Author's Note: Didn't post one yesterday, so I'm posting two today!
His shoulder was going numb. He probably shouldn't have chosen to lean against the wall, but Cordelia wasn't moving to shrug her arm off of his shoulder and it felt like one of those moments where if you drew attention to it, it would end. So Xander kept his mouth shut.
Cordelia wasn't a very snuggly person by nature, which was actually one of the things Xander appreciated about her. Her non-snuggliness was emphasized by the fact that she wasn't draping herself over him dramatically right now, just leaning into him a little. He could smell her coconut shampoo. What was it with girls and coconut shampoo? Not that Xander had much experience with the smell of girls' hair (Willow's didn't really count, as she was his best friend, but it smelled lemony like dish soap), but according to most media, girls used liberal amounts of coconut shampoo.
He felt her move slightly, and at first he felt his stomach jump and then drop unpleasantly, because it seemed for a moment like she was moving away from him. Which was a strange reaction to have, because there was a difference between making out and just sitting in silence.
What did that mean, anyway? If he wanted her close all of a sudden? At the beginning of the year, he would have been okay with kissing Cordelia (even though he'd hated her, he still thought she was hot), but being in close proximity without actual making out wasn't something that he'd even considered as potentially okay.
Xander thought about this moment, and imagined sitting with Cordelia and not having to worry about her pulling away. He could move every so often, and then she'd move back into her position and they'd go back to…maybe they'd be watching TV instead of just sitting on a couch in the student lounge. Some stupid reality show that they could both make fun of, with lots of vacuous people that made Cordelia look like Albert Einstein. And he could say that to her, and she would pretend to get pissed off, but she'd duck her head and use her hair as a curtain so that he wouldn't see her smiling.
She had a nice smile. He hadn't seen it before they'd started kissing in closets, and even now it was a very rare occurrence. Usually the closest he'd come to seeing it was her annoying self-satisfied smirk after she'd got a good jibe in.
Something he hadn't known was that Cordelia (sometimes he almost called her Cordy, but it felt a little like a pet name and he wasn't sure how she'd take that) was a real person and not just popular, vapid Queen C. It was weird that he wanted to get to know her, because he'd been so certain that he had known her.
The most unnerving thing was that Xander didn't mind that he was starting to actually like Cordelia. Months ago, weeks even, it would have been oh god, something must be wrong with me, why would I like Cordelia, she's annoying and blunt and stupid, but now it was just a fact. He liked Cordelia. That didn't mean that he didn't think she was annoying and blunt and stupid sometimes, because she was, but it meant that he didn't mind it as much as he'd used to.
Cordelia moved away. Disappointed, Xander sat up, his shoulder practically crying out in relief, and then Cordelia moved back into his side again, still looking straight ahead.
Xander wished he had a curtain of hair to hide his smile behind.