Naruto felt as if he had been living in a fog for days. It hazed everything while making the things he did now want to think of become all too vivid in his mind. He did not know what to do. Stay or leave, either way Sasuke would be hurt. The question was which would give Sasuke the least amount of hurt before the end. The thought of Sasuke caring for him as he grew weaker and sicker, even to the point of having to wipe his ass for him, did not sit well with Naruto.

"What's wrong with you?"

Naruto blinked and shifted his gaze to where Sasuke sat staring at him over the rim of those sexy as hell glasses that he wore when working. "Huh?"

"You have to turn on the television to watch it."

Naruto turned to look at the dark screen and then back at Sasuke. "Oh, right."

He flipped on the television using the remote from the coffee table. "Better?"

Sasuke frowned and stood, walking to where Naruto sat. "Naruto...what's the matter? You've been like this for days."

"Stop asking me that, damn it!"

"Then stop acting like a limp vegetable."

Naruto stood and faced down his lover. They were close in height, Naruto having only a couple more inches on Sasuke, not that height mattered. Sasuke could probably beat his ass if he wanted to. Handsome nerd that Sasuke was, he was a very athletic one.

"Tell me what is wrong."

Naruto met Sasuke's glare and felt the urge to punch him...or kiss him—probably both. He just didn't know when to leave well enough alone. That was something Sasuke had developed more potently the more Naruto's heart disease progressed.

"Just leave it alone, Sasuke."

"Naruto, you're not acting right. I can't help you if you don't tell me what is wrong."

"What if I don't want your help?" snapped Naruto.

"If you don't tell me what is wrong, I'm calling your boss. Whatever happened the other day is driving you absolutely insane."

"Sasuke, I'm not going to do this with you."

"Do what? I'm only trying to get you to stop acting like a ghost."

Something in Naruto snapped. "Well, considering that eventuality isn't far off, I'd say that is a very good assessment."

Sasuke paled and stared at Naruto as if he had grown a second head. "Don't talk like that."

"Why? It's the truth."

"It's not the truth and you know it. You're going to get a heart."

"Stop saying that because then I might believe it."

"It's true." Sasuke stormed to Naruto and he lifted his hands to cup his face. "I'll stay with you to until it happens. I won't leave your side."

"And what, Sasuke? Are you going to bring me my food when I get too weak to even walk? Are you going to clean my bedpan and wipe my ass?"

"I'll do anything you need until you're better."

"But that's the thing, Sasuke," began Naruto. "I'm not going to get better. I'm only going to get worse."

"Why are you being so stubborn?" asked Sasuke.

"I've always been stubborn, you know that." Naruto slumped and exhaled a breath. He hated fighting with Sasuke like this, but it made him realize just what he was putting Sasuke through. His lover didn't seem to truly realize what was going to happen.

Sasuke had that stubborn look in his gaze. The man was stubborn as a mule, much like Naruto was. On some things they were polar opposites and on some they were identical.

It also fermented in him what had to happen. Sasuke had to let him go, even if it was unwillingly because it was the only way to save him from the pain of watching someone he loved waste away. Better to lose him now than to suffer through months of torture before losing him anyway. Everything he did, he did for Sasuke.

"I'm not fighting anymore."

Sasuke smiled and trailed his fingers down Naruto's cheek. "Good."

"Sasuke..." Naruto's eyes were filled with pain as he stared at him. It hurt too much to think of what he was about to say. His heart felt as if it was being ripped from his chest.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to go, Sasuke."

Sasuke frowned in confusion. "Go where? Is it your heart? Do I need to call Itachi?"

"No. Such that it is, my heart is fine for now." Naruto turned and walked toward the bedroom, his feet seeming to be caught in quicksand. The walk to the shared bedroom seemed to drain the energy from him and only the knowledge that what he did was for the best kept him going.

"Naruto?"

Naruto pulled a suitcase from the back of the closet and began to pull clothes from drawers and the closet, taking what he knew he would use and leaving the rest to be collected later. He could feel Sasuke's confusion and sensed a growing panic in him. It made it all the harder to do what had to be done.

