Chapter 12
Delly stands beside Thom with a weepy look in her eyes. Gale and Madge bite back smiles as Delly is her usual too generous self and giving me compliments I don't deserve.
"There is always this big empty space when we all get together for school reunions. It just doesn't seem right without you there. I mean you were our Prom Queen and valedictorian! There is a huge part of us missing!" she exclaims.
Tears begins to form in her eyes and she sniffs rather loudly. Thom rolls his eyes from beside her.
"Come on, Del, you promised you wouldn't cry," he says.
Delly sniffs loudly again as she wipes her nose with her arm.
"I'm sorry, Thom. It's just so sad. We don't know when we'll see Katniss again," she says.
I smile at her sadly as I reach out to give her arm a comforting squeeze. I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm not sure when I will be back. I've taken a lot of time off work recently and I don't think they'll be giving me any time off soon.
But there's one last thing I need to do before I leave. I'm sure it will never atone for the way I behaved during this trip but hosting one last barbeque in town might help me mend a few bridges in Panem.
I think every grill has been rolled out to feed the population of Panem and Mom has even got the local band to play some tunes to encourage people to come up and dance. It's very different from my life in New York but so far tonight I've already enjoyed laughing at Haymitch Abernathy treating us to a rather tragic rendition of an old country song and being swung energetically round the dance floor by Rye.
I've been surrounded by supportive friends like Delly wishing me good luck back in New York. It's been a bit exhausting but I've really tried to engage in conversation with them all and enjoy their company one last time before I leave. There are people here that care about me and I need to show them that I care about them too.
Thom sighs as he puts an arm around his wife and he turns to look at me.
"Katniss, please visit. I'll be stuck with this one whining about when you're coming back," he says.
I smile back at him as Delly rests her head against his shoulder. I don't know what I did to earn Delly's love and loyalty because I certainly don't deserve it. I have barely been a friend to her these last few years but she is still upset with my leaving. I guess that's what you get from living in a small town. There is a sense of family community that even the toughest trials can't break. I can't say the same thing about New York.
Madge smiles as she shakes her head at me. We are both well aware that Delly can get very emotional but that has always been part of her charm. Madge sighs as she turns back round to face Delly and offers her arm.
"Come on, Del. We better get some of Mrs Everdeen's pecan pie before it all goes," she says.
Delly sniffs loudly again as she nods her head.
"Yeah. I think dessert will cheer me up. Don't leave without saying goodbye, Katniss," she says turning to me.
I smile and nod as she pulls me in to a tight hug. I give her a little squeeze in return and she pulls back with a watery smile.
"Thanks for coming, Delly. I'll make sure to say goodbye later," I say.
She smiles at me again as she nods her head before Madge and Thom lead her away. The dessert distraction seems to be working for Delly and she brightens up as she leaves. I smile as I think about her unwavering support.
I watch them leave for a moment before I scan the crowd looking for Peeta. He hasn't shown up yet and I'm beginning to grow agitated as the hours until my departure continue to count down.
We've spent a lot of time together these last two days. We've shared lunch and gone riding in the evenings. I even had a chance to finally see his paintings. It seems he was being modest about his talent because he eventually admitted to winning second prize in a state wide contest for amateur painters. It's not hard to see why. They are as breath-taking as I thought they would be. They are full of colour and life. And the winning piece, the sunset view from the water tower, is a personal favourite. The arrays of oranges all perfectly wash together to create a striking piece. It reminds me of all the times we spent up there, happy and hopeful, as we forgot about the rest of the world.
We're friends again but there is a nagging thought at the back of my head as old and familiar feelings return. But I refuse to contemplate them.
I'm leaving in two days. I don't know when I will be able to get back. It's not fair on him to grow close again so soon after my relationship with Cato has ended. The very last thing I want to do is hurt him again.
I'm still looking for him when Gale's voice interrupts my thoughts.
"There was some sort of baking disaster at the bakery. He said he would make it later," Gale says.
I snap my head round to look at my cousin with a frown.
"Who are you talking about?" I ask trying to hide the fact I was caught looking for Peeta.
Gale just gives me a knowing smile as he stuffs his hands in his pockets.
