"Skitch, how did we get here?" 28 chapters, over four thousand reviews and well over 150,000 hits for this little slashfic. We've got a few chapters left to go still; and still some big things to happen for our boys, so fasten your condoms…er, seatbelts!!
Nothing has changed in the last week with regard to Twilight's ownership; that is to say, it still isn't mine.
-o-
Edward
Jasper's parting words to me take me by surprise, no question. Being completely absorbed with his meeting with my parents, I haven't even considered meeting his. Immediate concern about what they must think of me and my treatment of their son, seizes me, and by the time I realize Jasper has even pulled away, he's down the street and turning the corner.
Shithead, I think to myself. That's just fucking cruel. Twenty minutes later, though, my phone rings and I answer it to hear his gentle laugh on the line. He apologizes for the prank and I magnanimously forgive him; and then he tries to allay my concerns by telling me that his own mom's wisdom made him realize that we should be together. "They'll love you," he assures me, "because I do." Outwardly, I agree, although on the inside, I'm not convinced.
Over the next week or two, we talk on the phone every day, usually more than once; and we see each other at least a couple of times a week, either at his apartment or at mine. I am overjoyed every time I hear his voice, even though some of the conversations we have to have are difficult, sometimes uncomfortable.
For one thing, we agree that we should both get tested for HIV and other sexually-transmitted infections. This is, I admit, a greater issue for me because of the sheer numbers of men I've been with casually; despite always using a condom, I have not always…okay, I've almost never had any kind of picture of their sexual history, nor they of mine. I get tested every six months, and I know Jasper does too, despite his lower "number". He and I are entering a monogamous relationship now, and to protect each other, this is what we have to do. Our tests, fortunately come back clean; and we make a date with each other to go have it done again in six months.
Though I sometimes find it frustrating, I don't push when it comes to resuming our intimate relationship. I know Jasper is as much a sexual being as I am – when he is ready, he'll let me know. In the meantime, we do make out a lot; and I allow myself some extra time when I'm showering in the morning, to relieve that tension.
The second week, I ask if I may take him out on a date Saturday night, and he willingly agrees. As the arrangements are up to me, I give a great deal of thought to what we should do on our date. Taking him back to Anthony's is simply out of the question – I don't know if he'll ever want to go there again, and honestly I feel the same. I rack my brain for something romantic; but, being sorely out of practice in the area of romance, I can think of nothing more original than a trip up the Space Needle, followed by a quiet dinner. I don't tell him what I've planned, only letting him know the appropriate attire.
Saturday comes, and the day is cool, but surprisingly clear, especially for March. I take this as a good sign. I have planned for us to ascend the Space Needle between six-thirty and seven p.m.; seeing the sun gives me hope that maybe we'll catch the sunset from the observation deck. I am terribly nervous all day long, second-guessing my plans. I hope Jasper won't think it's too great a cliché.
At 5:45, he arrives at my door. He's wearing a black cashmere V-neck sweater and deep grey dress pants. His wheat-colored curls frame his beautiful face, and his lips glisten as though he has just moistened them with his tongue. In other words, he is absolutely fucking gorgeous.
"Wow," I breathe as he smiles at me. "You look miraculous."
His dimples deepen as his grin grows wider. He steps closer, hooking his arm around my waist and pulling me to him. After placing a soft kiss on my lips, he says, "You look pretty splendid yourself, beautiful."
I don't argue, because I know it's true. I'm wearing a new pair of black pinstriped pants and the matching suit jacket, and under it, a soft white dress shirt. My bronze locks, normally messy, are…well, less messy, I guess. I have styled my hair back off my face a bit; Jasper apparently approves because his free hand goes straight to my hair as he speaks, ghosting over it. I wrap my arms around him, holding him close. It's been several days since we saw each other and I feel the need to reconnect. I have promised myself to never again take for granted his presence in my life, or our time together.
After a few moments we part; I invite him to step into the living room until I'm ready to leave. I'll be driving, since he still doesn't know where we're going. Good-naturedly, he tries to pry the information out of me, but I refuse. "Nope," I reply, "you're just going to have to be patient."
He gives me an exaggerated sigh, and sits on the couch while he waits. He flips through a photo album I've left out on the coffee table. It's one from my early years, and he chuckles at the pictures of me as a baby. "Look at the chunky legs!" he laughs, pointing at my first birthday picture. It goes beyond baby fat – I am positively rotund.
I clear my throat pointedly, saying, "Okay, thanks for that little trip down Memory Lane. I think it's time to go."
