Naruto shivered as he shed the blanket of warmth created by the bed and covers. His chest ached and it felt like his pace maker was kicking into high gear more often these days. To make matters worse, he had developed a cough that did not seem to want to go away. Lifting a hand to his lips, he fought and failed to hold in the cough as he walked in a slow daze toward the bathroom.

The bathroom held even more of a chill and he shuddered as he pulled his toothbrush from its cup and began scrubbing at his teeth. His eyes never left the person staring back at him from behind the mirror. Could that man really be him?

The beginnings of dark shadows were visible beneath his eyes and a loss of color to his face gave him an almost ghostly appearance. Even his lips looked colorless. He had lost some weight in the past several months and there was no denying that the spark found in his usually bright blue eyes was significantly dimmer than he last remembered. The man staring back at him looked tired and nowhere near healthy.

He knew it was just the progression of his illness. Itachi had told him as much and what to expect as things continued. The good side of it was that as the day progressed and he moved about, the color would return to his cheeks and he could fake the truth of his health. The shadows beneath his eyes would still be there, but color on his face would hide them unless someone looked close enough to see them.

Spitting the toothpaste into the sink, he lifted his hands to his cheeks and began pinching them to bring some color to them. He rolled his shoulders and popped his neck, giving his body a little stretch to get the blood flowing through him. He was still months away from needing to truly worry about true sickness, but that did not help keep the worry of what would happen from worming its way into his mind.

Bringing his hand to his mouth as he felt the need to cough rise again, he failed in holding it back. A wet cough hacked from his body and he gripped the sink to keep standing as it drained him.

"You alright in there, Naruto?"

Naruto looked up from where he stood and panicked. The last thing he wanted was to worry Sasuke. Sasuke was always there for him.

Sasuke made sure he ate right and took his medicine diligently. He supported him and even let him drive his car. Just little more than a month prior, he had given him the most romantic Valentine's Day of his life and healed at least a little part of his soul with the picnic under the stars.

Naruto loved him with ever fiber in his being. Hurting him was unthinkable.

"Naruto?"

"I'm fine." Naruto wiped his face and stared once more in the mirror. At least, the cough and brought some color back into his cheeks. That was something.

Opening the bathroom door, he grinned and stepped into the bedroom where Sasuke was seated on the side of the bed, reading over a printed section of his newest book. He said he was able to edit it more accurately when he could write on the paper with a pen to circle uncertain passages. Naruto just thought him an old fashioned nerd.

"You feeling alright?"

Naruto nodded and went to the closet. "Just that cold I had last week. It's being a bitch to kick."

"I told you that you should have gone to see Itachi about it."

With a roll of his eyes, Naruto looked over his shoulder at his lover. "I was fine. I had a bit of a head cold that drained into my lungs. It's not even a bad cough. A few days and some cough drops and I'll be fine. Okay?"

"I'll give you three days, then you're going to go to Itachi."

Naruto flopped on the bed beside Sasuke and rested his chin on his shoulder. "You do know Itachi is a heart specialist, right? You haven't forgotten what your big brother does for a living, have you? You know there is such a thing as early onset Alzheimer's."

"Don't be a smart ass," snarled Sasuke playfully.

"That's what you love about me," said Naruto, leaning forward to give Sasuke's ear a teasing lick.

Sasuke dropped the paper he was reading and turned to push Naruto down on the bed. With a smile, lips were lowered and met by Naruto's all too willing mouth. Their tongues glided leisurely over each other in a slow and delicious kiss. There was no need for rushing.

Sasuke's lips slid away and began to suck and nibble down the length of Naruto's neck until he reached a spot just over his collar bone. For the next several minutes, his tongue, teeth, and lips worried the spot until it grew dark in color.

Naruto groaned and spread his legs enough for Sasuke to settle between them comfortably. "You're making me late."

"Then stay home today."

Naruto purred and arched against him as lips grazed slowly over his nipple. "But it looks bad if I stay home too much."

Sasuke looked up and smirked. "Then blame me."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because it's the truth."

Naruto groaned low in his throat. "But what if I don't want everyone knowing that I'm in love with a sex fiend?"

Sasuke gave a low hum, and continued to work his way down Naruto's torso. Lips paused every so often to tease and arouse all those spots that were the most sensitive, like the place just north of his navel, or the bony protuberances of his hipbones. The attention had sighs of pleasure rolling from Naruto almost constantly.