"Come on, Catnip. You know who. You've been looking out for him since you got here," he says.
I turn away from him and cross my arms across my chest. I don't like that I am so easy to read.
"I don't know what you're talking about," I say.
I can picture the smile Gale has on his face after I say this. It's an obvious lie.
"You two are unbelievable. I don't know which of you is more oblivious," he says.
I huff and keep my back to him. I don't like all these people telling me how I feel about Peeta. It doesn't matter. I am leaving tomorrow. I continue to ignore Gale not wanting to talk about it.
There is silence for a long moment before Gale moves to stand beside me.
"He cooled things with Leevy. They haven't spoken since Cato left," Gale adds.
My skin prickles at the mention of her name. Our paths haven't crossed much since I've been here. I hope she hasn't purposefully been ignoring me. But until Gale mentioned her, I hadn't thought about her for days. Peeta's never mentioned her when we've hung out together. I haven't really stopped to think about what time with Peeta might mean for his relationship with her. Once again I have proven just how selfish I can be.
I try to ignore Gale's comment. It should make no difference to me. Out of the corner of my eye I see Gale shake his head at me.
"Fine. Continue to ignore whatever is happening between you two. Just be careful, Catnip. I know the last thing you want to do it hurt him again," Gale says.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Of course I don't want to hurt him. Can't people see that not talking about my feelings for him is my attempt to not hurt him? The sooner I get back to New York and get the divorce the sooner Peeta can forget all about me. Hopefully that will give Peeta enough time to move on and find happiness again
But as I avoid voicing my feelings, I finally see him. It's amazing how my whole body relaxes at the sight of his blue eyes and messy blond hair. He searches the crowd for a moment before he turns and spots me. The grins are instantaneous on our faces as we catch sight of each other and I can't stop myself from walking towards him. My heart flip flops as he keeps his eyes on me and we meet in the middle. The smiles are still on our faces as we stop in front of each other and Peeta holds out a Mellark's Bakery box in front of me.
"I thought I'd make you one last batch of cheese buns before you left. Though I'm certain none of them will make it with you to New York. You'll have scoffed them all by then," he says.
I smile as I take the box off him and then pull him in for a hug.
"Thank you," I say into his shoulder.
Peeta seems surprised at first as I wrap my arms around him but he soon relaxes and squeezes me in return. I can't describe how good it is to have his arms around me again. So strong and steady and safe. I can smell the cinnamon and dill on him and it takes me back to many happy memories we shared at the bakery.
But I try not to dwell on the feeling of being encased in his arms. It will do neither of us any good and I just want to enjoy this last night with him. As friends.
A cheeky smile slowly appears on his face as we pull back and separate.
"I can't believe you agreed to host this party. You hated all these big town events before," he says.
I smile and I shake my head at him.
"They're not too bad. I'm beginning to remember the good things about this town," I reply nudging him in the ribs.
"There is a lot of good here. And how could you leave without watching Haymitch get drunk one last time and seeing Rye trying to beat Mr Thread in an arm wrestle? You will miss all these things back in New York," he says.
I give him a small smile but don't tell him that the thing I'll miss the most is him.
"You should come out to New York. With your new found passion for painting you would love all the art there is to be found in the city," I say.
Peeta smiles as he shakes his head.
"New York would swallow me whole. Too many people and things going on. I like a simple life," he says.
I nod my head in understanding. I can't imagine him in New York. He'd be like a deer caught in the headlights. He'd get lost amongst it all. We both thrive in very different environments.
I don't get a chance to reply though as suddenly my dad appears at my shoulder with a very stressed look in his eyes.
"Katniss, you need to save me. Your mother is driving me crazy. I can't sip my beer in peace without her dragging me off to talk to someone else. This is your party. You should be the one mingling with the guests," he says.
Peeta and I both share a small smile at the slightly crazed look in my dad's eyes. He and my mom have a very different idea of what makes a good party.
"So you're going to drag me along with you? It's my party surely that means I to mingle at my own pace," I say.
Dad then flicks his eyes to Peeta, who is still standing smiling. A small smile appears on my father's face as he turns back to face me.
"Well if you don't want to leave Peeta, we should just drag him along with us. He always had the best small talk anyway," Dad says.
