Draco-
The Dark Lord had fallen only a few short hours ago. My parents were secluded in the corner of the hall, where a feast was in full swing. Potter had disappeared from the hall not too long ago, followed by Ginny, and I had since been sitting alone with an ominous, dark, empty feeling in my stomach. I was half way to deciding to follow, when Ginny returned to the hall, looking flustered and uncomfortable.
Ginny glanced around the hall and her gaze met mine. She blinked once, looking even more confused than she had a moment ago, and then turned to exit the hall again, a slight tilt of her head indicating that she wanted me to follow. I began to rise from the isolated Malfoy corner, but was stopped by a firm hand on my forearm.
"Where are you going, Draco? It isn't safe for one of our kind to wander about the castle alone right now. We're lucky we're even allowed to sit at the sidelines!" hissed my mother.
My mother looked distinctly worse for wear, which was only to be expected after the hours of battle she had just encountered. Her hair was falling around her face in limp strands, tear tracks marked her pale cheeks, and her eyes were red and empty looking. Her usually perfectly manicured nails were chipped and ragged, and the hand that held my arm looked as though it belonged to someone who had died weeks ago. I felt a tug in my stomach, somewhere near the dark, empty region, that felt somewhere between pity and shame. I jerked my arm out of her gasp, which was surprisingly less tight than it usually was.
"I'll be fine, Mother," I said quietly, turning to leave.
"You're chasing after that Blood Traitor," said my father suddenly, his voice low and cold.
"I- So what if I am?" I asked, suddenly tired of denying it. "I need to talk to her."
"You would endanger your own life, continue endangering your own life, for the opportunity to talk to a Blood Traitor little girl who was on the other side of this war and is the girlfriend of the boy who only a few hours ago killed our Lord?" Father demanded, his eyes glinting dangerously in his haggard, grey face.
"Yes," I replied simply. "I would."
"I see," he said, and he paused for a second, looking at me inscrutably with those cold, grey eyes that so many people had come to fear. "Well then do what you must."
"Wh-what?" I stuttered, caught off guard.
"You care for the girl. After everything that this world has gone through, who am I to tell you who you can and cannot care for? After everything I, I who am your father, I who should have protected you, after everything I have put you through, after everything you have survived… Who am I to tell you what to do anymore? I have not proved myself a good father. You must do what you wish. You must follow your own path, and not try to follow in mine because you fear me or those who I follow. You are not me, Draco. You are braver than I am by far, and I cannot and will not hold you back any longer. Go. Find her."
I stared at my father, completely nonplussed. In all of my years, I had never once admitted to him being wrong about anything, and here he sat, telling me that if I cared for a girl who he considered positively repulsive because of her social standing, I should follow her. Even my mother was staring at him with a perplexed expression.
"Oh, Lucius," she said finally, her voice trembling with suppressed emotion. "You did your best with what we had, you have always done your best for our family."
"I must disagree with you, Narcissa. I have not done what is best for our family for a very long time. If I ever get out of Azkaban, I will make this right. I will make our family great again," Father said, gazing at my mother, his eyes suddenly swimming with tears.
I turned away, embarrassed at this display of emotions from two of the people I considered to be completely emotionless, and left without another word.
Ginny was waiting outside the hall, in the shadow of the main staircase, where large piles of rubble had fallen during the battle. She looked pale, ill almost, and her eyes were bloodshot and watery. She pushed her knotted, tangled hair out of her eyes, and then froze as she saw me walking cautiously towards her.
"Draco," she said quietly, her voice breaking. "I thought you and your family would have left."
"McGonagall asked us to stay. We realise we'll all more than likely be going to Azkaban anyway, so my father saw little point in running. I think you could say we've given up," I said, shoving my hands in my pockets and shrugging, trying to seem nonchalant.
"You aren't fighting anymore?" asked Ginny, looking at me with a look of disbelief on her pale face.
"No. There's nothing to fight for any more," I replied.
"What were you fighting for anyway?" she questioned, sounding sceptical, almost like her old self.
"I… I don't know any more. I used to think it was for the 'purification of the Wizarding world', but… my views have changed a lot since then."
"What changed them?" asked Ginny, raising an eyebrow.
I stared at her, considering what I could tell her. I could lie, and tell her I had no idea what had changed my mind, or I could tell her the truth. I knew full well what had changed my mind about the Dark Lord's point of view on the Wizarding world, and I had a sneaking suspicion that she knew it as well, but it was one thing to think it and another to say it, especially when I knew what I wanted would never happen. Finally, I took a deep breath, and decided on what I was going to say.
"You changed them, Ginny," I said quietly, not quite meeting her eye. "I… I fell in love with you and… and what I was meant to be fighting for… it was different to what I actually ended up fighting for… does that make sense?"
"It makes sense, Draco," she said, smiling sadly at me, her eyes beginning to overflow with tears.
"What the hell is going on here?" demanded a voice from somewhere over my shoulder, and we jumped away from each other, turning to look at who the owner of the voice was.