It was for Sasuke that he was doing this. He kept repeating it in his mind, as if saying it made things okay.

"What the hell are you doing?" Sasuke grabbed Naruto's arm and turned him to face him. "Talk to me, Naruto."

"I'm leaving."

"What?"

Naruto smiled, though he knew it was a farce of one. It was a forced movement that held no purpose other than to hide the abject pain he felt in that moment, pain he refused to allow Sasuke to see. This was hard enough on both of them.

"I've been thinking about things."

Sasuke's eyes grew sharp and his hand lifted to clench in the material of Naruto's shirt. "That's a dangerous thing."

Naruto laughed mirthlessly. "I can't keep doing this, Sasuke."

"Doing what, exactly?"

"Hurting you."

Sasuke lifted a hand to Naruto's face. "What are you talking about?"

"You deserve someone who is healthy, not someone you're going to spend months taking care of before finally burying him."

Dark eyes went wide with shock. "You're not going to die. I only want you. I love you."

Naruto closed his eyes and for a split second, he wavered. It was hard not to miss the absolute love in present in Sasuke's face and in his stunningly beautiful eyes. If there was one part of Sasuke that he could say he loved above all others, it was those beautiful almond shaped eyes with irises so dark that it was hard to distinguish them from the pupil.

Seeing that look in Sasuke's face might have caused a waver in his determination, but it also solidified it. He had to do this for Sasuke, because his love wouldn't let him. If there was one thing Naruto had learned about Sasuke was that he loved powerfully. He might not say the words, but rather showed it in everything he did. Doing this for Sasuke would be his ultimate sacrifice of love.

"That's why I'm doing this."

Naruto turned quickly before Sasuke could see the tears he barely held back begin to catch on his lashes. God, he hoped dying hurt less than this, because he already felt as if his soul was being pulled free from his mortal body. It was a hurt that was so potent; he could barely withhold a scream of agony rising up in his throat.

"Naruto!"

He refused to turn, even when he heard the pain in Sasuke's voice. He had to be strong and remember why he was doing this. It really was the only thing that was keeping him going at this point.

"I'll...get the rest of my stuff later."

And with those words, nearly turning to ash on his tongue, he left Sasuke standing in the door of their apartment. As he made his way out of the building, he left the two vehicles where they were. Sasuke had bought the SUV for him and his pride and honor would not let him take it. Thankfully, he was able to flag down a cab and instruct the driver to take him to the cheapest hotel with clean bedding.

It turned out to be a small mom and pop-owned place. The paint was a bit faded and it did not possess any wi-fi capabilities, but at least the sheets were suitable and the bathroom looked nearly pristinely clean. The older woman in the office was more than happy to take a week's payment in advance and showed him happily to one of the units next to a flickering soda machine.

As soon as the door closed behind her, Naruto collapsed to his knees and brought a hand to his lips to muffle the scream that tore through him. He swore he was dying in that moment because the hurt in his chest seemed to take over his entire being. He tasted blood where his teeth broke the skin on his knuckles and tears tracked wetly to splash around him. He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and did not bother to look at the screen as he tossed it across the room where it skidded to a halt beside the adjacent wall.

Half crawling across the threadbare carpet, he collapsed on the single double bed and curled up into a ball, trying to disappear into himself. He kept repeating a mental mantra over and over in his mind. This is for Sasuke. It was all that kept him from reaching for the phone that continued to buzz repeatedly with only seconds of silence before the buzzing began again.

The pillow was soaked through with tears until there was nothing left for him to cry. His eyes felt dry and crackly and his body, no his entire being, was wrung into nothing but a husk of what he once was. He had always been the type to lay down everything for a friend, but Sasuke was more, every so much more, than a mere friend. Sasuke was his everything. If it had been in him to do so, he would have gone the route of that girl, but suicide was never something he could do.

He wanted to live, even if he had to do so alone.

