A/N: The response to the last chapter was amazing :) Thank you all so much for your wonderful reviews! I'm really thrilled I was able to do that episode some justice, as key as it is to Emma's emotional state.

Emlovesyouu was phenomenal getting this chapter readable. As before, I don't own the show, characters, plot, settings, dialog, or lyrics. Any resemblance to any real people, places, or events is entirely coincidental.

Enjoy!

Chapter 9

And every time I've held a rose
It seems I only felt the thorns

3 November 2014

As it turned out, driving through the tears led to less-than-desirable outcomes. Emma blinked her way back to consciousness before shaking her head to clear the fuzziness. The jackhammer that started blasting away at the base of her skull immediately informed her that she'd made a mistake. She groaned, feebly massaging the spot where her neck and skull met in a futile attempt to get the pounding to stop.

Smacking her lips, she realized how dry her mouth was. When she finally opened her eyes, the amount of daylight and position of the sun – based on which point of her vision caused the most pain behind her eyeballs when she turned her head – told her that she'd been unconscious for the better part of an entire day. When her vision allowed for her to look around, a wave of pain swept through her system. Her Bug's front bumper was dented around a tree in the forest surrounding Storybrooke. She must have run into it the previous day when the tears got to be too much for her to see through, driving almost blindly out of town in an attempt to escape. Emma barely held her gorge, drawing on years of experience taking head bumps as she chased down fleeing criminals.

With the pain came clarity. Memories of the previous day flooded back. Mary Margaret's fear. The Snow Queen's relentless goading. Her magic causing sheer destruction and panic. The outrage.

The fear.

Monster.

Her head swam at the thought of her only friends and family in this or any other world thinking of her that way.

She was an outsider, a threat. In her semi-delirious state, every memory of the Snow Queen's words rang true. Her parents and the townspeople wanted her around, needed her around, not only to deal with any magical threat but also to be the light magical counterpoint to Regina if she should ever slip up and turn back into the Evil Queen. She was useful, but they also feared her.

With a deep breath, Emma evaluated her options. If she went back to Storybrooke, there was a chance someone else could get hurt, and seriously. If she left town, there was a chance she might never come back. Regina, as angry as she'd been lately, might find a way to change the protection spell to keep her out.

"Either way I lose," she muttered. Looking around for her cell phone, she found it and powered up the device. Almost at once it beeped, indicating receipt of a voice mail message. Her eyes narrowed, but Emma punched the icon and listened. What she heard sent shivers up and down her spine.

"That was quite an interesting display you put on today. I hope your father makes a speedy recovery from that magical discharge of yours, dearie. You looked fairly distraught as you left, so I thought I'd call and offer you a deal: I have a way of taking your magic away from you. You would be normal, not a danger to anyone you care about. All you have to do is meet me at the Apprentice's Mansion on the lake shore at sundown tomorrow and all your worries will be gone. Until then, Miss Swan."

As Emma thumbed the voice mail app closed, she couldn't shake the sensation of an icy black claw reaching for her heart. What Gold was offering was a way out of her current predicament, but nothing that came from the man ever benefitted anyone more than it did him. Whatever he wanted with her magic boded no good for anyone.

Bringing up her contacts, she started dialing Hook. With the way he'd chased Gold across oceans, worlds, and centuries, he would have to have some insight into the offer.

The phone rang three times, but as she was preparing to leave a message, it cut to a muffled conversation.

"So, let me get this straight: you have a hat that can take Emma's magic away?"

"Not exactly, pirate. The hat will absorb the Savior's magic, and the Savior along with it. She'll get what she wants: a family in no more danger from her; and I will get what I want: an unimaginable amount of magical power drawn into the one device that can cleave me from the dagger."

She cut the call off with shaking fingers. It wasn't exactly shocking that Gold's plan would end in her demise, but what took her by surprise was Hook's apparent knowledge. If Hook was involved in helping Gold's scheme, she didn't have anyone left to trust.

Stepping out of her car, Emma's wobbly knees forced her to lean against the machine. She stretched her right leg out behind her, forcing weight on it to make the muscles remember their jobs.

"Mom?" a familiar voice called behind her.

She stiffened, unwilling to turn around and potentially endanger her son. "Henry, what are you doing here?"

"I've been out all night looking for you. Everyone has," he insisted.

That made her turn around. He walked toward her through the trees, hunched over in his jacket, looking like he'd been to hell and back. The dark circles under his eyes proved he was telling the truth about being out all night. The vehemence in his voice gave her the strangest sensation that her heart was warming at the same time it was breaking. She wanted nothing more than to take him into her arms and believe that everything was going to be all right, but after the destruction from the previous day, she just couldn't risk it. "I told them all to stay away. I can't control my powers right now. Listen, don't worry about me. I'm gonna find a way to fix this, but until I do... You've got to go."