When Sasuke finally began to nuzzle the hard shaft rising from the thatch of dark blond hair at his groin, Naruto was beyond arguing. He grunted and whined when lips suckled at the tip before trailing down the length to pay homage to the taut sac below. No matter the pleading, the pace was never rushed. They had both been burned by taking things too fast, and this morning, there was really no rush for release—only the slow build of pleasure.

Sasuke sucked one orb in his lips while his fingers curled around the abandoned penis and stroked in a slow pulling motion, thumb pausing every so often to swipe over the tip. Naruto nearly blacked out with the assault on his senses. The warm mouth and hand were pushing him slowly toward the end and he loved every moment of it.

That devilish mouth returned to his cock and gave a strong suck on the tip before returning to the slow and almost gentle teasing. Every time he thought he was going to explode with pleasure, Sasuke pulled away and waited for him to glide away from the edge of release.

"Please," Naruto whimpered as his hands sifted through Sasuke's thick, silky hair.

Delicious heat built in his groin and spots danced behind closed eyes. Each suck and nibble slowly edged him toward release. When he finally tumbled over, it was a gentle release that brought only a small whimper from his lips as he spilled himself between Sasuke's lips.

"Sasuke," he whined and arched as semen was expelled into Sasuke's mouth.

Sasuke continued to gently suck him through the length of the orgasm, only stopping when Naruto began to whimper as his penis grew oversensitive to the touch. He pulled away and stared lovingly down at Naruto. "Feel good?"

Naruto grinned, his face red from a blush. "You know it did."

He reached down and cupped Sasuke's hard groin. "Want me to return the favor?"

"I thought you were late."

Naruto groaned and slammed his head back into the bed. "I am."

"Then I'll take my payment tonight." Sasuke slithered up Naruto's body and kissed him leisurely, neither caring that the kiss was flavored by Naruto's release. "And I'll want more than an appetizer."

"God," groaned Naruto. "You're determined to have me hard for the rest of the day."

"Well, you could stay home and we could have the feast now."

"Feast," choked Naruto, barely holding in the laugh. "You're getting a little too into what you're writing, aren't you?"

"Maybe. If you ask nice, I'll even talk dirty to you in Japanese."

Naruto choked on a laugh and buried his face in Sasuke's neck. "Tease. You know I love it when you talk dirty."

Sasuke chuckled deep and rich in Naruto's ear. "Just wait until you get home. Then, we'll see who's laughing."

Naruto sighed and grinned up at him, hand giving another squeeze to Sasuke's groin before pressing to Sasuke's chest. "Then, you had best let me up so I can get back all the sooner."

Sasuke groaned and sat back reluctantly, his hands going immediately to adjust his trousers. "Now I'm the one who will be hard all day."

"That's what you get," purred Naruto as he pushed up from the bed.

He felt Sasuke's eyes trailing over him as he dressed in loose khaki trousers and a thin sweater. There was still a bite in the spring air and the last thing Naruto needed was to get sick, not to mention he needed to hide the glaring hickey now bright just above his collarbone.

"Like what you see?" asked Naruto, turning around and grinning at Sasuke.

"Always." Sasuke stood and walked to where Naruto stood. He pressed forward and grazed their lips together.

"If you keep distracting me, I'll never get out the door."

"I know." Sasuke stepped back and knelt to retrieve the papers he had dropped earlier. "Call me on your break?"

"Don't I always?"

Naruto leaned over to drop a peck on Sasuke's lips. "I'll see you in a couple of hours."

Trotting out of the apartment, he locked the door behind him and pressed a hand to his chest. Sasuke had his moments. Some days he would be so into his work that Naruto could have keeled over and he might have barely noticed and others where he had to simply sneeze to get his full attention.

And the morning blow job—that was a treat he was not expecting. It made him wonder how much longer he had to enjoy those before he became really sick. Each moment with Sasuke was stored away in his mind so that he could draw on them just to keep going. He had been so strong, but lately, his will to be strong felt as if it was leaving him. He had never been this sick before. His weak heart had always been something that would eventually fail. Now, it felt as if each beat could actually be his last.

He saw the red car parked prettily and sighed before passing it to slide into the black SUV Sasuke had bought as a second vehicle. He knew Sasuke did not mind him driving his baby, but the neighborhood where the suicide hotline was located was not the best. There was no real danger to Naruto, but a sexy sports car like Scarlet would definitely draw a lot more attention than a SUV. If Scarlet was damaged, he knew he would go insane with guilt.

He really did love the car; not as much as Sasuke, but love was love.

Sighing, he turned over the engine and began the drive to work. It wasn't work in that he was paid, but rather that he filled a need in himself. The hotline was strictly volunteer operated. In some ways, that made it harder to find skilled operators, but paying someone also made them more likely to care less about the person calling for help and more for their paycheck.