He's still grinning as we drive west towards the Space Needle. I decide to use the venue's valet parking service, handing over the keys to my precious Volvo as we get out. Jasper looks amused and a little surprised as I take his hand, guiding him to the front doors. "I haven't been here since grade school," he smiles. "Before I moved back I was thinking that once I got settled, I'd have to take a trip up again."
I pay the admission, and we step onto the elevator. We are the only two on the elevator, aside from the Space Needle employee. "So it's not too cheesy and touristy?" I ask apprehensively as we begin our ascent.
"No!" he affirms, slipping his arm around my shoulder and kissing me chastely. He whispers in my ear, "It's romantic."
I'm hugely relieved and gratified, and I give him a squeeze back; then grab his hand as he retrieves it from my shoulders. The woman operating the elevator catches my eye and grins at us, then discreetly looks away, giving us our privacy.
On the observation deck, we clasp hands and look out over the city. The sun has managed to stay out throughout the day, and my hope for a sunset view seems assured now. There are banks of clouds around the western horizon, becoming deep purple as the sun sinks behind them; the sky streaked with pink, orange and mauve. It's perfect, everything I could have asked for.
Jasper stands behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder and wrapping his arms around my waist. He whispers, "So beautiful."
I nod. "I was hoping we'd get to see the sunset tonight."
"Hmm? Oh, yeah," he replies. "The sunset is nice too."
I smile broadly as he places a warm kiss on my neck, and heave a sigh of contentment. I could stay here forever, wrapped in my angel's arms, watching the city light up as dusk settles. We have reservations, though; and I'm hoping my restaurant choice is as big a hit.
Forty-five minutes later, we are seated at Il Bistro, an Italian restaurant in Pike Place. It is one of the most romantic restaurants in this part of town; and remembering the lasagna Jasper made when I got back from Vancouver, I know he loves Italian food. The ambiance of the restaurant is perfect, with low lighting and soft music. I have managed to snag us a table for two tucked away in a private corner; a candle flickers in a frosted holder on one side of the table. We each have a glass of red, and having just given the server our orders, our hands are clasped across the table.
Jasper's fingertips trace the veins on the backs of my hands as he tells me about the friend he has made recently. Jack Charles – I know who he is, though I've never spoken to him – and his rather painful situation, being in love with his straight best friend, obviously weighs on Jasper's mind. He relates to me several of the conversations he's had with Jack, and I realize that I owe Jack a great deal. The advice and opinions he has shared with Jasper about our situation, have been quite open and generous, considering the reputation I've had in Seattle. Like Jasper, I find myself wishing there was something I could do to help Jack.
Over our entrees – lasagna for me, ravioli for Jasper – I tell him about having turned down the job in Italy. He chides me gently for having let go a job that could potentially have brought me some important overseas exposure; but I tell him that my priorities have changed. I still love my work, and I know travel will continue to be a part of it. But my number one commitment is here in Seattle, and any time I go overseas, I want my partner there with me. Jasper fairly beams at my use of the word partner, as he did when I used it to my parents. He reaches across the table to caress my face, gently stroking my cheekbone with his thumb.
Our conversation flows in a way it never could have before our breakup. With no topic off-limits, it feels natural and easy and right. By the time we find ourselves standing on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, the large red neon clock that overlooks the Market reads ten-thirty p.m. Jasper's blonde curls shine with the red glow as I lean towards him for a quick kiss.
"Well, this ends the dinner portion of this evening's festivities," I grin. "But the night is still young…where may I take you now?"
He steps in close and wraps one arm around my waist; with the other hand he takes my hand and holds it to his chest. "I know this great little place we could go dancing…it's not all that well-known, but the music is great…"
"Yeah?" I reply. "Well, just tell me where, angel, and I'll go anywhere you like."
Slowly, he brings his lips close to my ear, and whispers, "Your living room."
My head whips around to meet his eyes, unsure I heard him correctly. He is staring at me with an intensity that makes my cock fucking jump. "My…my living room?" I repeat.
He nods slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. The hand that rests on my back slides gradually down, crossing the waistband of my pants until it comes to rest on my bottom. He squeezes gently, and I can't help the sharp intake of breath that follows. I repeat slowly, "I'll go anywhere you like."
I slip out of the arm that encircles my waist, but keep his hand in mine as I lead us back to the Market parking garage. Driving back, I don't want to rush, don't want him to think that the sex is the only thing that matters to me. As badly as I have screwed up in the past, I am determined to let him know how much he means to me, how precious he is.
Back in my apartment, I take his coat, hanging it in the closet, and then excuse myself to go to my bedroom where I hang up my own suit jacket. When I return to the living room, he is dialing up a song on my iPod where it sits in the stereo dock. Having found what he's looking for, he pushes play, and steps to meet me in the middle of the room.