Exhaustion tugged at him and he grabbed the spare pillow to pull to his chest. It was a poor substitution for Sasuke's warmth, but he no longer had Sasuke to cuddle against. He would need to get used to sleeping alone again.

Closing his eyes, he sighed pitifully and allowed himself to be pulled fully into sleep.

Sasuke stared dumbly at the door that Naruto had escaped through...no, correction, that he had allowed him to leave through. What the hell had happened? His brain, as highly developed as it was, was having trouble understanding what had just happened. While it was true that something about Naruto had been off for several days, he assumed it was only because he was ruffled from what had happened with that call in at the suicide hotline, but he had never thought for even a moment that it would push Naruto into leaving him. All he knew was what Naruto had told him—that one of the calls had upset him and he was taking a few days off from work. After what had happened today, he wanted to call up Temari Subaku and ask her what the fuck had happened to cause Naruto to do this.

His mind seemed to whirl rapidly in his skull as it tried to compute what had happened. He felt a shot of pain through his chest and lifted a hand in surprise. The pain was not physical, yet it felt just as bad if not worse than if it had been such.

His hands began shaking followed by his entire body. Tears misted his eyes and he shook with the force of the emotions running through him. He stumbled through the apartment, trying to remember where he had left his phone. He had to call Naruto.

His fingers were barely sturdy enough to trace along the screen to Naruto's number. With his heart pounding in his chest, he held the phone to his ear and waited to hear Naruto's voice. Whatever had happened, whatever he had done or not done, he would make it right. If Naruto wanted more space, he would give it to him. If he would prefer Sasuke hire a nurse when he became sick, it was as simple as a call to Itachi for reputable services.

"Hi, this is Naruto. If you're hearing this then I'm probably ignoring your ass. If this is Sasuke, I'm probably at work or sleeping, though why you aren't sleeping with me is a baffling thought. Anyway, leave a message and I'll call you back."

Sasuke smiled at the cheerful tone. He'd rolled his eyes when he heard Naruto composing it shortly after he had gotten the phone. He recalled making an offhand comment about it sounding absolutely ridiculous and Naruto sticking his tongue out at him, which in turn, caused Sasuke to take Naruto to bed and show him better ways to occupy his tongue.

"Naruto, don't ignore me. You need to call me back. We need to talk about this."

He ended the call and redialed, only to get the same message and leave another of his own in the wake of the first. His emotions felt raw and before long, his voice was equally raw. It soon grew to the point where there was no more room on the voice mail and the phone rang until an automated voice informed Sasuke that there was no room to leave a message.

Having long since sunk down the wall and been seated on the floor, he sat staring at the phone in his hand. He thought they were through this. Naruto had fought so hard after they had gotten together. The issue of his heart was not something either could ignore. Naruto had made it so fucking clear when they finally became something more about his illness and Itachi had explained the likely route the illness would take.

To have Naruto suddenly make an about face bothered Sasuke. He was truly scared for the first time in his life.

Sasuke pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes and swallowed around the thick lump that was threatening to choke him. His hands shook as he picked up his phone once more, but instead of dialing Naruto's number, he hovered his finger over Itachi's name.

"Sasuke, to what do I owe this call? Business or pleasure?"

"Naruto left."

"Oh?"

Sasuke heard the seriousness in wash all the playfulness from Itachi's voice. His brother had more than likely picked up on the strain in his voice. Given the shape he was in, it probably was not a hard thing to do.

"I don't know what to do."

"What happened, Sasuke?"

Sasuke began speaking, letting wave after wave of frustration and worry pour from him. He told Itachi of how Naruto had come home early one day and that he had been strangely quiet ever since. Even though his illness sapped Naruto of much of his energy, he always exuded a sort of energy and lightness. Over the past few days, that seemed gone from him.

"Itachi, has he contacted you at all?" asked Sasuke with a sort of futile hope.

"You know he hasn't."

Sasuke closed his eyes and released a small whimper. "What if he's gone for good? What am I going to do without him?"