"Harry," whispered Ginny, what little colour there was remaining in her cheeks fading away from them as she beheld the dishevelled appearance of the Boy Who Lived.
Just when one battle ended, another one seemed to reveal itself.
Ginny-
Harry stood there looking lost, hurt, confused- a whole mix of emotions displayed on his worn, grubby face, and each one sent knives into me.
"Harry, I can explain," I whispered, moving around Draco to get to Harry.
"Explain what, Gin?" he asked, staring from me to Draco, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion.
"I… I…"
"I can explain, Potter," said Draco curtly, pushing me behind him as he placed himself between Harry and I.
"You can explain, can you, Malfoy?" spat Harry, "You can explain why you're saying you're in love with my girlfriend?"
"She isn't your girlfriend, Potter. You broke up with her, she told me."
"She told you? When would she have told you this? During the annual Gryffindor-Slytherin tea party? I must have missed the memo this year, what with being off destroying Horcruxes!"
"Harry, it isn't what it looks like!" I begged, trying to make him understand- although understand what even I didn't know. How on earth was I going to explain that this was probably almost exactly what it looked like?
"I was told by the Dark Lord, almost a year ago, to make your girlfriend trust in me, confide in me, and fall in love with me, in an attempt to break you emotionally and thus make you vulnerable and give us an insider. I won't lie to you, Potter, I was obviously disgusted, but-"
"Oh yes, so obviously disgusted that you fell in love with Ginny! How very inconvenient I'm sure this little mission was for you," snarled Harry, his hand twitching as he tried to stop himself reaching for his wand.
"I was initially disgusted, yes, but as the year went on, I won't deny… I won't deny that things changed," said Draco, looking Harry in the eyes even though his face was going a pale pink colour.
"Things changed," mocked Harry. "Things changed so much that you decided to try and take my girlfriend for real, as opposed to just because of some bullshit order from Voldemort, is that right?"
"Potter, I am not lying to you," said Draco with sincerity.
"Ginny," said Harry suddenly, not looking away from Draco for more than a second, "What's going on? How do you feel about all this… this rubbish?"
I winced at the desperation in Harry's voice that he was trying so hard to cover up, and glanced from Draco to Harry again, wondering how I was going to say what needed to be said.
"Harry… I do love you, Harry," I began, trying not to notice as Draco turned slightly to look at me, "I really, honestly do, but the thing is… I've fallen in love with Draco too."
Harry blanched, his face going white and then very rapidly he turned red, his eyes blazing behind his glasses. I could physically see the hurt that was going through him, and with a glance at Draco I saw the confusion building inside of him too. Both of these boys loved me, and I was being so cruel to them.
"I'm sorry for this, Potter," said Draco in an undertone.
"Sorry!" said Harry, his voice trembling with supressed emotion, "You're sorry for making Ginny fall in love with you, and for falling in love with her? Oh yes, this is definitely something an apology can fix! All through that bloody hunt for the Horcruxes, the only thing that kept me going was the knowledge that if I could beat Voldemort, I could have a normal life with my friends and the girl I love, and I come back to Hogwarts to find that she's fallen in love with one of my enemies whilst I've been away trying to make the world a better place so that we could be together!"
"Yes, I'm sure you only saved us all from the Dark Lord so you could be with Ginny," retorted Draco, his face becoming stony.
"Well, it was certainly one of the reasons!" snapped Harry, gritting his teeth in frustration and anger.
The two stared at each other, each of them mirroring the dislike they felt for one another, a dislike as close to hatred as it could possibly get, which seemed to roll off of them in waves. Finally, Draco sighed, and dropped his gaze.
"Look, Potter. This won't get us anywhere. We need to talk about this without Ginny here. Neither of us can think straight when she's around, and you know it," he said, sounding reserved.
"You think it's really a good idea for me to leave?" I asked angrily.
"I think we both have a reasonable amount of self-control, Ginny," Draco said, glancing up at me and smirking. "I'm sure your absence won't be the determining factor in whether or not we end up killing each other."
"Go back to Ron and Hermione, Gin," said Harry, trying to sound calm despite the undertones of anger. "Your family needs you."
"Right," I said, glaring at them. "Don't either of you act too much like idiots."
I turned from them and, pushing past Harry, stalked into the Great Hall to sit with my family.
"You feeling alright, Gin?" asked Hermione as I sat down.
"Not even remotely close, Hermione," I said, leaning against her shoulder, suddenly more exhausted than I'd been in months.
Draco-
"What the hell are you playing at, Malfoy?" Potter spat out angrily.
"Just hear me out, Potter," I said resignedly.
"I'll hear you out, Malfoy," Potter agreed, "But you say one thing I don't like, and I swear-"
"I know, I know, trust me, I'm fully aware of what you'll do," I said. "Look. I love Ginny. I won't deny that, and you must know how hard it is for me to admit it, so it must be true, because if it weren't, I wouldn't even have bothered saying it. The thing I'm trying to say is, I know I'm not right for her. I don't deserve to be with her. She's yours, Potter, no point denying that any more than there is denying that I'm in love with her."