With a slow, purposeful stride that never wavered, Henry walked through the leaf litter toward her, shaking his head in frustration. "No. You always think that pulling away from people will fix your problems, but it never does. I can help you."

"Henry, just wait. I…" she tried to explain, but when she looked down at her hands to confirm the magic was still arcing across her fingers like the world's biggest static electricity shock, she missed him moving toward her. Of course he didn't listen.

He reached out to take her hands trying to show her he wasn't afraid of her powers. When their skin made contact, another massive energy pulse, almost identical to the one that blasted a hole through cinder blocks, threw Henry back like a rag doll. He landed awkwardly on a fern, but that was about all that could be said for his landing. With a painful groan, he gave several awkward attempts to roll over, getting to a position where he could stand.

"Henry!" Emma shouted his name as she ran over to him. "Henry, are you okay? You okay?" She reached out to pull him up, only to remember exactly how he got where he was. With a grimace, she pulled her fisted hands back to her chest, unwilling to take any more chances.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm fine," he stammered.

With a gasp, Emma watched as he reached behind his head and brought his hand back stained with red. "Is that a cut? Henry, what did I do?"

"I-it's fine. I'm okay," he tried to reassure, getting to his feet and resuming his march to her.

She had to hand it to the kid: he'd truly inherited her stubbornness. Despite the injury that SHE had given him, he was determined to do what he could to save her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Mom," he almost pleaded, coming closer.

"Stop! Please, don't come any closer. I love you, kid, but you've got to go," she begged. When he moved toward her once more, she again screamed at him to go as another pulse shot out, this time much weaker. It passed around him without harm.

Between the pulses, the imploring, and the shouting, he finally listened. Henry ran off into the woods. Away from her. Ironic that when she looked at her hands again, the arcing, glowing magical sparks were gone.

She'd hurt her son. Caused him pain and left him bleeding. Her magic. In the span of twenty-four hours, Emma's mother had blocked her baby brother from her and she'd injured both her father and son with magical accidents.

She really, truly, was a monster.

Then she heard the one voice she most didn't want to hear in that moment. "I know exactly how you feel... Seeing the fear in his eyes."

Emma fired a pulse of magic as she turned around, but her aim was so far off and her emotions were so out of whack that it didn't go anywhere near Ingrid.

She smirked. "You are out of control. But, Emma, you're not going to hurt me. Nor should you. I'm on your side.

"Just leave me the hell alone," Emma growled back, far too upset to form any other words.

"You can run, but it won't help. The only way this ends is you embracing who you are," taunted Ingrid.

"If it means hurting people I love, no, thanks," Emma shot back, storming off into the woods.

With her car broken, Emma did the only thing she could: started walking through the forest. As she trudged, she went over her options. Ingrid wanted her for some ungodly weird family thing. Gold wanted to take her magic and kill her for it. Regina probably wanted to kill her. Her family was terrified of her, and after hurting Henry, might be after her as well.

Leaving Storybrooke was out of the question thanks to both magic and a giant wall of ice. Going back to town was out of the question if she wanted to avoid injuring innocent people.

As she was running through her possible choices, Emma's feet led her to a clearing in the woods. Looking up, she saw her refuge spread out and wondered why she hadn't thought of it before.

The discovery of her new home sowed the seeds of a plan in her mind. Dark and quiet, they were there, buried, waiting for the right moment to germinate.

"You'd think a big yellow driving machine would be easier to find," Elsa observed, following the search party back into the loft.

"Perhaps she doesn't want to be found, since, you know, that's what she bloody told us," Hook retorted. His tone belied his blossoming hope. If Emma hid herself well enough, then neither the Crocodile nor the Snow Queen could use her for their plans. Her tendency to run and hide when things got harsh might actually save her.

"Well, the good news is thanks to the ice wall, Emma can't leave town," David declared, ever the optimist.

"The longer she isolates herself, the worse it'll get. Her magic will just keep spiraling," Elsa answered, speaking with the knowledge of experience.

"Elsa's right. This was a bad idea coming home. We should still be out there searching," said Snow, arms folded across her stomach.

Her husband tried to offer what comfort he could in the face of losing their daughter again. "Hey, this isn't your fault."

When she shook her head, dropping her face downward, he continued. "It isn't. We'll find Emma, but we've been searching all night. Everyone's exhausted, yourself included. So we refuel, we regroup. And we go out, and we find our daughter, okay?"

"Okay," she answered, fighting back a yawn.