"Get off your ass, that's what. Does Naruto have you that pussy-whipped? Stop being a doormat and pull yourself together. Maybe he needed some space. He's got a life-threatening illness and it is true that a heart might not come for him. I'm sure that a lot of this weighs heavy on him."

"Naruto will get a heart."

Itachi chuckled in his ear. "I'm sure if it was possible to buy a healthy one, he would already have it."

"Damn right, even if I had to cut it out myself."

"That's the Sasuke I know and love." Itachi paused and gave a small grunt. "Listen, give him a few days. The two of you are as close to soul mates as I would ever admit considering I don't believe in that rubbish. You've practically taken over his life and he's scared. He's scared of dying. He's scared of leaving you."

"How the hell do you know what he's thinking?"

"Sasuke, while I have a high success rate with my patients, I have had my fair share of patients who have died waiting on a heart or because they were not eligible for one. Naruto is not the first, nor is he the last to think those who care about him would be better off without him. Just be patient with him for a few days. Don't call him every five minutes. You know that old saying—if you love something set it free, if it comes back it's yours if it doesn't, it was never meant to be?"

"I love him, Itachi. How can I let him go? What if he doesn't come back?" Sasuke's voice rose an octave as renewed panic set in. "I don't want to live without..."

"Sasuke!" Itachi's voice cut hard through the phone. "Don't even think like that."

"You don't understand. You said we're soul mates...but how can one of us live without the other. People make jokes about love birds, but the truth is that once mated, they cannot go on without the other. If one dies, the other soon follows."

"Sasuke, listen very closely to me. Naruto is fine. He knows how to survive. Give him some space to realize what is going on with him. We have an appointment in a few days, so let me handle speaking with him."

Sasuke nodded though he knew his brother could not see the movement. "Alright."

"Don't worry, Sasuke."

He didn't answer, pressing the end symbol on the screen and dropping the phone limply beside him. His eyes drifted to the bedroom door that Naruto had walked out of only a short while earlier. He could see the edge of the neatly made bed that would likely still have Naruto's scent still embedded on his side. His chest ached and he found himself standing and walking into the room as if pulled by some invisible string.

Without even a thought, he crumpled onto the bed and buried his face in Naruto's pillow. Taking a deep breath, he inhaled the faint traces of Naruto's scent. Just that little ounce of comfort relaxed him. It was still late afternoon, but he found he did not have the will or desire to leave the bed and what remained of Naruto's scent.

He remained where he was with his nose buried in Naruto's pillow until finally the exhaustion brought on by the stress of Naruto leaving claimed him and he drifted off into a fitful sleep. Ever little bit, he would jerk awake and think he heard Naruto returning home, only to find that the apartment was still empty and silent.

"Naruto," he whispered into the pillow before dozing off once more.

Naruto stared at the cash he had pulled from his wallet. It was not nearly enough to survive on. He had a bank card and a practically unlimited amount of funds, but taking money Sasuke had set aside for him seemed wrong. Just using the money he had in his wallet was bad enough.

And to make matters worse, he had left the apartment without his medicine. "Damn it."

He could call Itachi and ask him to call in a prescription to a local pharmacy, but that would still defeat the purpose of using Sasuke's money because he knew for certain that the cash in his wallet would not even begin to cover the cost of the medication.

There was also the option of returning to the apartment and collecting the medicine, but that would mean seeing Sasuke again and he knew if he saw him, he would not be able to leave again. He still was not sure where he had found the strength to leave before.

Turning again to the two hundred dollars, he slammed a hand into his brow. Why hadn't he thought this through? Sasuke always bitched about him for acting first and thinking later, but it was so hard to deny his impulses.

"Maybe Itachi has some lying around."

Then another thought popped into his brain and he slumped once more to the squeaky bed. What if Itachi refused to see him? It honestly would not be the first time he was forcefully thrown from Itachi's office though he had serious doubt that Hinata would allow him to be literally thrown from the place like Itachi's previous bitch of an employee. She had too much of a good heart for that.

So either way, he was fucked. If he went home, he would have to deal with Sasuke. If he went to Itachi, he might be given the proverbial heel. Couldn't he catch a break in life?

