Author's note
Hey everyone, sorry but I have to give you a sad flashback. You didn't think I'd let you smile for too long, did you? Just two things first!
Sorry about the long description of the house later on, but I decided to model it after the house in which I grew up in Southern France and, well, I got a little nostalgic.
Also to the people who may think Natsu overreacts to Lisanna's death, let me share with you my favorite poem. Funeral Blues (Stop all the Clocks) by W.H. Auden, which he wrote about his lover's death;
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
Sorry but just wanted to show how deeply it hurts to lose someone for all those lucky enough not to have :)
Anyways, enjoy the new chapter, and please remember to give me your valued reviews!
Two years ago
Year 782, Fairy Tail Guild Hall, Magnolia
"She stopped breathing, and then..."
The rain poured from the sky in furious torrents, smashing into floor like little meteors that shattered upon impact. Natsu Dragneel stood in the doorway, his ears ringing and the flowers in his hands slipping from his weak grip.
No. It can't be...
Mirajane and Elfman Strauss were both huddled on the ground; their guild mates surrounded them. The hall seemed strange; gone was the raucous laughter and drunken clamor that Fairy Tail so proudly sported. All the smiling faces had been stolen by some shadowy, ethereal figure, and replaced with grief and sorrow. Mirajane looked to the door, her face flushed and gaunt; her lively eyes now seemed empty and dead. In those eyes, Natsu saw the truth; he knew that it wasn't some wraith-conjured dream from hell.
Lisanna Strauss, 14 years old, had died.
Natsu turned around, his mind was still numb from the shock, Happy was curled up on the floor; screaming in agony. The dragon slayer plodded down streets as empty as his soul, blind, deaf, and dumb. He eventually stopped and dropped to his knees in the rain. Looking up, he saw a mass of hay and sticks at the dead end of a dirt path. The greatest moments of his life were all woven into that hut, moments spent with someone who had been much more than a friend, or even a lover.
With Lisanna, a part of Natsu had died, a buffer for his hate and frustration. She was the only one he trusted unconditionally, including Happy. When he was sad, Lisanna smiled for him. When he was angry, Lisanna covered his fist. And in that last rain four years, She had come to him in his great loneliness under Her red umbrella. The rain stopped and the clouds started to split allowing the sun to shine through onto the muddy ground.
"How dare you..." Said Natsu, shaking in grief, "How dare you shine?"
He screamed at the sun, not understanding how it could be. If She was gone, how did the sun still shine? How did rain fall? How did anything continue to exist? His blood boiled, and he wanted to forget. He wanted to forget Her blue eyes and Her wide smile. He looked at the 'home' She had built for them, and decided to start with that. His fist blasted into flames and his eyes went white.
"KARYÛ NO TE..." He was cut short by a frail hand on his shoulder.
Natsu turned around to see little old Master Makarov looking at him in sympathy.
"Let us sit, child." He walked to a nearby fallen log and sat on it, staring down. Natsu walked to the log and set himself down. The two mages, young and old, looked out at the swaying fields. They were both silent for a long time, Natsu wondered why the master had come.
"It's hard isn't it?" Asked the old man, "As it should be."
Natsu looked down, sobbing weakly and Makarov patted his back. "I can't believe I was going to..." Said Natsu feebly.
"I know..." Started the master.
Natsu stood up, glowering at the little man "How could you? How could you know anything about how I feel?" he yelled, tears flying "You don't KNOW everything you old bastard!"
Makarov stared blankly at the horizon, "You're right, I don't... But trust me Natsu, I know grief."
He looked up at his pupil with watery eyes, and said with a weak, quivering voice, "I have had to exile my son, lie to my grandson, and suffer the deaths of many of my Guild-children. I have lost many old friends, including my... my wife... my one true love..."
Natsu's eyes widened, he was appalled at what he had just said. And he had never seen Makarov like this; the image left a bad taste in his mouth even years later.
"I know how you feel Natsu, because I have felt it. It is a feeling I would not wish upon any enemy, but I also know that it is natural.
"Doubting the world and all its aspects, wishing an end to memories; without this sorrow, we lose our humanity.