The sound of the door opening drew everyone's attention. "You don't have to look anymore," Henry announced as he entered. Coming into the room, he reached behind his right ear to gingerly rub his injury.

"Henry! We thought you were asleep upstairs. We told you to stay here!" Snow's attention and energy immediately focused at seeing Henry come in when she was under the impression he was asleep.

"What happened?" David asked.

"I snuck out, okay? I'm sorry, but I found her," the teenager answered with the degree of petulance one would normally expect from someone his age.

"How is she?"

"Is she okay? Is she hurt?" Mary Margaret and David took turns asking.

"She's out in the woods. I thought I could help calm her down, but when I showed up, it just made things worse," Henry's reply was agitated, a product of his lack of sleep, injury, and being frantically sent away.

"Come with me. I'll clean you up in the bathroom," his grandmother instructed, taking care of the most immediate concern first.

"This is bad news. If anyone can calm her down, it's Henry," said David.

"When your powers are out of control, everything's upside down. You don't want to be anywhere near the people you care about," Elsa informed, not happy at the news she was bearing, but knowing it was necessary.

"Wonderful. Well, shall we send Sneezy after her, then? Or Happy? Which is the dwarf she despises?" Hook's anger and frustration at being unable to help his friend boiled over.

"I was so scared that I would hurt Anna until I finally realized that you can't run away from the people who love you because in the end, they're the only ones who can help you," said Elsa.

"So what do we do?" David asked, looking up from the breakfast bar.

Elsa shrugged with a wan smile. "We have to keep looking, but not frantically. You were right in coming home. Once we all get some rest, we can do a calmer search, one that won't frighten her and spark her powers."

David nodded, understanding. "We should leave someone here and at the sheriff's station," he said, "just in case she comes back on her own."

Zelena's farmhouse was almost perfectly suited to her needs. Expansive beyond its appearance, it featured several bedrooms on the upper floor along with a couple bathrooms. The main floor had two sitting rooms, a library, kitchen, and a half-bath. Surprisingly, there was enough magic leftover from the Wicked Witch's brief stay that the food she'd left behind was still good, the electricity was still running, and the water flowed fresh and hot from the pipes.

It even had an extremely well-appointed laundry room. She snorted at the thought of Midwife Zelena doing her laundry to look presentable to the people of Storybrooke.

It would do.

Emma's first step was to revisit her apartment, packing what clothes and toiletries she'd need, along with pictures of her parents and Henry, her laptop and all the chargers for her electronics. As she moved around the small residence, her mind slipped into a funk. Leaving would be easier if she wasn't fully processing everything that was happening. Her phone, left on the counter as she packed in the bedroom, buzzed with a series of incoming calls. Having turned the ringer and notifications off as she fled the station, Emma remained in blissful ignorance of the people searching all over Storybrooke for her.

On her way out the door, she paused, wondering if there was anything she'd left undone. When her eyes landed on a pen and pad of paper on the counter, she dropped the one bag that held all her critical possessions. Emma quickly scrawled out a note for Henry, apologizing for leaving and instructing him to stay with Regina or Snow. She purposefully left off any promise that they'd fix this crisis. As far as she was concerned, this was a crisis to which there was no solution.

Mission accomplished, she gathered up her bag and made her way back to the farmhouse. Without her Bug it was a long, but less conspicuous trip. Hiding from two incredibly powerful magic users like Gold and Ingrid was going to be supremely challenging.

When Emma got back to the farmhouse, she set her bag down inside the door and tossed her keys on the kitchen counter as she made her way to get a drink of water. The walk to get back had been brutal with the extra weight of the bag. The toss was just a little too far, and the small bits of metal made a clinking sound as they slid off the counter and hit the floor. Bending over to pick them up, Emma's gaze lifted from the house key up to a door she hadn't noticed before. Looking around, almost as if she felt like she was trespassing in the abandoned house, she opened the door and found a staircase leading to a basement.

As soon as she crossed the threshold, it felt like a different house. Dark and dusty, the creak of the stairs seemed to echo around the dingy basement. The only light she could find was connected to a fraying string and cast a feeble glow around the dank room.

Even through the gloom, there was nevertheless one thing that grabbed her attention the first moment she set eyes on it. The seeds of Emma's plan sprouted in that dark basement, snaking their way through her mind and giving her a solution that would foil Gold, Ingrid, and keep the rest of Storybrooke safe from her.

She would need a few things to make it happen, and some would be harder to come by than others, but none were impossible. Moving back upstairs, she found the pen and paper she'd stuffed into her bag at the apartment and started making a list.

First up were paper, envelopes, and stamps.

A/N: It seems the last straw has fallen.

Thoughts?