I'm pretty sure this wasn't from you being a klutz. It happened because some jerk snuck up behind you and scared you half to death."
Riley gave him a look that was mildly chiding. "Well I never saw this jerk you're talking about, but if you happen to see him again you can tell him that my friend Lucas has already apologized for that and I told him that it was never his fault in the first place." When she saw that he was still refusing to forgive himself she added, "Seriously, Lucas. It shouldn't have scared me like it did for you to just come up behind me and say something like that. It's not like you grabbed me and shouted boo. I guess...my mind was just somewhere else when you came up. Lately, it's been doing that a lot."
"Yeah, I know exactly what you mean."
Riley looked at him and their eyes held each other's meaningfully. She could see that he did know what she was talking about. And she was afraid he was about to ask her something in relation to that that she really wasn't going to want to answer.
Thankfully, Mrs. Parkman walked in at that moment, saying, "Alright, let's get that shoe off and see what we've got."
The two teenagers turned to look at her, one with a face full of relief and the other in mild frustration.
Lucas had been about to ask her what was on her mind so much lately, hoping that it would lead to some significant answers. He was disappointed to lose his chance.
But Riley's injury was more important so he put it aside.
After examining the injured ankle with a few preliminary touches of her fingers the nurse nodded. "I think the swelling may have gone down just a bit, so this shouldn't be too bad."
As assurances went it didn't make Riley feel entirely comforted. A bit apprehensively, she sat up on the cot so she could more easily brace herself.
Lucas changed position too, standing from his chair and hovering at Riley's side.
Mrs. Parkman took hold of the boot in much the same way as he had earlier, cupping the back of the heel in one hand and wrapping the other around the sole near the toe. When she started to try and ease it off, the first tug reawakened the pain in Riley's ankle and started it throbbing again. It was still swollen enough that it was resistant, and the longer it took for the nurse to work it free the more violently it pulsed, until Riley's entire lower leg felt like it was pounding.
Her hands clenched around the padding of the cot on either side of her and she was biting her lips to hold back the gasps that wanted to break free. Lucas's hand had started rubbing her back soothingly, just like he had in the hall. Riley tried to just concentrate on that the same as she had then.
"This would be so much easier if the zipper was longer," Mrs. Parkman said under her breath. "Can you try and point your toes for me?"
It hurt, but Riley obeyed, pointing her toe as much as she was able. And that seemed to do the trick. The boot slid off with the next pull. It was a huge relief to get it free, but it was still pulsing with a painful heat.
"There now. That's better, isn't it?" The elderly nurse patted her knee again and dropped the boot on the floor. "I imagine we got it pretty aggravated again though, didn't we?"
"Yeah, it's really throbbing," Riley confirmed.
"Well now that we've got that shoe off we can get some ice on it." She went over to the partition again and when she came out from behind it this time she had a packet in her hand. Crossing back over to her patient, she squeezed the packet between both hands to activate it, then placed it gently over the ankle so that it was covered from one side to the other. "We'll let that sit a little bit before I do anymore poking and prodding, alright?"
A phone rang from somewhere in the office, and Mrs. Parkman turned to go back up front to answer it.
"You okay?" Lucas asked when they were alone.
"I've been better," Riley replied with a weak laugh.
His hand, resting on her shoulder blade near her neck, gave her a comforting squeeze. "The ice pack should help," he reassured her.
Mrs. Parkman came back and started gathering some things together in a bag. Her movements were urgent and she spoke to them as she was packing. "There's been an accident in the gym. Someone's hurt and I need to go tend to him."
Her bag ready, she looked at both of them and hesitated.
"I'll stay here with her in case she needs anything," Lucas offered in assurance.
Nodding decisively, the nurse told him, "I'll write you a pass when I get back. And you," she pointed at Riley, "stay there and rest that ankle until I get back."
Without another word, she hurried out.
"Nice bedside manner," Lucas said wryly once she was gone.
"Yeah," Riley agreed on a huff of laughter. "I think really she likes me. I bring her a lot of repeat business and keep her from getting bored."
