We walk down the street, Christina playing music from her phone. She plays a song called Marvin Gaye by Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor that I surprisingly like. Kurt Cobain would frown upon this, I whisper to myself. Next comes a song called Black Magic by Little Mix, some kind of girl band. I'm not really updated on music since I don't have a car so I don't ever hear radio, and I tend to listen to the same old CDs that I've had for years if at all. Christina and Marlene do not approve of my lack of modern pop knowledge, but I laugh at them for being so serious about it. Tobias convinces Christina to shut off the music when we reach the grocery store, which I'm thankful for. This is the store I normally go to and I get enough stares being alone and everything, so I don't need more with her partying and dancing her way through the store while blaring Teen Pop radio.
The grocery store trip is a long and painful one. I bought enough food to last a couple months for just me, and enough for all of us for two weeks. I know they surely won't be here for another two weeks, let alone the rest of the week, so I'm not entirely sure why I bought this much. I guess I was just being optimistic. Even through those awkward moments and painfully quiet moments, I enjoy my time with these people immensely. As we exit the store, I snake one earbud-I found my earbuds in my jacket pocket-into an ear and play Something In The Way by Nirvana. It's kind of depressing music, but I love Nirvana, so I just listen to it anyway. That's probably part of the reason why I'm always in a kind of mood. Oh well.
The trip through the pharmacy is quick and painless, though I am begged to buy a few bottles of wine for the group. I'm a pushover, so it doesn't take them much begging to get the wine of their choosing. We leave with three bottles of wine and my prescription, and I'm ready to go and sit down for several hours. Also, after reading the directions and warnings on my prescription, I realize that I need to make a doctor's appointment. I need to make appointments for ultrasounds and such, as well as make sure that I can still take my current anti-depression medication. It says in the warnings to check with your doctor about taking the prescription while pregnant or nursing. I really hope there's no problem with me taking it while pregnant since I've been taking it the whole time so far. Surely there's nothing terribly bad about it since I'm still pregnant. I break from my thoughts to look around. We're all standing around outside the pharmacy doing absolutely nothing.
"Do you guys want to go out for lunch?" I make the suggestion, already fully aware of why I'm doing it. I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant, and all that other baggage that goes along with it. A few murmurs and nods of the head confirm that we're eating out.
"Tris, I'd love to, but I've just been informed that one of my patients had some sort of medical emergency and I really should go see them in the hospital. I'm terribly sorry." Dr. Eaton knows what I'm doing, and he knows to go now. I silently thank him with a smile.
"No problem; see you later." He smiles back and heads off after hugging Tobias and waving to the rest of the group. I bite my lip, looking around as I think about what place would be best to go to with everyone right now. Obviously it shouldn't be somewhere with many people since I'm going to spill a lot to my new friends, and I don't think I can stand to be upright for much longer. My back and feet ache from having to withstand a newer, larger weight and lots of work for when I usually would've been sitting on the couch reading or watching TV and sleep the whole time instead of moving about and socializing. After running through a repertoire of places in my knowledge, I pick an Italian place I've been to a few times, as I know the owners. The woman that runs it with her family worked with my mother before opening the restaurant, and they were good friends. I run the idea of Italian through the rest of the group, to which they all agree, and we head out.
The restaurant has one other couple and a group of three that seems to be too loud to notice anyone else there, so we go ahead and take our seat.
"Tris, I haven't seen you in ages!" Alayna greets me before we sit down, having come out to see the apparent large group that had come to eat.
"I know it's so good to see you, Alayna!" She smiles and kisses both of my cheeks before retreating to the kitchen. The waiter returns and takes our drink orders, bringing them to us almost immediately. Everyone looks amongst each other, anticipating conversation. With a deep breath, I decide that now is the time. If I put it off any longer, I won't be able to do it and end forever alone with a child I can't take care of. My excessive breathing attracts the attention of the group and all eyes are on me now.
"So, girls, you know earlier when I said I would explain later?" They give confused nods, brows furrowed in concentration on what will soon escape my quivering lips. "Well as you've surely noticed, I've been struggling a little bit lately with…many things." I close my eyes and know that it's now or never. "I'm pregnant." Eyebrows raise, heads cock, and faces fall. I look about them, on the verge of tears, and notice specifically that Tobias looks mad. I bring my hands to my face and let out a small sniffle as a few tears worm their way over my eyelids. Christina scoots closer to me on my left and puts and arm over my shoulder, whispering soothing little nothings in my ear. The waiter pushes out of the kitchen door and starts toward our table, but quickly turns and heads right back inside. I look down, only to look back up when Tobias stands up from the table quickly and goes toward the bathroom. Just as he turns into the door, he looks back and I see his truly angry expression, what's he so upset about? He's not the pregnant one. Zeke looks around confusedly and finally lets out the question I'm sure they've all been holding in their minds.
"Whose baby is it?"
A small sob escapes me as I release what will show them to the truth, "I don't know." Uriah opens his mouth with a 'what the hell do you mean' look but quickly closes it when Marlene smacks him on the arm.
Christina speaks up again, "What do you mean? Have you been…busy with multiple guys or something and don't know when it was conceived?"
I shake my head as my eyelids become the cliff of the waterfall, "I was…raped. Three months ago a man took me in an alley when I was heading home from the grocery store and…" Marlene makes a worried sort of noise and scoots over to my right side and puts her arm around me. Now encased in arms, soothing words, and tears, I suggest that we get takeout and go back to my apartment. Uriah heads over to place orders for us and Zeke goes to the bathroom, from which Tobias has not returned. Christina pulls a small package of tissues from her purse and I smile gratefully.
Tobias' POV
I pace the bathroom, anger filling my head. I repeatedly clench and unclench my fists until the anger takes over and I punch one of the stalls. And to think I was falling in love with her. I thought she was the shy and reserved girl my father described her as. The girl she looked and acted like, but no. She turned out like all the others, a slut with no consideration for the consequences of her actions. I lean over the sink and look in the mirror and notice that a vein in my temple is throbbing, popped out like a metal pipe under the skin. Zeke pushes through the bathroom door and gives me an angry look. I shake my head, what's his problem? He leans against the wall and slides down, shaking his head.
"What the hell is your problem, dude? Tris is out there crying because she's pregnant, doesn't know the father, and has nobody and you're being a dick! For what reason, I don't know." I get caught on his words, my mouth hanging open in anticipation of a comeback flying out.
"She doesn't know the father? What do you mean she doesn't know the father?" White hot anger rushes through veins, she's worse than I thought.
"She was raped, you asshole. You're not helping her, either. When you decide to not be a dickhat, we're getting takeout and going back to her place." Zeke rolls his eyes and leaves the bathroom. I stand there, stupefied with a dumb look on my face. She was raped. So much makes sense now. Just last night I told her I would want to hear about her problems when she told me she was ready, but when she tried to tell me I ran away like an idiot, totally oblivious to the big picture. Breaking out of my stance, I splash cold water on my face and dry it quickly, exiting the restroom in a hurry. I see that all the girls and Will are still sitting at the table with Tris, comforting her. I want to tear her away from them and hold her to my chest like last night, whispering soothing words to her, promising that I'll always be there, that I'm sorry for the way I acted. Instead I decide that now is not the time, I'll have to wait for tonight when I can get her alone. A part of me knows that the girls aren't leaving her side until she dies and the other part of me hates to think about her ever dying. Maybe I'll have to pull her aside after we eat or something. Either way, I know that I won't be able to leave her, ever, and she has to know that. I just hope she's willing to let me stay after the dumb things I've done recently, and my lack of ability to express my feelings.