Peeta's eyes widen slightly and he begins to edge away.
"You know what, I might just go and check out the dessert bar," he says.
But I don't let him leave. I reach out to grasp him by the arm and tug him back towards us.
"No way. If I'm going to be the biggest social butterfly at this party you're not going to abandon me," I say playfully.
Peeta stops and looks down at me with a smile. His eyes sparkle in the evening sun and my heart flutters again. We are stuck staring at each other for a moment and I know he's not going to deny me. We were always a good team and used to always work together whenever our families forced us to mingle at social gatherings. It just makes sense to navigate the rest of the night together.
Peeta lets out an exaggerated sigh.
"I suppose I'm trapped now," he says.
I grin triumphantly back at him and he holds my stare for a moment before smiling back at me and looking up to face my dad.
"You owe me one, Heath," he says.
My dad nods his head but his eyes are locked on the place where my hand is still touching Peeta's arm. Slowly he looks up at me with a confused look. I gulp as I drop my hand from Peeta's arm like it's a hot coal and look at the ground. I think my dad is reading into my interactions with Peeta more than I would like.
Mom suddenly appears beside us and begins tugging on my dad's arm.
"Come on, Heath, Katniss. You need to talk to the Cartwrights," Mom says.
Dad continues to look at Peeta and me as Mom drags him away and Peeta turns to me with a smile. He holds out his hand for me to take.
"Together?" he asks.
I stare at his hand for a few moments as I try to piece together how this all might look from the outside. I don't want any more people gossiping but I also don't want to spend the night without Peeta. Slowly I place my hand in his and look at him with a smile.
"Together," I confirm.
Peeta grins before he tugs me along to help my dad deal with all the party guests.
The three of us end up making a pretty good team. Dad talks sports and hunting with the men, I enthral people with my travels abroad and Peeta, bless him, entertains all the big gossipers with his charm and self-deprecating humour. The whole thing is made so much more enjoyable by having both him and my dad beside me.
But Dad and I lose Peeta sometime between the Donners and the Crays. As the night draws to a close I try to scan the surrounding fields in sight of him, hoping he hasn't left without saying goodbye.
Dad lets out a heavy sigh as he comes to stand beside me.
"I'm exhausted!" he declares. "As much as a love you, you can stay a whole before you come back. I can't handle too many nights like this.
I turn to him with a smile. We are so similar in this way. But Dad's face falls slightly after a moment.
"But then again, I don't know if you're planning on coming back," he states.
My heart drops when I see the sadness in his eyes.
"Dad…" I begin not quite knowing what to say. "I am coming back. I know I have been a bad daughter these last few years and that I need to make more of an effort. My job is just probably not going to let me go anytime soon."
Dad gives me a relieved smile
"It would mean a lot to your mother. I know it has been a big effort for you to come back here. You have to face memories that you've tried to run from," he says.
"It has been hard. I'm still trying to process everything that has happened since I've been here," I say.
At first I only came back for one reason; to get a divorce from Peeta. I've got that now. But in the process I have realised that there are people I love here and I have to stop neglecting them. There are other reasons for me to come back now and I don't want to abandon them again.
Dad smiles back at me.
"Just remember that there are some things that you can never completely leave behind," he says.
He looks at me intently and I know he is not just talking about him and Mom. He's seen how I acted with Peeta tonight. He knows there is something more there than I am willing to admit.
He smiles at me sadly again before pulling me towards him and placing a kiss on my head.
"I love you, sweetheart. Don't try and forget everything about Panem," he says after he has placed the kiss.
I give him a weak smile as he pulls away. He smiles at me again before a stumbling Haymitch catches his attention and he darts over to stop the middle aged man falling into the barbeque grills.
Dad's words ring around my head and the air suddenly becomes claustrophobic. He's forced me to think about feelings I don't want to think about and I can't do that here, surrounded by all of Panem. I don't care if it's impolite to leave my own party without a goodbye, but I need to get away.
I dash away from the guests that still linger about and spot Darius's police bicycle resting against a barn. I quickly rush up to it and swing my legs over the saddle. There is only one place that will help me clear my head and it is a bit of a ride to get there.
I need to get to the water tower.