Coward that he was, Naruto grabbed his phone from the floor and stared at the number of missed calls with incredulity. Seriously? Fifty-six missed calls? Jesus Christ, he didn't think Sasuke would have had the patience to call that many times. He moved to look at the number of voice mails and his finger hovered over the prompt to listen or delete the overly full inbox.

Both choices were not something he could deal with now; and he exited that menu, mentally promising to go back later and do something. He scrolled through his short list of contacts and pressed the prompt to call before he could chicken out and decide to curl up and die in that hotel room without his medicine.

"Good morning, Naruto."

There were times when he hated caller id. "Hey, Itachi. I guess Sasuke called you."

"Only after he filled up your phone's inbox with voice mails, I'm sure."

Geez, was the guy psychic? "I need a favor."

"Do you?"

"I...uhh...forgot my medication at the apartment."

He could hear Itachi's brow lift. It was that loud of a silence.

"Then why don't you go get it."

"Sasuke's there," he mumbled.

"What was that? I don't speak mumble."

Naruto's brow ticked and he ground his teeth together. "I said Sasuke's there."

"I would imagine so since it is his apartment."

Naruto clenched his free hand into the material of the jeans he had slept in. "I can't see him."

Compassion was not something he associated with Itachi. Itachi was frank some days and unreadable the next, but he was never outwardly compassionate, yet the tone in his voice practically exuded it.

"Naruto, you and my brother need to talk."

"Please, Itachi, I can't. It's better if we break now while I'm still healthy."

"Did you hit your head, or something?"

"Stop being a dick," snapped Naruto. "Will you call me in some meds or won't you?"

Itachi sighed in his ear. "We have an appointment in two days. I'll call you in a week's worth of meds, but I expect you to be at our appointment."

"Will Sasuke's be there?"

"Is it Sasuke's appointment?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "No."

"Then he won't be here. I'm not a damn marriage counselor."

Naruto smiled sadly. "Thanks, Itachi."

"You're going to have to deal with my brother eventually. Once the shock is gone, he's not going to let you go. You haven't known Sasuke as long as I have. He is like a bulldog when he fixates on something and will run himself into the ground until he gets what he wants."

Naruto huffed out something that might be considered a laugh. "Yeah, that sounds like him."

"I'll see you on Thursday, Naruto."

"Yeah." Naruto ended the call and stared at his wallet and the bank card inside. While a week's worth of medicine wouldn't be that pricy, he was wary of spending what little cash he had.

He sighed and flopped onto the bed. Even talking about Sasuke with Itachi had created a knot in his stomach. He loved that bastard so much. Being away from him was akin to an addict going through detox. He could not imagine living without Sasuke and had to take it one minute at a time, practically counting the time since he had last seen him.

An acrid taste rose in his mouth and he was suddenly sick to his stomach at what he had done to Sasuke. He jumped to his feet and fled to the bathroom where he collapsed before the toilet and began to heave. Little more than acid and clear liquid was expelled into the bowl as he had not eaten anything since breakfast the previous day, and even then it had been little more than a few bites of oatmeal.

As the heaving stopped, he laid his burning cheek on the rim and began to cry. Was this better than suicide? He was torturing himself.

He jerked upward at the direction of his thoughts and then promptly groaned at the dizziness the action brought. He was acting stupid and needed to get his shit together before leaving to get the medicine Itachi had called in for him.

First, he called the pharmacy he used to check and ensure the medicine was filled and then he pulled out the ragged phone book in the bedside drawer next to an equally pitiful Gideon Bible and called for a cab service. He would grab food on the way back though he had little doubt it would remain mostly uneaten.

The more time that passed, the more certain he became in the belief that he would not survive long away from Sasuke. He always argued with Sasuke about him running his life, but when it boiled down to it, he enjoyed Sasuke's care. That made his sacrifice all the more bitter. He would have to figure out a way to live without Sasuke, which was all he could think to do.

AN: Thank you for the praise and comments. Keep 'em coming!