The song begins, and I recognize the sweet, dulcet voice of Dallas Green, in the slow, sensual "As Much As I Ever Could". Jasper's hand quickly finds my waist again, this time wrapping both arms around me and pulling me close. My arms loop over his neck, and we sway together to the sweetly sensual music.
lost at sea
my heart beat was growing weak
hoping you'd hear my plea
and come save my life
as the storm grew fierce
and danger was certainly near
i knew there was nothing to fear
bring me your love tonight
His lips brush against mine softly, one, twice; then they slowly travel along my jawline to the sensitive spot under my ear. I shiver at his sensual touch, and he continues down my neck.
bring me your love tonight
i know I am not where I belong
so shine a light and guide me back home
Our hips still sway as his lips continue their travels across my throat, and I can feel the unmistakable evidence of his arousal, pressing against the soft fabric of his pants. When his lips reach the hollow at the base of my throat, I lean my head back, gently shifting my hips forward, pressing a bit harder into his. He hums before his tongue dips into the hollow.
"I want you, beautiful," he whispers, his voice husky. "I want to make love to you – tonight."
"I want you, too," I reply gently. "I love you, and I want to show you, again and again."
"Show me," he moans.
Slipping out of his arms, I take both of his hands in mine, backing away. He follows me, his eyes never leaving mine as I lead him to the bedroom. When we stand at the end of the bed, my hands slide underneath the bottom of his sweater, my fingers gliding up over his abs and pecs before I slip the sweater over his head. His arms still extended over his head, I trace my fingers back down them, over his shoulders and draw an outline around his nipple. He shivers and the delicate flesh puckers and hardens beneath my fingertips. I lower my mouth and follow the same path around the pink bud with my tongue, then gently nibble. He moans softly and his hands thread themselves into my hair, gently holding my face to his chest, bidding me not to cease my attentions.
With his other hand, he undoes my shirt, one button at a time, until his finger hooks into the waistband of my pants. I pull the shirt tails out and he slides the shirt off my shoulders; it joins his sweater on the floor. Now it is his turn to lightly glide his fingers over my shoulders, chest and stomach, relearning every inch of my skin. He gently pulls his chest from my mouth, and leans to kiss me, our bare chests pressing against each other. There is infinite passion in our kiss; but it is slow and unhurried – we are taking our time, doing this the right way – with real emotion behind it.
As our tongues move together, my hands go to his belt, undoing it; his button and zipper follow. When his pants fall to the floor, the insanely sexy boxer briefs from my dream are there. He looks even better in them than my dream gave him credit for, his erection straining against the soft fabric. I stroke his hard length through the fabric and his eyes close, his head tipping back and his lips parting with the exquisite sensation.
"May I suck you, angel?" I whisper to him, and he pulls my face to his, plunging his tongue deep into my mouth for several moments before answering.
"Please do," he answers hoarsely, and I am immediately on my knees before him. Before divesting him of his briefs, I nudge his shaft and sac with my nose, mouth and tongue; letting him feel my hot breath through the fabric. Finally I slide the briefs down over his beautifully round ass, squeezing each firm globe, before pushing down the front as well. His cock is so fucking beautiful as it springs free, the briefs falling to the floor. I have to pause for a moment to just take in the sight before me, before my tongue is drawn to it.
First I taste the drop of pre-cum glistening on the tip. It is salty and sweet and just him. Then I slide my tongue around the base of the glans, over the smooth, taut skin, dipping into the small V of the frenulum. My hands rest on his hips, and I feel him tremble beneath my touch. He makes small, soft gasps when I cross a particularly sensitive spot, and his hands again stroke my hair, teasing it back into its usual messy state.
After teasing the sensitive skin of the head for a few moments, I lick my lips to moisten them. Keeping my mouth close together to increase the sensation, I push his head past my lips, into my mouth. He groans, and the muscles in his ass flex as his hips gravitate towards me ever so slightly. Slow and calculating, my mouth continues the journey along his shaft, towards his pubic bone. The trembling of his body increases as I near my destination. I raise my eyes to look at him; but like the first time I did this, I'm unable to see his face – his head has fallen back as he focuses on the sensations. I close my eyes again as my lips nestle against his pubic hair; his cock is as far down my throat as I can take it. I suck hard for just an instant, then release and slide back up his cock until I again have just the hard purple head in my mouth.
Then I begin a slow rhythm of attack and retreat, taking him down my throat again and again, swallowing the saliva that pools at the thought of him filling my mouth with his hot semen. His hands move from my hair to my face, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs as his fingers extend under my jaw. His hips start to thrust against me, rising to meet my mouth, his ass flexing and releasing with each thrust. He is panting and moaning, his vocalizations rising as his release nears.