I cycle away quickly along the dark country roads as I try to escape Dad's warning words. I get more confused the longer this trip goes on.
I discard the bike at the bottom of the ladder of the water tower and swiftly make my way up to the top. I am desperate for some time to think. As my hands grasp the edge of the water tower to haul myself up onto the ledge I find that I am not the only one here. Peeta's bright blue eyes shine out in the darkness.
I suck in a small breath of surprise as I clamber on top and settle myself beside him. I didn't expect him to be here. I wasn't even sure if he had left the party. He smiles at me warmly though as I lean back to rest against the water tower. At this time of night all you can see is the stars stretching across the blackness that goes on for miles and miles.
I wrap my arms around myself as I suddenly become uncomfortable with the thought that I am intruding.
"Hi," I say. "I didn't realise you still came up here."
Peeta smiles back at me.
"I didn't realise you did either," he replies.
He takes a deep breath before turning back to look at the stars.
"It's still the best place to come and think in Panem," he says.
"What did you come up here to think about?" I ask.
I can't help myself. It seems more than a coincidence that we both ended up here.
Peeta smiles as he takes another deep breath before turning back to look at me.
"The same thing I always come here to think about. You," he says.
My heart stops at his words. Part of me knew that was going to be his answer. I think part of me was hoping that was going to be his answer. It's a relief to know that I am not the only one confused even if it is better for him to have no feelings for me at all.
"Every time I think I have sorted my feelings out for you something comes along to make me question them all over again. In the space of two weeks I have gone from hating you to being your friend and now being disappointed at your leaving," he says.
I look down at my toes that hang over the ledge. This is walking on dangerous territory. I still don't think talking about these confusing feelings is for the best. Because there is only ever going to be one outcome. I am going to leave tomorrow.
"I'm going to miss you," I admit.
There is no point in denying that. These last few days have been more enjoyable and I am not stupid enough to deny that it is all due to the man I have spent time with.
"I've liked getting to know you again these last few days. Seeing your paintings and going riding with you again. It's like how it used to be," I say.
Peeta smiles at me through the darkness. A bit of light in the otherwise black night.
"You were my best friend. I've missed that," he replies.
I smile back at him. I've never quite had a friend as good as him. Everything was so natural. Peeta is the only person I have ever bared my soul to. But we lost that when he put a ring on my finger.
A comfortable silence falls between us as we both turn to look back out at the stars. I don't know what else we can say to each other without going into things that will only bring each of us more pain.
After a long moment Peeta turns to look at me again.
"You must be excited about getting back to New York. I know you hate it here," he says.
My heart drops a little in disappointment that he has changed the subject. I don't want to talk about New York with him. Particularly as it is a reminder he is not part of my life there.
"I don't hate everything about Panem," I say softy.
I fix my stare on Peeta and try to show him with a look that he has made this last week so much more enjoyable. I don't want him to think I hate Panem because of him.
Peeta sucks in a breath when he sees the intensity of my stare. My heart begins to pound in my chest as he looks back at me with equal intent. No man has ever had quite the same physical effect on me as he has. I inch closer to him as the thought of kissing him again reappears in my head.
But Peeta clears his throat and turns away from me. I blush and look down, embarrassed to be having these thoughts about him again.
"I think I'm going to head home. You need a ride? How did you get here?" he asks.
"I stole Darius's police bike," I reply.
Peeta turns to me with an amused grin as he shakes his head. And just like that the intensity between us is gone. He's ready to joke about my most recent theft.
"He could have you thrown in jail for that," he says.
He playfully bumps my shoulder as he says this and I laugh as I gently jostle him back.
"I left him passed out on the grass. He will have it back by the time he wakes up tomorrow," I reply with a grin.
Peeta laughs before he makes a move to leave.
"Yeah. Darius will be passed out until noon. Come on though. We should get a move on," he says.
I smile at him one last time before we both turn round to climb down the steps.
We sit in silence as Peeta drives me back to my parents' house. Darius's bike is slung in the back of his truck and I can't help but stare at Peeta as we drive along the country roads.
