Author's Note: Everyone lived. Set a few years after Chosen. Happy Valentine's Day (again)!

"Post-apocalyptic Valentine's Day bash!" Willow shrieked, picking up Tara bridal-style, losing her balance, and crashing down onto Giles and Jenny, who had been cuddled up on the couch. "Oops!" she giggled, rolling off of the adults and onto the floor. "Sorry."

Tara remained lying awkwardly on Giles and Jenny's laps before the latter cleared her throat and said with amused pointedness, "Willow, as much as I like Tara, I think she'd probably to be on the lap of the woman she married last week."

Willow continued to giggle on the floor, and Tara seemed to come back to herself, clambering off of the couple and kneeling down next to her wife. "She's totally drunk," she informed them with an apologetic smile.

"What, really?" said Spike sarcastically. "I hadn't noticed. Ow!" he added, and hit Buffy back. "I was being sarcastic!"

"I know," Buffy replied. "I don't appreciate it." She walloped him again.

"Kindly don't destroy my house, Spike, Buffy," Giles called. "Jenny rather likes that ancient vase you're having your tussle next to."

"Wait, what?" Jenny stood up, shoving Giles to the side, and deftly stepped over Willow as she flew across the room to attempt to pull Spike and Buffy apart. This did basically nothing, as Jenny was no match for a Slayer and a vampire, but she still seemed to be putting a lot of effort into it. "No you are not hurting my vase. Rupert and I got that in China. Stop that."

"Jenny, don't do that," Xander said tentatively. It wasn't usually wise to mess with Jenny when she was in Determined Technopagan Mode. "They could backhand you into a wall or something."

"Neither of you get the chocolate Rupert and I got for all of you!" Jenny said very loudly.

Spike and Buffy immediately stopped fighting.

"With the nougaty bits?" Spike asked, sounding quite upset.

"See what you did!" Buffy got up from her spot next to Spike and sat down on the floor near Willow. "You see what he did?" she complained.

"Nougaty," Willow repeated, and giggled more before sitting up. "I'm okay," she added to Giles, wrapping her arms around Tara and bestowing a sloppy kiss on her cheek. Tara laughed.

Meanwhile, Spike was doing his best to shrink into his coat while Jenny lectured him in her most foreboding high-school-teacher voice about how much trouble he was in and how not even Valentine's Day was going to save him now and how he'd better not even think about doing anything even slightly shifty because she wouldn't hesitate to decapitate him with Buffy's new machete.

Giles was watching her the same way Spike watched Buffy when she was fighting. Buffy noticed this and wrinkled her nose. "Ew," she said. "Giles, could you not?"

At Buffy's words, Jenny turned around, noticed the look in Giles's eyes, said to Spike, "Don't think we're done here, mister," and strode purposefully over to her husband, taking his hand and pulling him outside.

"Are they kissing?" Xander asked, sounding like he couldn't decide whether to be uncomfortable, amused, or annoyed.

Giles staggered past the window with Jenny's arms wrapped around his neck.

"Okay, all of you are just rubbing your married status in my face," Xander protested. "I'm trying with Anya, and it's going kind of badly—"

"Xander, you left her at the altar." Buffy walked back over to Spike, sitting down next to him. "Ever heard the saying 'once bitten, twice shy?'"

"I thought it was 'once burned, twice dead,'" Spike commented. At the strange looks he received, he shrugged nonchalantly. "Must have been a vampire thing." To Xander, he added, "S'not like I'm married to Buffy, though."

"You guys live together," Xander countered. "It's annoying."

"Hey, we're not the ones making out outside because we CAN'T KEEP IT IN OUR PANTS!" Buffy shouted, cupping her hands over her mouth.

The noises from outside abruptly stopped.

"Fair point," Xander agreed.

Giles came back in, dragging Jenny by the hand and looking both disheveled and annoyed. "For one thing, she jumped me," he replied indignantly. "For another, we were not going to shag in the bushes. And also—"

"Honey, you have lipstick on your mouth," Jenny cut in. "Kind of destroys the whole self-righteous I'm-not-a-sex-maniac tirade you were on." She took a handkerchief out of her pocket and dabbed at Giles's mouth.

"And she even carries an handkerchief!" Xander complained. "How lovey-dovey is that?"

"It's not lovey-dovey," Jenny replied. "It's five years of marriage. He won't let me do it with a paper towel because he's fussy."

"See, I don't have that to deal with," Buffy teased, and gave Spike an exaggerated kiss on the cheek. He ducked his head in an obvious attempt to hide his almost comically dorky smile.

"I'm gonna call Anya and complain about you all," Xander said suddenly, with a wide grin. "That counts as platonic, right? I mean, I get to talk to her."

"If it makes you happy, be with her," said Willow sagely before going back to playing with Tara's hair.

"What she said," Tara agreed, and kissed Willow on the cheek.

Xander hurried past his friends, taking out his cell phone once he was outside.

"Hey, Ahn," he said as soon as he'd finished dialing. "Yeah, it's me. I just…" He hesitated, than said breathlessly, "Happy Valentine's Day."