At last he gives one final thrust towards me, and then his body stiffens, holding completely still, save for the spasms of his cock. I lift my eyes to him again, and he is looking down at me now, his face etched in a mixture of pain and pleasure as he groans loudly, sending his load spurting down my throat. I moan at the feel and taste of his hot cum in my mouth – it feels like I've waited fucking forever for this.
As if swallowing his jizz isn't reward enough, when he has come down from his orgasmic high, he gasps, "God, you're so fucking beautiful when you suck my cock." He takes my hands, pulling me to my feet, and wraps one arm around my waist, the other circling the back of my neck. He attacks my mouth with his, no longer slow and sweet; our tongues now are frantic and desperate. I finally pull away, my lips feeling swollen and my cock in dire need of attention.
Realizing this, Jasper immediately removes my pants, tossing them to the side; my briefs follow after them. He bids me to lie on my back on the bed, and when I am propped up on pillows, he goes down on me, groaning, "Fuck, it's been too long." His warm, wet mouth is such a beautiful place to be, and my whole body sings as he works his talented tongue on me. He is so voracious, so enthusiastic in his attentions to my cock, that it is mere moments before I feel the sensation building, threatening to overload. I'm ready to fill his mouth with my hot, satiny cum.
I place my hands on his head, asking him to slow down. "Please…Kas…I'm too close. Uhh, god…" I whimper.
"Let me do this," he begs. "Then we'll both last longer next round."
"Ungh," I moan, sinking back onto the pillows. He returns to sucking and milking my cock, and in less than a minute, my whole body tenses, tighter and tighter…and then my senses are flung in a thousand directions at once. "Uh, Kassss…god…fuck…yeah!!" I shout, and my cock pulses, sending spates of jizz down his throat. He swallows every drop as I writhe in my release. When my racing heartbeat begins to slow and my breathing calms, he releases my cock and climbs up to lie with me. "Thank you," I whisper; and he smiles broadly, drawing my face to his and kissing me deeply.
He lies on his back beside me and I turn to him, resting my head on his chest. He wraps his arms around me, stroking my hair gently, kissing the top of my head as we lay quietly for a few moments. He murmurs, "I love you so much." I lift my face to his to kiss him again, and this time our kiss is long, slow, and languorous. It builds as our tongues probe more deeply, more insistently; he rolls to his side so that we are facing each other directly. Our hips are in line and he presses his into mine, swiveling them slightly, trapping our somewhat-softened cocks between us. We each moan a bit at the renewed contact between our most intimate places.
Feeling him move together with me, the length of our bodies pressed against each other, is the most exquisitely beautiful sensation of my life. He is here, with me, in our bed. I am so happy to have him here that I feel as though my heart will burst. The balloon is there – but it is full to overflowing.
Jasper's hand comes to my chest; he gently pinches and tweaks my nipples as our kissing escalates from passionate to frenzied, each of us seeking more and more of the other. My cock is hardening again; and his is as well, from what I can feel pressing against my bare thigh. His hand slides from my chest to my ass, cupping, squeezing and slipping between my legs to gently massage the prostate from the outside. He releases my lips; moving to my neck, he kisses and licks his way down. When he reaches the front of my shoulder, he sucks – hard – and I know he is placing his mark on me, branding me as being for him alone.
Between the action of Jasper's fingers, and his lips and tongue on me, my cock is again throbbing with desire for him. I push my hips against his so he can feel how hot he's making me; and his cock is just as fucking hard as mine is.
"Will you fuck me, Kas?" I groan desperately, expecting him to immediately roll me onto my back; but instead he shakes his head.
"No," he replies.
"What?" I gasp, disbelieving.
"No," he repeats, and he rolls onto his back, lifting his knees and planting his feet on the soles of the bed. He takes my hand, tugging me towards him. I move over him, holding myself above him, and he takes my hands in his face. "The night we got back together, you told me you ached for me. I've ached for you too, beautiful. I want you…I need you…to fuck me. I need you to possess me and make me yours again."
His words grip my heart and it stutters in my chest. I kiss him in acquiescence, even though I know the truth: when I'm inside him, he will be the one who possesses me. I will tell him of this knowledge soon…
…but not tonight. Because tonight, and for the rest of my life, I am going to do anything in my power to give my angel what he needs.
I reach for the condoms and lube, which are now inside my night table drawer instead of on top of it (the photos of Jasper having taken their place). I put some lube first on my fingers and gently apply some to his ass, greasing the surrounding area well and then sliding two fingers past his smooth entrance. He groans, biting his bottom lip as I slide in and out a few times, stretching and opening him in preparation. Then I rip open one of the foil packets, unroll the condom onto myself and spread a generous amount of lube over the rubber as well.