The claim made him chuckle affectionately. "How's it doing now?" he inquired, nodding towards her foot.
Riley nodded to indicate it was getting better. "Dying down to a dull roar."
"Good," he said with satisfaction. "Do you want to lie back down?"
"No, I'd rather sit." She looked behind her at the head of the cot which was tilted up at a slight angle much like a hospital bed. "Do you think this adjusts?"
The two of them looked it over, and after fiddling with it a bit, managed to adjust it manually so that it sat up more perpendicularly. The steeper angle more comfortably supported her back as she sat, and she leaned back into it with a sigh.
"Good?"
"Yeah. Thank you, Lucas."
"You're welcome," he replied warmly. "Can I do anything else? Get you anything?"
Her lips quirked teasingly. "I'm fine, Nurse Friar. Thank you."
Lucas smiled self-deprecatingly, then his expression turned severe and he pointed at her in mock-sternness. "Fine, then you sit there and rest that ankle."
"Yes, sir," she complied with a smirk.
They grinned at each other and then their eyes fell away, smiles still lingering on their lips. It was quiet for a moment, and Lucas realized that they were completely alone and could talk without interruption now.
"So. What were you saying earlier? That your mind's been somewhere else a lot?"
The question wiped any lingering traces of her smile away. "Yeah," she confirmed with reluctance, dismayed that he was bringing the subject back up. It worried her where it might lead.
"So what have you been thinking about so much?" he asked lightly.
Riley shrugged and said evasively, "I don't know. A lot of things. I just can't seem to concentrate on anything lately because there's so much going on in my head. Even on my date with Charlie the other night, my mind was wandering half the time."
Seizing on the opening she'd given him, he said nonchalantly, "Oh yeah, I haven't had a chance to ask you about that. How'd your date go with him?"
She shrugged again, doubtful that he wanted a lot of details. "It went alright, I guess. I sort of spaced on the movie, which wasn't cool, but Charlie was nice about it."
He ignored the testament to Charlie's niceness. "And did you have popcorn and licorice?"
"Yeah- well, he did. I just tried a bite of it."
Wrinkling his nose, he said, "It doesn't really sound like that great a combination, did you like it?"
"It was better than I thought it would be," she admitted.
"Better than chocolate?" he had to ask.
"No." She shook her head definitively. "Chocolate is definitely better."
Inwardly, Lucas smiled. He knew it was stupid to think that her preference for his favorite candy over Charlie's meant anything more in the scheme of things, but that didn't keep him from feeling smug over her choice.
Riley thought she saw some sort of satisfaction on Lucas's face and bit her lip. They were still just talking about movie snacks, weren't they? She hadn't meant to imply anything when she said she liked chocolate better, but she was afraid maybe he'd taken it that way. And she didn't want him thinking that she was talking about anything more than candy.
"But who doesn't love chocolate?" she tacked on.
"Right," Lucas replied, feeling instantly deflated. So much for it meaning anything. He sighed.
"So, was there really no holding hands and no talking?" He tried to act as though that wasn't something he'd been wondering about for three days.
"There was some talking," she contradicted. The conversation was starting to make her uncertain. She hadn't thought Lucas would want details but apparently she'd been wrong. She wasn't sure what to make of that. Were they just talking like friends? Or did his interest actually mean something else?
Suspecting that might be the case she tried redirecting things. "But I heard there wasn't any conversation at all on your date with Maya."
Maya. Her best friend who was sitting in art class right now, probably wondering what was happening. How could she have forgotten about Maya? she demanded of herself, suddenly overcome with guilt.
Now that there was nothing else diverting her attention, her actions over the past thirty minutes became her sole train of thought, and Riley was deeply ashamed. Lucas was supposed to belong to Maya now and here she was making eyes at him, feeling sparks, and admiring his muscles. What was wrong with her? She'd betrayed her best friend, and she'd probably sent Lucas some kind of signals that she shouldn't have. She was a horrible friend.