Naruto liked that everyone there was there because they wanted to help. It made the place more comfortable, even if the turnover rate for operators was quite high. He liked being able to say he was doing something to thank all the people that helped him. He could set his own hours and since meeting Sasuke, money was not a problem. He didn't really like depending on Sasuke, but it was something they discussed and if he ever did get a heart, then they would readdress the issue. Until then, he would do what he loved.

He parked the SUV and walked into the building. The lobby was small; they didn't get visitors often. Their callers were more interested in remaining anonymous.

"You're a few minutes late, Naruto."

Naruto grinned and winked at Temari. "Sorry about that. I got distracted."

Temari was a strong woman. She had started the local suicide hotline when her brother, Gaara, had attempted to commit suicide several years back. They had saved him, but it had shaken the entire family. She had immediately started a small program that expanded, hugely funded by donations and government funding. She never wanted to see another family experience what hers had.

There was no telling how many people they actually saved, but the walls were littered with letters written to them in thanks for what they did—many of them addressed to Naruto.

"It's that sexy man you're shacked up with, isn't it? Is he being a bad influence on you?"

Naruto grinned and fought back the flush that rose on his cheeks. "I think it's more like I'm the bad influence on him."

"Figures." She tossed him a look and muttered under her breath before turning and walking through the cubicles set up.

The room looked more like an office than a suicide hotline, but each of those cubicles housed someone who was quietly speaking with someone in need, someone at the end of their rope. The hotline ran twenty-four hours a day, so someone was always there to answer the calls of those who needed them.

Naruto walked to his office and grinned. He was one of the lucky ones with his own office. The operators knew when someone was on a razorblade edge. Those were always transferred to Naruto if possible. He always had the easiest time building a rapport with people and could talk them down enough to seek help or in some cases, call help for them. The calls were anonymous, but in the more dire cases, the calls could be traced and help sent to their location.

Slumping in his chair, he pulled out a book from his satchel and began reading. The calls would come soon enough. While most of the calls were routed locally, the suicide hotline Temari had set up was growing in radius. There were smaller set-ups outside of the city. She was doing a good thing and it was growing.

Each operator was important, but Naruto was special. His name and extension was listed with all the operators. If they thought he was someone that could help talk down someone, it was arranged and the call transferred.

Almost as if he jinxed himself by thinking it, his phone began ringing. He pulled on his headset and hit the button to start the call. "Subaku Suicide Hotline, this is Naruto."

Naruto cocked his head at the harsh sound of breathing in his ear. It would not be the first time that someone had called in but was afraid or unsure what to say. All he could do was become a comforting voice in their ear until they felt comfortable to talk. It was something he was very good at.

"What's your name? Do you want to talk? Sometimes the hardest part is that first step."

Naruto gave a pause again. This was not about hearing himself speaking, but giving the other person on the line a chance to say what they needed to and to help them through the crisis.

"Come on, hun, talk to me. Let me help you through this. I know it's hard and you feel alone in the world. I get that. I know what it's like."

"Do you?"

Naruto had to strain to even hear the whispered words. His hand reached for the volume control on his headset and gradually twisted the dial. "Yeah, I do."

"You don't. You can't imagine." The voice was a girl. Age was hard to determine, but she sounded young. Probably late teens or early twenties.

"I may not know what you're feeling now, but I can help you get through this."

"No, you can't," she whispered.

"Why not?"

"No one can help me."

"Have you let them try?" Naruto shifted in his seat. He hadn't had one this close to the edge in a long time. There was something in her voice that spoke of the pain she felt and the feeling of hopelessness it brought with it. "Give me a chance to help you."

"Can you cure AIDS? That's the only way to help me, so can you?"

He could feel the caller beginning to become agitated and immediately went into critical mode. "You know I can't. I can only be a listening ear for you. Let me be that for you. AIDS isn't a death sentence any more. There are drugs and treatments. People with AIDS can live long lives and even have meaningful relationships."

The girl began laughing. It was a dry and brittle sound and tore at his gut. "You don't know anything. It doesn't matter, anyway. It's better to die this way than what is waiting for me."

"Better for who?"

The voice quivered. "My mom. My dad. They shouldn't have to watch me die slowly."

"Your parents love you. They will cherish every moment with you. Every moment."

"I know what AIDS can do."

"What about meds? HIV isn't curable, but at least it's treatable."

"The meds aren't working. The doctor told me I contracted a rare strand of the virus from that bastard. My death is going to be long and painful." Her voice caught in a sob. "I can't do that to them."