A mixture of fear and nervousness grips my heart as we get closer to the house. I'm leaving tomorrow and I can't even imagine what will happen before I make it back to Panem. I'll file the papers and we'll be officially divorced and free to live our lives separately. That's what I wanted when I came back here. But why does the thought of that now fill me with dread?
I start to think about how we got here. When we were growing up I thought nothing would come between us. He was my best friend and I loved him with all my being. But we let things slip. We chose to argue rather than face up to our real problems and I ended up losing part of myself as a result. I wonder if we could have done anything differently.
I'm still thinking about it as Peeta stops his truck and walks me to my parents' door. I'm so caught up in my thoughts I almost miss his goodbye.
"Goodbye, Katniss. Don't eat all those cheesebuns at once," he says.
I let myself smile as he lingers for a moment. There is a moment when I think he is about to hug me but then he steps back shaking his head. He ends up giving me one last smile instead before he turns to leave.
But I don't want him to leave. I realise that I need to speak to him. About what went wrong. About what is happening between us now. Because I know if I don't I will be thinking about it for the rest of my life. Because I have so many regrets about what happened and I wished we had done things differently once I left.
"You never came after me," I say.
Peeta freezes at the sound of my voice and he stays still for a long moment before turning round to face me. When he does he has indignation in his eyes. He takes a step towards me and I hold my breath as I push my back up against the door.
"You never gave me the chance to fight for you! You were gone before I could convince you otherwise! Not once did you ask me to come with you. Don't you dare blame me for giving up on us," he says.
He's angry again. Just like when I first arrived. I realise that we have left a few things unsaid. But Peeta catches himself and shakes his head as he steps away from me.
"Besides, you didn't want me to come after you. Not really," he adds.
His face is sad and resigned but I shake my head as I take a step towards him. I stop a breath away from him as I look up.
"Yes, I did," I say determinedly. "I didn't stop loving you just because I moved but I was too scared and heartbroken to ask you to come with me."
Peeta sighs in defeat and nods his head.
"That's not an excuse. You should have given me the option. I can't say I would have agreed to go but it was the least I deserved. You made me feel expendable," he replies.
I was so stupid and hurtful back then. Our whole marriage failed because we couldn't communicate with each other and I was too young to understand how to compromise. For the first time I can see how things could have been different.
Peeta sighs again as he takes a step towards me. His eyes are filled with sadness and regret.
"But once you were gone I was left with no choice. I loved you enough to know that you needed to get out and see the world. And even though it devastated me to have you leave I had to let you go," he replies.
My heart clenches with guilt but old wounds have been reopened and emotions are beginning to pour out.
"Then why marry me in the first place? Let's be honest with each other. You proposed to keep me here. Why bother if you were just going to let me go a year down the line?" I reply getting angrier.
"Don't you dare blame it all on me! You still said yes. I didn't force you to marry me. You said yes because you were scared of losing me and then spent our marriage resenting me for the decision you made. It's not fair to blame me for keeping you here," he replies angrily.
"You knew I couldn't say no to you. I would have done anything for you back then. You manipulated my feelings for you," I reply.
"Fine, maybe I did. But your resentment of me was harsh. You would pick fights just so you could avoid the real reason you were angry with me. You preferred all the small arguments than having to face our real issues," he says.
I shrink away as I am hit by his honest words and I am confronted by all my mistakes.
"If you knew what was bothering me why didn't you say anything? I know I sucked at communicating but you were just as bad. Why let me pick the fights? Why not force me to be honest with you?" I say.
"Because I was scared. You were my whole life, Katniss. I didn't have a life without you. No one else I really cared about. I knew bringing it up would mean I would lose you. I made mistakes, Katniss, but don't just stand there and accuse me of being the only one," he says.
We pause for breath. We've laid the truth all out there.
"You're right. I fucked up bad and I never meant for you to feel expendable. You were never that to me. Leaving you was the hardest thing I have ever done. I should have just talked to you and at least tried to come to a compromise before I left," I say.
Peeta smiles sadly at me.
"We both failed. The truth is we were just too young to deal with a grown up relationship," he replies. He pauses a moment when he looks deep into my eyes before speaking again. "It's taken me nine years to admit it, but maybe now I can have closure once and for all."
I return his smile. I want him to get closure. He doesn't deserved to be hurt by me anymore.