I lift his legs, placing his feet on my chest so that he is doubled over and spread wide for me. Holding the base of my cock in one hand, I place the head against the opening of his tight hole, and then I stop. He is watching me intently, waiting for the moment of penetration; but I have to ask him before I do. I give him a smile, which he returns, certainly knowing what I'm going to ask.
"Is this okay?" I murmur, and he nods.
"Yes," he breathes. "Please, Edward."
Now that I have his permission, I don't waste another second apart from him. I press into him, slowly and steadily; first breaching his outer resistance, then sliding all the way in. His mouth forms a small, silent "o"; his eyes remain locked on mine until my entire length is engulfed by him. Then they flutter closed, his face relaxing into a look of utter bliss, like an addict who has just started to feel the effect of his own personal poison. I feel much the same way – being inside him again, feeling him tight and hot around me, is at once blissful relief and sweet torment.
I retreat most of the way, then slowly slide back in, repeating this several times until I'm sure he has completely adjusted to me. Removing his feet from my chest, I wrap his legs around my back. He pulls me close, with his legs and his hands, my chest falling to meet his. He moans in my ear. "Uhhh, beautiful…god, you feel so fucking good."
Instead of answering, I start to thrust in and out, moving relatively slowly but pushing as deeply into him as I can. Always very vocal during sex, he groans each time I sink into him. Over and over, his hips rise to meet my thrusts. Our spiritual connection becomes more fully enmeshed as we make love. Never having fully understood the capacity of human love before Jasper, I couldn't imagine how deeply and utterly complete I feel with him; how much sweeter it is to make love to this man, than it is to fuck a thousand others. I adore him. He is my whole life now.
Beads of sweat roll off us as we press and twine with each other, desperate for as much physical contact as possible. I can feel his hard length against my stomach each time I thrust. I am getting close to my orgasm, and I want to be certain he's there with me. I reach down and grasp his cock; it is wet from our sweat. I glide my thumb over the head a few times and he gasps, his body trembling. "Don't…Edward…I'm…so close," he pants.
"I am too," I gasp. "Come when you're ready, angel; I'll be right behind you." A few more thrusts, a few strokes of his cock, and his body tenses. His ass clenches around me, and his hips lift nearly off the bed.
"Ungh," he moans loudly, "beautiful…god…yeah!" His cock twitches and throbs in my hand as he shoots another load of silky white cum all over his stomach and chest. His ass spasms, and I give one last deep, hard thrust, and then hold myself there, pushing in as deep as I can, pulling his hips against me. I teeter on the verge of sanity for an instant, then I explode, knowing that the broken pieces of me will be put back together by him when I come down.
"Fuck, Kas…fuuuuuck…," I shout as my orgasm racks my body. "I love you…ah!...I love you." He reaches up to my nipple, flicking it with his finger as his body milks the last bit of cum from me.
When we are both completely satiated, I collapse onto his chest, feeling whole, happy and fucking spent. I remain there for a few moments, and then reach for a couple of clean towels under my night table. Forcing myself to stand, I stagger to the bathroom and run one of the towels under warm water in the sink. I bring it back to Jasper and carefully clean off his stomach, and then take care of the excess lube still on his bottom. I toss the towel into my laundry hamper and then go back to the bathroom and perform the same task on myself.
Finally, I am back in bed with him. This time he is the one to lie his head on my shoulder as I hold him close to me. We should both be nodding off in no time; instead we remain awake for a long time, stroking each other's faces, exchanging soft kisses and sweet, murmured endearments.
When we do both fall asleep, it is with the knowledge and the promise that, as much as it is within our power, we will never be apart again. Even when we're at our own apartments, even if I'm travelling; I love this man, and I never wish to be parted from him again.
-o-
We enjoy warmth because we have been cold.
We appreciate light because we have been in darkness.
By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.
-David Weatherford
-o-
I'm happy. Very, very happy for my boys (yeah, men, I know). As I see it, we have approximately four chapters left; and that will include a Jack outtake.
Thanks to noonie93, a reader who sent me the David Weatherford quote ages ago, in the early heartfail chapters. I promised you I'd use it. :)
The song from this chapter, "More Than I Ever Could," is by City and Colour. You can find it on the blog, starfish422(dot)blogspot(dot)com. Dallas Green pwns me right now. Do you have a song that reminds you of Over The Top? Would you be so kind as to pass it along in a review? I am compiling a playlist of the songs that have been used in the story as well as the ones that have inspired me; I would love to hear your contributions.