"I don't think they mind. If someone loves you, they will stay by you no matter what."

"But I don't want them to stay by me. I don't want to...have you ever seen hope die? I saw it. I saw them looking at me. I saw it in their eyes. I saw their hope die with each word from the doctor."

"I know what you think you saw, but how do you know what you saw was what you saw? Things aren't always what they seem," he said.

"This was. They want me to die. They want it to be over."

"They don't..."

"They do," she interrupted. "I found out today that I have AIDS-related cancer. If I die tonight, it will be painless and my parents won't have to see me so sick that I can't even take care of myself."

"That's not the way," argued Naruto. "They would want every minute they could have with you—the good and the bad."

"They would want it, but I know they want my death to be as painless as possible. They would want all of us spared that agony. I don't want to die...but I don't want them to see me like that."

He could hear the fear in her voice. She did not want to die, but was afraid of what awaited her with that horrible disease. He felt a kinship with her. Both of them were on borrowed time and in for a load of suffering before they finally died.

"They would want you to be with them."

"Can I ask you something?" Her voice was back to a whisper.

"Anything," he said.

"If you were dying, would you want your family to have to watch you die?"

Naruto's breath caught in his throat. "I..."

"It's hard, but this is what I can give them. I can save them from having to watch me waste away in constant pain. It will be quick...and painless."

"That's not the way."

He thought for a moment that he could hear the smile as she spoke. "Thank you for being with me."

Freezing, he heard her voice becoming labored. "Hun?"

"I'm really tired now. I just...I just wanted...someone with me."

"What?" Naruto was on his feet, mind whirling. "Where are you, hun? I can have an ambulance come and get you."

"Too late. Don't leave me alone."

"Please. Let me help you." Naruto hit an emergency button to call Temari. "Tell me where you are."

He could hear the slowing breath through the phone. "Hun? Please, don't do this."

"Naruto?"

Naruto gripped the edge of his desk. He was shaking. He couldn't hear her breathing any more, the phone likely having fallen away from her face. "She's dying. We have to help her."

Temari immediately transferred the call to the Emergency response department, who notified the police and arranged for ambulances. They were only used in cases where the caller actually harmed themselves.

"She's dead," whispered Naruto.

He slumped down in the chair and stared ahead as if blind. It was not the first time that he had heard someone commit suicide while on the line with him. He had heard people die before, but for some reason, this girl hit him harder than the others. In many ways, she mirrored him. She was dying and feared her loved ones having to watch her suffer. He was much the same. The thought of Sasuke watching him die was his greatest fear, even more so than the act of dying.

"Naruto, there was nothing you could have done."

"I didn't approach her the right way. I could have stopped her. I should have realized she had already taken the pills and had the ambulance already on the way."

Temari knelt before him, placing hands on the arms of his chair. "Don't be an idiot. There was no way you could have known. You did everything right. You tried to persuade her into reason but sometimes people are too far gone. She just did not want to die alone. And to be honest, she was lucky it was you."

"I just...I can't..."

Temari stood and pulled Naruto into her arms. "I want you to go home. You're not in any shape to help anyone today."

"Temari...we are the same, me and that girl."

"What do you mean?"

"We both don't want the ones we love to have to suffer along with us."

Temari looked at Naruto sharply. "Naruto..."

"Sometimes I wonder if it would be better if Sasuke and I weren't together. When I think of what is going to happen and what Sasuke will have to do...I nearly go insane. I love him so much, but I don't think I can stand to see that look in his eyes when he realizes that I'm going to die."

Temari grabbed Naruto's shoulders and gave him a little shake. "I don't know your boyfriend well, but I do know that he loves you."

"So do I, but does that give me the right to put him through so much before the end. I'm not so sick now, but I'm getting a lot worse. I probably only have a few months left until my heart failure becomes obvious."

"Oh, Naruto." Temari hugged him close to her. "I can't tell you what to do, but I think you should do what your heart tells you."

Naruto rested his head on her shoulder. He took comfort in her embrace even though his mind and heart was still conflicted about what he should do.

"Do you need me to call Sasuke to come get you?" she asked.

Naruto shook his head. "I'm alright. I can drive. Is it really alright if I leave?"

"You know it is."

Naruto nodded and grabbed his satchel. His hands shook slightly as he dug out his keys and gripped them tightly. The world seemed in a haze as he reached the SUV and climbed inside.

As he sat in the driver's seat, he simply stared ahead blindly. That girl's words were still ringing loudly in his ears. It was painful just thinking about it, but in so many ways, what she had said made a lot of sense to him. Was it right to let Sasuke suffer through the illness and eventual death with him? He did not believe for an instant that suicide was the answer to anything, but he could not help but wonder if Sasuke truly understood what would happen very soon.