A strand of hair falls across my face. Peeta reaches out automatically to tuck the hair behind my ear. It's an old, familiar gesture. One that used to be as natural to him as breathing but it is strangely intimate. He hasn't touched me like that in a long time.
He freezes when he catches himself doing it and looks at me alarmed. I hold my breath as I stare back up at him with confused eyes. Old feelings begin swirling in my stomach and warm my chest. I don't move and Peeta doesn't drop his hand.
I don't know who moves first but suddenly our lips meet in a sweet kiss. We both pull back afterwards looking at each other curiously. The feelings are intensifying inside of me and I can't hear anything over my rapidly beating heart.
"We shouldn't have done that," I whisper.
What am I doing? I just thought how I wanted him to have closure. Kissing him is not going to give him that.
But I see something in each his eyes. He wants a chance to say goodbye. One he didn't get the first time. Before I know what is happening I am drawn back into his arms, his lips sealing mine in a searing kiss.
The electric thrill that runs through my body is instant as soon as I feel his lips against mine. All other thoughts fly out of my head as I concentrate on the feel and taste of him. It is like coming home.
I keep expecting him to pull away but he licks my bottom lip, begging for entrance and I open my mouth greedily to let him in. He pulls me closer to him as our tongues dance together in a fiery embrace. I can't get enough of him as I wrap my arms around him and feel the hard muscles in his back.
Everything feels familiar and yet different at the same time. He's grown bolder in the last few years. His hands slip down from my face, outlining the curve of my shoulders before sliding down to grip hold of my waist. I gasp as he tugs me towards him and I feel him hard against my lower abdomen. He groans as I buck my hips into him and the wetness begins to soak into my underwear. Peeta gently bites down on my bottom lip as he digs his nails into my skin and I let out an embarrassingly loud moan.
But kissing him is not enough. Maybe it will be more painful in the long run. Or maybe like he said it will bring us closure. But I can sense in the intensity of his grip that he needs this. After he will be able to let me go for good.
We pull away breathlessly as we take a moment to study each other carefully. There's no pain in them anymore. Just a hunger that I am sure is being reflected back to him in my own look.
"We should go inside. Away from prying eyes," I say.
Peeta nods his head in agreement as he pulls me towards him to give me another bruising kiss. I'm panting when he releases me and I can barely concentrate as I fumble about in my bag for my keys.
Peeta stands behind me as I fiddle with the lock on my parents' house and get distracted by his kisses on my neck. I roll my head to the side as I let him suckle on my pulse point. I love the tightness of his grip on me and the feel of his lips against my skin. I can't wait to get us inside.
I almost fall through the doorway as I unlock the door but Peeta's hands are there to steady me and he presses me against the wall taking my head in his hands to kiss me again. I sigh into it as my hands slip underneath his flannel shirt, grazing his skin there as I trail my fingers up his spine.
The part of me that thinks this is a bad idea no longer responds. There is no going back now.
Peeta separates my legs with his and he pushes his thigh up into my pulsating core. I gasp as I press myself against it and begin rubbing myself against him. Peeta grunts his approval.
"My bedroom," I pant between kisses.
I don't want to run the risk of my parents walking in on us, even if I want nothing more than to tear his clothes off right here and right now. We don't need any interruptions. Peeta nods his head in agreement and I reluctantly pull myself off him to turn and go up the stairs.
It takes us several attempts to reach my room. I feel liking a dehydrated man who has just found water again. I can't get enough of him and several times we stop on the stairs to kiss each other senseless again. Hands wander to not so innocent places and I am already breathless when Peeta punches open my bedroom door and pushes me inside.
Years of frustration and bitterness has built up until this point. We didn't resolve things the last time and this is our attempt to get closure on it all.
We snap together like magnets as we immediately start tearing and ripping off clothes. Buttons fly off Peeta's flannel shirt and my bra ends up hanging off the side of a lampshade. We can't get each other naked quick enough and we end up tumbling together onto my bed.
I relish the feeling of him against me. My hands run all over his skin, remembering every contour of his body and noting a couple of new scars he has picked up. Peeta showers my body in kisses as he rediscovers all my sweet spots. He has me gasping and writhing underneath him as he suckles on my nipple and his thumb finds my clit. He remembers exactly the patterns and pressure to apply to get me moaning and screaming out his name.