"Yeah," Lucas admitted in a wincing drawl. "We pretty much sat there without saying a word. It probably wasn't much like a date, really."
"You're going to try again though, right?" she asked him, feeling the need to get things back on track.
"No," he answered slowly, "I wasn't planning to."
"Why?" she exclaimed, upset by this turn of events.
Lucas made a small sound of disbelief. "Because we were both awkward and uncomfortable that entire night, and we didn't say a word to each other. Does that sound like your idea of a good date?"
"You know it was just nervousness making it hard for you to talk to each other. It was the same with us," she pointed out. "But it'll get better, it has to, you just need to give it more time."
"More time, meaning more dating?" At her nod, his words bursted out of him in muted frustration. "Riley, that doesn't make sense! Maya and I can't talk," he reiterated. "It wasn't nervousness, we just didn't know how. That's never been what she and I do."
"Then you'll figure it out. Come on, Lucas," she urged with an uncomfortable laugh. "Things are different now. We'll just need to make adjustments."
"Oh, adjustments?" His brows went up briefly and his chin went out in a head movement that was distinctly Lucas. "You mean adjustments like going from liking somebody one day to telling them that night they've become your brother? Or like going out with someone and deciding it was a mistake because you're not ready for dating, then going out with someone else a few months later and apparently it's fine? Those kind of adjustments?" he asked irritably.
Eyes on her lap in discomfort, Riley said quietly, "We weren't talking about me, we were talking about you and Maya."
"Right. Me and Maya and our adjustment to dating." He shook his head wordlessly and looked blindly across the room, not even sure what to say. "I just don't think it's a good idea for me to ask her out again." He looked at her in appeal.
"Why not?" she asked imploringly, desperate to make this right for Maya.
Lucas shook his head and confessed, "Because I don't think it's fair to Maya for me to be on a date with her when the whole time I'm thinking about you."
Riley met his gaze, her eyes wide, and he returned the look steadily.
"What?" she said faintly.
"Riley, that whole night Maya and I were at Topanga's not saying anything, I was sitting there wondering what you and Charlie were doing on your date. I nearly drove myself crazy trying to imagine what you two were doing at that moment. Was he making you laugh? Were you telling him how you really like those cheerleader movies with all the sequels but Disney is your favorite? Was he getting to see how cute you are when you think you've laughed too loud at the movie and look around to see if anyone noticed?" Riley was looking at him in growing wonder, and he continued earnestly. "And what was gonna happen when he took you home and left you at your door? Would you shake hands, hug, were you gonna kiss him on the cheek? If he asked you out again would you smile and tell him yes, and I'd have to go through this all over again?"
"Lucas," she protested softly, shaking her head. She wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry.
But he just went on without stopping. "Those were the kind of things running through my head that night, Riley. And I knew I wasn't being fair to Maya, I kept trying to stop. But we weren't talking, we weren't doing anything except sitting in those chairs," he made a helpless gesture, "so my mind kept wandering right back there again."
Riley hadn't known it was possible to feel so elated and dismayed at the same time. Her heart was divided. It wanted to soar at the words he was confessing to her, but it wanted to break because this was ruining things for Maya. She wasn't sure what to say or do.
"Was...that the kind of things you were thinking about when your mind was wandering with Charlie?" he asked tentatively.
"N-not exactly," she replied. She did remember wondering at the end of the night if their date had turned out better than hers, but for the majority of the night, the gist of her thoughts hadn't really been like that.
"Oh." His gaze fell to the floor, disappointment evident in every line of his body.
His utter dejection cleaved her heart into yet another section and she couldn't stand it, not after all the amazing things he'd said about her.
"Mostly, he kept doing things that reminded me of stuff you'd said or done," she admitted. She knew she shouldn't have said it the moment it came out of her mouth. She shouldn't encourage him, this wasn't right.
And it was obvious that she had encouraged him when his head came up at her words and he repeated more happily, "Oh."
