My past was filled with bloodshed, tragedy and unfortunate events. This would easily put anyone in a bad way but has it put me down? Not as much as you might think.
Being late was something I did to remember a long dead friend, half of the reason, okay, maybe just a small bit of the reason but I do pay my respects in another way and that tends to cause me to be late But being late can be amusing, especially when the day came when I met a certain trio of individuals, judging from what their files said about them, I had expected them to be rather loud about the whole situation.
But was that what they were really like? Kinda, it was more their facial expressions that were the telling factor in how angry they were at my being late, so I decided to be a dick for them not amusing me enough, "My first impression of you, you are all boring", I had used my bored monotone for that one.
"Does that mean that you being late was just a test, sensei", my backfired when the pink-haired girl I would come to know as Sakura asked this question.
"No, not really but I know that you are incredibly boring now", there was no reaction that time, had I gotten through to them, "Meet me up on the roof in five minutes".
"Huh, that guy seems one to talk if he keeps on talking in that voice and why is he so familiar?, have I met him somewhere before? or have I met someone who looks like him?", I could hear the blond boy say in the distance before a distinctly feminine, "SHUT UP!", was heard.
"Good, he has some recognition of who I am, he better have after I kept an eye on him for so god damn long!", I remember thinking then, it was refreshing to have the kid on my team, "And man is that girl loud, might need to get plugs, though that might piss them off even more, sounds like fun!".
While I was monologuing, the three 12 year old rookies sat down on the ground in front of me. They where now glaring daggers at me, especially the so far silent Uchiha.
It took me half a minute until I broke out of the trance, at which point I asked, "Now then, tell me a little bit about yourselves let's start with the broody one".
"Who are you calling broody?, my name is Sasuke Uchiha, I like tomatoes, sparring and training, I dislike murderers and traitors, I have no real hobbies and I dream to revive to the Uchiha Clan".
"Interesting, next blondie".
"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, I like fuinjutsu, the colour orange,ramen and training, I dislike traitors, the time it take for ramen to cook and delusional people, my hobby is gardening and I dream to become Hokage though the likelihood of that ever happening is, umm, who knows?".
"Maturing this early is not healthy, Naruto, nor is eating ramen for every meal and it is not a wise idea for a shinobi to wear bright fluorescent orange, finally you, pinky".
"Can it with the nicknames! My name is Sakura Haruno, I like dango, genjutsu and, erm yeah, not going to mention that that last one", oh, I had a very good idea as to what she was referring to, "I dislike enemies, unhealthy food and anyone who maliciously insults or hurts me or anyone I care about, I have a dream that I'd rather not mention", for Kami's sake was she secretive, not willing to proclaim that she loves Sasuke to me, their sensei, I was hurt.
"I'm Kakashi Hatake, I like and dislike many things, I have lots of hobbies and I have a dream that I am not really willing to tell you right now", I loved doing this, their expressions were ones of frustration and they were funny, "Now that we know each other good and proper, I want to tell you this: you are not out of the woods yet, you still have one last test that they never told you about".
"And that is?", Naruto jumped on that, not even angry, in fact, he looked happy, first proper smile I've seen of him in about 3 years now.
"A survival exercise, you will have to beat me in this test if you still want to be a proper shinobi, if so, I suggest that you not have any breakfast, you may throw up", they all seemed to be interested in taking the test at that point," Good, meet me at Training Ground 7 at 7am".
Oh, I just love being late, especially with them, they always had different reactions and this one turned out to be very sour,"Three hours late sensei, three. fucking. hours", Sakura's reactions were the best out of the three.
The three of them all seemed to look underneath the underneath with the advice I had given the day before and seemed very ready to go with plenty of energy to spare. "So, the aim of this test is to capture these bells that I am holding and you may notice that there is only 2 of them, that's because this test has 66% failure rating and only 2 can pass to full geninhood, to get them you going to have to do this with full intent to kill me", I loved this test and it was a very old one as well, dating back to the times of the Shodaime and seemingly passed through all Team 7s there had ever been up to this point in my life where I reflect on stuff that happened.
Naruto's eyes had narrowed to a point is you might think he couldn't see, which was something that always caught our enemies off guard, he had clearly suspected fishy and by Sakura's raised eyebrow, she to had seen something off about this test, they were very observational were those 2, always fighting out the underneath the underneath to everything, sometimes to the level that it could get annoying.
Sasuke was not so, as he was surprised to find that out, he tended to see things as they were told to him straight up. "I will set this timer for an hour and when I say start, this test will begin. Start!".
They all ran off in a similar direction, obviously trying to tell the others that this test was trick for us to do something. That test was gonna be interesting right from the start.
"Sasuke", Naruto loud whispered to the duck-haired boy, " I think there is a hidden meaning in this test".
"How so?", Sasuke had been bewildered by Naruto's statement.
"Have you ever seen a genin team with only 2 genin and the jonin?", Sasuke shook his head but saw Naruto's point.
"So what is the actual purpose of the test then?".
"It's teamwork", Sakura answered this time, "Kakashi-sensei wants us to work in a team, otherwise we wouldn't stand a snowflakes chance in hell against him, he's an elite jonin after all".
They discussed up a plan, a plan that surely wouldn't end well for me.
I was still standing there in the middle field of the training ground were the posts were, waiting for them to come at me, not in that sense, when a small horde of the genin charged in, it was obvious that they were all clones. It was easy to think that at least but imagine my surprise when one of the Naruto clones punches me square in the balls, not something that had happened for a while before that, possibly reaching back to my time as a genin. I was so distracted by the ball punch that I didn't realise a certain duckbutt throw some kunai pinning me to a tree, including my arms, which meant I couldn't perform any jutsu. I knew I was screwed at that point, not even an incredibly experienced jonin like myself would have thought that would happen. and anything else that they did was just insult to injury.
That insult came in the form of genjutsu, one which made me see many, many naked women, the blood coming out my nose was a signature of that, though you couldn't really see it through my many layers of masking, and besides, I was the perverted man's paradise, and perverted lesbian's paradise as well, so why not relish it while it lasted, oh yeah, genin test. By the time I had come out of the genjutsu, I had been unpinned from the tree and both the bells had been taken, when, they never told me.
"I honestly have no choice but to pass you, you looked underneath the underneath and you worked as a team to get the bells, rather effectively, as I didn't expect that plan at all, now you can all go back home while I have a report to hand in", oh that report was something to remember, let me tell you that.
Rather cop out idea if I'm honest but it's what I went with so please, if you don't like it and want to tell me so, keep it civil. I do not need flamers on this story.
But anyway, that was the chapter and as always, please feel free to give constructive criticism, there is a lot of room for improvement with me and it will help make this story better.
Sincerely, your friend, DaPika