"You- what?" Potter asked, sounding stunned. "You aren't even going to try and fight?"
"What's the point?" I shrugged, "I know when I'm beaten. I know when there's no point in fighting any more."
"But… how is Ginny going to feel about all this?" asked Potter, suddenly sounding unsure.
"Are you kidding? She'll have chosen you anyway, even if we were both fighting for her. Let's just make this easier for her. I've been thinking it through. I have an idea of what to do."
"What to… do?" asked Potter.
"A memory charm," I said quietly, hating myself for even considering it. "We wipe out her memories of our relationship together, and she goes back to being all yours."
"A memory charm?" said Potter, sounding disgusted. "You're seriously suggesting we modify Ginny's memory so she doesn't remember any of this? Do you have any idea how vile that is?"
"If you have a better idea to make her happy, do tell," I said exasperatedly. "She won't be happy with just one of us, and she can't exactly be with both of us. We both know she's meant to be with you, so just do the right thing and make it easier for her."
"How the hell is this the right thing, Malfoy?" demanded Potter.
"You really don't understand, do you? Ginny Weasley is yours. I was never supposed to develop feelings for her, I was only ever supposed to use her for my own gain and the gain of the Dark Lord. She was never mine, but I stole her from you, and now, I'm giving you the chance to have her back, the same Ginny who was around when you left, not a confused, torn Ginny who loves your enemy. Don't you understand what I'm trying to do?"
"I understand," said Potter, "I just don't agree with it. I refuse to modify her memory. She'll choose me whatever happens, and then you'll just be a regret. Everyone has regrets, Malfoy, and you're the biggest one in a lot of people's lives. From now on, you leave her alone. You leave all of us alone. Go back to your Manor and prepare for life in Azkaban."
"Potter-"
"No. I'm done here. Go home, Malfoy."
Potter turned and walked away, his hand securely on his wand as he walked, clearly anticipating an attack. I didn't move. I didn't reach for my wand. I wasn't going to attack him. I was going to do what I'd decided to do when I walked out of the hall and saw Ginny standing under the staircase looking broken.
Ginny didn't deserve what she'd been put through. What I'd put her through. And now, on top of losing her brother, Potter was going to try and make her choose between me or him. Part of me wanted her to choose me, but the rest knew full well that she was always going to choose him.
I watched as he walked out into the grounds, Ginny in tow, and, casting a Disillusionment charm on myself, I quietly followed. They walked down the front steps, dodging the debris that littered them as they went, and then walked slightly away from the castle, heading towards the lake. Although I followed at a distance, I made sure I was close enough to hear what they were saying. Finally, they stopped under a large tree by the lake edge, and Potter turned to face Ginny.
"Gin, I won't pretend that what's happened hasn't hurt me… but I think you need to make a choice," Potter started.
"Make a choice?" asked Ginny, her voice sounding steely.
"I know how this sounds, what with everything that's gone on, but I need to know. It's me or Malfoy, Gin. You know that, don't you?"
"You're making me choose? Now?" asked Ginny, sounding furious.
"Ginny, I know what it sounds like, but yes, you need to choose between us now," said Potter, trying to sound calm.
"Fine, I'll choose," said Ginny. "It seems quite obvious to me who I should choose."
"It seems obvious to me too, but I just need to hear you say it," said Potter, his cocky arrogance practically written across his face.
"I choose Ma-"
"Obliviate," I whispered, directing the spell directly at her, making her fall silent.
"Ginny?" asked Potter sounding apprehensive and shocked.
"Harry?" she replied, her voice sounding weak.
"Ginny, what's wrong? What's going on?" asked Potter.
I watched them as Ginny suddenly sagged forwards and fell, unconscious, into Potter's arms.
"Ginny!"
"She'll be fine, Potter," I said quietly, removing the Disillusionment charm and stepping forwards.
"What have you done?" shouted Potter, trying to reach his wand without dropping Ginny.
"Giving her happiness. She'll wake up soon. She won't remember anything about our relationship. She'll be all yours," I explained, my voice sounding cold, although I knew I was close to breaking point.
"How could you?!" shouted Potter furiously.
"She was about to choose me, Potter," I said, not moving my eyes from her slumbering body. "You heard her as well as I did. She was about to choose me. That couldn't happen. That wouldn't have made her happy. Now she'll always choose you. You're welcome."
"Welcome!" shrieked Potter.
I turned and began to walk away, ignoring the furious shouts behind me as Potter continued to spout expletives at my back. I'd done the right thing. I knew I had. But I felt like absolute rubbish because of it.
A/N:
Hey guys. I don't think this is my best chapter, but this is the penultimate one- if some of you are wondering, that means the one after this will be the last chapter in the story. Let me know what you think about Draco's decision in the end.
Thank you
Love,
Beccari
xxx