Immediately trying to explain it away, she said, "But that's probably normal when you go on a date, for things to happen that remind you of other dates you've been on. And since you're the only one I've ever gone out with..." She gestured toward him with upturned palms then spread them apart to affect a shrug as if that explained it. "And if you and Maya were talking, if you went out and did something like eat a meal at a real restaurant, or—I don't know, went bowling or something, your mind would be more occupied and you probably wouldn't think about me the way you did last time."
It took him a minute to get exactly what she was saying, and when he did, he looked at her incredulously. "You're saying you still think Maya and I should go out again?"
"Well," she let out a short breath as she made a helpless shrugging gesture with one hand. "you haven't really given it a chance, Lucas. Just because one date doesn't go very well, you shouldn't just forget the whole thing. Me and Charlie didn't exactly have a great date either but he asked me out again."
Lucas looked at her with warring emotions. "Did you say yes?"
For a moment Riley couldn't speak as she looked back at him. She could see her own churning emotions reflected in his eyes and all she wanted to do was make it stop. But Maya was what was important.
"Not yet, but I'm going to," she decided on the spot.
Hurt and anger flashed across his face, their intensity making his voice raw when he half demanded, and half cried, "Even after what I just said?"
"Lucas," she shook her head, feeling conflicted and wanting to cry. "We decided we were going to be brother and sister," she reminded him waveringly. "And if you don't want to be that, we can be...really good friends. But Maya likes you. And I know you like her, too."
"How do you know that?" he challenged angrily. "Because you didn't hear it from me. Riley, do you even realize that you've never asked me how I feel about all this? Ever since that night in Texas when you decided to change everything, not once have you asked me what I want. Does that not even matter to you?"
"Of course it does!" she immediately replied, but she was struck with guilt when she realized he was right. She hadn't asked. But it wasn't because she thought his feelings weren't important. "Ever since we got back from Texas I've been trying to do what's best for all of us."
"That's not up to just you to decide! Don't you think we should get a say?" Without waiting for a reply, he declared, "What's best for all of us is for everyone to be truthful about what they're feeling, and we all figure out where to go from there."
Riley blanched, the meaning behind his words clear. He was saying she was the one who needed to be truthful about her feelings. He knew.
"Farkle told you," she guessed flatly.
"No he didn't," he refuted, aggrieved. "I figured it out myself. I wasn't even sure I was right. Until now."
Riley bit her lip, upset that she'd given it away.
"It's true, isn't it?" he demanded, reading the truth on her face. "You've been lying this whole time," he accused.
"I wasn't lying," she immediately refuted. "Not at first, anyway," she admitted in a mutter. Her eyes on her lap, she said, "I was trying really hard to make it be true, but..." She shook her head.
"But it wasn't," Lucas concluded. "You never thought of me like a brother."
Riley didn't answer for a long moment, but eventually confirmed it with a shake of her head.
The admission created a jumble of emotions inside him, chief among them being relief.
"But it doesn't matter," she declared in the next instant, obliterating the relief as quickly as it had come.
"What are you talking about? Of course it matters. Riley—"
He was reaching out and moving in closer, but Riley cut him off, bringing her hand up in a halting motion to stop him. "No. Lucas. It doesn't matter because this doesn't change things. I still don't want to date you." She thought she saw him flinch, and the pain and disappointment on his face was nearly palpable. "I want us to be a part of each other's lives, always," she reminded him achingly. "When we're older I don't want to have to say to people, 'Lucas Friar was a boy I dated for awhile in middle school. I wonder what he's up to these days?' I want you to be right there, so I can point to you and say 'he's been an important part of my life ever since we were in middle school'."
His expression soft, but intent, he posed a third scenario. "You know, there is another option. You could say, 'he was my first boyfriend in middle school and we're still here together. There have been some ups and downs along the way. And maybe- we even dated other people for awhile. But we always knew we wanted to be an important part of each other's lives, so we did everything we could to make sure that happened'."
Riley looked at him longingly. It would be great if it could work out that way. But even if she was willing to take the risk for it, which she wasn't really sure she was, there was still Maya to consider.