Maybe Sasuke would be better off without him. If he broke things off now, Sasuke would be angry, but he would not have to suffer as badly. Just the thought turned his stomach. Both options were undesirable and painful. If he stayed with Sasuke, the love of his life would have to watch him slowly waste away. If he left, both of them would suffer, though Naruto far more.

Sacrifice.

It could mean so many things, but in the end, it was what it was. To sacrifice was to give up something of great value for the sake of someone else. Giving Sasuke his freedom was something he could return, something he could sacrifice, in honor of his love for him.

Shaking his head, he turned over the engine and drove home. Inside, his mind still churned and bubbled. There were so many things rising to the surface that he was having trouble reconciling them all. The most important was what he should do. That girl's death had shaken him, but her words had done so much more.

He thought about not going home. There were many places he could go to think, but there was only one place he felt safe and secure enough, only one place he needed to be in this moment, and that was in Sasuke's arms.

He felt like a zombie as he pushed open the door to the apartment. He saw Sasuke plucking away at his laptop at the table and smiled. The office was hardly used any more. It had become a habit between them for Naruto to veg out on the sofa and be lulled by the sound of Sasuke's typing. Not even the sound of the television playing would disturb Sasuke when he got into a rhythm.

So he simply stood there watching Sasuke. He felt he could do that for an eternity and be happy.

Swallowing the sudden thickness in his throat, he spoke. "I'm home."

Sasuke looked up instantly. His glasses were situated on his face and his bangs were pulled away from his face with some plain barrettes that Naruto had insisted would help keep them from his eyes while working.

"Did something happen?" Sasuke was immediately on his feet and going to Naruto. "Are you sick? Do I need to call Itachi?"

Naruto did not answer, but simply wrapped his arms around Sasuke's waist and buried his face in his neck. "I'm not sick. I just needed to hold you."

"Naruto?"

Naruto tightened his arms and breathed in deeply. The hint of Sasuke's spicy aftershave caused his nose to tingle and he shuddered in the pleasure of it. It was these little things about Sasuke that he loved. He loved the way he smelled. He loved how cute he looked when he was focused on whatever project he was obsessed with. He even loved when he fed him that bland as fuck food.

"I love you."

Sasuke blinked before completing the embrace and wrapping his arms around Naruto. "Me, too," he whispered.

"I need you," said Naruto.

Sasuke pulled back. "Naruto, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just need to feel you." Naruto ran his hands under Sasuke's shirt and pressed them flat against his back. "Please."

Sasuke's eyes darkened a shade with both lust and uncertainty. They promised both pleasure and questions later. Naruto did not care. He just needed Sasuke burned into both his body and his mind.

Sasuke fitted their lips together in a hard and quick kiss before leading Naruto toward the bed room.

Naruto pressed his face to Sasuke's naked chest and listened to the firm thumping. He loved moments like this. They soothed him as nothing else could. He could almost believe everything would be alright if they stayed like this. His heart would never give out if he was in Sasuke's arms.

But that was not the case. No amount of wishing would make it so. He knew the statistics. Even Itachi refused to discuss his odds of receiving a heart unless he pried it out of him. The chances were slim, so he had to decide if he wanted Sasuke to have to sit at his side as he slowly withered away.

He could kill himself like the girl. His ending would be quick and Sasuke would mourn, but he would get on with his life. It was a better ending than forcing Sasuke to become his nursemaid before he finally died. Either way he was going to die.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he tightened his arms around the love of his life and fought back the flood of tears blinding him...and knew he could never kill himself—not even for Sasuke. It was not in him to take his life. Shitty though it was, he could never give up what little time he might have left.

So that left one option and it was almost unthinkable.

And his heart ached. Suicide started looking really good when he thought about it. It was not that he thought Sasuke was not willing to sit at his side as he grew sicker. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that Sasuke was most definitely willing. He knew Sasuke loved him and that made the choice so hard.

If he did this, he was doing this for Sasuke.

His eyes closed and he breathed in the rich musky scent that clung to Sasuke's skin. He only prayed he had the strength to do it, because he could not bear to think of the look in Sasuke's eyes as he slowly wasted away. That girl was right. Seeing that look and putting Sasuke through that was far worse than his eventual death.

"I love you, Sasuke," whispered Naruto against Sasuke's chest.

Sasuke gave a sleepy grunt and tightened his arm around Naruto's waist. "Me too," he grumbled.

And then the tears did flow.