I can't say anything as my breathing gets shallower and the sweat begins to appear like dew on my skin. I don't want to say anything to disturb this moment with him. All that matters is him and the amazing things he does to my body. But I don't want him to miss out on the fun.
I run my hand down his chest and curl my fingers around his length as his finger still plays on my clit. I run my thumb over his head before pumping him a few times. I always loved the feel of him in my hand. No one else has fitted as perfectly in my hand as him.
Peeta drops his head to my shoulder as he pants heavily and we continue to tease each other. Slowly he brings his head back up to place a sloppy kiss on my lips.
"Condom?" he mumbles against my lips.
I shake my head at him and his body momentarily sags in disappointment. My hand stops working him as I touch his cheek to get him to look at me.
"No need. I've got an IUD. I trust you," I say.
Peeta gives me a relieved smile before pulling me up for a deep kiss. I dig my nails into his back and I can feel his length pressed up against my slick folds. I feel Peeta shiver at the contact and I don't want to wait any longer. I need him inside of me.
Peeta seems to sense this too and reaches down to line himself up at my entrance. I feel the tip of him dip into my entrance and I gasp in anticipation. For the first time since we kissed Peeta stops, holding himself at my entrance. I don't know how he has so much self-control. I want nothing more than for him to sink into me.
But he stops to look at me and the look makes my heart stop. A softness appears in his eyes and I know this is more than some quick, needy fuck. But he doesn't say anything to voice how he is feeling. Instead he just bends down to kiss me again and everything I need to know is in that one kiss.
He doesn't waste another moment and he slides into me in one fluid movement. I moan in approval as I hitch my leg around his hip to allow him in deeper.
He starts off slowly at first, building a steady pace until I am jutting my hips up to meet his movements. We keep our eyes locked together as we move in time together. It feels so right to be joined together in this way again. We are both more sure in what we are doing compared to the fumbling teenagers we were when we last did this. Briefly my mind wanders to the girls he must have been with to become this confident but I quickly shake these thoughts out my head. I don't want to think about them. I just want to think about him.
The spikes of pleasure keep rolling throughout my body with every one of his purposeful thrusts. I squirm underneath him as my orgasm begins to build steadily. Peeta grips my hips tighter to pick up the pace and just when I think we have hit the right rhythm he suddenly hooks his arm under my knee, pulling my leg up and over his shoulder.
This new position leaves us nose to nose as Peeta grips onto my ankle tightly to keep me in place. The sudden change in angle allows him to sink even deeper inside of me and he reaches my g-spot in just the right way. I cry out as he hits that spot again and again.
The steady progress of my orgasm suddenly begins running at full steam ahead and the coil in my belly tightens at a rapid speed. Peeta hisses as I dig my nails into his flesh as I call out his name.
I am completely breathless and my body begins to tremble from my impending orgasm. Peeta senses this as I clench around him and leans forward to thrust into me with even more purpose. The coil continues winding tighter and tighter. I don't think I can take it much longer.
Finally my back arches up off the bed as my orgasm comes crashing over me. Peeta grips onto my ankle tighter as the aftershocks of my orgasm runs through my whole body making me tremble underneath him.
His own rhythm has gotten sloppy now and he is panting my name against my shoulder. I reach up to stroke sweaty strands of hair off his face and he comes with a strangled cry of my name before slumping down on top of me.
He lifts his chin up to give me a lazy smile. I smile back at him as I continue to stoke the sweaty curls off his face and bask in the glory of one of my most powerful orgasms. I lean up to place a soft kiss on his lips, not caring what tomorrow may bring.
A/N: This chapter took me a long time to get right so I have to thank my Beta, LavendaVanilla, for giving me all her notes and encouraging me. I finally think I got it they way I wanted.
I know this chapter is going to split opinion. Some will be ecstatic at Everlark finally getting together again while others will be disappointed that Peeta let Katniss back in so easily. I will say that Peeta knows exactly what he is doing and wouldn't have done it if he thought it was going to hurt him. We're nearing the end now so you won't have to wait long to see how it all comes to a conclusion.