"Even if we did decide that was how we wanted things to go, I think this has to be the part where we date other people," she said mutedly. When he shook his head and started to say something, Riley stopped him with the reminder of, "Maya, Lucas. She's had feelings for you all this time and she never said anything." It always made her feel so sad and guilty to think about her best friend doing that. For her. Her gaze became searching as she added, "And I think you must feel something for her, too, or the 'something' that happened by the campfire wouldn't have happened."
Lucas winced at the stab of guilt he felt about that moment in relation to Riley. Yes, she'd told him their relationship was just platonic, but his feelings hadn't changed. Which was what made it so confusing that it had happened in the first place.
"Yeah, I'm not really sure how that happened. One minute we were arguing, and the next...we almost kissed, but we didn't, Riley," he promised.
Finally, she knew what had actually happened. They'd nearly kissed. The 'moment' Lucas had promised her, when their first real kiss would happen, had somehow never materialized. But in a matter of minutes after Lucas had found out that Maya liked him he'd almost had his moment with her. Riley couldn't deny that that hurt. It was a testament to the 'fire' and 'passion' everyone was always saying they had between them she guessed. And she also thought it said something about the state of Lucas's feelings for Maya.
"Maybe you should have," she told him quietly.
"What?" The question was startled. He was sure he'd misunderstood.
"Maybe you should've kissed her," she reiterated. He looked at her in shocked disbelief and Riley elaborated rather defensively, "There's obviously something between you, Lucas. You should give it a chance. For your sake and Maya's both."
"But... Riley.. what about us?" he questioned.
Riley shook her head. "Even.. if I wanted there to be an us, I couldn't go forward with it knowing that Maya likes you. And that you feel something for her, too."
"And you think Maya will? Riley, when she finds out you still like me she's not going to want to be with me. And I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with it either."
"But you'd be comfortable being with me, knowing that Maya likes you?" she challenged, turning it around on him. "I know you, Lucas. You wouldn't."
She wasn't wrong. He wasn't sure he liked Maya in the same way that he liked Riley, but if he couldn't say anything else for sure, he could say that he definitely cared about her. He hated for her to be hurt, and he honestly wanted her to be happy. He would never want to be the one causing her pain or unhappiness. But the same could be said about Riley. He just couldn't see a clear solution to this.
"Maybe none of us should be with each other like that," he muttered. "Maybe we should all just be friends."
Things would certainly be simpler if they agreed to only be friends. She'd agree with him on that wholeheartedly except...
"Except you almost kissed her, Lucas," she reminded him painfully. "That's not just friendship."
Lucas's eyes darkened with anguish. He'd never felt so conflicted or regretful. He never wanted to cause Riley pain but he'd managed to do it anyway. Because of one out-of-control moment that had thrown everything into question.
"And if it's not just friendship you should figure out what it is," she urged him lowly.
Shaking his head minutely, Lucas matched her quiet tone. "I don't want to hurt you," he told her, balking at the idea of doing anything that caused her further pain.
Riley took a deep breath to bolster herself. "I want my best friends to be happy. If being together is what makes you both happy then that's what I want for you," she said with blind determination. And it was nothing less than the truth. She did want them both to be happy. If it turned out that being a couple made them wildly ecstatic, she'd be glad for them or die trying.
Lucas heard what she wasn't saying though. What she meant was that she'd sacrifice her own happiness if it meant making the two of them happy. And he wasn't okay with that. He knew Maya wouldn't be, either, when she found out the truth.
"We can't make a decision about this without Maya anyway. You need to tell her the truth, Riley."
Riley nodded reluctantly. It would be so much easier for Maya to explore her feelings for Lucas if she didn't know how Riley truly felt about him. It was why she'd wanted to keep her feelings a secret in the first place. But now that Lucas knew the truth she couldn't keep Maya in the dark. It would just make her more hurt and upset when she did eventually find out the truth. And maybe Lucas was right, maybe this was what was best for them all.
"And then we'll figure out where to go from there?" she concluded the thought, repeating his own words back to him.
"Yeah." Lucas somberly nodded back.