"And you have gone through great pain my child... You have now lost the two people you held most dear, one to mystery, and one to fate.
"The pain you feel is great, because it matches your love for her. So cherish that love, let it ward off the pain and do not sink into despair.
"You will need time, but IN time you will heal. The gap will still be there, yes, but if you fill it with the best memories of Her, it may help."
Natsu looked down, hot tears dripping into the mud and mingling with the rainwater.
"Before she left on this mission... We..." His throat caught and he fell to his knees, sobbing into his hands.
"I know, but do not linger on what may have happened, child, for it will destroy you."
Makarov stood, patted Natsu on the shoulder, and started to leave.
"Master?"
Makarov turned curiously to look at Natsu, "Yes?"
"Long ago, I swore I'd go find her if she disappeared again..."
"I won't dictate your actions child, but whether you find her or not, it will bring you only grief. Mira and Elfman already tried."
The old man walked away, leaving Natsu alone with his thoughts. The young Mage still felt a horrible weight, but unlike before he wanted the memories, he didn't want to lose the small part of Lisanna that remained to him.
He sat hugging his knees and remembering all the moments he'd spent with her; raising Happy's egg, fighting the greedy Gorian once and being saved by Gildarts the second time in that thick fog, playing in the fields... Their first-and last-kiss before she left...
•••
Eventually Natsu had fallen asleep; in his dreams he saw an old house perched on a mountainside. The sheer rock face of the mountain loomed arrogantly over the hills and forests that stretched to a smooth white shore, giving way to a great azure mirror. The old house was made of mortared stone and covered with wild vines. It was topped with red clay tiles, the blue-shuttered windows looked to the sea like an old man who had returned to the same place he had for years on end. Twisted trees shaded a path down into a terraced garden and cicadas sang to the sweltering sun. The whole place had a great feeling of peace, from the noisy insects to the wind's loving whisper. Down in that garden, Natsu saw two figures lying in the bristly grass under the shade of a gnarled olive tree. Around them, the delicate flowers of wild strawberry plants huddled around their plump red fruits. Natsu started towards them in a mindless state, not fully sure why. It wasn't till he was feet away from them that he noticed the most obvious thing about them, their hair.
White and Pink...
He felt his eyes water as he watched the scene before him. They seemed older, late twenties maybe. Both lay on their left sides, the man behind his mate, holding her close against him and nesting his nose in the crook between her neck and shoulder. The woman was smiling serenely, her hair had little bits of grass and dirt in it and her white clothes were stained, but she couldn't have cared less. Her left hand was cushioning her hair and her right was layer comfortably against her swollen belly...
The dreaming Natsu felt strange, not because of the dream itself, but because it felt... possible. He felt like he could have stood there indefinitely, drinking in the sight of this ideal picture, and he did. Until he heard Makarov's voice again;
"Do not linger on what may have happened, child, for it will destroy you."
He shut his eyes
•••
And when he opened them again he was awake, curled up in the mud next to the old thatched hut. Happy was sitting nearby, looking at the sun go down in the west, his back facing Natsu.
The dragon slayer walked over and sat down next to the cat. Happy quietly leaned his head again Natsu's side and the human felt tears fall onto his lap. He moved his hand onto his best friend's shoulder and held him close, both of them looking at the sunset She had loved so much.
•••
The train lurched forward and a voice over the P.A. announced in a monotone voice,
"Thank you for your patience, the debris has been cleared and train now continue to Onibas station."
Several passengers clapped and whooped, appraising the lengthy disposal of a fallen tree.
"Hey there sleepy!"
Natsu looked up to see the face of the Venus whose laps he had just been using as a pillow. He smiled and a single tear rolled out of his eye.
Lisanna looked confused, "What's wrong baby? Bad dream?"
He lifted his head to press his forehead against Hers, "No. Wonderful dream..."
She smiled, said, "You'll have to tell me." and kissed him. And as She did, Dragon Mage cherished the taste of Her lips, the smell of Her hair, the feel of Her skin, the sight of Her eyes, and the sound of Her voice.
It wasn't just a dream... he thought, It was the future.